The scene: Right outside a local Greek restaurant full of flaming cheese, pita bread and meat pie. Me, in my car with small child shrieking from backseat. Her, a middle aged poufed up smoker with fake black hair and too high of heels for her center of balance. She gets into her new shiny black Range Rover with her two froofed up sidekicks, TooBlonde and SpandexQueen.

Before closing her door she throws (THROWS!) her half full convenience store soda cup INTO the parking lot.

I threw my car into park.

Disgusted.

I am in no way crunchy, well, maybe three ways crunchy, but REGARDLESS! You don’t throw your garbage ON THE GROUND!

My first reaction? Tear out of my car and throw that soda back into her half open cigarette hanging window. Whew, it would have felt gooood.

(Cody’s mentioned something about controlling my rage…hmm…well. Anyway.)

Second reaction? Get out of my car and pick it up myself. With a big HUMPH! and a dramatic twirl back to my car.

However, I did nothing. Dummy, pansy, dummyhead. Driving away I thought through all the things that could have happened along with the fact that I’m a dummy pansy dummyhead. And then it hit me:

Third reaction, get out of the car, pick the cup up and (nicely) say “Excuse me? Ma’am? You dropped your drink!” then she would either have to suck it up and take it back or deal with some serious karma if she laughed in my face.

What would you have done? And why is it that the best comebacks come two minutes after you needed them?

If nothing else send the litterer lady bad BAAAD juju’s.

Comments

  1. um, am i completely out of it? what is crunchy?

    i hate when people do lazy, inconsiderate things that aren’t all that difficult: eg, returning shopping carts or using a trash can. but i am too slow with the wit to attack them.
    btw, i usually unload the groceries, then return the cart to the corral with the kid in it, carrying the kid back to the car.
    also love the commercial with the trash sculpture.

    megachicks last blog post..camp quality drop-off

  2. I would have shot her the death ray eyes and said, “Nice. Real nice.” really loudly and picked it up myself. I hope, because I also have a “rage” thing, that this is what I would have done. :)

    Butrfly Gardens last blog post..Answer You Anything! Part Two.

  3. I have a question for your readers. We have a policy that we don’t throw anything on the ground that the “birds won’t eat.” So the bun from my son’s McD’s hamburger, for instance is free reign. Is that littering? Would those “crunchy” Mama’s still find that offensive. I don’t want a Moosh Mommy hurling a catchup soaked bun in my window!

  4. Along those lines, I HATE it when people leave their shopping carts in the middle of the parking space next to them, or worse, in between cars as if the carts won’t roll and dent the heck out of my side panel, when the cart return corral is about 15 steps away. “Lazy much?!” I always want to shout (but don’t). I do, however, routinely get out of my car and with huffy ostentation push their cart to where it belongs while sending daggers from my eyes in their general direction. You say passive aggressive; I say good samaratin…

    MommyTimes last blog post..Dear Starbucks,

  5. i would have sat and stewed and thought about how angry i was and how cool it would be to throw their cup back in their car. or at least stand in their line of sight and scowl.

    Yolandas last blog post..beach cruisers and surfwax

  6. This burns me when I see people doing this or even worse emptying the ashtary. OOOWHH…Makes me see red. I would have to say something but the clever comment like you say will come after I have already spoke.

    As last blog post..My First Awards

  7. I can’t believe no one has mentioned the most obviously diabolical answer:

    Walk THE MOOSH over and assist her in gently picking up the discarded cup, holding it aloft, and saying, all curls and eyes: “You dropped your cup, ma’am.”

    Satisfying.

    BeanPastes last blog post..Take 20 CC’s Of Latex Gloss And Call Me In The Morning

  8. Sorry – I tried stalking megachick to her site, but am too tech challenged (and hot and coffee-negative @ this time) to ge tsigned in. ;p
    Crunchy is used as a general abbreviation for crunchy-granola-loving-tree-hugger-Birkenstock-wearing-hippie-v*gan-freakazoid. I know this because I teach high school and that’s how the kids refer to me. It’s not a bad thing.

  9. I’d have probably picked it up myself and cussed that bitch out (silently in my head of course)

    Worker Mommys last blog post..Uggh it’s that time again