- There are two types of sleepy kids in this world, those that fall asleep anywhere and those that will only fall asleep in (or somewhat nearby) their bed. I have the latter.
- If you are a parent to a child who only falls asleep in their bed, many pictures must be taken of the child when they are asleep anywhere but their bed because this phenomenon is much like spotting the Loch Ness Monster or a full toilet paper roll if you’re married.
- A child will weigh an additional ten times its age in pounds when asleep. For example, a 30 lb. three year old will weigh 60 lbs. when sleeping. (3 years x 10 addl. pounds per year +30 lbs. =60 lbs.) Multiply by two if you have to hold said child for any amount of time over ten minutes.
(She weighs about 374 lbs. in this photo.)
- Nothing can cure an exasperated mother’s heart better than seeing her child asleep. It gives one the belief that, yes, you can do this again tomorrow and that kids, at some point, do hold still and shoosh.
Which is why most little brothers and sisters are made at night. When your current child is tricking you with their sweet angelic face and sleep farts (or giggles, depending on what you had for dinner.)