moosh in indy.

Maybe if I sing Manilow classics through my nose it will happen…

January 6, 2009

Nothing packs a wallop to a barren, unfruitful uterus like a Hollywood pregnancy.

I’m not even talking about celebrities, which BTW, Britney? Why do you get two? And Angelina? Don’t even get me started.

I’m talking about movie pregnancies, television pregnancies and yes, even novel pregnancies.

I threw Breaking Dawn against the wall when I found out that little whiny human was knocked up by someone who doesn’t even produce sperm, just VENOM.

I screamed at the TV when Sun ended up LOST and pregnant on a deserted island with no one but her infertile husband Jin around to do the job.

Elizabeth the Golden Age? OF COURSE YOU CAN GET PREGNANT WITH THE QUEEN’S LOVE INTEREST THE FIRST TIME YOU DO THE DEED.

Meh.

There’s already a raging debate going on that romantic movies put too much pressure on everyday husbands who’s wives expect them to come home holding stereos playing Peter Gabriel above their heads every time they screw up. Fashion magazines put too much pressure on young girls to look flawless, tan and thin. Parenting magazines would have you believe that parenting is a beautiful joy spent surrounded by Pottery Barn furnishings and pastel clothing.

Well I’m here to say that movie pregnancies are just as bad.

There’s an ENTIRE MOVIE dedicated to getting pregnant off of a one night stand (and no, it’s not my kid in the movie.)

Yes, I know it can happen. Just like winning the lottery can happen.

But why my cousin can get his girlfriend pregnant, dump the kid on his handicapped parents,forcing them to adopt the baby, AND THEN GET THE SAME GIRLFRIEND pregnant again, even though they’ve had restraining orders on each other, twice, IS BEYOND ME.

I want to hear your favorite unrealistic pregnancy, real or theatrical. Maybe if I surround myself with so much ridiculousness I’ll be able to get pregnant while swimming through an ocean of fairies and twinkling lights while my husband is taking the bar and eating hot dogs half a world away while on my Barry Manilow karaoke world tour.

Hey, it could happen.

Comments off.

I’ll go first, because, well, I have no life and was one twitter when you posted. But mostly the no life thing.

(True story)
My grandmother had 4 kids, all 2 years apart starting in the 50s. When she was 47 years old, she was convinced that she had begun menopause and thus went to see her doctor about it.

Low and behold, she was pregnant. Her children were 22, 20, 18 and 16. And when she told them, they laughed at her because they thought she was kidding. She subsequently stormed out of the room in tears and refused to speak to any of them for days.

My grandfather was 49 when she was born and my grandma was 48. And I’m now closer to that aunt (who is closer in age to all of her nieces and nephews than any of her brothers and sisters) than to anyone. And um, she’s having a baby by c-section tomorrow morning (also true, I swear).

Here’s to hoping that a little of my grandma’s magic fertility can be passed onto you and your family. And be kept far away from me and mine for a few more years.

Overflowing Brains last blog post..Mirror, Mirror

My husband and I have always (ALWAYS) used contraceptive devices. Which is why I occasionally refer to our children as “OrthoNovum” and “Trojan.” I’m afraid if I send him for a vasectomy, we’ll end up with twins.

WaltzInExiles last blog post..Hogmanay

I threw Breaking Dawn up against the wall for pretty much the same reason. It’d be the weirdest and most unrealistic fictional pregnancy that sticks out in my mind.

The neighbors I had next door while I was growing up had been trying for years–maybe even a decade–to get pregnant. They’d had multiple miscarriages. A few years after moving in, they started fostering children. The third or fourth family (one of three children of a common mother)was one they had for nearly a year. The mother gave birth to another child, a daughter, and wanted the couple to have the option to adopt her before anyone else. They accepted, and happily began raising their daughter.

I don’t think it was even two months later they found out that they were pregnant. They moved away, but my dad keeps in contact and they have two more children now. Just…suddenly fertile. Which kind of boggles my mind.

Hope that adds to the ocean of fairies and twinkling lights!

Ok so I think I might have it….

So I’m going to make up the names because in real life all of the girls names are Sarah and that makes things confusing….

So there is Pastor B and his wife S. S has a younger brother named A and A has been dating this girl P since they were 14. Following so far? Well A and P get married when they finish high school and Pastor B and S are the best man and the Matron of Honor. Pastor B really takes P under his wing, over the years before and after P and A had been married. People always thought it was odd how close the family was but whatever. So A and S have this brother and sister in law that come back for a visit from a missions trip in Africa we’ll call the SIL V.

How about now following??

Ok so P and V are talking one day and out comes the secret. 40 yr old Pastor B and 19 yr old P have been sleeping together since she was 16.

CRAZY RIGHT!

Ok well then V makes P confess to the world and some how in a fit of rage S and Pastor B decide the take a roll between the sheets and BAM there comes their first baby after being married for 12 years no kids there’s number one!! If that’s not the worst way to conceive than I don’t know what is!!

Let’s see…my sister had stage 3 ovarian cancer and they said she would probably never be able to have kids. Well, then she popped out 3 big ones in a row. They were most definitely done having kids, the doctor told her she most definitely could not and would not get pregnant again. Then they adopted a beautiful baby girl from China, their one and only girl. Then earlier this year, my sister started having some weird symptoms and thought her cancer was coming back, went to the doctor, and guess what? She is knocked up again! With another boy! He was just born at the beginning of this month.

