HI HI HI!

So it’s been about two and a half days since my innards were spelunked and I currently feel as though there is a very full puce colored balloon in my tummy that just has to be full of very nasty noxious gut gas. Got a visual on that? Good.

Just imagine the worst gas of your life but not being able to get it out the front or the back.

(Which reminds me. What did the stomach say to the burp? Give up? “I’ll let you out the back if you go quietly.” HA!)

So far the shoulder pain that a lot of you warned me about hasn’t been much of a bother. Of course from the way my last post reads and the way a lot of my tweets have been sounding I’m not sure I’ve felt much of anything over the past 48 hours let alone been coherent enough to comprehend any of it.

twiitez!

So I hurt. A lot. But my spirits are spry as a spring chicken.

Know why?

Because I have an answer! A timeline! HURRAH!

Now if any of you want to fill in the blanks because you’ve had this happen to you as well I’d appreciate it. I’d go out googling it but last time I did that I found out about teratomas and OH MY GOSH my doctor pulled a teratoma out of a girl a few weeks ago that had AN EYELID WITH EYELASHES IN IT.

The plan is to shut down my reproductive parts for six months with some sort of shot. (I got this news from Cody, he said “it sounded like something like, uh, Dem-uh, I don’t remember but it’s a shot.“) Now I won’t get the official MEDICAL definition and description of what’s going to be next until my follow up appointment but I can tell you that I like that where Dr. SallyForth is going with this. To know that for six months I can just live my life, let my little uterus get her freaking act straight and then assault her like a rabbit in heat when all is healed and taken care of. (Did you get a good visual on that too? YOU’RE WELCOME!)

Things I’ve learned while being laid out and gassed up?

Daytime TV stinks.

Simply willing food to appear in front of you does not work.

Many many women have all sorts of nasty things done to their uteri.

AND?

It takes approximately 23 minutes for narcotics to hit my system and make me ten kind of floppy fingered fun.

breakfast.

mmm. breakfast. (and lunch, and ironically dinner too.)

Comments

  1. bwahahahaaaa
    YAY
    Yes. I got visuals. They were fun.
    I missed most of the fun because I’m’ out of town and have little computeral type access but, while on the road I saw a few tweets of yours and giggled.
    YAY. Loves you and your silly floppy fingered goofy self. LOVES and can’t wait to catch up!! I will absolutely make uteri cupcakes for you ;-) heh.

    Casey Reply:

    @rachel-asouthernfairytale, did you see the ones on flickr? Methinks yours could kick their trash, my uterus would totally involve sprinkles.

  2. The uterus is prepping for Moosh 2.0. Glad you are well and getting better.

    Loved the drugged up tweets, they were HIGHlarious!

    XOXO

  3. I am so glad you have a timeline and can sort of rest easy for six months knowing you are going somewhere with moosh 2.0 planning/creating. I think waiting with no end in sight is the worst. Congrats on a squeaky clean uterus.

    Casey Reply:

    @Kim, planning and creating sounds like i’m one of those “designer baby” moms.
    (which I think I could totally be one of actually…)

    Kim Reply:

    @Casey, I was trying to think of a polite way to say “practicing the babymaking.” You’re right-the first one sounds very in-a-lab- ish and slightly creepy. :) Whoops! Not my intention.

  4. You are so damn funny, I just love you! I hope all of this prep makes lots of good things happen!

    And the drugged up tweets? LOVE!!

    Casey Reply:

    @Krystle | Snarky Kisses, I hope it makes lots of good things happen too! Like the lottery!

    Krystle @snarkykisses Reply:

    @Casey, So if you win the lottery, uhm email me and I’ll give you my address to send me some ke-crazy lucky pills. I will give you lots of mon-ayz!

