Guess what I did.

OH NOES!

A) I lost to a cat in heat who confused my legs with a potential mate.

B) I lost to a brand new razor.

C) I lost to a jelly jar that smashed to smithereens on my freshly washed floor.

D) I lost to a weed whacker.

E) SWINE FLU! (So it’s cool I make a swine flu joke right? I never can tell with pandemics.)

F) Blood spatter from a very serious bloody nose of a very bloody child.

G) I fell down the stairs. (AGAIN.)

Things have been a little dull and dare I say depressing around moosh in indy in the month of April so what better way to spice things up than with a very mysterious, possibly macabre photo of my most loathed body part? Hang around long enough and my blog is likely to give you whiplash no personal injury lawyer will be able to prosecute.

I dare say I’m thisclose to a bulleted list of “happenings in mooshville.”

LIKE THE FACT THAT MY HUSBAND IS DONE WITH LAW SCHOOL IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS.

And before all you naysayers get all “OH BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BAR?” up in my face, shut up and let me be happy for like 27 minutes before bar prep starts.

Then there’s that little kid that runs around here announcing what I may or may not smell like. Or what the world may or may not smell like, I swear that kids sense of smell didn’t kick in until 5 months ago. Nothing like getting a morning hug and having the love of your life announce “MOM, YOU SMELL LIKE BUTT” or “WHOA MAMA WITH THE DRAGON BREATH!” or tell you that her butt is more awesome than yours because it doesn’t bleed AND IT’S NOT HAIRY.

moosh's magic pony

Which reminds me, has anyone seen my pride?

I had a wonderful birthday, thanks to everyone who gave me permission to make May my month since April is on my smells like butt poop list. So May it is. I’m even considering doing NaBlaPoMo for May.

And maybe my very first post will be to answer just what on earth happended south of the chubby kneequator.

Comments

  1. dude…that is all…just dude…

    I love your kid (ok that is all)

    Jens last blog post..Randome Tuesday Thoughts

  2. I’m really hoping it’s a broken jelly jar, that seems to be the least painful or chaotic. =)

    Happy belated birthday!

    Ambers last blog post..Family Visit and 4 month checkup

  3. Seriously?? You’re going to leave us hanging like that? Because if you did fall down the stairs, I need to know what they are made of – barbed wire??? :)

  4. Wow. This is what happens when I go a few days without talking to you. You get so crazed that you can’t walk down stairs or use a new razor. Oh how I purple puffy heart you.

    perksofbeingmes last blog post..March for Maddie

  5. But….. but wait…. BUT WAIT!

    That is JUST plain CRUEL.
    It’s two whole days until May!!

    Dellas last blog post..I think I figured out my problem

  6. I’m excited to hear all the goodness in mooshville that will be May!

    Megs last blog post..Fractured

  7. hmm im going to say jelly jar, only because of the “splatter” marks on the legs..otherwise id say razor ..eitehr way, you sure got our attention LOL..and btw, May, it WILL be better :)

  8. Going to guess the cat…the jelly jar is my second guess :)

  9. We are the same person. Last night I re-cut the area that I had sliced last week while shaving my legs.

  10. What in the hay-ell did you do to your legs, girl?!

    And my kid is all about smells lately too. except I think he makes things up. Because he claims he can smell dead geese bones and how would even know they smell like (plus, i can never smell anything when he’s going on about dead geese bones… so maybe it’s me because it has been a few days since I showered). Damn!

    Jills last blog post..WTF? Wednesday – Back with a vengeance

  11. Even wading through your ‘it smells like butt poop’ month, you are witty. You make me LAUGH EVERY TIME.

    I hope May smells nothing like butt poop.

  12. Happy belated birthday!

    And the bar? Copious amount of studying, but as long as he treats it like a job (8 hour study days for a few weeks), I’m sure he’ll be fine. Congrats on being done with law school!

    Kelleys last blog post..On Compliments

  13. I swear that I’m not giggling.

    Nope. not a bit.
    At least you weren’t crowned “stinky swamp juice breath”

    rachel-asouthernfairytales last blog post..Comment on Definitely Not The Standard by Shannanb aka Mommy Bits

  14. Rachel made me look, but now… I’m scared. If that was a razor, will you tell us what kind so we don’t use that brand?

    sarahs last blog post..Where A Piece Of Paper Goes on Vacation And We Don’t

  15. I’m hoping it’s C. Because the others would suck.

  16. You totally stole my secret guest post quote!

    Avitables last blog post..Ode to my grandfather

  17. My butt doesn’t bleed or isn’t hairy! I love the humor that is the Moosh!

  18. I’m guessing jelly jar. Just cause I’ve had nearly the exact same thing happen. Except it was a beer bottle, not a jelly jar. And it was in a bar, not in your kitchen.

    I think I’ll just shut up now.

    ashleys last blog post..Down With the Frog

  19. Ahh! That really looks like it hurt. I’m so sorry!
    Just to help you feel better I’ll share what happened when I fell down the stairs in December… beware… the pictures aren’t pretty! http://reyeshouse.blogspot.com/2008/12/i-broke-my-face.html
    I hope that you’re alright.

    I hope you’re able to bask in the 27 minutes of glory that your husband being done with law school affords you!

