It happened on all Hallows Eve.

My roommate was going to his party as Hugh Hefner. He claimed he needed “a girl’s touch” to complete his costume. I already had mine figured out so together we headed to Nordstrom in hopes of procuring the perfect “Hef” robe.

Men’s robes were placed right in front of the Chanel counter on the lower level. Chanel girl caught my roommates eye immediately.

“But how to I go up to a girl behind a makeup counter and not look obvious and desperately hopeless? Especially when she just saw me with you?”
“You tell her “your sister” needs the perfect lip liner to go with this lipstick.” I pulled a lipstick from my purse and off he went to conquer Chanel girl.

It took a $24 lip liner ($24!) but he got her number, he was on cloud nine.

“Is there anything I can do for you? That was brilliant.”

“Do you need anything from RadioShack? There’s this one guy that works up there and I’d really like to know his name.”

“I could use new batteries for the remote. Let’s go.”

As soon as we turned into RadioShack my stomach dropped, he would be the one helping us. I hadn’t had a crush like this, well, ever. I called a friend on my cell phone so as to avoid any eye contact with hunky RadioShack boy, I was that nervous. But before I headed off to hide behind the headphone display like the giggly school girl I was, I noticed his name tag dangling from his lanyard.

“Cody”

Transforming Mooshville.

In an effort to keep princesses from taking over my entire existence, I decided to introduce some more “testosterone laden” toys into the moosh’s collection.Autobots! Roll out!

Enter the Autobots. (Decepticons? I don’t know how to tell. Cody will be so disappointed.)

New Arrivals.

“What new land have we here, FlyBaller?”

“Not sure, PremiumGrind, let’s find some locals.”

Trying to make friends with Little People

Needless to say, Mr. and Mrs. Little People were not for opening up their door to ginormous shape shifting robots with guns for arms. So the bots traveled over to Weebleville, hoping the local law enforcement could give them some information about this new pink princess world.

A visit to Weebleville

Sadly, Penguin Officer Weeble was so frightened by the newcomers he was speechless (and messed his Weeble Police car, but shhh. That’s between us).

Then from across the room came a sweet voice,

“Boys? Oh Boys?” it was Snow White, the village harlot.

A welcoming Princess.

Snow White, FlyBaller and PremiumGrind all made fast friends.White gone wild.

Did I mention they made fast friends with the liquor cabinet too? It was a shameful sight when the village awoke to the three miscreants the next morning.

Snow White getting

The townspeople had had ENOUGH. With pitchforks in hand they tossed out the surly newcomers.

The townspeople drove the scum out.

The Autobots had no choice but to head out of town on the last Pooh train of the day.

Slow train to China.

Beaten, dejected, but satisfied. Snow White sure did know her way around shifters and ball bearings.

*******************

Are you DISGUSTED with me? It all started when I was trying to change one of the Transformers from car to robot and Cody told me “Transformers aren’t supposed to involve grunting, you’re doing it wrong.” Then he made me watch Transformers last night.

Talk about weird dreams.

If you have a little boy in your house posing as your husband or boyfriend, the Transformers movie was MADE for him. Same geeky deliciousness as the ’80′s cartoon, only updated with better graphics and lots of cleavage.

AUTOBOTS!

ROLL OUT!

NaBloPoMo MeMe SuperStepford TO! THE! RESCUE!

NaBloPoMoFoo (National Blog Posting Month, Fool (I added the fool part)) is coming in November. All I know is I have to post everyday in November, no cheating. If there’s any more rules than that let me know, I’m not so hip to rules.

********

Transplanted Knitter tagged me for a very simple meme. (Thanks for that, memes generally give me hives.)

Turn to page 161 in whatever book you are reading and read/enter the 5th sentence. Then tag 5 bloggers to play along.

Since Runaway Bunny is only 14 pages long I really had to dig deep on this one.

Here’s my line:

“You got any peanut butter and a couple more slices of that bread?”

From She’s Come Undone by Wally Lamb.