  5. Blame it on the…V-i-i-i-…oh, whatever, trying to do a Jamie Foxx remake of “Alcohol….”
    Holy Cow! I recognize those little white pills! I had those in January. I blame them for:
    1. Not remembering a damn thing of the following movies: Han****, The Women, Definitely Maybe, and Charlie Wilson’s War.
    2. Making fun of the woman in mom jeans and preschool latch-hook sweater at the doctor’s office (My mother assures me that I wasn’t loud enough for her to hear me).
    3. Accepting every friend invitation on Facebook regardless of who they were, like people who pretty much ignored me in high school.
    4. Buying bathing suits off of Target.com and realizing I had ordered TWO of the same bathing suit (OY!).
    Hope you’re feeling better. And as for the 6-month reboot? Find small ways to enjoy it!

    xoxoxoA

    Casey Reply:

    @Angie, That’s why they make you sign a waiver that says you won’t make any big financial or facebook decisions whilst drugged. Or at least they made me sign one.

  6. It sounds like what my RE did ~ once the internal tests & bloodwork was done, he put me on birth control pills for 3 months to heal & reset Baby Central. After that we jump started with Clomid and the games were ON!

    6 stress free, normal, calm, non-invasive months? *AHHHHH* It’s the calm before the baby dancing storm! LOL And bonus: you’ll be able to paint the new house without freaking out about fumes – or hurling on the brand new carpet.

    Casey Reply:

    @Bellamomma, You just made the most fantastic point EVER. Although now I have to help paint. I have no excuse not to.

  7. Casey, so glad you are feeling better, and that you were prescribed amazing drugs! They don’t make you any funnier, it just makes it more difficult for us to get to the funny which makes it more worthwhile!

    I was checked a few years ago for endo, and luckily I only have “an irritable uterus”. But this irritable uterus doesn’t ever have a good day it seems, and there are no pills, shots, treatments to help it out. Bummer! My SIL on the other hand has serious endo and has done the therapy that your doc is speaking of. She was quite moody for a while due to the lack of hormones (the shots put you into a form of menopause), but she hasn’t had to have surgery to remove any more endo in the past year, so it must be working!

    I wish I had some of your good drugs right now…your story a few weeks ago about the people that have that “miracle” just so happen…well that was me! For a little while. After 4 1/2 years of IF treatments, 2 m/c, and totally giving up I somehow got pg on my own. At 5 1/2 weeks we heard the first heart-beat ever! It was stronger at 6 and 7 weeks. At 8 1/2 weeks it was gone. The docs didn’t agree with the treatment plan I requested, and they killed my baby. I had a D&E to remove my baby today because I don’t m/c on my own. Worse thing is…I’m allergic to all good drugs. Life sucks here, glad your’s is getting better and you are on the road to 2.0! I’ll be watching and praying.

    Casey Reply:

    @Lisa, OH NOES! I’m so sorry for your loss. That is heartbreaking news. I would guess that an irritable uterus would be like living with a constant grumpy person. No fix for them. (I’m looking at YOU GRANDMA)
    Prayers are with you that your uterus will stop being such a twit.
    xoxo

  8. Glad you’re feeling better and that the shoulder pain isn’t so bad for you! I’ve loved your tweets.

    I’m guessing they’ll put you on Lupron Depot… Its a shot and usually what they give endo patients to shut everything down. Hopefully they’ll offer you hormone replacement therapy with it.

    Good Luck! I’m headed down this exact path within months so I’m hopefully it’s successful for us both. Here’s to more drugs that work wonders and moosh 2.0 :)

    Casey Reply:

    @Erika, Yes. Lupron. I learned last night that the internet hates Lupron.

  9. I’m so glad your feeling better and your finger flopping is stopping. Though your tweets over the past couple days have been the highlights of my day.

    Rest up and get better.

    Casey Reply:

    @Meaghan, Actually I just had my breakfast of four different flop inducing pills. So, give me about, oh, 21 minutes?

  10. Lupron. That is the name of the drug…gah. I have heard from some it is the best six months of their life…others…the worst. I opted out of that, the hot flashes for six months versus the lack of period for six months? Oi.

    Also…glad you are not suffering with the shoulder pain, that is the worst. Also, glad you brought up the teratoma…that is what they think I may have…10% chance it is cancerous, that is why they must CUT. IT. OUT. of me…like a c-section, will be lovely. Anyway, Google is dangerous, you are smart to just STAY! AWAY!

    Here for you. From your BFFIRL and an Endometriosis SURVIVOR x 4. Okay, 3.5? Moosh 2.0…I can’t wait to meet you!

