House flippers must be optimistic, masochistic, jerky people.

Optimistic because frankly after some of the houses I’ve walked into over the last month? You would need a really sunny disposition and glass half full mentality to even envision anything but a pee stained hole in the walls hot mess of a house. Even if I had the guts to flip a house I could never live in it, or comfortably allow someone else to live in it after seeing just what existed there before.

(P.S. In case you don’t follow me on twitter or you’re not my parents or grandparents, Cody and I have been looking for a house in Indy since February with him graduating and having a job and all that stuff, celebrate! whee! squee! And we’re done, house hunting sucks, I’m not even going to call it hunting because no one goes hunting as much as we’ve gone hunting and comes back empty handed.)

(P.P.S. If you do follow me on twitter or you are my parent or grandparent sorry for all of the false hope “WE OFFERED ON A HOUSE!” followed by “Nevermind, some other person bid $2K over us and got our house.” back and forth stuff. Really, sorry.)

Anyway, back to house flippers. I say masochistic because some of these “investment opportunities?”

OH. MY.

There was the one on Orchid Ln. that was charming all except for the fact IT HAD NO CEILING. Then there was Oakdale Dr, lovely in every way except for the foundation buckling and falling out from underneath the house. Then there was Herbert St. where I’m pretty sure an old crazy cat lady died, leaving her cats to eat her face for a month and her death was only discovered because of THE SMELL THAT WAS COMING FROM THE HOUSE.

I could go on for a while, dungeon bedrooms, bathrooms with no sinks, mouse turds in the upstairs closet, showers in kitchens and freezers growing hair. Not to mention the things PEOPLE. DO. TO. THEIR. CARPET. Blech.

I call house flippers jerks because they go in and pretty a place up with new! paint! smell! clean stain free carpet, maybe some poorly laid laminate flooring and a few new ding and dent appliances, jack up the price because it does look deceptively appealing to a weary homebuyer. All in a feeble attempt to distract you from the fact the plumbing exploded, it used to be a meth lab and your new neighbors are regulars on Jerry Springer and/or the county jail scene.

The right house is out there for us somewhere, but I swear, if one more person sneaks a bid past us and gets the house I wanted I’m going to start sneaking dead fish into their curtain rods.

Comments

  1. A Jill of All Trades says:

    Well, you do know where they (will) live. ;)

    LOL

    A Jill of All Tradess last blog post..When I look at the television, I want to see me staring right back at me.

  2. lol, I like the dead fish idea.

    midwest mommys last blog post..No Words

  3. Hoping that your house hunt will come to an end soon with the most awesome house you can imagine (or afford *wink*)

    Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Still alive

  4. The cool thing is that prices are better now than they were even a year ago and you can just keep looking until you find YOUR house. Don’t take it personally. When you find the right one you’ll be glad the others fell through.

    Headless Moms last blog post..Parenting the Hard Stuff-Part 3

  5. Reason #987 why we’ve always offered the asking price. Have bought 3 houses and have never been outbid..I might end up paying $5k more then I “should” but it’s worth it not to stress about it.

    Oh, and carpet can be pulled out pretty darn quickly and easily…even if you have to live on unfinished floors for awhile. Not that we’ve done that our anything.

    You’ll find one and make it yours.

    ikate/kakatys last blog post..Feed the Need

  6. First:

    YAY!Cody is almost DONE WITH LAW SCHOOL!
    Second:
    Cody has a job!!
    Third:
    YOU CAN AFFORD A HOUSE!

    Last: Dude, it blows when someone tries to screw you over, even in a buyers market like it is now. Many hisses and boos them-ward. And I am sure when the Perfect House comes, you will hear a chorus of angels singing as you walk into the (hopefully large) kitchen and bake to your little heart’s content.
    (be sure to make lots food porn when ya do, ok?)

