When I get into heaven the person who invented the epidural had better be sitting on a plush golden throne with massagers and personal waiters. I will go up to them kiss their feet, offer them cake and show them my boobs. (Okay so maybe not the boobs.)
However when and if I ever come across the the MAN who came up with prenatal vitamins? I will kick him in the crotch, throw lemon juice in his eyes and run in the opposite direction. Only a man would make a woman swallow something the size of their thumb when pregnant or trying to get pregnant.
“Oh but they’re not the size of your thumb!” you say.
Next I had a box of samples that claimed to be small.
See that? SMALL FILM COATED PRENATAL VITAMINS.
My thumb says otherwise.
The quarter takes the pills claim of being small, gives it the bird and a big B.S. YOU STUPID PILL.
As if the horse pills weren’t enough there has been a new development in the prenatal vitamin front since I was pregnant.
Not one horse pill a day but TWO! BONUS!
Now back in the day I would divide my prenatal into halves, quarters, sixths, hell I’d even stick it on a toothpick and suck on it all day like lollipop. With the introduction of the horse pill’s evil gelatinous brother I’m afraid that prenatals are dead to me.
REALLY! I’m not even pregnant and the thought of swallowing these things makes me ill.
Dear pharmaceutical companies. If the Flinstones can make a small tasty chewable vitamin when they still drive with their feet why can’t you make a tasty prenatal. SRSLY.