    Casey Reply:

    @Kimmie, I WANT TO SEE PICTURES!! Do you think yours has TEETH? OR AN EYELID?
    Okay, so I hope you don’t have one but if you do I hope they can get that out and Millz out and you are instantly healed and perfect as usual.
    xoxo

  11. the tweets are making me smile – sorry about your uterus – you still get “practice” during those six months ya know ;)

    Casey Reply:

    @Lisa, I have three weeks before I can practice.
    These are going to be a looong three weeks. *twitch*

  12. So what’s the takeaway here? That drugs aren’t bad (mmmkay?) after all?

    Stupid Mr. Garrison!

    Glad things went well at the appointment. And even better that you have use of your fingers, at least for the time being. While I loved deciphering your previous post and tweets, they kinda made my head hurt ;)

  13. engineerBob says:

    Happy to hear you are doing well.

    You might want to rethink that rabbit in heat thing because rabbits can conceive the same day that they give birth.

    Casey Reply:

    @engineerBob, Let me tell you how exciting that sounds.
    EXACTLY NONE.
    (P.S. Got the inspection report on my house. Oh dear.)

  14. I understood your tweets perfectly. I am fluent in Drooged.

    Casey Reply:

    @Avitable, As well as I am fluent in boogeyman.

  15. Your tweets were comedy gold, lady. You have a pantload if people cheering for you and your wittle uterus friend so yay on the good news!

    Casey Reply:

    @Karen Sugarpants, Are these big stretchy pants? or just kind of regular sized pants?

    Karen Sugarpants Reply:

    @Casey, More like MC Hammer pants.

    Can’t touch this….

    Casey Reply:

    @Karen Sugarpants, Ba da da da, da, da dum.

  16. depoprovera? goooood stuff

    i can’t wait to see what i’m like in a couple of weeks after my surgery…hopefully i’ll be as funny and entertaining as you!

    Casey Reply:

    @Biddy, hopefully you will be just as drugged. because this is really the only way to go through life.

  17. Hi! First time I’ve commented, just started reading but anyways you crack me up!

    I went through this about 2 1/2 years ago, same deal laproscopy stage 2/3 endo and PCOS. Did Lupron(kind of like menopause, I wore short sleeves in the winter, just a warning) shots for 5 months then did IUI with clomid had twins the first time around and then a surprise pregnancy when they were 1. That’s the short version… 3 in two years. All worth it in the end! Hopefully it works for you too.

  18. I am thrilled for you that you have a game plan.

    But did you have to share that Teratoma link??? Bleh. Am scarred for life now.

    ps. your drugged tweets were teh awesome.

  19. So glad there is a plan. Will keep fingers crossed that 6mos of no worries and a clean uterus make Moosh 2.0 a reality!!

  20. Hooray for answers & a timeline! Boo for me clicking on that Google images link! Glad you’re hanging in there.

  21. where the CRAP are you Visiting Teacher’s or the compassionate service lady? Huh? Huh? You shouldn’t HAVE to wish for food honey, there should be a plethora of strange salads and casseroles to choose from! If I were ANYWHERE near you I would bring you one!

  22. Best. Tweets. Ever. I unfortunately can sympathize with the belly pain and the gas that just won’t escape. I also had a cyst removed from my left ovary, and the doctor told me it had hair in it. We women and our crazy insides.

    See you next month when I will give you a big hug!

  23. So glad to hear that you are feeling better! And the tweets? Loved them.
    I’m still trying to get past the hairy cysts and keep myself from hurling on my keyboard. Google images? BAH.

    I hope that you are up and attem’ and eating full, yummy meals in no time.

    Full of hope for you!

  24. I noticed that you unfollowed me so you might want to just delete my comment all together. But, I have gone down this road.

    I had stage 4 endometriosis and when it was all said and done, endometrial tissue was removed from under my lungs and out of my nose. Yes, you heard me right, out of my nose. My mother currently has endometrial cancer in her lungs. Not lung cancer, lung cancer is much more serious. It’s endometerial cancer in her lungs.

    So, when people look at me funny and say, “you had endo where?” I know with all certainty that my endo was serious.