    Emilys last blog post..Baptist Girl Can’t Dance

  7. It took us a long time to find a house and we saw some crazy ass stuff in our search as well.

    As for the ones you bid on, there is always a reason that you lost out on those homes. If we hadn’t lost out on our version of those homes, we would never have found the house we have lived in for the last four years. And I loooove our house. You will find yours – don’t despair.

    dianas last blog post..The Mortgage Donkeys (or where I call no one an ass)

  8. My parents bought this fixer upper from hell house. The people kept live chickens under the kitchen sink and instead of washing down kitchen walls they painted over the grease. Surprizing because the old owner NEVER CLEANED THE FLOOR -EVER. Making that house move inable (hey new word!) took months. It took years of projects to make it a nice place to live. But it was totally worth it. I guess that’s why I like the DIY thing. Either that, or I was exposed to too many toxic paint fumes as a kid.

    Condo Bluess last blog post..Are ecostore Plant Based Cleaners Grease Fighters?

  9. I can’t wait until the day you tell me you got the perfect place, with a huge backyard & swingset for the moosh and an extra bedroom for me!

    heather…s last blog post..A Pound And A Half

  10. Let me know if you get desperate… my mom may consider selling sooner than she’s planning (shes just north of indy). I don’t know your location or price ranges but it may be worth it, if you’re interested.

    Erikas last blog post..So Much for Decision Making!

  11. It sounds like you need a better Realtor to advise you on an offer price (they should also be able to find out if other offers are in on a house).

    I agree with the other posters – you’ll find the right one – it just takes a while sometimes!

  12. You HAVE to go take a look at “It’s Lovely, I’ll Take It!” blog. It’s the worst of the worst and may make you laugh…before you cry! It’s put me in tears, laughing, many a time!

    http://www.lovelylisting.com/

    mamabecks last blog post..The week of W.O.R.K

  13. stink about the house hunt – serious stink.

    I’m actually a fan of restoration projects – if done properly with good intension of course.

    promise me that if you do go out and buy a dump, it’s in my neighborhood ok? we got plenty of those too.

    DesignHER Mommas last blog post..I Bleed Green – usually

  14. Who honestly really needs a ceiling?

    Avitables last blog post..Lovebugs: a lovestory

  15. just thinking… you may want to increase your price point…

    kj @ Where my boys at?s last blog post..Key West, why were you so cold?

  16. Ah yes, househunting is truly the best of times and the worst of times. Hopefully you’ll find what we did — after spring break, when people will start to drop their asking prices because they realize they want to move before school starts next fall.

  17. Our house was flipped before we bought it. (It’s our first home.) The people who flipped it were jerks. You should see the half-assed job they did on EVERYTHING! Just this week we’ve had to buy gutters (because there were none!) and replace every single window in the house. Add the fact that not a single outlet in EITHER bathroom works, and one might call this place a lemon. (Or you could do what we like to do and blame the home inspector. Ok, not really. We’re just stooooopid.)

    Jen L.s last blog post..Comfort Food Saturday: Cheesy Shrimp and Grits

  18. My mom lived without a kitchen ceiling for about 20 years and didn’t get air conditioning until the mid-nineties. Not that this makes you feel better.

    Seriously though, I just know you’re going to find a great one. My neighborhood (close to Broad Ripple — fun!) has several cute homes with much more reasonable prices than you would have seen a year ago.

    Hang in there. It will be so worth it!

    Kets last blog post..Greetings from the Sheraton

  19. Dead fish, unwrapped condoms, & panties everywhere. That’s what I’d leave.

    I hate carpet. Wood floors are the way to go. Or tile…

  20. I could do the same post, but the other side…

    what buyers want to next to nothing.

    I will refrain…for now. ;)

    Good luck, I hope you find what you are looking for!

    staciesmadnesss last blog post..It’s official

  21. It took my mom a YEAR to find her house. She lived with me for three months, house-sat for friends for three months and lived at a nursing school dorm for the other six.

    But now – her house is awesome. Your house is out there!!!

    Reeses last blog post..Seedlings

  22. Good luck with your house hunting – I have just been through the process and know how incredibly frustrating it can be.

