These are the days that puzzle me the most.

I wake up from restless sleep, begin my day only to become more and more anxious as the day goes on. Feeling overwhelmed, incredibly frustrated. I look around and realize that I’m doing the same thing I do everyday. Picking up the same messes, washing the same laundry, putting away the same toys, cleaning the same dishes. Dealing with the same tantrums, the same schedule, the same frustrations every day. Yet there is the occasional day that putting away the same t-shirt for the 37th time causes me to look around and realize I accomplish nothing great on a day to day basis. Everything I do today will be misplaced, dirty, eaten or unfolded by the end of the week and I will start all over again next week. And for the next many many weeks to come. This in turn causes me fall to the floor in a heap and cry.

It’s so dumb.

This is my life that I chose, and most days I’m happy with it.

But some days I want to throw it all in garbage bags and start over.

Tomorrow the piles won’t look so big, my imperfections won’t glare so harshly and I’ll wonder what ever happened to me yesterday. I just have to get to tomorrow first.

Comments

  1. Oh my yes. Yes and yes again. Reset. I like that. I really, really need it.

    Kristins last blog post..For the love of dad

  2. Oh my goodness I am SO with you. Stupid depression SUCKS. It SUCKS the life right out of you.

    Mrs. Wilsons last blog post..Color Me Happy Swaparooni!

  3. Girl, I so get you. You’re not alone. I think every SAHM, if she’s honest with herself and everyone else, feels like this from time to time. I think it’s very normal, actually. It’s when this frame of mind takes over and becomes our daily perspective that we may need an intervention. The thing that helps me on these kinds of days is knowing that I can’t “do” anything that will make the Father love me more. That I bring Him joy just in my “being.” Rest in that truth.

    Angelas last blog post..Happier Days Are Here Again

  4. Gah, this just described my life perfectly.

    Kims last blog post..So, um this one time…

  5. As a father of two ASD boys, I really appreciate your blog and the information you post!