gos┬Ěsip

n.

1. Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature.
2. A person who habitually spreads intimate or private rumors or facts.
3. Trivial, chatty talk or writing.
4. A close friend or companion.
Where in the definition of gossip does it say “must be malicious and hurtful to qualify as gossip”? Yet when we hear the word gossip our ears are instantly perked with the hope of hearing that so and so has had a nose job, that girl over there sleeps with men for money or that guy likes to eat his toejam.
Gossip is even more fantastic when it’s about someone we know, especially if it’s someone we don’t like, or worse, envy.
Meh.
Gossip sucks.
Correction.
Catty, backstabbing, ruthless, mean, nosy gossip sucks. And it spreads like a toxic wildfire.
After seeing John and Jen at a little restaurant in Indy last week I was contacted by at least five fan sites and three major (MAJOR) news outlets looking for details. Imagine their disappointment when I told them they were eating food and looked genuinely happy doing it.
“Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature.”
Who said that rumors or talk of a personal, sensational or intimate nature need to be rude or mean to be interesting?
How often do we admire someone’s (sensational) outfit, humor, skin, hair, shoes, laugh or bone structure but never say anything to them? Instead we may say something to the person next to us, and chances are they will concur. They will in turn say something to someone else. The fact that the two or three of you think that girl over there in those cute red shoes is the bees knees will probably never reach her ears. It will stay between you and your friends because chances are you’d feel a little funny running up to a stranger proclaiming your love for her choice of footwear.
Shame really.
There’s a girl who lives just down the road from me that has a face that was formed by angels. She has cheekbones ANTM contestants would kill for. Everyone who knows her talks about them, and everyone agrees that she is strikingly beautiful, but as far as I know no one talks to her about them.
So I did.
“Hey did you know that at least a dozen different girls think you are beautiful?”
She blushed. She had no idea.
This is the kind of gossip we need to share. If you hear something said about someone else and you agree, why not share with the person being admired?
I know I’ve never gotten mad at anyone who gave me a compliment.
(And no, this is not a shameless attempt to get compliments.)
For example. I think Lotus from Sarcastic Mom is amazingly beautiful. In more ways than one obviously, but the girl just glows.
So there you go.
What about the best compliment you’ve ever received, maybe one you were never meant to hear? How did it make you feel?
Or is there something you admire about someone, yet you’ve never put it into words to them?
Go.
Do it.
I dare you.

Comments

  1. I completely agree. I wish positive gossip would spread as fast as negative gossip does.

    FernandoPRs last blog post..Paper Week: Direct Video Manipulation

  2. On my website I often get really gabby about how I FEEL about EVERYTHING and maybe that’s the whole point of the blog thing. But there have been no better compliments than when another parent of a child with cancer says something like “I thought I was the only one who felt that way” because I know that I let them know they’re not alone in it. Those might not be compliments exactly, but I take them as such and they make me feel like i’m doing something good, something purposeful.

    Thank you for your post, I’m going to make sure to leave some really good emails in mailboxes tonight.

    Anissa @ Hope4Peytons last blog post..Part 1 – The nightmare begins

  3. I used to try to compliment at least one person a day. Have totally gotten away from that. Thanks for the reminder to get back on the stick. How hard is it to say, “Ooh, I love your glasses!”?

    So I will start right here and now: Writing this post demonstrates that you’re fabulously cool and considerate of other people.

    Beths last blog post..‘Lars And The Real Girl’ …

  4. I heard once that if you think of a compliment (or anything nice), then you should share it with that person. I try really hard to do that, even though I’m super shy and insecure around new people. For example, when I spoke in church (I HATED every second of it… even though it was a short 10 minutes – the bishop spoke after my husband filled up all but 5 of the remaining minutes, awesome husband, yes?) there was a woman who was sitting front and center, who was listening and smiling and just all around comforting to me. I managed to talk myself into going up to her and thanking her for that, telling her how much it helped me.

    It’s easier around family to just say whatever I’m thinking (nice hair, pretty shirt, “you look skinny!” to someone trying to lose weight) but it’s so much harder when it’s someone you don’t really know, but it’s so nice to hear, so let someone hear it. (Please excuse the run-on sentence.)

    Erin Maries last blog post..It’s been one week since you looked at me

  5. What a great post.

    My best compliment was that I’ll be a good mother. In seven months I guess we’ll all find out, but it’s one I’ve never forgotten. I was given it in high school, ten years ago.

    She Likes Purples last blog post..What You Should Know About Me…

  6. we definitely should compliment people way more often than we do…i know i’m bad at it. but it’s nice to hear, even if it’s just telling someone her shoes are nice.

    the best compliment i ever got was just last week. one of my besties sent me an email, just out of the blue, telling me how amazing she thinks i am. it really touched me.

    alis last blog post..please come and sell me chocolate. i will buy a dozen.

