To the outside childless observer the moosh can make hearts palpitate and fallopian tubes to twitch. Especially when she’s in one of her “moods”. You know the mood, she dances, she sings, she even tells a few jokes. She uses her manners. She poses. She hugs liberally.
It’s the kind of mood that lets me sit back, relax and revel in what a freaking fantastic job I’m doing at this mothering gig as everyone OOHS! and AHHS! over how extremely awesome my kid is.
One of these moods came out while a childless newlywed couple was around to witness it.
These moods are the equivalent to crack cocaine to a childless newlywed couple.
My friends were blindsided, they kept giving each other sideways glances as if to say “You and me, when we get home, we’re making ourselves one of these.”
HA! FOOLS! YOU FELL FOR IT?
See, the newlyweds weren’t around at 3:30 am when the delirious moosh took to roaming the halls turning on any light switch she could reach. Who knows how long she was up before SHE GOT A STOOL SO SHE COULD REACH THE SWITCH IN MY ROOM.
“OH NO YOU DON’T!” I screamed.
I figured I had struck enough fear in her to keep her in her room until it was light outside. (That’s our rule, if it’s dark, you’re not bugging me.)
Nope, 4:45 am rolled around and I was awakened to “MAMA, YOU WANT CEREAL WITH ME? THE YELLOW KIND?”
“BACK TO BED!” I shouted.
5:45 *tap tap* on my forehead. I open my eyes to her, THISCLOSETOMYFACE. “MAMA! YOU’RE AWAKE! YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME NOW!”
“BACK TO BED, IT’S. NOT. LIGHT. OUTSIDE.” I barked.
7:15 am ”Um, mama? It’s light outside.”
Now 7:15 is still early. But it’s doable. Assuming the waker upper isn’t as chipper as my waker upper.
“MAMA! YOU’RE UP! I’M SO HAPPY! LET’S HAVE CEREAL! THE YELLOW KIND! YOU CAN SIT BY ME! CAN WE WATCH THE BAT POOP SHOW? MAMA! CAN YOU GET THE LITTLE TINY DOLLS OUT FOR ME? NO, NOT THE BIG ONES, THE LITTLE ONES, THE LITTLE TEENY TINY ONES. MAMA! LET’S HAVE JUICE! I LOVE JUICE, IT’S SO YUMMY IN MY TUMMY! MAMA? WHERE’S GRANDPA? GRANDMA WENT TO CLASS. MAMA? I LIVE IN INDIANA, DADDY’S AT CLASS. MAMA! IT’S LIGHT OUTSIDE! TIME TO WAKE UP! YAAAAAAYYYY!!!!”
Remember when my kid was a quiet two year old and it was my nephew that was driving me to drink? Well now I have one of my very own, that I don’t EVER have to give back.
*ahem*
And to you my dear newlyweds, I wish you all the babies in the world, TONS OF THEM. In all their loud early morning chipper glory. You had just better thank your lucky stars I didn’t text the crap out of that perdy little iPhone of yours at 4 am. BECAUSE I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
As for the early morning renegade?
I’ve got it covered.
Jen says:
from a childless stand point I can honestly say that your moosh gives me the warm fuzzies and makes me want one of my own…but oh how I dread my sleep being interrupted. By the way I love the new banner! Seriously you make cute babies
November 30th, 2007 at 1:34 am
Kelly says:
Freakin AWESOME. Love the bungee cord. I wish our doors were close enough to do this! Wow… smart thinking!
And I love the new banner… those chubby little knees are too damn cute!
Oh and we have the same rule about it still being dark outside. But then my child will say at 6:30am “THE SUN IS UP!! WAKE UP!!” It’s enough to make me play “hide and seek” and I run to the closet with my pillow and blanket hehe.
November 30th, 2007 at 3:19 am
Kimmie says:
I heart you, and seriously her hair in that first shot…how do you do it? Yumm, olives.
