moosh in indy.

I will NOT let depression win. Or Craig.

February 18, 2008

Ah sweet succulent depression, how I loathe thee. How I wish you would just curl up and die while ceasing to exist in all corners of my life. I’ve had enough of you. You exhaust me.

I was hoping it was anything but you. I’ve been finding excuses for weeks. The weather, me being sick, Cody being gone, the stubbornness of my resident three year old, my period. But all those things came and went and I was still left feeling like a sack of beaten potatoes.

So I got help. It wasn’t easy getting help with the fear that they would keep me in the back of my mind. I came awfully close to what could only be called a panic attack when I saw the locked door next to the Psychiatric Intervention Unit. They promised they wouldn’t keep me, and I agreed to a new medication and regular counseling.

I know too many people who think depression is a cop out, a choice, an excuse or a justification for laziness. I know because I used to be one of those people.

For me, depression is a real, live, all consuming monster that would gladly eat me alive if I let it. But I refuse to let it. I am going to kick depression’s black inky rear. I am not going to let it define me, I am not going to let it win. I have too many things to fight for, to live for.

So if you’ll please excuse me, I’m going to be putting myself back together for a bit. Thankfully Craig over at Puntabulous has a tasty bit of the me I’m trying to put back together.

So please, don’t dwell here, I’ll be fine, really. Head on over to Puntabulous and show that little Star Wars geek that I am the true queen of all things baked and cream filled.

Because here at moosh in indy, I’m all about focusing on the good, and taking down any brownie loving fruits in my way.

Comments off.

I’m tired of people who think depression is not real or just a cop-out. Just because it’s “all in your head” doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have real life effects.

Good luck, Casy; we’re all rooting for you!

(also? those cookies look delicious)

Janssen’s last blog post..Love

I wish people could realize how much depression can rob you of yourself. I suffer the same as you, a lot and more and more each day.

I am too rooting for you. And will root more if you share your cookies.

Hang in there, we’re behind you all the way.

Anna from Hank and WIllie’s last blog post..Food Friday: Merepoint Banana Bread

Oh, sweetie. Good for you for being so brave and going for help.

xoxo

Angella’s last blog post..Too Many Moments

I’ve been worried about the lack of posting for the last few days.

And I am right there with you. The monster got me this weekend too. Still trying to pull myself out of the black abyss.

Here’s hoping the help you’re getting brings you back to us soon.

Cookies rock!

Antonette’s last blog post..Beautiful Memories

Oh my gah! I’m so excited. I love his guest debates. I’m going over there right now to experience your brilliance. I hope you kicked his butt and that it brightened your spirits a bit. May you be on your way to healing soon, my friend.
xoxo

andi’s last blog post..Valentine’s schmalentines

As the wife of a person with depression I would never-ever call it a cop out. It is real and it’s painful. So bless you and all of your struggles.

And as for the debate…it was wonderfully HI-larious!! You won, hands down!!

Sadie’s last blog post..Winners!!

My thoughts are with you. It’s crappy. And you’re doing the right thing to get help.

erin’s last blog post..“Life’s not fair”

I was wondering where you were and missing your posts – I’m glad you’re doing something to help yourself.

I actually saw Craig’s site before yours this morning, and all the two of you managed to do was make me want cookies AND brownies! Thanks a lot! =)

I’m here from Craig’s. Great job with the debate!

Avitable’s last blog post..Days of Blunder

Sending you nothing but best wishes. And cookies, if I could.

Melanie at Beanpaste’s last blog post..Day 17: Swinger

Hang in there! Depression SUCKS! But, you ROCK!

Kim’s last blog post..Ain’t She Sweet?

I was worried all weekend about you wondering what was going on, why you weren’t posting? i was hoping you were on vacation or something happy, but alas i was wrong! I am so sorry, depression does suck! I hope you do feel better, and this new medication works for you!

Krista’s last blog post..Funny Video

Good job for being strong enough to ask for help. It is a big ugly black monster isn’t it…wishing you gobs and gobs of good thoughts.

Britt’s last blog post..lost and found

I read your puntabulous debate this morning and giggled.
Cookies all the way love!
Being strong and recognizing it is the first and one of the biggest hurdles.
Hugs.

rachel’s last blog post..A good tongue lashing

Asking for help is scary but you are stronger for it. We’re rooting for you!