Audies last blog post..My Body Sucks…Big Time

Lets talk my ex-bishop…when I was getting married…he was THE bishop. Anyway, let’s talk about how he left his wife to screw the UGLIEST chick in the ward…she was obese and already had 8 biological chilren with her first husband. Why…oh why? How come it is the classiest people in this world who get what they want…er uh don’t want?

Loves and hugs sent your way. You are in my heart and prayers.

Kimmies last blog post..Eighth

Pregnancy seems to be in the water here too, and my hubby is ready for another, but I’m not just yet.

I’m under a lot of pressure from the family to try for a girl (I have boys), and even my oldest is wishing for a sister, but I just don’t think that it is going to happen.

Wishing you all the best…

Nicoles last blog post..What To Do

Oh, my least favorite movie/book ending has got to be when the romantic leading man kicks the bucket but the woman, in their one sexual encounter, has managed to become pregnant and the end has her cradling her belly, thinking that she at least has this new life/little piece of the man…ack. See: Cold Mountain (the book, never saw the movie), Horse Whisperer, and what was the Barbara Kingsolver book? Something about summer or a season…anyway. Blech.

I want to hear more about this cousin.

heather…s last blog post..Fang

I don’t know any random ones, only a relative who doesn’t know the first thing about her own life, let alone how to raise another human being, and yet…pregnant. I feel so sorry for the kid—if I could make it switch from her womb to yours, I would do it in a heartbeat. Which sounds weird and creepy, and I promise I don’t lose sleep over your womb, but really. You would have so much more to offer as a mother than this kid is ever going to get.

Camilles last blog post..How to Survive a Multi-hour Road Trip in Five Easy Steps

My cousin Nikki ended up being pregnant with twin boys at age 17 living with her crackhead boyfriend named Cherry (hello) in his parents house.

Her dad talks to her that she should place the boys for adoption, but her mother my Aunt talks her out if it telling her daughter that she can’t just give away her grandchildren.

So she has the babies, does not place them for adoption, raises them in her boyfriends parents house and a year later she marries Cherry only to get a divorce 4 months later. And now she moves around like a gypsy.

The kicker is she dumps her boys on her mom and her sisters for months at a time and her mom complains that she has to take care of them. If you are going to be so ignorant about the lifestyle you encouraged you don’t get to complain about it ever!!

It is bitter watching the fertile out there make mistakes, with opportunities we don’t get.

Kims last blog post..I am the party pooper

My personal favourite unrealistic fictional pregnancies are the ones from BSG that include a Cylon parent (they’re ROBOTS, for crying out loud).

SciFi Dads last blog post..Buddy At Three Months

True story (not an episode on gray’s anatomy): A friend of my friend has two, yes TWO uteruses (or is it uteri?) but didn’t know it. They got pregnant then two months later they got pregnant again. So she was pregnant for 11 months straight. Now even when she is pregnant they have to use birth control. No joke.
Here’s wishing your body spontaneously develops a second uterus. Love you.

So are you reading my mind or what? My husband’s cousin Carrie (not real name) has been with her boyfriend Charles for probably about 8 years. They had 2 kids back to back, Candice and Charles (Jr.). Not being able to provide for them, and having mental handicaps herself I might add, Carrie cannot offer her children a clean environment—or food, or childcare. For some reason that was hard; although her grandmother offered her the basement of their house to live in AND offered to watch the kids while she worked. So the kids get taken away, with absolutely NO visitation rights, and Carrie’s mother has them now–I think she’s going to adopt them. These kids are 8 and 6 1/2.

Then Carrie and Charles break up. Carrie gets pregnant by another guy and miscarries. She and Charles get back together, and they have nearly 3 year old Charles Jason (called Jason–odd to name 2 kids the same name a’la George Foreman? Just wait). Jason has developmental issues as well, and Carrie and Charles refuse to get him therapy or any help. Although it’s state funded, they don’t want him getting help and refuse to see that there is a problem. So instead, they have ANOTHER baby! Another boy named Charles Braden.

We met Braden when he was nearly 4 months old and didn’t weigh even 10 lbs yet. Carrie insisted on breast feeding because as long as she was breast feeding, she didn’t have to go back to work. Charles was pissed because he just wanted her to go back to work, so he could quit his job. (He ended up quitting his job because they took money out of his paycheck to pay his child support to his OTHER 2 children!–one was born before the first and the other was born during their brief broken up period.) So when we first met Braden, he was starving and screaming, and by the time Carrie decided to feed him, he had fallen asleep from exhaustion. She said he was full. I said I was going to go buy formula.

So we saw them at Christmas, Braden is just barely a year, and Carrie is now showing again but says she isn’t pregnant. We’ll see this spring.

All the while, I’m unable to get pregnant with another after a miscarriage a year ago and will start treatments this month. Karma? Hello?????? Good luck, Casey. You deserve more little cuties.

How about Juno?!

First time for each of them and they get pregnant on the FIRST TRY.

Wha-ha?!

I am currently not wanting children (Uh, I’m 24 and my husband’s in grad school. We are broke.) but I totally expect getting pregnant to not come easily. Even though my aunts tell me we’re a super fertile breed. (Many unexpected childrens.)

ashley.s last blog post..{FAQ 6} Eco-Tipp, Fantasy Island, How I Smell, and Baby Plans!

I know how you feel! Why is it that some people can get pregnant at the drop of a hat while others of us struggle. Taking clomid and scheduling the deed (every day for 10 days) kind of takes the fun out of it, and then you still can’t get pregnant! AHHHH!

I feel your pain.

While I struggle, I have very fertile sisters, most of them get pregnant while they are trying not to. One sister got pregnant with an IUD in place, and the other was using the pill and condoms.