I tag Megan at Velveteen Mind, Kim at Simply Me, Nell at Meanwhile, Jim at Ninja of the Mundane, Metalia, and Lindy at Chronicles of Squidge. Y’all read good books right?

No?

Fake it.

********

Remember the Halloween Humbugs?

I win. (But there’s still time to vote!)

Meet Casey, Stepford Wife.

Stepford Wife

and the moosh a.k.a. SUPER GIRL.

TO THE RESCUE!

TO! THE! RESCUE!

We went Trunk or Treating.

With an Easter Basket.

Super and Stepford

And when we got home on a ridiculous sugar high we put stuff on our faces.

Florida souveniers.

Because that kind of stuff is funny on a sugar high.

Maybe it’s funny all the time, I’m too high to know.

Are you a Halloween Humbug?

Cody’s mom is in town and last night while making last minute alterations to my awesome Halloween costume I learned that her kids weren’t allowed to participate in Halloween activities after 12 and she NEVER dressed up.

So there I was standing in my awesome Halloween costume with two Halloween humbugs staring at me.

My mom dressed up.

Doesn’t everybody dress up?

Shouldn’t everyone dress up?

Do you still dress up?

If you don’t dress up do you think those of us parading around in costume are complete fools?

ARE YOU SAYING YOU THINK I’M A FOOL?

THAT’S IT. OFF MY BLOG!

Just kidding, just know that you’re no fun and the moosh thinks I’M AWESOME.

I AM AWESOME.

Humbug.

What are your “Halloween rules”?

Just One of those days

Welcome to the second meeting of LWA (Law Wives Anonymous). I’m your host, Casey. Today’s disgruntled wife comes to us from somewhere in the the frozen North (anonymity people) and is married to a man who just happens to be in his first year of law school. (Collective groan of understanding everyone.) She’s unable to vent her true frustrations over at her place due to a little problem known as her family. (Again, groan of understanding.)

This may just be a regular feature here on moosh in indy. So if you’re married to or dating a law student, a Med student, a dental student, an attorney,  a doctor,  a PhD student, a mechanic or even a plumber LET IT OUT. It’s safe here, I delete trolls. Email me, mooshinindy at gmail dot com and get some deliciously cheap therapy.

Without further adieu, I give you Lonely in Law, eh?.

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Have you ever had one of those days where you wish you could just play make believe like your little kiddo and everything would be perfect?…Well for me it’s been one of those MONTHS! I just have to get it off my chest. First of all my husband’s in law school. Enough said. He also is in Law Review (basically the deans list that decides which law articles get published) and competing in the Laskin Moot (pretend court case) and also a negotiation competition. Which you’re supposed to drop classes for the Law review and Laskin…but nooo he hasn’t. enough about that the real reason(s) why I need to rant. Okay soo, my van is dead. We got it last year as a used van… well it has a leaking head gasket, whatever that is, so randomly when I turn left corners it will stall in the middle of the intersection, and anyone on student loans knows we are broke and don’t have money for a new one. So we will be carless in a climate that last year went down to -48 Celsius… don’t know what that is F, you can figure it out Americans. And to boot My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for almost a year now…….. took a test today… and it was negative. So i am in a bad mood. I don’t understand how with our first one I was on the FRIGGEN PILL and I got prego but when we are actually trying I can not get prego for the life of me… it makes me mad, and feel like I am letting my husband and my self down. Oh and also I hate the city I am living in right now (I know you too Casey) but honestly I feel sooo flipping alone, I don’t feel like I fit in, I don’t feel like I have any friends, I can’t be myself, I just hate it. So all in all…. life sucks right now for me….. Good news is that I love my husband and Daughter no matter what happens I have them! And they love me for who I am.

Thanks Casey I needed to get that out and couldn’t on my blog. Now I am continue to be my happy self!

The ABC’s of Indiana.

I was tagged over a month ago for a meme involving the ABC’s. (HI LIAM! NOT SURE IF YOU WANT TO BE LINKED! HI!)