    First of all, the way we found the endo that was in my nose was after a nose surgery (broken nose)and a round of lupron, I had this horrible hole in my nose, in the septum My Gyn suggested that since the endo was in far away places like under my lungs and binding my colon, he would suggest that I have the tissue in my nose tested if I ever had to have surgery again. And, again came. This time a sinus surgery and indeed the results were in, endometrial tissue in my nose.

    That is documented in a medical magazine somewhere, it was early 90′s and I have it somewhere…..

    Anyway, my experience went like this and I was not trying to get pregnant, I was trying to live a normal life and work 5 days a week like a normal person.

    I had my first round of lupron which consisted of one shot a month for three months. The dosage of this degree of Lupron is recommended to be used once in a person lifetime. (That’s important later).

    I was then someone’s experiment and I was given synarel (a very very expensive drug at that time) by a drug company and it came as an inhaler. One squirt in each nostril in the morning and one in each nostril at night. For 30 days.

    I did that, for 3 months. I did 3 more months of lupron (although it isn’t recommended in large doses like that, I was desperate to be normal) and I had another lap. The biggest issue for me, other than having it in my nose which always resulted in a bloody nose with my visitor (which I wasn’t getting while on these medications)…I had it attached to my colon, wrapped around my colon and in places penetrating my colon. It was all removed except the stuff that was too close to colon, the doc was afraid he would nip the colon and then I’d be walking around with a poop bag.

    So, here’s the encouraging part of this story. And, remember, I was not trying to get pregnant. Although at the time I remember thinking I wouldn’t mind if I did, it definitely wasn’t in the plans and hindsight, it was even less in the plans for the person I was dating at that time. We had been together over 2 years and like I said, I would have been ok, he would have had a stroke.

    So, no one told me that at the end of this long course of treatment and subsequent lap that I was going to be extremely fertile. And so, I was teaching school and I had this horrible habit of running from sick kids. I had an older lady who was my teachers aid and she mothered the kids and I begged them not to bring me any germs.

    So, one day in the middle of one of tyrant fits about someone giving me a stomach bug because I had been sick for almost 2 weeks, this sweet teachers aid came up behind me and said, “I don’t think it is a stomach bug, you look pregnant to me”

    Now, how does one look pregnant that soon….well besides keeping my head in toilet she said I had that mysterious magical glow that people talk about.

    I really didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell anyone other than the aid the truth. So, I waited.

    And, the day that my 32 & 7 softball team was to play for district championship, I wore these awesome white windsuit pants to work in anticipation of heading straight to the field afterward.

    And, it happened. About 1:30, barely enough time for me to go home and change and very very obvious but I felt it, a gush, another big gush and I jumped up, ran to the aid and hit the doorway. Home, changed and back trying to contain what would be my first miscarriage. I did it alone. I coached my ball team that afternoon an we lost. I had told no one. I eventually had to tell my mother because I needed someone to take me to have a
    d & c.

    I was right about the babies father. He had a complete stroke and he didn’t even know it until it was all over. He played basketball in Australia for many years after that, professionally and so I guess you can see where he was coming from.

    So, although my story did not result in a happy ending, there was no reason it shouldn’t have except I had gone immediately to birth control pills on a continuous basis after surgery. There was just one day too many in between all that and I was pregnant. So, once you have been supressed, know that you should be extremely fertile.

    And, the other was what I told you the other day and that was I took bcp non-stop for 2 years. I quit, had a m/c, then had walker, had another m/c and then, couldn’t get pregnant The smartest gyn in the world said, let’s do this last lap and I’ll do the Hsg at the same time. Same combo you had. He did it in January, Feb was romance month and Jace came 5 weeks early in late November.

    So, I’ve been successful at getting pregnant both ways that you are being treated.

    The side effects of lupron and synarel are that they put you in a state of menopause like symptoms. For me, it was summer time and it was hot as crap anyway and I kept the a/c on blizzard.

    The queerest side effect though was that I could not get a tan. I don’t need to know now why I didn’t need a tan, I’m just saying, my running buddies and I would head to the beach every other weekend. They would all use sunscreen and still be fried to a pulp when it was time to come home on Sunday. I was using accelerators and such and I couldn’t even get pink cheeks. I tried a tanning bed too, my skin just absolutely wouldn’t tan during the time I was taking those meds.