    Maddies last blog post..6 Natural Acne Scar Remedies

  23. michelle says:

    We bought a house last november. it SUCKED.

    Almost all of the homes on the market were “distressed properties”. (=people couldn’t pay for them so they trashed them)

    We got a good price for the size of the house but we have found MANY surprises our home inspector didn’t find. Holes in walls which were covered when we looked through, water-damaged bathroom floors, windows that won’t lock… etc.

    Good luck. I’m sure your experience will be better than mine. :)

  24. I can totally understand your feelings as someone who used to help agents with their clients, and two, as a friend aspect because my friend Theresa is looking for a house right now and really having a hard time getting the “perfect one”… specifically because people keep STEALING her houses!

    i wish you the best of luck, darlin!

    Heathers last blog post..I Do, I Do..

  25. Are people still flipping? It seems like the economy has slowed them down – or at least it should. I think we’ll be seeing more people take care and put more time in the houses they sell. I bought my house when it was a seller’s market. I saw it at 9 and bought it by Noon. I got lucky. We looked last year and tried to sell our house and the whole process was pure hell. We decided just to stay put. Hope yours goes better than mine!

    Amber Warrens last blog post..Which Reusable Diapers are the Best for Me?

  26. it is out there, and it will be perfect.
    i know this.

    hi. i am a bad friend. i’m sorry.

    rachel-asouthernfairytales last blog post..She’s Got Legs: PSF

  27. First of all, you are braver than me, looking at a house on Orchid! *shudders* I’ve been following your blog for a minute, but this was the thing that made me speak up, so yeah. Having just moved into a new place, and struggling to find somewhere, I know what you mean- I hope you find somewhere super awesome!

    Wendys last blog post..Book reviews for February

  28. I can’t really tell from your post if you’re ok with renovating or if you’ve just ended up looking at some really lousy houses…but if you’re interested, I live next door to a foreclosed house in a good neighborhood. The outside of the house is beautiful brick. Inside? Well, I know that the pipes burst after the owners moved out. I’m sure it needs a TON of work (ceiling repair where the pipes burst, and new flooring throughout the downstairs, I’ve heard), but it wasn’t a house that was being actively trashed while the people were living there. Unfortunately, it’s been sitting empty for quite a while now, and I don’t know what surprises are in there. I do know that all of us on my street are wishing someone would buy the damn thing, though.

  29. I’ve bought 3 houses and sold 1 and none of them were fun.

    Nicoles last blog post..Not Going Out in March Week #4 Review

  30. I in no way miss buying our first house. It was awful in so many ways.

    We ended up with a cute starter home. I am a renter again but next time I buy a house I am praying it is in a price range that I can get out of the scary places. Probably not because where I want to buy is in the nice area so the houses get to be crappy in my price range!

    Crossing fingers for finding your new house!

  31. Hang in there! Trent and I searched for a house for 2 YEARS! before we found one that was in our price range and accepted our offer. And it all happened in 2 months! It’ll happen when the time is right! Everything falls into place. Keep your head up. Best of Luck house hunting.

  32. Our house hunt was a nightmare too. Just stay away from 3850 E New York St….that’s what pops into my head every time I think of Indy :/

  33. I am right there with you!

    Bries last blog post..This one time, the cat was under the bed…

  34. My husband and I have been flipping houses for five years. We’re optimistic non-jerks, but we do the flipping the right way. We fix all of the problems, generally starting with the plumbing and wiring. However, there are a lot of jerks out there that try to make a quick buck without properly repairing everything, and hoaxing new buyers with royal piles of bs. I just hope karma gets them, because it’s sad that they give everyone else a bad name.

    Amanda of Shamelessly Sassys last blog post..Conversations: OMG, I’m Getting a Unicorn!

  35. All I can say is I know whereof you speak. For as much of an incredible thing having your own home is the process leading up to it sucked rocks.

    Good luck!

