moosh in indy.

April 9, 2009

This is my friend Heather (Hedder.)

About a year ago I put Hedder through a DTI interview. (Determine the relationship interview.(And no, I’m not kidding.)) I don’t throw around the term Best Friend loosely and I certainly don’t want to be handing it out to people who are only mutually lukewarm to my existence. After Hedder passed the DTI, she was promoted into the ranks with Kim.
And then Heather and Kim met, and we took pictures.

This photo is one of the single best moments of my life.
Many of you know that Kim’s world was torn apart last year by an adoption scam, a terrible miscarriage that nearly resulted in her death, a difficult foster situation and yet another flaming pile of adoption crap. (All of this happened within the span of 6 months.)
Most of you should already know that Heather’s world was torn apart less than 36 hours ago when her only daughter (who just happens to be the cutest daughter of anyone, including me) passed away at 17 months from complications with an everyday sick bug and her tiny frail premature body. Despite the fact that her body was tiny and frail it was big enough to contain the biggest, sweetest spirit of any child I’ve met.
the moosh and the moo became fast friends over their mutual love of cream puffs, little white dogs, giggles and all things sugar.

I’ve watched Kim over the last year recover from her immense loss and pain. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been worth it. I know the Heather that pole danced and sang “I want you to want me” in Nashville is broken right now. Part of her heart, if not her whole heart, left when Maddie left this life. I know that the Heather that talks in her sleep(A LOT. It’s like sleeping to the evening news broadcast.) isn’t sleeping so well. I know that the Heather who abhorres the bottoms of peoples feet will never be the same.
But I know the Heather I’ve grown to fall in love with is still in there. I know that over time that Heather will be back. Changed, but no less lovable.

I love you Hedder Spohr like mold.
So many people do.
I wish this wasn’t you. I wish the only dramatic change in your life was a spike in your Master Card interest rate. (Master Card? Suck it.) But I know you know that I know you know that I know where Maddie is, and that you’ll see her again. For eternity. With no hospitals, no RSV, no oxygen rockets, no breathing treatments (and maybe no code browns, that would be nice right?)
And I’ll be right here the whole time. From a distance, in your face, online and in person.

Yesterday in my mad dash to fly across the country in less than 24 hours I left my computer screen open and the moosh saw this photo.

“LOOK! It’s Maddie smiling because she’s so happy to be up in heaven with Jesus.”

Yes. She is.

*******

No one should ever have to bear the burden of losing a child, let alone paying for a child’s funeral services. A paypal account is set up for the Spohr family, donations greatly appreciated. formaddie (at) hotmomreviews (dot) com.

A P.O. Box has also been set up for cards, notes, letters, gift certificates, puppies, packages and massive amounts of Canadian Smarties. (So maybe no puppies.)

Mike & Heather Spohr
11870 Santa Monica Blvd. #106-514
West Los Angeles, CA 90025

Comments off.

You are a beautiful friend. And Heather is a beautiful person.

I’m crying and can’t figure out much more to say.

But thank you, thank you, thank you. For being there for her.

Marias last blog post..Madeline Alice

Casey you are beautiful.

Kristins last blog post..Give your kids a little extra squeeze today for Maddie Spohr

This was perfect. I am hopeful for Heather now and in the days to come. You are a very good friend.

Steph

Stephanies last blog post..Cameradelic

and here I though I had cried all my tears. Hedder is so lucky to have you! Love you muchas Casey.

Jens last blog post..An Unspeakable Loss

You are the best friend a girl could wish for.

You are carrying on your back (or in your fabulous purse) the hugs and thoughts and prayers of the entire internet community who can’t be there in person.

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]s last blog post..Holding my babies tighter

Such a lovely post. Heartbreaking but lovely.

Major Bedheads last blog post..A Little Girl Lost

That made my heartbreak so much more. It’s what I keep thinking about: How will Heather and Mike be after this? They won’t be the same and having had the pleasure of meeting them both (including Mike making the noise he would make for Maddie to get her to smile)…it’s just…God, I cannot even imagine how you get through something like this if ever. It’s unspeakable and unfathomable.