    Now, I burn in the shade and I am an SPF 50 cardholder but that was the only other side effect I had. We would head home on Sunday nights, everyone in my crew sunburned and freezing and me having hot flashes not sunburned and then sitting between two of them who were scorched and holy batman it was hot.

    I did see where others made reference to your silly blogging and tweeting after surgery and I feel bad that I upset you but I really am not sure why what I said was any different than what is being said here.

    I guess, it’s 3:30 AM and I have butt on my shoulders and just want to be a pain. So, I guess I’ll be apologizing for that too tomorrow. It really bothered me that you unfollowed me on twitter the other night without even giving me an opportunity to explain. I don’t know, just all seems odd to me and I don’t know what I’ve done to upset you.

    Casey Reply:

    @Jerri Ann, I didn’t unfollow you.
    You changed your twitter name from @jareason to @The_Jerri_Ann

    I never stopped following @jareason.

    I never started following @The_Jerri_Ann.

    Darlin, you need to stop taking things so personally.

    Just because someone isn’t following you doesn’t mean they don’t like you and just because someone unfollowed you also doesn’t mean they don’t like you. You changed your twitter name. Other times twitter takes it upon itself to unfollow people for you. There are MILLIONS of people on twitter and I know I can’t keep track of them all.

    As far as @avitable is concerned. I have no responsibility for what my commenters say. So. Sigh.

  25. I am so glad you are ok. And with three boys and a husband I thought I’d heard all the fart jokes but that one is too funny.

    Steph

  26. Yay! Glad you’re squeaky clean AND you have a plan. I get my new plan on Wednesday. Failed the ivf. Boo. But somehow having a plan makes the world look all sparkly again. Hope you enjoy your break and your uterus soaks up all the sparkly, clean goodness and is freshly remodeled and ready to go come Christmas!

  27. I was making a joke abut the sex thing, surely that was interpretable from the nature in which I formed the comment.

    I do take it personally when you had to have been following me in order to DM me but then when I tried to DM you back, I couldn’t because you weren’t following me all of the sudden.

    If you remember after meeting you at Blissdom I fell absolutely head over heals for you. YOu are the most precious of all precious bloggers out there.

    As for taking things personally, geez seems the other way around to me. Especially when I had given you examples of me having surgery and then trying to blog or tweet and I referred to my own state at those times “drunk blogging”. I can’t imagine how that could have been misinterpreted either since you did indeed know that the joke was as much on me as it was on anyone else.

    Again, I fell absolutely in love with your sweet personality at blissdom but it seems that ever time I turn around I seem to be pissing you off.

    And, honestly, after our meeting, I thought you understood me as much as anyone.

    Again, I’m sorry that this has even become an issue but I am not one of those viral nasty people who surf the internet hunting people to be mean to. You know that as well from our discussion before.

    I was trying to give you 2 good examples of where my efforts just like yours were successful and that you could hopefully draw some strength from. I hate this, it bothers me, not that I take it personally as much as it is painful because I wanted to be helpful not hurtful.

    Casey Reply:

    @Jerri Ann, I don’t have to be following you to DM you, you only have to be following me. I am now following you and apologize for my oversight.
    I know you weren’t trying to be mean, you’re not pissing me off and I appreciate the time you’ve taken to tell me your story.
    I am in now way hurt from what you said, I erased the comment from @avitable because I know it wasn’t fair to you you that he said that.
    Can we just forget about this please?

  28. I’m so glad that you have some answers and a plan. That is wonderful news!

  29. I had the Lupron shot, too. Just make sure you get the hormone patch or something and it will be smooth sailing. I let my prescription for them run out at some point and now I can totally sympathize with all the menopausal ladies of the world!

  30. Mandi Bone says:

    Your drugged tweets made me smile when I could figure out what you were saying. I am glad you have a plan for moosh 2.0. I am fertile like that Duggar woman but my heart is too sick to be pregnant again. I had experimental open heart surgery to be able to have my first miracle. My second miracle came by adoption. I know the heartbreak of the struggles of trying of getting that next kid. Sending you lost of get pregnant vibes for after the 6 month wait.

  31. Lupron? I just finished a 6 month Lupron treatment in March.

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