November 30th, 2007 at 4:29 am
Kelly says:
“You had just better thank your lucky stars I didn’t text the crap out of that perdy little iPhone of yours at 4 am.”
That cracked me the hell up. But I have to say about 7:15am…that is a glorious wake-up time in our house. Because it’s usually 6:00am or thereabouts. Ouch.
November 30th, 2007 at 7:28 am
Rima says:
This post is so funny. I totally hear ya. I once almost knocked myself out trying to jump in the shower before my three year old saw me.
You can’t blame your childless friends, though. The Moosh is adorable.
November 30th, 2007 at 8:33 am
~JJ! says:
1. great new header!
2. love this post…so true!!!
3. out of all the links you added. Guess which one I clicked on? Bat Poop Show.
That’s right.
November 30th, 2007 at 9:15 am
Assertagirl says:
I have often thought to myself, “Maybe we should have a baby…” but then I think, “What if we get one of those kids who talks constantly in one of THOSE voices…
Moosh is so cute, though. I like your new colour scheme and banner!
November 30th, 2007 at 9:22 am
chris says:
LOL.
Moosh is a doll. And she makes me wonder…maybe a 4th…
And then I look at my 3…when they are in that same mood…and I think..maybe a 4th…
And then when I get woke up at 5:30 asking if one can play legos, 6:00 because the other is ‘hungy mommy and watch wittle bwear peas’, and then a full blown 6 year old diva fit at 6:30 because they are staying home from school and now she’s gonna ‘be miseable awl day ’cause I can’t see Adam. He’s my bestest fwiend in evewywhere and I have to see him or I’m not happy.’
No. No need for a 4th. The 3 I have are just right
November 30th, 2007 at 10:11 am
janet says:
loooooove the new banner.
and that mute button? it kicks in when they hit adolescence. then you have to BEG them to talk to you.
November 30th, 2007 at 10:15 am
Colleen says:
Oh… I don’t look forward to this. Zoe is still trapped in her crib. And there is a doorknob cover on the inside of her door. I’m hoping that’s keep her in.
November 30th, 2007 at 10:18 am
Kristin says:
What is that contraption on the door??? I need one! Please help! I’ve got 2 year old twins! ahhhhhhhhh!
November 30th, 2007 at 10:38 am
pinks & blues girls says:
Haha! I love your solution.
As one half of a childless couple, I know the “mood” to which you refer… I have had the itch to start making babies when around children in those moods!
Jane, Pinks & Blues
November 30th, 2007 at 10:42 am
Taryn says:
I’ve been reading for awhile, this post is hilarious. And I think the same thing with my little Samantha. She was also up all night last night and I was thinking she was not at her cutest when she asked me (no insisted) to go her friends house at 3 AM.
November 30th, 2007 at 10:43 am
stacie says:
ROFLMAO… yeah, wow, that is like a peek into a lot of homes with kids. Heck, I can’t even remember what it is like to sleep.
Great post.
November 30th, 2007 at 10:59 am
Nikki says:
every time my newlywed girlfriend comes over to visit she just stares at my children and i swear i can hear her biological clock tick-tick-ticking away. you’re so right…these longing, wanna-be parents would change their tune quick if they experienced the multiple pre-dawn wake-ups and temper tantrums =)
November 30th, 2007 at 11:16 am
Amy says:
LOVE the header!
My Goddaughter is 16 months younger than my daughter and I swear she exists on this earth because my friend Christie held and smelled my baby girl when she was an infant.
November 30th, 2007 at 11:49 am
Janssen says:
Hilarious! Now I’m curious what “yellow cereal” is.
November 30th, 2007 at 11:50 am
BOSSY says:
Another use for those handy little stretchy things. Aces.
November 30th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Lindy says:
Love the use of bungy cords to keep moosh contained! Love the new banner- I want to nibble those knees!
November 30th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
kris says:
A friend and I were discussing this the other day, the things they fail to teach you about babies when you are ready to have sex.
For instance, what will brother Pete think of me (or rather, my friend) when she adds yet another child into the family that he has to buy a Christmas gift for.