FOR THE LOVE!

a.mens last blog post..Lullaby

Last week there was a crazy show on TLC about women who gave birth when they didn’t even know they were pregnant. I wished I had a brick to throw at the television.

Not funny, and not even about the getting pregnant part of the story, but the girl who sits next to me at the office told us she was pregnant about two months ago. Today the girl who sits on the other side of me announced she’s preggers too. They both have the same due date.
I’m starting to worry if there’s something in the water…

Vics last blog post..Vic the Vampire

i’m with Heather. i want to hear more about this cousin!

alis last blog post..some holiday tips from Ali

So I too had to have IVF to get pregnant with my twins- and my pregnancy was a journey to hell and back (pre term labor, hospital bedrest at 25 weeks, birht at 30 weeks, NICU mom for 6 weeks…)

and it pisses me off when I hear people (like a co-worker of mine) say “I forgot to take my birth control pill just ONE DAY” and I got pregnant.” Yes- apparently this happens.

Damn it.

Casey- I am sending you baby dust from new york!

BTW- your daughter does look a whole lot like Judd Aptow’s daughter- doesnt she?

mayas last blog post..2008

same things going on over here, i just haven’t had the courage to write about it.

three months after getting married, i found out that i have polycystic ovaries and am not ovulating. talk about a blow below the belt.

my sister runs away for ten months, lives out of her car, in random sheds, and on the beach … announces she’s pregnant on the INTERNET and never told anyone here at home. i broke the news to my parents who were bailing her out at every turn, they spent their 25th anniversary traveling to pick her sorry @$$ up and now she’s home living off welfare and WIC programs.

to top it off, she came to us on jan. 1 and asked for us to adopt her baby. this has been the toughest decision i’ve ever had to face. and i feel like i’m going at it alone because hubby is studying for his CPA exam. i sit at home all day freaking out about how we will ever be able to make this decision. will my husband be able to love a child that is only blood related to me? will it cause problems with his family? can we afford this? etc.

lindsaywillmans last blog post..I’m going to go join Winnie at his thinking spot

My ex-step-cousin (if that’s any indication of how screwed up this will be) broke up with her boyfriend when she found out she was pregnant with another guy’s child. The new guy was actually pretty nice, and even moved here from New York to be with her and raise their child.

They had another child, and got married.

Then after only a few month of marriage, my cousin decided she was a lesbian. Her new girlfriend with her own two kids moved in with my cousin, her two kids, and the soon to be ex-husband.

Now, my cousin is pregnant by some new guy I’ve never heard of before. Luckily she is no longer living with her ex-husband, and the kids are also living with their dad.

Michelle Hartzs last blog post..A Wish for the New Year

No real crazy out of whack pregnancy stories here just the fact that I have an 18 y/o and a 2 y/o.

To me that’s insanity!

Lisas last blog post..You’re leaving the house wearing that?

Ha, ha! Did someone else think it was the moosh in Knocked Up? Have you seen that little girl yet? There IS a strong resemblance.

I am one of those people that gets pregnant really easily- on our first month trying we got pregnant with twins! Fertility is just not fair, and I sincerely wish I could share some of my own fertility mojo with you.

I’m also doing the 365 project, but I don’t have a nice camera and I don’t have ANY photography or photoshop skills, so I’m hoping to see some improvement as the year progresses… and maybe score a new camera somewhere along the way. =)

Marie Greens last blog post..Bonga, bonga, bonga

One of my best friend tried for years to get pregnant and after many tests and fertility treatments it was determiend that her body was allergic to her husband’s sperm. Or killing it. Or something like that. Essentially, they were incompatible in the reproductive department. Finally, through IVF they concieved a beautiful baby girl who just turned six. But not one short month after that little girl’s first birthday, my friend, who had not been practicing birth control, because she was told a hundred million times that she was incapable of having her husband’s baby without “assitance” missed a period. And just for fun, she took a pregnancy test. And it was positive!!! She was shocked, elated and pissed all at the same time. Shocked, well, for obvious reaons. Elated, ditto. Pissed at the doctor’s who put her through the hell of thinking that women go through mentally and emotionally when they realize they can’t conceive naturally. That all went away and the elation took over. Now they have an awesome 4 1/2 year old boy to match their 6 year old girl!

Jills last blog post..Update on Spike (deja vu all over again)

Casey need a hug? Seriously though, yes, Bella’s pregnancy? Ridiculous.

Emily the Utah transplant from the Midwests last blog post..Relapse and Cat Herding

My family is so fertile I don’t want to talk about it. I have a dad who’s older than my grandparents and an aunt who’s younger than I am. It’s mind boggling.

Your cousin’s story is mind boggling as well. Good lord.

Rheas last blog post..Ree, the Pioneer Woman

My 14 year old niece getting pregnant. Telling me she was going to adopt the baby to me. Then changing her mind. (I am unable to get pregnant)Then asking me to host her baby shower. And then having my brother shove the kid down my throat all the time. He’s a proud grandpa. And then she got pregnant again and

I have one ovary and was on birth control. We got pregnant the first and only time we didn’t use “other” additional protection. That was a surprise.

My cousin and his wife went through fertility treatments for years and IVF two times before they were told that she had a structural abnormality that would permanently prevent her from getting pregnant. So they adopted. A year later, she had a beautiful baby boy.

It’ll happen when you least expect it, I’m sure (although I’m also sure you probably hate hearing people say that!)

