We had been married about two years.

We had been given “Free Meal” certificates to a local Mexican restaurant.

We had two.

Not “Buy One Get One Free” but “Free Meal.”

But there was fine print:

Limit one per table.

After the server told us this, my husband piped up,

“What if we sit at different tables?”

Oh yes he did.

And yes we did.

Separate tables for the duration of our meals.

This was the night I realized I may very well be married to the CHEAPEST man alive, and it is the night he learned that cheapness doesn’t get you laid.

In fact all it really gets you is a lividly pissed off wife.

And who wants one of those?

***UPDATED 2/28/2008***

Did you get here from StumbleUpon? Yes? Well hey, how are you? If you’re thinking I’m some sort of two bit whore you’d be sorely mistaken. This was written with sarcasm, unfortunately first time readers (especially you men) who don’t know that I regularly employ sarcasm and don’t know that I joke on a regular (healthy) basis with my husband don’t see this as the funny little story it was meant to be. I adore my husbandand he adores me no matter how much money is or isn’t spent. We ordered, received and ate our food from different tables, then moved and sat with each other for dessert and never went back to the restaurant mentioned. So there is no need to call me a floozy, whore, tramp or bitch. Thank you very much. xoxo-Casey

*****

Comments

  1. “Cheapness doesn’t get you laid” LOL
    I thought they taught them that in dating school.

    On the bright side…there were no dirty dishes.

    Laura’s last blog post..Pep-talk

  2. Oh wow that’s awful.

    Reese’s last blog post..Sleep

  3. Your husband and my husband?

    Would be fast friends.

    Angella’s last blog post..New Moon(s)

  4. Okay, I nearly peed, a little.
    My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t look at the price tags of ANYTHING he buys and has several ties in his wardrobe that cost more than some of my whole outfits.
    No kidding.
    At least he’s not cheap. Unfortunately, this means we’ll be poor forever…

  5. Classic man. He wants to solve the problem just for the sake of solving it. He thinks that a free meal is more important that sitting next to his wife…

    Barb’s last blog post..President Hinckley

  6. Ah, yes, but really, who wants to do it with a man who just ate mexican food? I’m just sayin’…

    fiveberries’s last blog post..pooped.

  7. Phunee.

    Kimmie’s last blog post..CAUGHT!

  8. So I started BUSTING out laughing at this right.. so I felt the need to read it to my husband who was in the same room. I was reading to him and donkey-laughing so much while reading that it thoroughly pissed him off and he snapped at me.

    thank you.

  9. Holy cow! That worked? I guess he found out the price of free.

    Lynne’s last blog post..Paging My Brain…

  10. Haha…that’s great.

    seven’s last blog post..My Interview With Marriage-101

  11. Could have been worse, you could have been taken to McDonalds with a free small fry coupon.

  12. Were you at least close enough to have a conversation, or did you have to yell across the restaurant?

    Amy’s last blog post..Don’t Pinch Me Yet

  13. Hmmm…I’m with him on this one. Gotta stick to the budget. I’m guessing the coupons didn’t apply to carry-out?

  14. wait. how did MY husband end up in your story????

    janet’s last blog post..Bite me

  15. Too funny!

  16. hahahaha! I think my husband might be in the running with yours, though he has never tried to pull that one! Thankfully, as he would then have to learn the exact same lesson as yours (up to this point, his little, ahem, quirks have been fairly cute and endearing. But that? Would just piss me off!)

    Z’s last blog post..Marriage Assvice

  17. So your house is where my husband disappears to! That is horrible Casey but so funny, only because I can vividly see Spouse doing that to ME!

  18. Oh man, I’m so afraid that I would do the same thing. The cheapness – it plagues me.

    janssen’s last blog post..The Real Reason You All Read My Blog

  19. OH.MY.GOD!!!

    That IS cheap!! *eeps* I would have been livid too!! Yeah, no lovin’s for the guy that does that. Being frugal is fine…dissing your wife for a free meal….not so much.

    Sadie’s last blog post..Terminology Tuesday…

  20. See now, that would do it for me. Saving money is HOT!

  21. That is awesome. I think I would be in awe of my husband’s cleverness. I am the cheap on in the family.

    Megan’s last blog post..All My Hopes and Dreams, Crushed… In 30 seconds.

  22. possible solution when (not if) this happens again.

    take his coupon.

    tell him to leave.

    and get his own meal.

    and enjoy your free on in peace.

    tatiana’s last blog post..scholastic update

  23. Oh dear God. He would get along famously with my husband. My husband has shown me an internet article about how to make your own juice boxes because it’s cheaper. He hangs laundry all over our deck (not mine – his) for all the neighborhood to see so as not to run the dryer in the summer. He complains if I put salt on the grocery list before we are officially out of salt.