From one Hedder to another; she is loved and funny and amazing. And we’re all right here behind you.

what a wonderfully beautiful homage to your friend.
I pray you’re able to give her comfort and channel the positive energy that all us “stalkers” are sending her way.

Ceeces last blog post..Happy Fathers Day

I am so glad she has you right now. I have no idea how people survive a loss like this, but I can’t help but to think that friends like you might be able to pull her through by loving her THIS much.
Thank you for writting this-I’m going to call my BFF.
*sob*

MrsMessinesss last blog post..Thank you, God for our healthy babies.

This is such a beautiful post. I don’t know you or Heather–just found out about everything yesterday but I feel like my world has been torn a part so I can’t even imagine what you all are going through. She’s lucky to have such wonderful and loving friends. I have been praying for everyone and hope her heart will heal some day.

samantha jo campens last blog post..Empty

what a beautiful tribute… thank you for being a good friend and going to Heather in her time of need. Everyone deserves a friend like that.

fidgets last blog post..Spring Break

I still cannot believe this. I’m just shaken and I hurt for her so much. I’ve donated and I’m walking in Nashville, but I’ll have to think what to send. Everything is so inadequate to this monstrous task.

Amy2 boyss last blog post..Word To Yo Momma

I’ll take the ‘get drunk and forget’ part of the relationship and you can hold our hair, k??

Beautiful post by a beautiful woman FOR two of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met.

VDogs last blog post..Madeline Alice Spohr

Hug Hedder from the whole internets!

Be safe and let me know if you need anything.

The Bossy Yankees last blog post..Madeline Alice Sphor

You are wonderful for flying to her side–

Must Be Motherhoods last blog post..Grace in Small Things 13 of 365

Wow. I’m really sorry to hear about your friend Heather’s loss. I’m glad that she has friends like you looking out for her during this difficult time. I’ll pray for her and Mike.

ListenToLeons last blog post..I’m Telling On My Age…

No words – just crying crying crying right now.

Miss Britts last blog post..I’m doing something right

[...] Casey got inside of my head and found exactly what I had been thinking; How does a beautiful, happy couple move on after an unspeakable loss? Is that even possible? Everything that once was now isn’t and what was par for the course last Friday isn’t anymore. Or maybe I’m just not strong enough to go through something like that without collapsing myself. In fact, I KNOW that I’m not strong enough to go through losing my (hypothetical) child because it’s not natural. It shouldn’t happen and again, I must repeat, we can find cures to illnesses and make vaccines for everything and we can fix physical heart ailments with a transplant or a surgery but when it’s broken – almost beyond repair – it makes me angry to wonder why the **** no one can fix that. Posted by nopasanada @ 11:08 am [...]

Casey, this was the perfect blend of happiness and sadness. Heather is so lucky to have such wonderful friends.

Andrea’s Sweet Lifes last blog post..Co-Parenting

This is a beautiful tribute, sorry for your pain too. My prayers to Heather and her family….

Short Pump Preppys last blog post..fredflare – gadget love

I’ve cried so much for this family I don’t even know. Moosh’s piercing insight got me started all over again.

Blessings on you, Casey, for a beautiful tribute and for being there in every sense of the word for your friend Heather.

Megan@SortaCrunchys last blog post..Holy Week: Thursday

so very sad.
my thoughts are with the Spohr family!

staciesamadnesss last blog post..You Capture

Beautiful, beautiful post.

It’s heartwarming to know Heather and Mike have such wonderful friends taking care of them right now.

Heather is one of my BFF’s as well, and I too will be there taking a flight from NYC to LA next week. My heart breaks, and i havent stopped crying since I awoke at 4:20AM on tue/wed night. I knew something was wrong. I just knew. She is a strong, strong woman who will only become stronger bec of this.

mayas last blog post..Madeline Alice Spohr 2007-2009

So, so sad. Will continue to pray for parents who must face the day without their child. This next, indefinite phase of mourning is why they are so blessed to have friends like you.