Must be Motherhood’s last blog post..Whirlwind Weekend

Hang in there sweets. I know. I really know.

Let me know if you need to vent.

MammaLoves’s last blog post..The Breakfast Club All Day Long

You will conquer this, seeking help shows true strength. God bless

Lynne’s last blog post..Finally Free?

Hang in there girlie! I am well aquainted with the Big, Black, Monster of Suck that is depression. Thoughts and prayers to you hon.

NotAMeanGirl’s last blog post..We’re Talkin’ ‘Bout A Revolution…

I hope things get better for you soon. I wish you the best…

Good for you, I applaud you for going to get help…so many people never do that and the results are damaging to those who love them!
Take all the time you need, we will still be here to read your fabulous blog when you are ready to post again!

Kathryn Scheibmeir’s last blog post..Leading Literary Men

I’m bi-polar, and while I truly thank God that the depression side has not been too bad for several years, now, the manic side is getting worse. It’s like stepping outside myself and watching me turn into a screaming raging bitch without being able to do a thing about it. Both sides suck big time. Lots of love to you, and I hope the help you asked for will be enough. If you want awesome new cookie or brownie recipes, just ask.

People who say depression is a cop out are copping out themselves. They don’t want to understand the person or his/her struggles.
You will beat this…think of it as an egg that needs a good beating!
Your cookies totally trump brownies!
Love your blog!

Good job over at Puntabulous. I’m torn and really couldn’t decide who I agreed with more. But you got another reader, so I guess you win.

i’ll send off those wunderbars ahead of schedule.

Hey

I think its awesome that you post about it, alot of people are scared to get help and they should. I suffer from slight depression, it was worse when I was a raging alcoholic teen, but I for the most part have it under control.

I have a question for you. My husband has been on pretty much every medication avaivlbe for depression and nothing seems to help him. Right now he is having an EXTREMELY hard time with it, not getting out of bed, not eatting (which isn’t like him at all), wants to go to church but litterally can’t get out of bed, he wants to quit school, he sleeps all day, i could go on and on. I need help to help support him, we are looking into getting him consouling but with our no money its getting hard to get have money for food and such, Do you have any ideas/ suggestions that I could try to do to help him, or should we leave it to the professionals?

You know my e-mail, please e-mail me, I have never told anyone about my husbands problems so keep it on the DL

My spidey-sense just knew this was where you were.

Seems we’ve caught the same bug, see this:

http://sallysirmans.blogspot.com/2008/02/it-cant-all-be-witty-banter.html

Just keep breathing…..

Sally’s last blog post..I. NEED. COMMENTS.

Good for you for blogging. It is so easy to give in and give up. Been there. Your fighting for yourself and I admire you.

Bethany’s last blog post..I Think Someone’s Been Tinkering With My Computer, But I’m Not Sure Who…

Hope you feel better soon.

Would that my mother had taken your approach several years ago…

Anth’s last blog post..Baby E

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I’m wondering, to prove that Cookies are better than brownies, would you be willing to post your BEST cookie recipe on Linoleum Dynamite?

Amy’s last blog post..Preparing for 100

I have never physicaly met you but this post made me feel kindred to you!!! *sigh* Thank you for posting this today. I love how you expressed it. I think if my TROLL disappeared half of my insanity would become extinct. What did u agree to take? Let me know and how it works, please. I need to go to a doc and get a workup done! Just paralyzed and postponing it. Thank you again and may you be blessed for your efforts and desire to feel better! )))SQUEEZE((( Love the picture.
BTW- Cause of you I decided to start posting my feelings. Not because I needed other to through pitty parties for me but for the reality of it all and to get it out and make me feel better. Can only fake it for so long. Take Care Lady

Carlzbad’s last blog post..Valentines Day and Thoughts

Good Luck Casey, and best wishes too! I too have battled depression for many years, and it is very tough. Stay strong, and big hugs to you!

Nicole’s last blog post..Nico’s Daily To Do’s

It’s real.

And honey, good luck. We’ll be praying for you over at my house.

Isabel’s last blog post..In which I take one for the team

Oh hon…

Try the mint Oreos. They’re really good for depression. Don’t ask me how I know, I just do.

Chicky Chicky Baby’s last blog post..Labor part 4 – The longest two hours of my life.

I adore you more than brownies.