    WMs last blog post..Look Mom, Barbie sprained her Crotch

  36. Check homes that are for sale by owner. We are in Evansville, IN and just snagged a great home that was FSBO.

    We also saw many, many crapstastic houses during our “hunt”. Hope you have better luck soon!

    talinas last blog post..Gestational diabetes screening in pregnant woman, how my situation unfolds.

  37. We’ve been looking for a home since last June. No luck so far, but we’re hoping that it happens this year (can’t beat the rates and the $8000 tax credit is awesome). I’m glad to hear Cody got a job – that’s got to be comforting with such high jobless rates!

  38. So much for the buyers market, eh?? I have a coworker looking for a house w/ similar issues. UGH. Can you ask your realator to please show you houses that don’t stink or suck??

    Michelles last blog post..What are the Chances??

  39. so true about “jerky people” :)

    Niche Socializers last blog post..Niche Socializer is For Niche Marketing

  40. My house is for sale right now – wanna move to Toronto?

    Don Mills Divas last blog post..Are you there God? It’s me, Kelly

  41. I’d consider another realtor (if you’re not in love with your current one). A really good realtor will steer you clear of the obvious disasters – either they will check them out first or get feedback from other realtors who have seen them – they have a tight network.

    Also, what area of town are you looking in?

    punkinmamas last blog post..daycare FAIL

  42. What side of town are you looking at- any particular? I love our little neighborhood on the near eastside (I know a lot of people think the whole of the east side of Indy is icky, but it really isn’t- it is a great little area!). I live in Emerson Heights (www.emersonheights.org)- hope it’s ok to post that- just FYI. We have some great homes already redone, and then some that need some work- but great neighbors and close to everything. We’re actually being nominated for a historic register neighborhood. Just food for thought if you’re looking in or around this side of town!! Best of luck!

    Oh, and if you DO want more info about our neighborhood, let me know!

  43. We haven’t yet started looking for our new house, so thanks for the warning! (Sheesh…we thought that was going to be the FUN part!)

    On the other hand, the house we have to sell isn’t smelly, has a ceiling and isn’t a meth lab, so SCORE!!! We may just be able to sell the darned thing after all!

    Colleen – Mommy Always Winss last blog post..The Ultimate Slacker Mom confession

  44. A word of advice from this first-time home buyer. In 2002 I bought a house. Everything seemed great. Then I met my neighbors and had to put up a few thousand dollars worth of fencing. Then the tile fell off the bathroom wall. Then I had to install laminate flooring 3 times only to finally give up and get tile. Here’s my advice: buy a new house. It’s worth the cost just to preserve your sanity!

    Melissas last blog post..Northern Arizona

  45. Isn’t it crazy?! Oh my gosh! Every time I go to look at a property with a buyer, it’s either sold already, has multiple offers in already or is a giant craphole and needs to be burned down.

    I mainly work with people who buy investment properties. My mom buys forclosures and fixes them to sell (she doesn’t half-butt the job, though. She loves doing this work.) and some are looking for renters. With the market right now, all the forclosed properties and all the people who can’t BUY and need to rent, investment properties are huge. I’m not sure what it’s like in your area, but in mine, some areas are starting to recover and get rid of that inventory but some are just starting to feel it. Anyway, most of these people are the ones out there trying to save the economy – all in spite of themselves, it seems. They’re the ones bringing property values back up. :) Which, yes, sucks for buyers. But it’s good in the long run. ;)

    Good luck, Casey! Oh- and your Realtor should always be asking if there are other offers in on the house. The agent doesn’t have to tell you, but they probably will. Either way, the advice I give my buyers is, “Offer your best offer first.” Don’t expect a counter-offer or for them to accept a lowball offer. If you offer what you really WANT to pay – what you can afford and what you value the house at – and they don’t accept it, then it REALLY wasn’t meant to be. But if you’re lowballing hoping they’ll come back with an offer, then you might be missing out.

    Okay, I’ll shut up now, but good luck, hon! I hope you find the house that’s perfect for you guys! And get it! :)

    ButrflyGardens last blog post..Trashy