This is one of those posts that no one related to me is EVER going to talk about.
They’re just going to stick their fingers in their ears and scream “LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU” and pretend that I don’t talk about my lady bits on the internet. But frankly, I have some information that a lot of you will be interested in. (This is an invitation to quit reading dad, neighbors, father in law, mom, bishop, priests, prudes. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)
When this posts I will be at the airport surprising my husband. He thinks I am three hours away in his hometown and that he’ll be riding out with his sister tomorrow.
Instead his wife will be picking him up at the airport with a key to a hotel room five minutes from the airport.
You know, so we can go watch the news and take a nap.
IT’S BEEN FOURTY DAYS. Seriously, quit tsk tsking me. We have a lot of movies and books to catch up on together.
Little does he know I spent an hour with a woman named Lisa on Monday. Lisa ripped every hair from my most tender areas with hot wax.
I know there’s a lot of you out there who have wanted to do this.
I haven’t even “used” it yet but I can already tell you to go do it.
Your clothes fit better.
Yes, it hurts.
And it involves some yoga type poses to get to all the, ahem, crannies.
I’m pretty sure I was more modest in the throes of childbirth.
Also, if your waxer uses hard wax you’ll need to know there will be a moment where it feels as though your, well, you know, is being sealed shut with a wax chastity seal.
It hurts so good.
I made a friend go with me and do it at the same time.
She’s test driven hers.
It will make watching all those movies much more comfortable.
Movies are always better when your jammies fit well.