Craig’s last blog post..Puntabulous Guest Debate

I’ve been worrying about you too…fears confirmed now. Just hang in there, and do one day at a time. That’s what gets ME through it. A month ago I knew I was going down, but I survived it…things are much better. You will too…you’re also a survivor.

I’ll put your name on the you-know-what at the you-know-where.

Every little bit helps.

Linda in Canada (a new fan).

Good luck putting yourself back together – and making some awesome cookies (or arguments for why cookies rock!) while you’re doing so…

Z’s last blog post..Random Beauty: Santa Fe Art

We’re rooting for you!!

Brie’s last blog post..Busy Brie

Be well!

Nola’s last blog post..Sloughing Off The Death

Focus away darling.

I’ve needed a mental health space too, to deal with my own demons.

I’ve got big shoulders if you need a friend.

Redneck Mommy’s last blog post..Don’t Blink

Those people who think depression is an indulgence, a cop out or a choice include my mother and my husband, which is just fantastic as I sit and ponder the best way to remove my brain from my skull.

Hang in there, Casey. I’m glad you’re getting help.

Major Bedhead’s last blog post..For Your Viewing Pleasure

You kick ass, my friend. Few understand the cajones it took to seek that help with the fear of being “Kept”.

You are the best, ever.

P.S.
Unscrew the tops and stick two Oeros together to make “Quadrastuffed”.

Kicks the crap out of a casserole and not to be eaten lightly. (I figured it’s an emergency, so it’s ok!)

Loralee’s last blog post..Sideblog:Peep of the Week

Oh, babe. Right there with you. Drugs rock. (And of course you know I mean the legally prescribed anti-depressant kind.)

I’ll be here waiting and if you ever need to talk…. Or just lurk around…. Or moan about being married to a lawyer….

Love you babe.

xoxo

Lawyer Mama’s last blog post..The Electric Kool-Aid Effexor Trip

Thank you for expressing the darkness of depression so wonderfully. You’ve reminded me that depression does not define me and will not consume me.

Your posts remind me that I’m not the only one who has ever felt these things. You’re in my thoughts and I wish you light at the end of your tunnel.

Steph’s last blog post..Pregnant Belly

Looks like we’re all pulling for you, myself included.

Camille’s last blog post..No, I Won’t. Please Stop Asking.

Love you! Hugs, kisses. Kick that depression in the butt! I wish it weren’t so hard! At least you’re up and looking fabulous! Your hair looks OUTSTANDING! I’d still be in bed, in pj’s, looking hideous! Just ask Jesse! Hate depression!

Loves!

I haven’t had nearly the experience you’ve had and it still terrifies me to think about letting someone ‘in’ my head. You brave woman, you.

Butrfly Garden’s last blog post..Weddingy Goodness

Best wishes to you Casey, I am saying prayers for you. You are incredibly brave to share this part of your life.

i was recently told by my dr. that i probably have PPD, after she heard my complaints. She said she could give me meds to help. My first thought was NO WAY I don’t need meds, I need to suck it up and get happy. I am someone who felt it was a cop out as well. I am realizing I need to get over that and FAST. Calling my doc now and seeing what the next step is.

feener’s last blog post..Vday – feels more like a regular day

Heal, and feel lighter, and we’ll see you soon!

Marie Green’s last blog post..Just Wondering

Kicking butts and taking names!

Clink’s last blog post..This Morning…

Fifty comments. Good grief. You sure don’t need mine, but I wanted you to know how much I needed to read this today.

Kimberly’s last blog post..That? Crossed a Line.

A sugar crash can’t be good for depression….oh wait until you are in your 40’s…and the hormones go even more wacky….and you need your tweezers and magnified mirror…”nurture strength of spirit to shield you in times of misfortune…” whatever it takes….I found joinig the Y and taking exercise classes helped…it only took 4 months to be able to leave my three year old for 15, 20, 25, 30 min…etc. intervals…but the tiredness…still persistent…not as persistent as the damn wiskers…UGH!!! Be Well.

I hope you doing better soon Casey. I feel for ya. Your road is a hard one.

Now with the brownies vs cookies….I’m totally with ya. I love cookies! Brownies aren’t even in my top 5 desserts.

ashlee’s last blog post..My Valentine!

GO outside everyday! Make sure you take a shower everyday! Do not give in. You are strong and you are loved.

BTW cookies rule!