Hang in there

I had a hyst at 24 because of the seriously bad depression mirroring my mothers and well I know what happened to her and that can’t happen to me. So I’ve got two kids, am always sick, and know I can’t handle my own kids and another horrible pregnancy. A year later, the baby hunger is bad. my deal with my husband is we can adopt after I’ve been healthy for a year. That probably won’t happen for a LONG time. So I try for a dog. If I can’t have a baby I can at least have a dog right? I mean that way if it gets to be too much we can share with another family. But husband won’t go for it until we find a poopless dog. He doesn’t get the fact that my breast are empty, so empty, I just want my body to do something right. Whatever so my unrealistic pregnancy dream is that we can harvest sperm from my husband who had a vasectomy a month before I found out I had to have a hyst and then harvest eggs from my barren body and we find a surrogate we trust who can have my baby for me. Or I could just buy an Amarican Girl doll and be a pathetic loser pretending a doll is my baby.

Been on the receiving end of all the advice — relax, have your dh wear boxers, try herbal tea, try Robitussin.

Clomid was our magic bullet. Left us with one kid (our third) who we adore and can’t imagine life without, but about whom we sometimes scratch our heads and say “be careful what we wish for!”

Amys last blog post..Visiting the church of O

Here’s one. My Ex-step-sister was and is a drug addict prostitute.

She had 4 drug addicted babies basically one right after the other. That was about 17 years ago. She’s been pregnant off and on over the years and has had miscarriages. The kids were taken away from her when the first was 2 and the second was 1. They were placed with her drug addicted alcoholic grandfather(because he’s a functioning addict.)

About two years ago, the second child- 14 years old commits suicide to get away from her life. The oldest is now 17 with two kids. The two youngest were removed and placed with my mother (which is no better) because finally someone saw the mother L and her mother C (the grandmother) beating on one of the youngest (now 15) in the street.

Turns out my x-step-sister who is pushing nearly 40 now and a meth addict is pregnant. She is married but her husband is and has been in jail. Last I heard she was talking abortion. I hope someone took her. The life the children have been through and the lack of protection from anyone…no one deserves that. These kids have just been paychecks for drugs.

Well, I think you know about my half sister. I’m raising her 5 kids because the father killed the baby. I was thankful that she had herself fixed after the last baby but I heard that she was pregnant months after the baby was killed and had to be rushed to the ER because it was a tubal pregnancy. WTF?

It runs in their family. Their Aunt kept having kids despite being told that she could die because it meant more money from welfare. Despite having a premature child who almost died and who she left in the hospital to go live in another city with her “man”. As soon as they put a cap on how many kids they would cover,she stopped having kids.

Here I’ve waited, put myself through college, bought a house and a car, got married and now probably will never have children of my own because I can’t afford to having 5 kids to raise already. I am so sick of people telling me I am “set”. I guess I would liken it to someone probably telling you at least you have one… you know? Sorry to go off, I just wrote a post about this. lol

Oh and Twilight…what about her period? That blood doesn’t count? lol

Sashas last blog post..Calling a spade, well, a spade…

I completely agree. How about the secretary who had 2 kids by a guy in jail and then he is out for probably a week and she gets pregnant again. I mean really. I am totally on the same side with this pregnancy issue.

We didn’t want our oldest to make it to 3 without a younger sibling, and it took a full year for us to get pregnant with her, so I planned out a window of opportunity for when we can start trying, right around her first birthday. We got one try in, that first month, but the timing was way off (if you know what I mean), and then a hurricane threw everything out of whack and when things calmed down it was too late. I figured we’d just try again the next month. Nope. I was pregnant. To this day I still have no idea how that worked.

Well, my stort isn’t way too out there but…I got pregnant with my first daughter about 2 months after I was married. I was using the “whatever happens, happens” method. When she was 17 months I decided to try again which turned out to be a good thing…a couple of days later I found out there was no need to try, I was already expecting. About a month before that daughters first birthday, I took a test mostly as a joke because it had been awhile since aunt flo had visited. I figured my cycle was still just working itself out and dropped to the floor sobbing when the test turned positive within seconds. So really no trying necessary for the first three. Just after my son’s 2nd birthday we decided to go for number four and wouldn’t you know it got pregnant right away. However, when I went in for a 9 week ultrasound, there was no heartbeat. So the first child that I actually TRIED for, I miscarried. I did get pregnant again and number four will celebrate his first birthday in a couple of days. And now? I keep finding myself confronted with weird things making me think that I am destined to have TWINS. For example, I read a book where a secondary character WITH MY NAME was preggo with twins. And the next book I read? The main character ends up preggo with twins. And that is just the tip of the iceberg! If I end up preggo with twins? We will have them transferred to your womb. Okay? Okay. Because I am done having kids.

amandas last blog post..Expanding our Family

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slap a spoiler warning on that Breaking Dawn tidbit, would ya? Some of us are still in the Twilight zone!

I was nursing my 11 month daughter, on birth control, AND I have polycystic ovaries, and I found I was pregnant with my son. This is after doing fertility to get pregnant with my 11 month old daughter for 2 years!! Go figure. To say I was shocked would be an understatement.

Ambers last blog post..How to make a mess

I thought I was pregnant once, but it ended up that I just ate too much steak.

Avitables last blog post..Early retirement

I’ve been teaching for 5 years years and could tell you numerous insane stories. Like one of my kindergartners this year. He has a 2 yr old brother, 1 yr old brother, and a newborn sister. Mom and dad repeatedly abuse each other (Mom goes after Dad with a knife in front of the kids!) but nothing I can do since my student isn’t being touched. We can just suggest the free counseling services available. I just pray she doesn’t get pregnant again!

