In pictures W hotels are so nice looking. So modern, so hip, so uber sexy. In person they’re loud, pretentious and  really loud. Walking in the first night I felt sexy, hip, uber cool. Then I realized the bathroom walls were transparent.

As in the mens room looked into the womens room and vice versa.

I started to get nervous. The bathrooms upstairs, while opaque, had rocks in the sink, a metal bead door and colored spotlights above each toilet. The cocktail waitresses wore black minidresses with black hooker boots. It was dark, super dark. And loud, did I mention loud? You can only make so much of a first impression WHEN YELLING AT SOMEONE THAT YOU ARE FROM INDIANA AND YOU WRITE ABOUT POOP ON A FAIRLY REGULARLY BASIS. May I also mention that the guest rooms had windows that looked into the bedrooms? *ahem*

Thinking I had escaped the UNKCHA UNKCHA UNKCHA beat of the bar by entering the elevator I was maddened to find that the elevator felt inspired to play even more rave music even louder for my entire ride. It never got quiet, anywhere, at anytime.

For any of you who feel like you missed out on the crazy rave glow stick days in high school, go stay at a W. It’ll cure you quick.

For any of you who’d rather gouge your ears out with swizzle sticks rather than have your every move followed by a very beat happy DJ WHO DOESN’T KNOW WHERE THE VOLUME IS, avoid the W.

At all costs.

It makes you feel really, really old when you’re only 25.

Comments

  1. I keep hearing about he noise level!! I’m surprised W hotels are so popular, it’s us OLD people who stay in places like that!

  2. I FORGOT that about the bathrooms. That creeped me out. I’m just glad I chose to pick my nose in the bathroom stall. :)

    And I noticed that there was a very large age/looks discrepancy between all of the couples who shared the elevator with me.

    PS: It’s totally all about you, baby.

  3. SAGE! I didn’t even notice, ssscandalous!

  4. Don’t forget the part where they don’t provide coffee — but the ecstasy is free.

    Oyvey.

    Miss you, Moosh! Love Bossy.

  5. I don’t think I hit those bathrooms. I went to MY bathroom … at the end of the hall…where it was very, very quiet.

    The Whiskey Room? Now THAT left me hoarse.

    And BOSSY, I picked up one of those $4.00 coffees and literally punched the bartender in the face when he asked me for money. What? No free coffee? Huh?

    But? I slept like a baby in my bed. OH DID I LOVE the room. THE ROOM … even with shutters on the bathroom.

  6. This was hysterical — not to laugh at your pain — but because my friend creates the visual art for the walls at W hotels, and I always figured that’s what they’d be like to actually stay at.

  7. Eek! That sounds dreadful.

  8. You changed…sorry I’m “late” to the party. Will update my blogroll.

    Must make reservations to a W hotel. Oh how i’ve missed raves in my life.

    Not!

  9. Did you get a picture of the restrooms with the transparent walls? Because now I’m kind of curious and wishing I were back in Chicago.

    I’m with OMSH, though: I loved the bed. Like, LOVED.

    Loved so much that I couldn’t make myself get out of it and get to ANY morning session on time.

    Loved it so much that I called my husband and told him that our Tempurpedic? HAS TO GO.

    Loved it so much that I pulled back the covers to see what kind of mattress it was. And lo: there was a lot of crap under there. I never found out, by the way.

  10. Lurve the W.
    The one’s in NYC are gorgeous!

  11. If you’re too old at 25 then I’m WAAAAAAY to old at, um, well past 25.

    And transparent walls between the mens and ladies rooms? Ew.

    Do they have it there every year? I may have to pack earplugs if I manage to swing it next year.

  12. It felt a little surreal when I walked in to check in at 1am. I thought I’d walked in the wrong door to the club or something. At least it was quieter during the day.

    And the shutters in the bathroom? I didn’t poop for 3 days. TMI? Sorry.

  13. I already feel really old at 25!

    Those places always make that feeling worse, though. I was annoyed just reading about it!

    I think I saw you in Suburban Turmoil’s flickr pix…were you at the party that got busted?

  14. Thanks for the tip. I’ll avoid the W like the plague.

    Seriously, we should all stay at the Hilton. The Not-Hiltons just aren’t the same.

  15. You forgot to mention the fur box on the bed. I hate to imagine where that thing has been.

    Ours lived in the corner of the room for the rest of our stay. Ewww!

    (The shutters on the bathroom have nothing on the totally see-through bathroom at the downtown LA Standard hotel that my husband and I love to stay at. Yes, the entire bathroom, including the shower, are see-through. Sexy? Not so much.)

  16. I was perfectly happy at the City Centre, although I do believe the beds at the W were much more comfy.

    I tried really hard to see through those walls but I think they’re like one of those 3D art things…I just didn’t see it…

  17. Hay there babe!

    I tried to bid you adieu but couldn’t find you after the museum closed. Please do stay in touch!

    Jazz

    P.S. Congrats on being on “your own”!

  18. It wasn’t the noise of the W that made you feel old.

    It was all that orgasming you did on the treadmill, honey.

    sheesh.

  19. It was loud and loud and loud at The W. I felt very old and very un-hip there. As much I really wanted to feel young and hip, what I wanted more was a cup of coffee that didn’t cost me $4 and a nap. Not necessarily in that order.
    But dazzayum, those beds!

  20. It gratifies me somehow that someone 20 years younger than me felt the same way I did.