So every parent tells other people the funny things that their kids say. Well, at least it’s funny to them. Or the people who know the kid really well. Or people who are easily amused by “kids say the darndest things” type conversations.
I am not one of those people. Yet here I am, with “the moosh says the darndest things.”
- “MOM! There’s the biggest most awesomest toasty golden brown bug outside the window.” (Yes, toasty golden brown, like toast, or cheese, or cheese on toast. I know.)
- (insert the moosh getting into serious trouble in public place)
***sobbing***”I WANT MY MOM.”***sobbing***
“I am your mom”
*blank stare from the moosh*
She buries her face in a chair and sobs even harder.
- “Hey, can we get a baby brother while we’re here?” (said in the textiles aisle of TJ Maxx.)
- “YOU DON’T HAVE ANY OPTIONS!” the moosh’s closing line to an argument with a fellow three year old.
- “Stop doing the lawn!” Said to the landscapers outside our window.
This afternoon I woke up from a little snoozer to this:
And the moosh screaming this:
There’s one thing no one ever tells you about parenting. You never get to be the “cool” character. You always have to be the witch or the evil stepmother or the ugly stepsister or the horse. What I wouldn’t give to play Cinderella one last time. (Dude, I’m not even allowed to like Cinderella because Cinderella IS HER FAVORITE.)
My life is rarely ever boring.
Especially now that I know that little black square up there is a webcam. Who knew?