My favorite unrealistic pregnancies have to come from Days of Our Lives. Seriously pick a character and there is some totally messed up story!

While at my last job, I suffered 4 miscarriages in 5 years. During this time, my co-worker’s young, umarried daughter had two babies by two different fathers. Yeah, I was a little bitter to say the least.

My friend was diagnosed with fibroid tumors when she was 40 by her gyno. They decide to do a hysterectomy and needed some sort of ultrasound or scan thing before the surgery. The tech asked when her last period was, and my friend said the wrong date (a week later than when it really was). The tech then said they had to do a pregnancy test, per policy, because the scan they were about to do would abort the pregnancy. My friend swore up and down she just said the date wrong and she wasn’t pregnant. Lo and behold, the test was positive and if my friend would have said the correct date, we wouldn’t have three year old Sophie running around. Go figure.

Domestic Goddess (In Training)s last blog post..Pass the Prozac, Please

I was told by my doctor that an IUD was like reversible sterilization. She was wrong. I got pregnant anyway. Then I found out that another doctor in that clinic, and a doctor’s wife BOTH got pregnant also with IUDs in place. Let’s just say that if I hear of anyone contemplating that type of birth control I tell them to run away. Quickly.

My sister-in-law’s sister-in-law was told that she could never be pregnant, so they adopted a little boy from Taiwan. A year later, right before her husband left for a tour in Iraq, she found out they were pregnant.

I’ll never understand it.

Mrs. Wilsons last blog post..Winter Photo

How about the Scrubs storyline where JD knocks up a girl on their second date without having sex?

Backpacking Dads last blog post..Not cool, Willy

Gah, I feel you. This was me for 6 years. The worst was when my completely ****ed up sister in law sent us a card saying she was “pregnate” and when were *we* going to have a baby because she was tired of waiting.

She’s lucky she’s still alive, and I’m lucky I’m not in prison.

My favorite unrealistic pregnancy happened on a soap opera. I can’t remember which one it was, but I saw the clip on The Soup. Basically, a man in his forties discovers that the girl he screwed around with & impregnated actually used to be a man. AND actually was his SON! that’s right.

the vampire pregnancy aggravated me into a frenzy, but that was only part of why i threw “breaking dawn” against the wall. (jacob and renesmee? are you freakin’ kidding me????)

oh, but i guess i’m off-topic.

the thing that ticks me off these days is rash of celebrity twins. what is THAT about????

the planet of janets last blog post..I hear the quadriceps singing

I think you wanted outrageous movie pregnancies. I’ll add Pirates of the Caribbean, if you stayed to watch the credits after the 3rd one. Will Turner gets one day every 10 years with Elizabeth. On his 2nd visit his 10 year old son is waiting for him.

threeundertwos last blog post..Memory reset in progress

I’ve got nothin’ for you… other than the fact that by checking blogs yesterday (I don’t check all the private ones as often) I found out 10 (YES 10!!!) of my friends had announced their pregnancies in the past month.
Am I feeling left out, or what?!

I don’t know about any unrealistic pregnancies, but being a member of the “barren, unfruitful uterus” club, it drives me crazy when women that are pregnant complain all day about it, and working with them every day is worse. They are so blessed, but complain so much about it. It kinda hurts. I have made a vow, if I am every given that blessing, I won’t complain. To me it’s worth all the plain and aggrivation to hold your baby in the end.

I hope soon enough you get your story, Casey. The story of the girl who desperately wanted another baby. And then one day ended up prego with triplets…or something like that

Lisas last blog post..What a Merry Christmas Ladies!

Dude! If you’re gonna give away the ending to a book I haven’t read yet…TELL ME FIRST! Then I will not read this post.

*Covers eyes…LALALALA…Did NOT just read a spoiler for Breaking Dawn*

Ok, this one is a “you’ve got to be kidding me” story. My parents had my brother at 20 (surprise), afterward they used protection. Low and behold I appeared 13 months later. 21 months later my brother came along. (again, while using protection) 18 months after my brother my mom got pregnant again. That time it was “twins” and they found out she has 2 uteri, with one child in each. Apparently her doctor’s never knew she had a double cervix and she had been using a diaphragm for BC. The doctor’s were all thrilled because of the rarity of having a baby in each uterus, meanwhile my mother was crying on the table because she was 24 and going to be mother to 5 children.(hello, overwhelming) She had to argue with her doctor to have her tubes tied because back then they wouldn’t do it for someone so young. Good thing my mother loves children and we are all blessed to be here.

And I understand the seemingly irrational emotions. It’s hard to get all excited for other people’s joy when you are suffering through trying. I have beaten myself up so many times because I haven’t been able to get all excited about my new niece. And I’m soooooooooooo tired of all the insensitive comments that people make to me without realizing it. I could care less if they mean well.

My prayers are with you as you hang on to your hopes and dreams.

Rachels last blog post..Making it Through

Gosh, Casey, just sending you a big hug. I am always bummed for you when I read that pregnancies are mocking you all over the place. Even imaginary half-human/half-vampire ones.

I’m just thinking of Abraham & Sarah.

And law school? I can speak from experience that it’s not exactly a welcoming environment for conception. I mean, come on, we had dates at Meijer…@ 11 p.m…to buy food…So NOT romantic.

Keep the faith, sister.

Oh, and if Manilow doesn’t cut it, perhaps the Carpenters will!!!

My cousin, who is 26 years old, has been pregnant FIVE TIMES – all by the low life boyfriend she refuses to marry.

The last time? Was after a supposed tubal ligation.