Beautiful post about a beautiful lady and, clearly, a beautiful, enduring friendship.

Mauras last blog post..For Too Short a Time

Can you do me a favor? Of the many thousands of hugs you will be giving her over the next few hours, days, months, years, can one of them count from me? My heart is just broken for her.

midwest mommys last blog post..Friends

My thoughts and prayers are with Heather and Mike. May little Maddie be blessed in her new home with Jesus.

Pocklocks last blog post..For Maddie

Best friends are a beautiful thing.

Families are indeed forever.

Tammy and Parkers last blog post..Can You Guess

Really, really lovely post. It’s just so heartbreaking. Sending lots of love and peaceful vibes.

The Go-to Girls last blog post..heavy boots

it’s good to have people, isn’t it? i don’t know how anybody can make it with out their people.

give her big hugs from all of us who can’t come…

Bridgets last blog post..For The Spohr’s

This, this was probably the best post. This was beautiful and sweet and had it’s funny parts (like Heather). I don’t blog (because I procrastinate), I do, however, read blogs & yours & Heather’s are on my daily list. Your post yesterday brought me to tears, your post today, overwhelmed me with the love you have. Big hugs to Heather & Mike. And, big hugs to you, for your hurt, your pain.
And, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You are truly wonderful.

This was SO BEAUTIFUL. And when I read what the moosh said, it brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes kids (who are the closest to God) can say the most wonderful things. I’d heal you with Canadian smarties if I could.

Stephanies last blog post..Protected: My Last Day of Secrecy

That was a beautiful post. I don’t know what else to say, but now I have to go wipe my tears.

*hugs*

Chibi Jeebss last blog post..On making connections

I can’t even imagine the pain. I have never met or spoken to Heather but I still can’t stop crying. When I seem to get it together I look at my baby girl and tears flow again. My deepest sympathy’s

A beautiful post.

Alis last blog post..Non-Maternal Instincts

Heather is blessed to have you as a bestie.

Casey, this was just perfect. My heart is broken for all of you.

Heather is lucky to have such a wonderful friend in you. Please give her and Mike hugs for me. Love you guys.

[...] at Moosh in Indy, a very close friend to Heather, posted more ways to reach out in love to the Spohr family. Share and [...]

What an amazing post. I am so hearbroken for this family I have never met, nor even heard about until last week. I’m amazed at the out pouring of love from the internets that within 24 hours over $15,000 was raised for March of Dimes in precious Maddie’s name.

I cannot imagaine the pain and suffering all those effected are going through. But I too, know that they will see their precious Maddie again.

You’re an amazing friend. Thanks for inspiring us all.

What a wonderful post for such a wonderful woman. Many hugs to you all.

Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..I have no words

Moosh is so wise.

So sad.

Secret Agent Mamas last blog post..Brownie Revelation

loooooooove and miss you both so much! Give Heather a big room 411 hug for me.

Casey – we must get together ASAP and start planning the Hoosier edition of the Maddie walk when you get back.

It’s gonna be fierce!

DesignHER Mommas last blog post..For the love of a girl named Maddie

Wow. I haven’t met any of you, but that was the most beautiful, loving, heartfelt post. I have a huge lump in my throat. My thoughts and prayers have been with Heather and Mike and beautiful Maddie this week. God bless and keep everyone who is feeling the profound loss of such a beautiful young girl.

Anonymous New Yorks last blog post..Overheard in A New York Marriage*

my heart is broken for a woman i don’t know and i am crying for a baby i have never met, may they find some comfort in their memories of a beautiful child

I don’t know you or Heather, but I am crying just the same. Prayers and sympathies abound. She may not know it for a while, but you are the friend she needs. Now and a year from now when she might be or might not be beginning to heal.
Godspeed Madeline!

You said it.

