moosh in indy.

I figured I’d take a water aerobics class today instead of the ol’ ho hum treadmill.
You know, mix it up! Live a little!
Only problem is that water aerobics at the Y is not aerobics, it’s float and gab. The first words out of the mouths of the elderly were “Hold it Diane! Suzanne’s teeth fell out in the pool! Oh! No! Never mind! She got ‘em! Honey, (to Suzanne) you should really have them cemented in like Gina over there.”
Like the halls of high school only not a one of us had perky boobs, and apparently only a few of us had real teeth.
No one allowed me into their circle. The teacher introduced herself and that was the end of talking to “the new girl.” I wonder if they felt about me the way I feel about the sixteen year olds that place their untarnished flesh on display by the side of the kiddie pool.
Utter and complete loathing.
I assumed my position in the back so as not to annoy anyone with the fact that I didn’t hold my AARP card, using ridiculous foam dumbbells so as to get some sort of workout from the hour spent in the pool. The teacher called for all of us to “ride our noodles” to the deep end of the pool so we could do abs. I wasn’t using a noodle, I figured if I used a noodle I may as well apply for my Social Security benefits now. So I swam to the deep end of the pool.
And that’s when I happened.
I kicked Rita.
Kick is a strong verb here, it was more of a firm brush with my foot to Rita’s eligible-for-a-senior-discount hip. I may have well just called them all ancient beached whales. I had done the unthinkable. Although I apologized profusely, Rita held her hip and shot me nasty looks from the edge of the pool. Her bathing beauty posse surrounded her and joined in the scathing glares in my direction. YES. OKAY. I felt like garbage, I had come onto their turf and dared make unwelcome contact with one of the old ladies. But I didn’t deserve the dirty looks. Especially when at the end of the class Rita hopped out of that pool and practically skipped to the locker room spry as one of those sixteen year old horrors I abhor.

Drama queen.

So there you have it. My last day at water aerobics.

23 Comments so far

gotta love the oldies at the pool. they think they own it…and it sounds like it’s universal.

how could you…?

although, if you had the moosh with you, things may have turned out differently.

So THAT’S what I have to look forward to…fun times.

that’s so funny. ahh, old people, gotta love em. other wise…

Next time drown her. Or offer her your razor for her facial hair.

I’m laughing just picturing it.

And just so we’re clear - you’re one of the women who still has her original teeth, right?

ha ha ha ha… I tried water aerobics once and had a similar experience. Maybe one day they’ll have a class for people like us (not ancient and in posession of all of our teeth)!

HAHAHA. Oh my gosh, hilarious. You senior citizen abuser, you!

how dare you try to do water aerobics in the water aerobics class! shame on you!!

What is it with old ladies and water aerobics???? I had the same type of experience when I tried it out. The only thing I can suggest… is that if there is a night class and if at all possible… try that out. I tried a 7:30pm water aerobics class… all younger women… all totally working out. You know, most old ladies don’t like to drive at night (and they have bingo). heehee. I actually ended up really liking the class.

Were there any cocoons in that pool? does chlorine get rid of the blue in their hair? Inquiring minds want to know.

You have more nerve than I. I would have never made it into the pool with all the old ladies. At the Y I go to, they are MEAN! And look terribly, terribly cranky. Like maybe someone kicked them in the hip or something.

Sheesh Casey! Stop kicking old people.

p.s. i tagged you on my blog

I’m telling you…stick to the treadmill. In fact, you should have told them about your treadmill experience and made them really jealous.

Old farts.

I did water aerobics with my first pregnancy… three times. After that I got it out of my system and am glad I didn’t ever try it the “regular” way.

I’ve only been once. Same sort of experience. Only I was pregnant, and while I was afraid of the old ladies, my decision to never go back was based more on the fact that I was seriously waaaay too tempted to pee in the pool.

fyi — being in the water does NOT alleviate the pressure on one’s baby-bearing bladder

Hey, you tried. Maybe some other time? In, like, fifty years? Tell you what, we’ll all go together, right after we get back from having our teeth cemented and getting tattoos.

Puhlease. Old biddy.

I’d have kicked her again out of the pool :)! Accidentally of course.

You know, I am a serious swimmer and these water aerobics biddys create a super, meta whirlpool effect in the pool so that a current makes me bob around in my lane. Gar!

If I were you, I’d never get off the damn treadmill.

you RULE!! thanks for stopping hte lurk and commenting.

look forward to reading more.

and you are so PRETTY!!
Rachael
Redsy

LOL!!!
Give it a few decades before trying that class again!!!

Hahah! How did I miss this one!?

I’m always scared of this happening when I see a class I want to take in community ed. Especially Tai Chi. They emphasis how it’s for people of all ages, so I’m SOOO worried I will show up and they’ll all be seniors.

Not that I’d go kicking them or anything.

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