I’m so adding this one to the manual… teach your children the day they pop out of the womb that you can’t bother the mama until you see the whites of her eyes outside the bedroom door. Took me awhile, but I finally got em trained. Coarse, they’re not exactly toddlers anymore either.
November 30th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
Clink says:
bahahaha I am rolling!!! That is the funniest thing I have read in awhile…and really with the day I am having I needed it!
Thanks!!
hmmm maybe I shouldn’t be so desperate for my now week late baby to finally come out…
November 30th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
Marie Green says:
My kids tend to have the OPPOSITE effect on newlyweds- BIRTH CONTROL.
Too funny.
BTW, you could text ME that early, cause gawd know SOMEONE in this house is keeping me up- between the “scared” twins, the sick baby and the SNORING husband….
Hey! I love your new banner! LOVE. The chubby little knees… they make MY fallipian tubes twitch. =)
November 30th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
ali says:
oh, how i’m familiar with the THISCLOSETOMYFACE wakeup…sadly…
November 30th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Loralee says:
My kids usually slept in until 9:30.
(Hey! I have to have something! I missed NaBloPoMo!!!!)
November 30th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
Angela says:
Yeah we’ve totally tied doors to doors but just make sure you have tied down the inside of the room too. Otherwise all your storage in her closet…will be EVERYWHERE. Especially if you store glitter or craft stuff in there. Oh and blacking out her windows is good too.
November 30th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
Skye says:
Hilarious! Love it! Of course i think it’s funny cause Stratton is still in his crib thank heavens…but the bungee cord contraption? Brilliant.
November 30th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Burgh Baby's Mom says:
And I thought I was a genius for attaching a tent-like thing to my Toddler’s crib to keep her in it. Heck, she can have her whole room, just stay out of mine. I’m going bungee cord shopping pronto!
November 30th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
ashlee says:
Hey I could have used those cords when I was babysitting my sister in law’s kids when she was in the hospital giving birth to #4. Excellent Idea!
However, I think the moosh is still full of cuteness!
November 30th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
lou says:
BTDT w/ the bungee cords. Actually, I got sick of the cords and unscrewed the doorknob and turned it around so I could just lock it frm the outside. My son was an escape artist- 4 am would come and he’d have gotten past 3 locks and an alarm and I would hear him playing outside my bedroom window. CRAZY. I’m 26 and keep checking the mirror for grey hairs- I’ve earned them w/ him!
WTG on snowing the newlyweds- misery loves company rofl!!!!
November 30th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
LawyerMama says:
That bungee cord is awesome. Me? I turned the door knob around on his door so that the lock is on the outside.
November 30th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Isabel says:
My kid has yet to learn the “it’s dark outside” rule. But I’m trying.
Also, I saw an adult yesterday that looked just like the moosh. Except an adult one…which wasn’t so much cute as it was funny. Unfortunately, I did not get a picture.
Here’s hoping you get a nap today. Alone.
November 30th, 2007 at 2:38 pm
kerflop says:
The bungee cords? Totally wrap up how much I love you in one single photo.
November 30th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
rebecca says:
So I join in the love of your adorable moosh!!! And I just have to say that I am so glad it is the crazy month where you have to post everyday because I miss your guts out and this is how I get my daily dose of Casey. Said like a true Moosh mom fan…I heart you!!!!
November 30th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Midwest Mommy says:
You made me giggle out loud with this…
Mine has recently found the light switches too and finds it very very very entertaining in the middle of the night. She no longer cries to let us know she is up she switches on and off her light switch. I swear the neighbors think someone is doing morse code out of our house.
November 30th, 2007 at 3:58 pm
Jennifer says:
I totally love tricking those silly newlywed types. Mwahaha.