Now if I were able to afford the therapy I so desperately need he or she would tell me to work on my relationship with Indiana. Hating the place you live can really drag a girl down. So instead of focusing the meme on me, I’ll be doing the meme about Indiana.

In case you were ever crazy enough to move here.

It happens.

Really, it does.

Promise.

Here it goes…

A-Awfully close to Chicago.

B-Big fields of corn.

C-Corn, so much damn corn.

D-Dolphin dome at the zoo, pretty awesome. Surprisingly.

E-FriEd PEpsi.

F-Flat. So flippin’ flat.

G-Gardens. White River Gardens. Perdy. Also surprising.

H-H&M (This is only a plus if you live somewhere without an H&M)

I-Indianapolis. Learning to spell this (quickly and out loud) sucks.

J-Jennifer, did you see all the Fried Pepsi?

K-Kentucky is down there. See?

L-Louisville is close. Good times.

M-Moisture, as in humidity. (H&M is way cooler than humidity, that’s why it won H.)

N-NASCAR.mmm hmm, that’s right.

O-HOOsier. (Again, H&M, way cooler.)

P- Pacers. If you like that sort of thing, which I don’t. But, you know.

Q-Queen of Shake Shake and Mike Rowe-have some Fried Pepsi.

R-Raccoons, man, they’re everywhere. Most are dead. But still everywhere.

S- Sirens, tornado sirens to be exact. Those are fun.

T-Tax! No sales tax on food!

U-Umbrellas, make sure you have one that CAN’T TURN INSIDE OUT.

V-Fried Vegetables. With a side of what? Yep, Fried Pepsi.

W-World champion Colts.

X-X marks the spot for wha? FRIED PEPSI!

Y-You want more meat? Because we have the Rib Festival.

Z-Zebras. At the zoo. Two birds, one letter. Skills people, mad skills.

The bikini comes full circle.

Once upon a time I had a sissy who invited me to be her date to a wedding.

ladies

I had to get on an airplane (BY MYSELF) to go and I ended up somewhere new.

sand self portrait

THE WEDDING WAS IN FLORIDA.

HIZZA!

beach beauties

beach walkingsissysflipper

I know. Who cares about my trip? SHOW US THE GOODS RIGHT?

THE bikini

I did it! On my period to boot!

I heart Floridaoceanpoolgirls

All the fresh beachy air and relaxation really got to me.

gonecrazy

And then there was the wedding…

wedding

OH. THE. TEARS.

Then there was the reception (bring on the liquor Shirley Temples!)

boogie feverdancing queen

The most stressful thing I had to worry about all weekend?

Whatever does one wear to a beach wedding in Florida in October when it’s 87 degrees?

Don’t worry, I figured it out.

sunset

And then there was having to read ENTIRE books in ONE SITTING in a hammock on THE BEACH.

hammock

And the sights.

bethbird

hibiscuspelican GPS

Don’t consider a GPS a sight?

IT IS BETTER THAN CHOCOLATE COVERED ALTON BROWN WITH SHIRLEY TEMPLES AND MASSAGES.

Then I had to go home.

From this.

florida food

To this.

Indy food

From this.

sunset supreme

To this.

laundry

And this.

sunrise

To this.

Sweet home Indiana.

Home sweet home.

I heart Florida.

Fat lips for all!

We had dinner tonight one table away from the moosh’s preschool teacher, Miss Gloria.

A majority of dinner was spent avoiding ketchup covered fingers which were waving wildly in Miss Gloria’s direction.

When we had all finished our cheeseburgers Miss Gloria snuck up behind the moosh to tickle her goodbye.

Her tickle caught the moosh off guard and resulted in the moosh slamming her face into the table.

(Commence breathless crying.)

Well, at least Miss Gloria will know why the moosh has a fat lip in her school photo next week.

Whoops.

***Enjoy the plethora of guest postage over the next few days. Read, comment, repeat. It’ll be better than chocolate covered Brad Pitt. Promise.***