I am not blind to the fact that God made other men almost as handsome as He made Cody. It’s nature to look once, it’s unladylike to look twice.
So after I got my one and only look at the tall handsome soccer player type man with his dad at the Wal-Mart pharmacy I concocted a little story in my head and it goes something like this:
Him: Why hello. Those are lovely flip flops you have on there.
Me: Why thank you, and might I say that Stainmaster Carpet jacket you’re wearing really sets off your eyes wonderfully.
Him: And thank you, you sound
like hell a bit under the weather, your lips are a little blue and your nearly shaking uncontrollably, is that what brings you to this lovely pharmacy this day?
Me: Why no actually that’s just some sickness and fever that started in the middle of the night. Thats sweet of you to notice. I’m actually here to pick up the pills that keep me from spiraling into the very depths of depression. You?
Him: Well, my dad has a history of violent outrages at pharmacies so I’m here to keep him under control. I figured since it was time I had my Herpes medication filled it was a quick easy stop on my lunch break.
Me: Mmm, lunch. Oh, well I forgot, my throat is nearly swollen shut with red blistery tonsils. Darn. Looks like it’s water for me!
Him: Well that doesn’t sound fun. Hey, I’m all done here, did you need any help with the rest of your shopping? You’re looking a tad bit faint.
Me: Well, actually I am feeling rather woozy. If you could go grab me some super period pads and tampons, some heavy duty cough drops that taste and smell like death and some of that prescription strength deodorant since I could easily sweat you under the table, I’d appreciate it.
I can’t decide if this is a better PSA for how awesome marriage is or for not allowing guys to pick you up at the pharmacy. Well, maybe guys picking you up at Wal-Mart in general? Or maybe I really should take a nap instead of post with a fever.