  7. The best compliment I ever recieved was from my husband’s best friend. When I asked him why he wasn’t settling down yet, he said it was because he hadn’t found a girl enough like me. He went on to say it wasn’t that he loved me like that, but he saw how Happy my husband was, and how “cool” I am (apparently) and he wanted something more like that instead of all the biatches he dates. LOL!

    Jia@ColorMeUntypicals last blog post..Heeere Fishy Fishy Fishy

  8. Amen! Amen! Amen! You couldn’t have said it better or been more right!

  9. My MIL, much as I don’t like her, is really good about mentioning the sweet things my husband says about me to her.

    Alright, now I gotta go compliment someone.

  10. The best compliment I’ve ever recieved was from my aunt after crying (literally) about how much of a disaster my house is.
    She said, “Listen, you put your effort where it matters, into those little boys and it shows. You are a great mother and that’s what matters. Not how cluttered or dirty your house is. Who cares about that?”
    And then it never hurts when people tell me I look like Scarlett Johansson, either. :)

    Sarah @ Ordinary Dayss last blog post..Her Name Is Joan Allen By The Way

  11. I love giving compliments to random strangers! It’s nice to make someone’s day and it usually makes mine as well.

    Amandas last blog post..Doggy downers

  12. wow, just today someone complimented my eye color. i do not get many comments on my eyes. but every once in a while i do and it is soooo nice to hear.

    feeners last blog post..Mom Cards

  13. Compliments are great!
    Casey, your hair is some of the most beautiful hair I’ve ever had the pleasure of viewing. ;-)
    My husband’s grandma once reprimanded me for telling my daughter I thought she looked so beautiful in her new dress. She said, “You should NEVER compliment a child for how they look. It will make her conceited.” Um, wha HUH? Sorry, I totally disagree with that sentiment. Compliments make the world go round. Yay compliments!!!!

    Mandys last blog post..Haiku Friday – The Summer Love/Hate Edition

  14. In my junior year of high school, a friend mentioned to me that a group of girls in his math class would compliment me amongst themselves. I was extremely flattered, but perplexed as to why they never approached or spoke to me. People are oddly shy with compliments, myself included.

    With that in mind, I’m really impressed with how honest and open you are about your past and your struggles. It’s refreshing and relatable.

  15. Great post, Casey!

    One of the best compliments I’ve received was right after I was married. We had been away for a few months, and visited one of our pastors for breakfast. As we were getting ready to leave, he said, “Marriage looks good on you, kid.” It was honest and very sweet. And my husband just BEAMED!

    I will definitely compliment strangers, especially if the thing that catches my eye is something I’ve thought of recently (new glasses, gorgeous curls – “where DO you get your hair done,” etc).

    Ginnys last blog post..Soggy Fourth!

  16. I was dating this beautiful guy. Handsome, smart, funny, unfortunately not in love with me, but whatever… Anyway, we were talking about the space/time continuum, and I said something (wish I could remember what) and he said, “I hate talking to you! I think I understand something and you can see it from all of these different perspectives that I never would’ve thought of, and it makes me feel so stupid!”

    I still feel warm and fuzzy when I think of it, and he said it in 1995.

    Great post, by the way.

    Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

    Amys last blog post..What should I put in my diaper bag?

  17. great post, gossip of the uplifting kind can be for good, everyone loves a compliment.

    know what I love? When I’m out and about, doing errands and a stranger passes by compliments me in passing….like “great bag” or “I love your shoes”…but they do it as they walk by. They have no intentions of finding out where you got them or how much they cost…they just pay a quick compliment. Luv it!

    oh, I would seriously hurt someone to have curly hair like you.

    DesignHER Mommas last blog post..Do NOT ring mah’ bell…

  18. I’m gonna give you one because I never told you…

    I think you are amazingly gorgeous and are a very talented photographer.

    This post was great. As always…

    crookedeyebrows last blog post..Mate??

  19. Lisa in TX says:

    Hmm… a pair of great compliments;

    When my son was about nine months old, a friend told me he was so cute that he was the reason she had decided to have a second child.

    My husband and I were driving somewhere and I told him (just for) “You rock,” and he busted out laughing. Earlier in the day, one of his customers had told him “I bet your wife thinks you rock. She may not say it but she thinks it all the time.”

  20. I think I have a reputation for handing out compliments in my office, because all the women (and even some of the men) will make it a point to come by my office if they are wearing new clothes. I’ve been known to interrupt someone in the middle of a sentence to tell them how good their hair/glasses/boobs/dress looks.

    Just yesterday, three different people, all of whom I adore, told me apropos of nothing that they really enjoy my writing. Unsolicited compliments are always the best.

    Heathers last blog post..Elastic Eight

  21. My dad recently said that our yard and garden was “very Amy” and I thought that was a wonderful compliment.

    The Tomato Ladys last blog post..A match made in heaven.

