I am currently writing this with the equivalent of a very tasty breakfast smeared on my face.
It involves oatmeal, sugar and a few other random things floating around my MIL’s kitchen.
Google told me how. Well, google told me to try some jojoba oil and I told google that when I step outside I smell cows and I’m awoken to a rooster every morning so therefore jojoba oil is not really a viable option from where I stand.
Cow pies and roadkill however? Plentiful.
This is my face meeting up with the recession. I do not have naturally dewey glowy luminous skin, I have photoshop. I do however have naturally blotchy, zitty, puffy skin. WHEE!
I have yet to find something that works. And that’s when we had the budget that allowed me to find products that worked. (Even though they didn’t.) I used that Olay stuff that promised luminosity. I used the entire Philosophy line only to find myself with bad skin and without a lot of money. I failed with Proactive and pretty much the only time I came close to lovely skin is when I washed my face with snow for a week.
And then the snow melted and I was out of luck.
So here I sit, with Quaker Oats on my face. (Not even from a tub, they’re from an instant baggie. *sigh*)
I’m thinking back on all the dumb things I’ve done for beauty.
Mayo in my hair? Check.
Eggs in my hair? Check.
Cooking oil on my face? Check.
Beer in my hair AND on my face? Check.
Rock salt as a scrub? I’m pretty sure sliding down a razor naked would hurt less.
So tell me, have you ever done anything dumb for beauty? Do you have any suggestions of things I can make out of food storage that will give me the dewey luminous skin I dream of?
My, uh, “mask?” Starting to burn.