I am not blind to the fact that God made other men almost as handsome as He made Cody. It’s nature to look once, it’s unladylike to look twice.

So after I got my one and only look at the tall handsome soccer player type man with his dad at the Wal-Mart pharmacy I concocted a little story in my head and it goes something like this:

Him: Why hello. Those are lovely flip flops you have on there.

Me: Why thank you, and might I say that Stainmaster Carpet jacket you’re wearing really sets off your eyes wonderfully.

Him: And thank you, you sound like hell a bit under the weather, your lips are a little blue and your nearly shaking uncontrollably, is that what brings you to this lovely pharmacy this day?

Me: Why no actually that’s just some sickness and fever that started in the middle of the night. Thats sweet of you to notice. I’m actually here to pick up the pills that keep me from spiraling into the very depths of depression. You?

Him: Well, my dad has a history of violent outrages at pharmacies so I’m here to keep him under control. I figured since it was time I had my Herpes medication filled it was a quick easy stop on my lunch break.

Me: Mmm, lunch. Oh, well I forgot, my throat is nearly swollen shut with red blistery tonsils. Darn. Looks like it’s water for me!

Him: Well that doesn’t sound fun. Hey, I’m all done here, did you need any help with the rest of your shopping? You’re looking a tad bit faint.

Me: Well, actually I am feeling rather woozy. If you could go grab me some super period pads and tampons, some heavy duty cough drops that taste and smell like death and some of that prescription strength deodorant since I could easily sweat you under the table, I’d appreciate it.

I can’t decide if this is a better PSA for how awesome marriage is or for not allowing guys to pick you up at the pharmacy. Well, maybe guys picking you up at Wal-Mart in general? Or maybe I really should take a nap instead of post with a fever.

Hmmm…

Comments

  1. *lol* Who hasn’t concocted a fairy tale in their head?

    Then again, most of them don’t involve the guy getting you tampons and pads…so I’m gonna have to say…

    TAKE A NAP :P

    Sadie’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #12

  2. I’ve had nearly as tantalizing an imaginary conversation myself with a man who I would have found

    kristi’s last blog post..Apparently, I’m one of those moms that have to write down everything their kids say. Sorry ’bout that.

  3. I’ve had nearly as tantalizing an imaginary conversation with a mystery man myself. “My” guy complimented my flip flops too. We’ve been out of the dating game far too long…

    kristi’s last blog post..Apparently, I’m one of those moms that have to write down everything their kids say. Sorry ’bout that.

  4. I’m going to go with Pro-Marriage.

    Amy’s last blog post..There Is One Kind Of Shopping I Hate

  5. I’m surprised he’s not swooning at your feet after that last bit:)

    Mary Beth’s last blog post..Historical Reading Challenge – The Daughter of Time

  6. hahahaha! love this. and the Stainmaster Carpet jacket? an excellent touch ;)

    ali’s last blog post..be afraid. be very afraid.

  7. OK, so stupid guy question: why give fairytale-man herpes in your own fantasy?

    Well, not that you gave him the herpes, per se.

    You know what I mean, right?

    Um, I shouldn’t comment here, should I?

  8. Too funny! Marriage rocks.

    Kristin’s last blog post..I love Maine, really, I do! And other stuff too.

  9. ROFL!!! I have the achie flu too (fever, yukies). I got my work done for the day, fell into bed and said, can I die now?

    You always have a much better plan than I do….a fantasy….me? I’d just rather die on the spot.

    Darla’s last blog post..Our food budget….and our food room!

  10. Casey, you are just too cute.
    I too am a bit shaky, coughing and yucky. I love concocting stories in my head and they are soo much better when they’re added to by fevers.

    rachel’s last blog post..God Saw

  11. bossdj says:

    That’s funny. I also find myself in the married-one-look-rule predicament (which seems to happen to me more often in Target than Wal-Mart) and also have come to find that after acknowledging their aesthetically pleasing traits, to facilitate the will power to avoid second glances I tend to imagine them with various unpalatable traits such as STDs or large unseen growths…or merely the fact that they are not my own awesome wife!

    Get better soon!

  12. yeah. well. if they are foolish enough to walk within 20 ft of me without a shirt on AND they’ve got six-pack abs, the only one look rule goes out the window.

    here’s hoping you feel better soon. no more fantasizing about herpes infected dudes.

    no matter how hot they may be.

    m’kay?

    Antonette’s last blog post..Introducing Webster’s Dictionary 2008 Edition…

  13. yeah. well. if they are foolish enough to walk within 20 ft of me without a shirt on AND they’ve got six-pack abs, the only one look rule goes out the window.

    here’s hoping you feel better soon. no more fantasizing about herpes infected dudes.

    no matter how hot they may be.

    m’kay?

  14. A match made in heaven…or a fever induced head anyway.

    Get some rest, chick!!! ;)

    And feel better soon.

    Worker Mommy’s last blog post..Whatchoo want, baby I got it… A snack giveaway

  15. you had me at “StainMaster Carpet Jacket”

  16. I can’t help it, sometimes I look twice.

    Kimmie’s last blog post..Blessings

  17. tee hee

    dana’s last blog post..Breast and Bottle Feeding

  18. That sounds a lot like my real-life fairy tales [read: nightmares]. I ignore every human being at Wal-Mart, as a general practise. Screaming kids, idiot shoppers…everyone. (Well, I do tell the cashier “Thank you,” because it would be rude not to. But other than that…) It just works out better that way.

    Camille’s last blog post..Marriage Warning: Side Effects May Occur

  19. Poor thing! I hope you feel better soon!

    The fairy tale was inspiring though, maybe fever brings out the creative juices? Ha!

    calicobebop’s last blog post..Lost, Survivor and ANTM – In One Fell Swoop!

  20. Sounds like a blind date from hell.

    Heather’s last blog post..Tiger Woods We Ain’t

  21. Hilarious! I hope you feel better soon. Yes, this does beautifully illustrate how awesome it is to be married. Who else would hold your back while your sick or buy your womaly stuff in a pinch? Well, besides your mom and girlfriends. Husbands rock!

  22. Just de-lurking myself. I found your blog through Bossy and I have spent a better part of the week reading your entire archive…yes work is very slow. Thanks for keeping me entertained.

    Just Me’s last blog post..Under Construction…again

  23. You can’t be blamed; Wal-Mart is a pretty sexy joint.

    Melanie at Beanpaste’s last blog post..Special Roll Of Gummi And Twinkie With Spicy OCD