Miss Brits last blog post..More Degrees Of Separation

It makes me sad when I read about women who desperately want babies, and can’t have them, while I desperately DON’T want babies, and probably CAN have them
I’ll act as a surrogate if need be!

Megs last blog post..What I’ve done

Freshman year of high school: 14-year-old girl who’s pregnant in my biology class. She leaves school a month or so before her baby is born. Junior year, she has another baby.

Freshman in college, accomplished athlete. Does the nasty with another accomplished athlete and gets pregnant. Does not stay pregnant, but would have had twin boys.

Seriously. Women need to work out a work-share program involving uteri. Jeez.

Marins last blog post..Florida

I know how you feel Casey! I currently know 5 (count’em 5 !?!!) pregnant women. At least one of them was an accidental pregnancy that they didn’t initially want but are now going to keep. To top it all off, one of the pregnant people is my SIL that pre-dated my hubby and I’s wedding date by 6 months, AFTER she knew what date we were setting ours at…and then picked the colors I wanted to have…GRRRR!! Now she is getting her baby and celebrating her anniversary (always before ours now, even though she knew her hubby for MUCH less time before they married and went against parents wishes for when to get married….) I am hoping to get pregnant soon, but it took my parents over a decade to conceive my older brother, so who knows how long it will take us, hopefully we dont have to wait another 7 years… Casey I know just how you feel, and I am about to have a LOT of really pregnant people and their hormones shoved in my face… Anyone know where they get their water??

3 years ago almost to the date, my hubby and I said “hey, maybe we should start trying”. We conceived the very first try, just 3 days after I quit the pill. She is 27 months old now.

Just 2 months ago, while in pre-op for my gallbladder removal the nurse asks “Uh – is their a possibility you are pregnant?” I tell her no way, we are using two forms for BC but the blood tests said differently. Talk about shocking! We were thinking of trying after the surgery, but I was totally not ready for that news. I have since lost that pregnancy (and OMG, that is such an awful experience – my heart goes out to anyone who has gone through that once, let alone multiple times) and now hope that after the surgery (re-scheduled in a few weeks) I can conceive again as easily and maintain the pregnancy… because in my perfect world, I would be 3-4 months along right now and not dealing with a bum gallbladder.

ikates last blog post..Good-Bye 2008

Friends of ours told us that my girlfriend’s ex husband who had beaten her children so bad they were in the hospital and was declared bipolar and now pays $30.00 a month in child support (I KNOW!)… remarried. They couldn’t have any children so they went to my fertility clinic. They couldn’t afford the IVF, so the government because they are on welfare and he is in medical need approved a full funding for them. Now they are pregnant and we are still on the waiting list and saving up money. This world is REALLY twisted.

Well I have lots of stories… lets start with the fact that I currently know 35 people that have had babies in the last 3 months or are pregnant…. yes I keep track. Pathetic yes, but such is my life.

One of these 35 had her twin boys (so now she has 5) early after being on hospital bed rest. She’s my cousin, and is only 5 months older than I am (I’m 25). My wish for her is to slow down, breath, and kick her husband’s butt… he’s a jerk!

Another story, a former co-worker (one of the overly dramatic kind) who I tried very hard to be a good friend to started dating another co-worker (single dad, in the middle of a nasty divorce his wife up and left all of a sudden leaving him to take care of the 4 kids…) This of course was after she went around telling everyone how much she didn’t like him. Talked of getting married, dumped him, got back together, talked of marriage again, and dumped him again… only to shout down the hallway and through the office of the elementary school where we worked that she was pregnant with his baby.

She debated giving him up for adoption… but to some other friends of hers, never to us. Ended up in preterm labor and baby was in the NICU for 8 weeks.

She called another friend a 2 months ago and said she was getting married to some ex-con. We’re sure #2 is already on the way.

One day, maybe I can be so self centered.

Erikas last blog post..We’ll see how this goes.

My old friend (dumb as a doorknob, a barbie when she puts enough makeup on) called me right before I found out I was pregnant with Bella. Her new jerkwad bf knocked her up and told her he didn’t love her, didn’t want her to have his kid (he DID have two already, as did she…all supported by the system) and that she had to get an abortion or he would do it for her pretty much. So she did. She did the same thing the NEXT time he knocked her up. But thankfully (puke) he “let” her keep the THIRD one.

I tell you hon, the first thing I ask when I get to heaven is going to be “WHY?” Believe me.

ButrflyGardens last blog post..Work

My own story is amazing, with my third and last baby. I did not know when we were trying to get pregnant, but I was menopausal in my late 30s. Premature menopause is quite rare. Had we known, we might have given up trying. But we got pregnant, and after his birth when we wanted one more baby but my periods never resumed, blood tests revealed that I had the ovaries of a 52 yr old woman. It wasn’t perimenopause. I was post-menopausal at that point – done and over. The Lord gave us that baby. He’s a little miracle.

(Yeah, when Bella got knocked up I thought Twilight had jumped the shark for sure.)

Amys last blog post..

While my husband and I spent a horrible, painful year trying to get pregnant my 17 yo SIL got knocked up by her loser/ass hat boyfriend. Two days later my FIL informed us he had knocked up his crack-whore (literally, a crack whore) girlfriend with her fifth child, only one of which she had custody of. My sister got pregnant with her third. One of our best friends got pregnant with their first. It was a horrible, horrible time. I asked a lot of the same question – why do they all deserve to be pregnant and we don’t? Fast forward 7 years and we have 6 year old twins and a 3 year old.

You’ll get through this.

Lisas last blog post..Self

are you ready to commit suicide by now? I can’t imagine how any of this can be helpful to you in any way whatsoever.