Adrienne’s last blog post..40

Glad to see you are posted again. It has helped reading the comments, I have needed to hear them. I don’t have any wisdom except, I just need to get off my butt and out of the house. Maybe tomorrow!

I see an uncanny resemblance to the Moosh’s ice cream picture in this photo.

Oh and yes

Kick depressions ASS!!

Worker Mommy’s last blog post..Hi! …or should I say “High”

Take care of yourself! You are one of my new favorite reads and will miss you. But your well being is more important!

Mitch’s last blog post..Sand Angels

I was worried about you… glad you are ok and feeling better. Drugs are Good, Mmmkay! I take my Lexapro faithfully every day.

Reese’s last blog post..A Rose By Any Other Name Would Be Confusing.

XOXO

Hope you’re feeling better soon. I look forward to your posts!

P.S. If I lived in your time zone I’d take moosh off your hands for a couple hours and then you could play the wii all by yourself. That would make anyone happier!

Good luck, Casey. It must have been really scary to go for help. I wish you strength as you start your recovery.

mimi’s last blog post..Vignettes

Love your blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is so honest and refreshing!

thanks so much for sharing, you can do it my friend and are never alone.

I’m with ya on getting help. My husband always says, “better living through chemistry”, but he works for a drug company so I’m not so sure….

anyway, you got to find what works for you, and never stop looking!

emily’s last blog post..just breath…

I tried to bring you some amazing Triple Chocolate Cookies on Sunday…and no one was home (better than brownies…if I do say so myself). It doesn’t mean much when it’s three days later, and you never got the cookies….but doesn’t the thought count for anything?! Chocolate is always good for making me feel better…and I’d have tried harder if I knew how much you needed chocolate. Hang in there….and if you ever need/want to vent/cry/chat/scream to someone next to a stranger….feel free to call me. Serious.

it must be the time of year cause my depression is trying to kick my ass too.

BIG HUG!

what did they put you on? i think it might be time for a change in mine…

Biddy’s last blog post..there is NO way this can be true

I feel like an addict to your blog. I have to check it everytime I sit down at the computer to see if you have a new post! Yep. I’m a dork like that.

You write so beautifully it seems as if I actually know you in real life so I’m praying for strength for you so that you will be able to put one foot in front of the other as you fight this nasty thing.

Kriddle McG’s last blog post..Playing Hooky

Poo

That always makes me smile.

I hope the sun comes out in your heart soon! I miss your funny little ditties.

Amy C’s last blog post..How Convenient

Good luck Casey! {{{{{{{[[hugs}}}}}}}}}}

kris’s last blog post..Is not Calno as Carchemish?

I’ve been out of commission the last few days. I had no idea you were struggling so badly. I am so sorry I wasn’t there for you! I am glad that you got some help, it is good that you recognized that you needed it! Kiss, kiss, hug, hug…here’s hoping to better days. LOVE!

Kimmie’s last blog post..A Baby Story

That last picture made me hungry.

I really enjoyed your guest post today!

Can I ask how you knew that you were depressed? I think I may be struggling with it, but I am not very familiar with it. I took a “depression quiz” on a reputable website and got 7 out of 9 … that was my firt clue.

Mrs. Wilson’s last blog post..It’s Grace, my friend

I am new here but wanted to comment and let you know that I hear you loud and clear. I have suffered from depression and clawed my way out of that dark deep hole several times.
Wishing you the best!

OMG Casey…I added you to my google reader and this article (the last 10 always come up) showed up and at first I thought you might just be joking about a minor setback…I see that is not true.

*gulp* I, too, have clicnical depression and this is the first time I am going to post this publicly. Less than one month ago, I admitted myself into a “behavioral” hospital. I was there for 4 days and on suicide watch for 2 of them. It was the best thing I have ever done and the hardest.

Every day is still a struggle and yet, since I’ve been gotten the help I needed I’ve had so many miracles come into my life.

Thank you for being so brave. And thanks in advance to your readers for not judging me for what I just wrote in “public” for the first time EVER.

Blessings,
D

Darla’s last blog post..Two hours behind….

[...] Depression is back. I can’t tread these waters anymore. The me you know will be gone for a while. [...]

[...] my brain functions at 78 degrees? Or 85 degrees if a swimming pool is nearby? Way better. The last time I was blindsided by depression was in February. Blah, icky, gloomy, stupid February. And I also have a confession to [...]

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