Everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time.
Except for the moosh who positions herself just so, then rocket jumps into her pants and generally lands with her face against some sort of upholstered furniture, giggling.
Pants on one leg at at time, piffle. What a crappy way to relate to someone.
- Today I cleaned my microwave because it looked as though I had cooked a fairly substantial cat in it.
- This weekend I cleaned poop smears off of my kid and the toilet seat because she’s four and let’s admit it, sometimes wiping can still be a little tricky even for a grownup.
- Earlier I somehow got fabric softener on my finger during my last load of laundry just before dinner. I later got Snuggle Ultra Fresh in my mouth when I tried to pick out a piece of especially stubborn chicken.
- Today my period came out of nowhere (okay so I know where it came from) to surprise me a week early with the fact that I’m still in fact, not pregnant.
- At dinner I cleaned up spilled milk twice in less than three minutes. One time was out of the moosh’s eye and/or nose.
- This afternoon I had my hand (covered in a hot pink latex glove) shoved up to my elbow in my (broken) outdoor dryer vent digging out mud, rocks, ant traps and a Nerf Ball, circa 1997. While it was snowing. Hard.
- I was woken up this morning by a four year old knee to my crotch and a four year old head to my jaw.
- Tomorrow I need to seriously consider scrubbing the applesauce that spilled in the fridge (honestly, what is it with spilled stuff in the fridge? It’s stickier than snot before you have time to blink.) and defurring the furry corner of the bathroom.
- I vacuumed dead bugs out of all of my light fixtures today.
- I spent half the day as a ladybug (with pink sparkly wings!) who wasn’t allowed to talk and was served “bug goo snot” out of a red toy teacup by two little girls, one dressed as Alice in Wonderland, the other dressed as Supergirl.
I say we no longer relate to each other by how we put our pants on, but by the furriness of our furry corners in the bathroom and the number of Nerf Balls in our dryer vents.