    Be careful… Stay away from those killer razors ;)

    Erikas last blog post..Relay for Life

  20. My legs often look like that after “breaking in” a new razor, so I’m answering, “B”

    Malias last blog post..Yanni Voices

  21. I vote jelly jar or bloody moosh nose. Yikes to either.
    Here’s to May!!!

    Jen L.s last blog post..Marjen (our official celebrity name, as used by the paparazzi)

  22. Um, speaking as a former IU law school widow, tomorrrow is. a. very. big. deal. I remember being able to cut the tension in Chateau L-S with a very, very dull butter knife during finals time.

    And sending you a little internet TLC for your poor wittle wegs. Whatever the cause, it must’ve hurt like the dickens. (End of crazy auntie voice)

  23. Hi!
    I’ve been following for awhile. But your right, April for you has sucked. I’m sorry. :(
    Anyway, I got your blog address from your dad (who works with my hubby.)
    My girls hate the “bleeding from your butt” too! :)

  24. Jelly jar! I read the tweet about your cool new mop!

    Amys last blog post..My Boys

  25. Totally jelly jar. And! I bet you did it on purpose so that you could use the steamer again. LOL

    Ya, Moosh and her sense of smell? FUNNY!

    Like on the weekend when she came into her bedroom asking “What’s that smell?” and plugged her nose. She *might* have just walked through a plume of toot. Just sayin’.

    Iz heart her. TONS!

  26. I’m hoping it was the nose bled. Am I right? Cheers to a wonderful May and many congrats on you surviving the husband finishing law school. Congrats to him too!

    OHmommys last blog post..Another business forced to close…

  27. Don’t think about bar prep. Just don’t. It’s horrible. Think about graduation and the hooding ceremony instead! Because C getting HOODED (hee) is way more fun than C doing more studying (boo). Best of luck to him though. I’m sure he’ll pass the bar on the first try.

    Here’s to a fabulous May! You deserve it!

    Melissas last blog post..pre-trip guilt trip

  28. I am guessing cat!? Am I right, or did you fall down those darn stairs again?

    Evonnes last blog post..FREE!

  29. I’m going with H) Shark Attack.

  30. ooops! I did sorta mention the BE on FB.

  31. bloody legs…
    dragon breath…
    hairy butt…

    you just want the internet to think you’re hawt.

  32. i don’t think you were ready for that jelly.

  33. Gotta go for the broken jelly jar, for your sake and for the sake of my eyes.

    all things BDs last blog post..You’re Gonna Love My Nuts

  34. Oh I hope it was C. Because the others are all too painful to think about. Hope May is kinder to you than April was!

  35. Angelique says:

    “Which reminds me, has anyone seen my pride?”

    Hahaha, loved it.

    It’s how I feel almost every day.

    This morning I got the, “Hey Mom, what’s this?” question from my five-year-old in regard to his testacles. Where the hell are the husbands when you need them?

    Hope that gave you a little chuckle and that May is a much better month for you!

  36. I’m going with jelly jar followed by new lady shaver. I’ve been hacked up by a cat and the blood patterns don’t match.

    May is my “smells like butt poop” month, but I hope it rocks for you.

    Jamies last blog post..Tied up…

  37. I LOVE YOUR BLOG. You make me smile.

  38. there’s nothing in the world like a dose of 4-year-old honesty, eh?

    (could be from a nose bleed. emily is queen of the nosebleeds and some of them have been, um, messy)

    alis last blog post..the guitar-toting, toothless nun.

  39. My vote is the new razor AND that pic of the Moosh is so cute. She looks like you in that one.

    Oh! and 1 more thing!
    WAHOO!!!! on the school thing!!!

    kats last blog post..Busy Busy Busy

  40. I think maybe I mentioned during your last stair-battle that I’m convinced I’m going to die from falling down a flight of stairs.

    I’ve done myself so much damage when it comes to stairs… twice fallen down them with a laundry basket – one time gouging the edge of the basket into my solar plexus (*OUCH*) and the other time scraping the front of both shins/ankles/feet on the last three stairs the DAY before a 5-day trip to Disneyland.

    And that’s only the beginning.

    Reeses last blog post..Dealz

  41. Amy in StL says:

    I’m guessing a new razor. I can’t seem to shave with a new razor without cutting myself either. Can’t they sell partially broken in ones or something?

  42. I’m guessing a nosebleed. Because it looks so splattery.

    Miss Graces last blog post..Girl Talk Thursday – Guilt Free $50

  43. I’m guessing jelly jar! I’m having a droppy day too, I dropped 3 pounds of brown sugar all over the kitchen floor today!

    Nicoles last blog post..Bake and Bake and Bake and Bake

  44. H) You killed 47 mosquitos?

  45. Or none of the above…you’ve gotten into Chinese torture methods and are paper cutting yourself to death.

    My birthday sucked this month too. Not as bad as yours, but still. Is something wrong with April this year?

    Hollys last blog post..The Birthday Saga

  46. That is CRAZY!!!!

    It looks soooo painful. I’m going to guess the jelly jar… but seriously girl… what DID you do???

  47. Oh goodness girlie!
    I hope it was just a crazy jelly jar.

  48. Ahhh… kids. Moosh is TOO CUTE. But you know that. :)

  49. JELLY. I HOPE

  50. I vote poor little Moosh nose. We got a lot of that at our house when the kids were little. The bathroom looked like a murder scene.

    Tear off that calendar page for April and move on now. Mother’s day is coming.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] BLOODY LEG PHOTO ANSWERS COMING TOMORROW! PROMISE! [...]