  22. Girls can go around telling each other they are beautiful. Dudes can’t. Maybe we could just compliment each other on our trucks or something?

    Mikes last blog post..Sick Watch: Day 2

  23. The best compliment I ever received was from a man in a full body cast. I was in high school and I was a hostess at the hospital, and when I brought his dinner tray in he told me I had a beautiful smile. That meant the world to me because 1)this guy was in such a painful and uncomfortable situation that I couldn’t believe he took time to say something uplifting to me and 2)I had crooked teeth that I was so self-concious of at the time. My parents didn’t have the money to get me braces so I hid my smile to the point that many people thought I was mean because I never smiled.
    That was over 10 years ago and I’m still happy every time I think of it.

    Sheyennes last blog post..Tooth fairy Plan B

  24. Amen. I agree 100%

    Can you imagine if everyone else agreed with us too?

    OHmommys last blog post..I can’t always control the conversation…

  25. Why is it that it seems hard to say something nice… maybe we should all remember that old saying “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”. I guess it would apply nicely here!

    Kristas last blog post..200 Random Posts

  26. You know? I love this post? Know why? ‘Cause I do this ALL THE TIME. Not the gossiping part…but I honestly and sincerely compliment people all the time. I do it because I know how good it makes me feel. I compliment from outfits to makeup to hair…to shoes…anything. On elevators, standing in line at the grocery store…at the dentist office. It makes ME feel good. I love how it make others feel good. Thanks for the reminder. Loves and hugs…you are one stunning lady and I would kill for your hair.

    Kimmies last blog post..Dear Mr. Scale:

  27. I love this post!

    When I was 16 and worked at a grocery store as a bag girl, a lady that I always thought hated me told me that she loved to looked at me because my giant brown eyes reminded her of her daughter. I like to remember this, because it reminds me that people have people have different ways of showing their feelings – she liked me just fine, she just didn’t know how to show me. Until this point.

    Rhis last blog post..Friday Bullets! Almost BlogHer edition!

  28. i love to compliment complete strangers on their glasses, shoes, cute kids, etc. i’ve been given compliments on my singing voice and it’s a hard one to get. one the one hand, i want to recognize the compliment and say thank you, but don’t want to seem like i expect it b/c i don’t. i like to sing, but don’t listen to myself. that was the hardest thing to do in college where i studied music.

    mommymaes last blog post..new pic up top

  29. Once a FedEx guy said I had amazing eyes while buying coffee at Circle K. He wasn’t hitting on me, just being nice. Three years later, I still remember what he was wearing. ;)

    Good reminder!

    kristis last blog post..Best (and worst) sign ever

  30. Okay, I’m going to send my husband to this post right away.

    All Adithers last blog post..10 Reasons to stop reading Perez Hilton

  31. I always worry that I come across as kind of creepy when I compliment strangers, but it doesn’t stop me.

    And I LOVE it when people rave about my little boy. Babies seem to be the excuse people need to break the ice in the target or grocery store.

    EMamas last blog post..Dreams Come True in North Carolina

  32. Amy in StL says:

    I always try to compliment someone if I admire something. I’m sure that means half the ladies in our building thing I’m secretly (secretly because I’m dating a guy here in the building) a lesbian, but whatever. I always try to tell girls when they’re having a good hair day, or a skirt is flattering or a color is good on them. I figure we don’t always realize those things about ourselves, so it would be nice if someone told us.

  33. Well, don’t I feel like a **** for not reading here lately?

    Also, it’s ironic that just a few days ago, I was telling this lovely woman, Miss Britt, that I think SHE is beautiful. And that I was telling her that because I tend to automatically mention negative things to others, so I try to make a conscious effort to mention positive things, to achieve some sort of balance, at least.

    So, of course, I totally agree with this beautifully written post’s sentiment. And I’m humbled and flattered by your immense compliment. You’re kinda incredibly beautiful yourself, Casey.

    FYI: The person who finally told me about this on Twitter was Mandy @ http://derekandmandy.wordpress.com/ :-)

    Sarcastic Moms last blog post..PSBN Update

  34. Ok, you totally rock! I’m so impressed you shared that info with your beautiful friend. Good for you! Let’s work on female solidarity, not female maliciousness!

    Rheas last blog post..Overheard

  35. I was 12. Awkward, gangling, had a horrendous haircut and could of stood to lose a few pounds. Like all 12 year old little girls, I was very self-conscious. I was well-liked but not in the “popular” group. Ryan, the dreamiest and coolest guy in the seventh grade commented to me one day, “you’re going to be absolutely gorgeous in a few years”. Some could have taken this badly, “am I chopped liver now?” No way, not me. I was flabbergasted. And thrilled beyond belief. As superficial as it may have been, that moment has always stuck with me, because someone was seeing something in me many others could not.

    Susans last blog post..I’ll throw down with the best of them

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