Just remember Casey, the Lord is in charge. Maybe you already have but I think you should go to him about this in all the ways you know how to.

My sister worked hard for the first kid (it took a couple of years). Then the second was a surprise while she was on birth control. Then they kept trying for #3 and after 7 years gave up and my sis arranged to get a graduate degree when all the sudden it happened. Her kids were 10 and 8 when the third boy was born.

I seriously wish I could donate my lady parts. I have the opposite fear because I did have such an easy time getting pregnant and now that I think I am done I worry about getting pregnant (yes I would happily welcome another baby but I am just done planning and I am a planner like that). I would be one of those birth control, condoms, vasectomy people. See, now I feel bad for writing this and why I wish I could just donate my slightly used parts

midwest mommys last blog post..Because She Was Dirty

You could always adopt your fecund cousin’s kid(s).

A friend (ish) in high school got pregnant her/their very first time — and he didn’t even (ahem) GO in the inside, if you catch my drift. Her baby was born on my 16th birthday.

This can’t possibly be helpful. Stinkin’ fertility. Or lack thereof.

kristis last blog post..Bilingual kids

Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston, nuff said.

Do we have the same cousin / Mine has 5 kids with 2 baby mamas and well he doesn’t even acknowledge the first 2. Now he and his current wife are splitting up and he took his son and didn’t take his 2 other daughters. WTF…I’m almost embarassed to say we’re blood.

WMs last blog post..The horror that was New Years Eve

Wow! There are a lot of screwed up people out there and I have another story to throw out there!

C, a single drug using relative of my husband had a daughter. After awhile she decided she didn’t want her anymore and her mother started raising the little girl. Then C gets pregnant again. After she gives birth, she decides she could use some extra cash. So, she sells the baby. Her family freaks and fights to get the baby back. Now, her father is raising the second daughter. When C showed up for the holidays, guess what? Another baby. I guess she wants to keep this one. I feel so bad for her other daughters as they must feel passed over.

It literally made me sick that she had another baby. Especially because I want one so badly.

I totally feel your pain, just in a slightly different way. Having lost our baby and then being told not to get pregnant again (without further testing and surgery) makes it so hard for me to see babies. But they are EVERYWHERE. I’m about tired of movies and television for this very reason.

And I don’t understand how people who don’t want their babies are allowed to keep them when I lost mine and we wanted him so badly.

Can’t think of any movies off the top of my head, but all the pregnant ones suck right now.

Megs last blog post..What I Did For New Years

ME! I’ve got one!!! It involves my very own sister!

Here goes- so she’s not even married and tells me that she really wants to have a baby. She says it with that twinkle in her eye that only a girl like Paris Hilton gets when trying to decide what the new craze is and realizes that she MUST have one of those toy size dogs that come in a little handbag to carry around! Yep. Same look. My sister decided she wanted the new craze- a baby. Thanks hollywood! So, her boyfriend cuts down on the caffeine. Caity starts reading magazines on getting pregnant. The need for the newest, hottest item has set her on a determined road to MOTHERHOOD. Funny. I just shouted out the word MOTHERHOOD when I was talking about my baby sister, who yes, is 22, but has the mentality, still, of a 12 year old! So, what happens? She gets pregnant. And OY! Imagine a 12 year old getting pregnant and the drama they must be with all those hormones! I’m crazy when I’m pregnant and I’m actually a WOMAN! So, she of course has the perfect pregnany and does all the things she needs to do to avoid the genetic surety that is stretch marks and is instantly connected to the LIFE that is growing within her- let’s just say that never happened for me my first time. I was far from connected to that rude thing inside of me that was invading my space! Love her now though! Flash forward to her having the baby. She is now engaged. Her fiancee, herself, and their new son (who depends on them for LIFE’S neccessities) moves in with my parents in their already stifling, cramped split-level home. My mom and I stayed up ALL NIGHT LONG the night before they arrived rearranging the bedrooms so that it would be more comfortable and organized for them when they came home. It was destroyed in a DAY. It’s never gone back to being that way again. Talk about grateful. Since these kids have lived with my parents they have not payed a single bill (my mom even buys the diapers and formula), they leave dirty diapers lying around in the front room, my sister makes my mom stay up with the baby until 4 in the morning because she is just too tired to do it (this has been a regular thing. My mom stays up with the baby while the new parents sleep away. My mom has woken up exhausted every morning!), they don’t clean up after themselves (i.e. dishes, vaccumming, laundry), they don’t make themselves food, and they pawn the baby off on my parents whenever they need to shower or to just go out and party! How nice would it be to have a housekeeper, nanny, and someone to pay all your bills when you become a new mommy? Hell, even if you weren’t a new mommy it would be nice! My sister, even after ALL that my mom does for them, complains ALL the time that she’s sooo tired! She even makes Scott stay home from work occasionally because she’s so tired and just can’t do it and is too frustrated! Boo FREAKING Hoo! !$#*!$#*! Did I mention that she thinks that because she got mastitis right after the baby was born that she had it soooo hard? No? Well, she did! Poor thing. All in all, my sister got what she wanted- a new toy/pet (which reminds me- they also pawned off their ginormous dog on my parents) and my mom and dad became new parents with all the responsibilities! The funny thing is- the children are trying to buy a new home (her fiancee inherited money) yet they can’t even afford to pay my parents ANYTHING (their bills have more than doubled since they moved in) and force my mom to buy diapers and food because they wait until they are all out and my mom doesn’t want her grandson to suffer! Did I tell you- they named him Wolfgang? Ugh! Ok, I’m sure there are some who think that name is alright and all but this Aunt doesn’t! Especially when they call him by the pet name- Wolfy. GAG!