Oh man, Casey… I just can’t come out of this haze. Thanks for making me smile just a little. This was a beautiful testimony of friendship. And I know Maddie is with Jesus. And I know that Heather has wonderful people to help her through this unimaginable time.

But dammit… you’re right… it’s not fair.

Sugar Joness last blog post..Remembering Maddie

Jesus would totally wear a diaper hat.

Praying for the grief of this family – praying for the peace that only comes from Him – praying their new normal will be better than they imagined – praying for everyone who loves this little girl and her mommy and daddy.

kristis last blog post..Things I love

beautifl beautiful post.

ms. changes pants while drivings last blog post..little earthquake

Beautiful and touching, Casey.

Avitables last blog post..A cat named Twitter

Well said, Casey. You are a good friend.

always home and uncools last blog post..Milestones

Casey you are such a good friend and so kind..

I know that’s kind of mushy and I’d love to say I’m sorry. But honestly I don’t know quite what to say…

It’s just….not. fair!

kristins last blog post..A Few Of MY Hallmark Pics

Really beautiful post!
Such a touching tribute to Heather, Maddie, and friendship.
Goodness knows friends & family are the best way to get through pain.
I haven’t met The Spohrs, but since my sister did, I feel a lot of pain for them.
Very glad you’re going to be with them!

I am crying again.

Casey…thankyou for sharing with us in this beautiful post. I am uplifted by your portrayal of true friendship. That is what friends are for…to lean on one another when needed. I feel like I know Heather and Mike and Maddie through Heather’s blog. They are blessed to have such a choice little spirit in their family. Families are forever.

they are lucky to have you.
my heart bleeds for them.
but i am amazed at the bloggers. absolutely. unbelievable.

melissas last blog post..Some Recipes From My Sick Bed To You. Minus the Snotty Kleenex. You’re Welcome.

Casey,
I love you.

Through the tears and through the laughter, through the pain and the light and the dark and the silly.

Anyone you let into your life is blessed. Heather is blessed to have you. We are all blessed to have you.

Thank you from the periphery.

rachel-asouthernfairytales last blog post..Oh Shell No

A beautiful tribute to a beautiful friend(s).

there’s canadian smarties and wunderbards already on their way to miss heather.

we should all be lucky enough to have bffs like you and heather.

hugs.

alis last blog post..…to see a man about some shoes

I can’t stop thinking of what it was like for them to go home and face all of her things.

Time stopped when she died.

I know, too, that only time can start the clock again.

mrs.chickens last blog post..The Garden Path

Casey, focus on Heather. Everything is good here in Indy. The Moosh ate much pizza and decided she doesn’t like root bear. She does, however, love Lebanon Bologna, so you are going to have to buy some of it for her. In our house, all vomiting has ceased, husband has been forgiven, my potty mouth has been washed out. So, don’t spend energy worrying about us. Focus on your friend and remember I love you.

what an amazing tribute to a mom whose life has changed forever. And moosh? I think she is *exactly* right. Out of the mouth of babes..

Michelles last blog post..Monday in Kansas City

i hope you are bringing some love from all of us to heather and mike. we embrace you all in warmth and peace in the days to come.

mommymaes last blog post..hold me closer

I cried so hard when I found out. I’d been covertly watching Maddie’s progress, and it’s a blow to see such a sweet girl leave this life. Huge massive hugs go to Mike & Heather, and I pray that they will find peace and the love of God in their hearts.

Bawling my eyes out. Oh how I miss Heather. Oh how I miss you. Oh how I miss the Maddie girl I never got to see. On Wednesday morning after a fitful night of sleep, I walked into Memms room and told her that Maddie had gone to live with Heavenly Father. She told me, “Yes mom, but we will see her again!” Yes we will!

Please give Heather Spohr like Mold a big hug and kiss for me. I have tried to no avail to be able to attend to her at this time. I love you both. I admire her strength. Thank you for this post which has me bawling my eyes out. Love you…love Heather…love Maddie.