    (He’s getting better with age…)

    I gave you an award today.

    Amy’s last blog post..Gee Whiz, You Shouldn’t Have!

  24. I think it shows amazing restraint that you didn’t physically harm him. I don’t know that I’m that strong.

    Nic’s last blog post..Blech dreams.

  25. NO WAY! I can’t believe that!

    Your husband and my friend would get along great. She doesn’t tip waiters… EVER! I don’t go out with her anymore- it is too humiliating.

  26. That is freaking hilarious. But I can’t believe you played along!

  27. Oh my gosh, I laughed so hard.

  28. At least it wasn’t Valentine’s Day! He better really make this up to you then!

    Adrienne’s last blog post..Hello

  29. HILARIOUS

    Skye’s last blog post..So sad..

  30. I’m sorry, but HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

    Dude.

    Seriously? Seriously??

    I feel your pain.

    Loralee’s last blog post..The very last you will hear about it (I promise!)

  31. you are a better woman than i. our night might have ended in a lovely little divorce. ahahaha.

    ali’s last blog post..they are all like me…totally quirk-filled (i. love. it.)

  32. Hahahaha! That is an absolutely fantastic story! love it!

    xox

    heidikins’s last blog post..Combating Winter Blah’s with Bleach

  33. Hah! Now that takes cajones.

    Your story sounds like something my in-laws would do, to be honest. Thankfully, my wife has grown out of the “must save money at the expense of everything else” mode. We still have dozens of cans of tomato paste from Sam’s in our pantry, even if we’ve never used it for cooking before.

    Thomas Stromberg’s last blog post..Pay It Forward Progress

  34. okay.

    i can’t stop laughing.

    has he learned?

    erin’s last blog post..pt update and other stuff.

  35. After two years of marriage, love is still in the air. After five and a kid, I’d almost prefer separate tables!

    Laural’s last blog post..Sibling Anxiety

  36. And I thought I had the most frugal spouse…guess not!
    Thanks for the laugh today. Yeah, I would have been pissed too!!

    LifeAsIKnowIt’s last blog post..On Strike

  37. awww poor you, I say you go “Okay then you owe me a meal TOGETHER” then he will learn that it will just cost him more in the end.

    PS dont hate the preggers

    Liam’s last blog post..This week

  38. and when he’s a bigshot lawyer and you’re bathing in money, remind him of this when he gripes about your latest investment in something fabulous :-)

    Biddy’s last blog post..i owe, i owe, it’s back to work i go

  39. Ah seriously?

  40. I know my husband would totally considerate that option.

    andrea’s last blog post..Why I Am a Geek – Reason 429

  41. That has got to be the funniest thing ever!

    My husband would probably add a “stein” or “berg” to the end of your last name – but he does that sort of thing since he is a ”
    berg!” If you catch my drift!

  42. Mr. law school needs to read the fine print first, before he commits to the deal!

    Meal: free
    Anger seething from wife: priceless

    Wendy’s last blog post..Learn-A-Word Wednesday: gnomic NOH-mik

  43. I love your blog. Your keep me entertained with your accurate outlook on life and all it has to offer.

    I just wanted to tell you I am the wife of a Law student too (we actually used to live in Indy too, my husband did his first year of Law school at IU Indy with Jon S and Tom D, but we transferred to BYU to save money) and it does suck at times!!

  44. Is it wrong that I laughed and did a silent cheer for Cody for beating (or is that “working”) the system. Sorry, Case.

    Worker Mommy’s last blog post..Is 4 too young to have the Talk ?

  45. I just love your blog

    Bethany’s last blog post..While You Were Out

  46. I suppose since the dinner was free, he could forgo the sweetness of dessert.

    LOL.

    Redneck Mommy’s last blog post..Worms out of the Woodwork

  47. (I’ve lurked on your blog for awhile. This was just the post to get me to comment!) Funny…when I got to your conclusion, I was thinking “I wouldn’t have been mad at ALL.” I would have sat by myself and read my book while I ate, occasionally looking up to wave at the DH. Peace, relative quiet, free meal. Perfect night!!! ;)

    Amy Sorensen’s last blog post..Book Note: Miss Spitfire

  48. (I’ve lurked on your blog for awhile. This was just the post to get me to comment!) Funny…when I got to your conclusion, I was thinking “I wouldn’t have been mad at ALL.” I would have sat by myself and read my book while I ate, occasionally looking up to wave at the DH. Peace, relative quiet, free meal. Perfect night!!! ;)

  49. A man of rare wisdom; not only were both dinners free, but there was a delicious lack of conversation.

    Given the normal course of events when married couples converse, he stood little chance of getting laid anyways.

    LOL!

    jonolan’s last blog post..Adsense Optimization

  50. Did the two separate tables come with a couple of megaphones? Sexy.

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