SIGH! That felt AMAZING to get off my chest! Even though that only skimmed the surface- I could go on to write a novel! Don’t you have some great cousins? I say we go kick our dear Dusty in the balls so he can’t procreate anymore! Love ya!

My sister and husband had two babies back to back. They are 20 months apart and for two LONG years I listened to my sister and her husband tell me how “they just have to look at each other” to get pregnant. gag gag gag. After one family get together my brother in law told me that my decision to marry a “non-member” was the reason God wouldn’t give us a baby. (Oh you should have seen the daggers fly!) Any way after what seemed to be an eternity we were blessed with healthy twins. We tried again when the twins were 12 months for a year. Nothing so we were content with our family. Then three years ago I had the flu. This flu is now two and brings us so much joy. This Christmas I wasn’t feeling good. Hesitantly I took a pregnancy test…positive. I am expect another and we were on birth control.

The sister I mentioned before, couldn’t get pregnant again for seven years. They tried several drugs and she even had a surgery to see if anything was wrong in the “plumbing”. They went to the fertility clinic to do IVF and the doctor told them to take a two month break then come in for the necessary drugs and shots. During this time our parents took all of my siblings and spouses on a cruise. She got pregnant. So I guess all you need is a $26,000 holiday on a boat!

Amandas last blog post..‘Tis the Season

I used to work as a social worker at a homeless shelter. About 5 days after my 2nd miscarriage, a woman in the shelter for her second time with her 4 children told me she was pregnant and thinking about getting an abortion because she was pregnant by an African-American and her boyfriend would be angry. And the boyfriend – white and in prison for attempted murder. That’s the only time where I almost physically harmed someone. Seriously, not sure how I stayed on my side of the desk.

[...] got to read the entire post to catch the amazing humor in her writing style, but that was the segment that just about made me [...]

I miscarried at 11 weeks…and it killed me when ever I saw this other pregnant “girl” at the pool that summer (looked like she had a due date near my original due date) SMOKING!!!! Every time I see a pregnant woman smoking I think. Why do you get to be pregnant when you are damaging your body and exposing your unborn to that poison and my “perfectly healthy” body hosts babies that stop growing and then spits them out?

heidis last blog post..Letters and Drawings By Maesyn

blowing some of my fertilness (sp? is it even a word) your way, I am done with it, I don’t need it.

It’s people like you (and others) that really make me think about surrogacy…I could make some family really happy.

Sure I’d have to straighten out my smoking and other bad habits…but…

it can happen

staciesmadnesss last blog post..Flying WITH kids

my cousin convinces his parents to let his “friend girl” live with them till she joins the army. before she makes it to the army SUPRISE! She’s pregnant… but wait it might not be his. awkward. anyway turns out the boy is like his clone no Paternity test. They get married when the little boy is like one. Oh happy day! and within weeks of the wedding BAM pregnant again. has this new girl child 9 mo. later. they are on welfare and all that jazz and she leaves him frequently then comes back. so over Christmas they come to the fam x-mas party. BAM pregnant again. now there is a healthy family life. like really. if you frequently consider divorce it might be time to stop having sex.

Kells last blog post..Excuse me? Attention Everyone! We’re in The Witness Protection Program!

in college an RA walked by me while i worked the desk every day. just knew her enough to say “hi, niki”.

one day, she walked in w/ a baby probably 2 months old.
i asked who it was.
it was HERS.

turned out, she hid her pregnancy from everyone. including her mom. then she went to bio lab. left and broke water in bathroom. ambulance took her to hospital and she had her baby (on my birthday). called her mom that night to say- mom? i just had a baby. can you take care of her while i finish school?

turns out she was on track to be a doctor. i graduated before her; but she was still around and doing well for 2 years and the daughter would come visit some weekends.

hmmmmm wonder what happened to them.

mpotters last blog post..nothing to see here

It is so hard for me to hear all of these women struggling with fertility issues. I have quite a few friends who have had to go the Chlomid, IVF route to get pregnant…some successful and some not so successful. For the life of me I can’t figure it out. It took us 14 months to conceive our daughter and then we got pregnant with her brother the first month we tried. We talked about having a third child, but decided we were blessed with two, healthy kids. My husband had his appointment scheduled for his procedure and two weeks before the appointment we found out we were pregnant. We were only intimate one time without protection…once. It still shocks me. I will have a three year old, a two year old and a newborn. CRAZY! I will continue to pray for you that you are able to have more children. Maybe if you stop trying it will happen. I don’t know. This life sure doesn’t make much sense these days.

When I was pregnant with my first child (after fertility treatments), one day I was talking to my landlord’s niece (17, had 2 or 3 kids already and was pregnant again). She exclaimed, “I’m going to have my baby before you because my water broke!” (I was due in July, this was in March.)

She had her baby in August. Talk about ignorant – she didn’t have a clue how far along she was in pregnancy when she’d been through it before! Grrr. I wonder if she ever had prenatal care – they would have been able to tell her a real due date.

I agree with what many have said – it doesn’t seem to make sense that people who don’t take care of themselves have children, people who don’t take care of their children have more children, but people who would be caring parents are denied the opportunity. I don’t have an answer for that.

I am sorry I dont have much to share here, but just want to say that I really loved your write-ups here. They are simple yet quite thought provoking. I got to your blog through Facebook BlogNetworks…
Tc

Afaques last blog post..We Condemn War

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