Do you have any idea how much better my brain functions at 78 degrees? Or 85 degrees if a swimming pool is nearby? Way better. The last time I was blindsided by depression was in February. Blah, icky, gloomy, stupid February. And I also have a confession to make.
This last little bout?
Totally more or less my fault.
Someone forgot to call in her refill request. A week went by, constant thoughts of “OH I SHOULD GET THAT REFILLED” went through my head. But I always found something to distract me. Blah blah long story short I bottomed out awful quick and when I finally called in my refill request I was smacked down with a whole bunch of BS NO HEALTH INSURANCE BUREAUCRACY.
Side note.
Dear Cody,
If you take a job that doesn’t offer benefits you will be eating Spaghettios and rye bread until the day you die. I will make sure of it.
xo-Red
Apparently I needed to go back and have my level of crazy re-evaluated. I tried to explain to them that I felt fine, the medication that was prescribed to me last time was working wonders, I didn’t have any insurance coverage that would allow me to come back in at a price we could afford and IF THEY DIDN’T GIVE ME MORE I WOULD END UP BAT CRAP CRAZY SO GIVE ME THE DRUGS!
*ahem*
I guess in my current lucid condition I can see why they may have suggested a re-evaluation instead of handing over prescription medication.
Long story short. I’m not any more crazy than I was four months ago, or even four years ago. The meds stayed the same and I will be calling in refill requests a month in advance. I may even just stockpile them. Along with thousands of hand sanitizing wipes and packets of stolen Sweet & Low. And then I’ll get a bunch of cats and yell at kids who play on my lawn. I could easily become that lady.
In the meantime I am taking good care of myself. I am surrounded by lovely friends who also take good care of me. I have one that stands at my door and sings me songs at the top of her lungs, I have another one who offers copious amounts of cupcakes along with babysitting services, I have yet another one that promises to drag my sorry rear out to dinner and feed me until I can’t think let alone feel. I got dozens of sweet sweet emails, many with funny stories to take my mind of the garbage my brain was trying to pull over on me. I even have one friend who called just to make fun of me.
Thanks you guys.
I am in a wonderful place.
Short of baking my kid to a crisp today at the pool (seriously, has anyone ever heard of one kind of sunscreen negating another kind and actually inviting the burning rays of the sun to suck all life out of tender flesh? Because I swear that’s what happened.) I had a very good day.
I even took my first Pilates class. Yeah, you should be laughing.
Do they sell cores at Costco? I could really use one.
Blog-I am your faddah and yo muddah. For this I am sorry. All those dramatic “fatal error” messages you’ve been forced to give people? Sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing. But I’m not ashamed to beg ask for help. In the last twelve hours two people have been up in your business doing things I was unable to do on my own. Sorry if you feel violated, but you look so much better. And hopefully work so much better too. (Hey, if any of you get a fatal error message will you let me know? kthxbai)
Big juicy thank yous to Elizabeth and J. Maxfield for getting their code all up in my FTP. (blog humor. har.)
And now moosh-your dad is up in bed snoring and moaning like a severely wounded walrus. Today is Father’s Day and I just wanted to let you know, as someone who’s lived with your dad for seven years that the teasing and relentless obnoxiousness will likely never stop. It’s how he shows us that he loves us.
Seriously.
Your shrieks of horror and protest must be music to your dad’s ears or else he wouldn’t insist on pissing you off so often. He never had a brother. We have to forgive him for this. Guy just doesn’t know how to be surrounded by wimmin all the time. It’s made him a little crazy. Good news? Any brothers that you may have will pale in comparison to what your faddah dishes out.
There is a moment in your birth video where he reaches out and touches you really REALLY quick while the nurses are cleaning you off. He didn’t want to get in trouble. You can hear the nurses say “It’s okay dad, she’s yours, you can touch her all you want.” Later when he told me that he got to be the first! to! touch! you! was the first time I ever saw him weakened with the power a little girl holds over her daddy. He hasn’t recovered since. You are his world.
In another hour he will get up and start teasing us. And poking us. And annoying us. This is how boys show they like you. From kindergarten to high school to marriage. The more they pick on you the more smitten they are.
I think it would be impossible for daddy to be any more smitten with us.
We’re lucky ladies.
Happy Father’s Day dude.