November 30th, 2007 at 3:58 pm
Lynne says:
What a cutie-pie!! (The pics of course, not the waking you up every 5 minutes thing) Nice engineering job. Fortunately I was never under any allusions with other’s kids. I was trained well by taking care of siblings and entire weekends babysitting much younger cousins. They may look like little angels but there is always a crack in their halos :)One afternoon with my angelic nephew and he has you begging for mercy. LOL
November 30th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
Angella says:
OK, first?
I think that moosh and Graham would be great friends.
And second?
You are a genius. And hilarious.
November 30th, 2007 at 5:34 pm
rachel says:
LMAO!
Moosh and monkey and princess so need a playdate… really, it wouldn’t take long to get to you from South Texas.. promise!
Love the new banner! Those knees are just cuter than a bug’s ear!
November 30th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
Mrs. Mustard says:
You are possibly the smartest mother I know. Must use this when Sacha figures out how to open doors.
November 30th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
OHmommy says:
I agree. The smartest mother EVER. Why did I think of that? Dammit! We are trying this tomorrow.
November 30th, 2007 at 10:35 pm
Christina says:
This is nearly a nightly occurrence for me. Cordy has trouble sleeping and is up at all hours.
I love your solution. We use a gate in front of Cordy’s door. She can push it over if she wants, but it serves as a physical reminder that we told her to stay in her room until we come get her - no earlier than 6am.
And yeah, fools. I wonder if they fell for it?
November 30th, 2007 at 11:37 pm
Anna says:
Oh my god. At least I know I have company at night. Let’s get them an Internet connection—perhaps Moosh and Henry can carry on together and let the rest of us SLEEP.
November 30th, 2007 at 11:43 pm
FENICLE says:
G.E.N.I.U.S.
December 1st, 2007 at 12:14 am
Brie says:
Awesome. We used to do that to my sister when we were younger- loop one end of a string or rope around her door knob and the other around the nearest door knob.
December 1st, 2007 at 12:18 am
She Likes Purple says:
That last picture is hilarious.
December 1st, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Anth says:
Oh I love it. I hope the bungee-cord-door-knob thingie works. Whatever that is. We trick those childless couples all the time, it’s SOOO fun. Baby E is often adorable at church. Little do they know…
December 1st, 2007 at 6:03 pm
Andrea says:
Confessing as a lurker, I love your blog. Thanks for the entertainment and all the laughs (and all the things in my life that you helped my feel grateful for). The month of November was awesome… as for a fave post, maybe the last one.
December 1st, 2007 at 7:18 pm
Nicole Wagner says:
I’m seriously almost peeing my pants!!
If you knew the kind of stress I was under I really needed that …..
why didn’t i find your blog earlier?
December 3rd, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Mrs. Chicken says:
I’m not sure how this happened, but your child seems to be channeling my child.
“IT’S MORNINTIME! TIME TO GET OUT OF MY CRIIIIIIB! I WANNA BRROOOOWWWWWNNNNIE!”
December 4th, 2007 at 11:18 pm
moosh in indy. » Dream a crazy dream for me. says:
[...] moosh Crack. [...]
December 13th, 2007 at 12:01 am
Antonette says:
I have GOT to try the bungee cord. What an awesome idea? My own mood switcher will be three next month. They sound like peas from the same pod…
December 16th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Butrfly Garden says:
BUNGEE CORDS!!!! Woman, you are a genius!!
I’ve always wondered how to do that without installing a lock on the door (”Hello, CPS?”). Heh. My kid’s doors are right next to each other. A two for one!!
December 21st, 2007 at 7:08 am
moosh in indy. » Pushing Chairsies. says:
[...] moosh Crack. [...]
December 29th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Mandi says:
We used to have to tie my brother in his room like that, but we used rope - the bungees are a brilliant idea. Of course, he’d get so mad, he’d tear apart his room. It’s also a great trick in dorm rooms, just make sure to undo it soon if the bathrooms are down the hall!
Mandi’s last blog post..Frozen in Place - Grand Central Station Comes to a Standstill
March 3rd, 2008 at 3:01 am
moosh in indy. » Huffy Puffin’ says:
[...] moosh Crack. [...]
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:23 pm