Kimmies last blog post..Heartbroken.

Casey, this is wonderful and you are such a fabulous friend. Heather is lucky to have you, especially at a time like this. I’m sure you will bring her some peace and maybe even some laughter over the next few days to help ease her pain.

pgoodnesss last blog post..oof

From someone who does not know Heather but follows her blog, thank you for your beautiful words about and for her. I have not been able to get her and this devastating tragedy off my mind since finding out about it. I am crushed for her.

Susans last blog post..There are no words

Moosh, I’m glad that Heather will have friends like you around her at this time.

Please let Heather & Mike know we are praying for them. And when you get closer to your MOD walk in Indy, let us know. We’ll spread the word. It’s such a small gesture, but fitting to honor this amazing little girl.

Oh so sad for your friend and her husband. I could not imagine the pain, I know the good christian woman would say that all children belong to God. BUT, why not more time together. I’ll add this unknown couple to my prayers in hopes that they can cope with this horrible loss.

are we crashing remembermaddie.com? I can’t get it to load…

[...] blog. But other bloggers have linked to the March of Dimes page for donations, created heartfelt tributes to the family, setup PayPal accounts and mailboxes to help offset funeral costs and even organized volunteers to [...]

Love the Moosh’s comment. It’s just wrong for a child to die. I can’t stand it. (

The Moosh’s quote made me cry and smile…what a beautiful heart your baby girl has.

prayers going up for the Sphors (but not the mold)

Biddys last blog post..You CAN Find Love Online

Beautifully written. I love the pictures. I have to say I was crying when I started reading but Moosh’s comment put me over the edge.

Hugs!!

Kats last blog post..haiku friday – ann is at it again

Beautifully written. It made those of us who’ve never met Heather feel like we know her a little better.

We are all open-mouthed, speechless, and torn apart by what happened to Maddie. I can only pray for peace for Heather and Mike.

Megs last blog post..Challenge 4 AKA I’m a Camel

I can’t remember if I commented on this or not. It’s been a week.

I never had the pleasure of meeting Maddie, but her sweet face is forever imprinted in my mind. I find myself constantly amazed that she’s not at home with her parents right now. I just don’t know how it’s possible.

Also, in Greek, Mou (pronounced moo) means mine. It seems so right that her nickname was Maddie Moo.

Overflowing Brains last blog post..A Tragic Dose of Perspective

Beautiful post. I had only visited Heather’s site a few times before this week, but I was heartbroken to learn about Maddie. I was away from my computer all weekend for a family emergency of my own, but I wore purple in her honor every single day. They are so lucky to have great friends like you.

Jen L.s last blog post..Getting a new wheel

Crying again. I’m so glad you’re there for her.

threeundertwos last blog post..The Worst Easter Ever

My heart is breaking for Heather. I lost my niece in 2001 (and my sister, Wendy, lost her daughter). Alexis was born 16 weeks premature, but she held on for 3 days. Wendy now has two beautiful children, Connor – 4, and Raelee – 9 months. But the loss of little Alexis has never left our hearts. Every year since 2001 we walk for the March of Dimes. I will be praying for your friend and her family during this most difficult time in her life.

Melissas last blog post..Happy Easter!

I just now had some extra time to sit down and get caught up on blogs that I haven’t been able to read lately and I read this. This was such a beautiful post.

My heart goes out to the Spohr family.

You are a wonderful friend. I knew I had more tears to shed for Maddie, Heather and Mike – you brought them springing from my eyes.

This is a beautiful post – I will keep thinking of the whole Spohr family and keep wearing my purple.

ExtraordinaryMommys last blog post..My, those stirrups look good on you!

Girl!!!! SOOO beautiful! I JUST don’t want this to be happening!!!!!!!!!!!!

Janice (5 Minutes for Mom)s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Easter Candy

[...] reasons. And I understand in my own way why things like this happen. But why did He have to go and mess with my two best friends in less than a year? Why did I come out [...]

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