Dear tiny gramma,
the moosh is just like me. Go ahead and gloat.
Well first there was the “I want a new mom.” debacle of May 2009. Apparently asking her to get dressed was not in the mother/daughter manifesto leaving her to fire me only to rehire me after she realized she couldn’t pick her new mom up at the airport without the aid of her old mom.
So apparently I get to stay the mom by circumstance.
Which is to say as soon as she can make eyes at some boy who can drive her to the airport where they keep the new moms who don’t ask their kids to get dressed? I’m out of a job.
She also fired Cody the other night because she didn’t get any mail. But that’s beside the point, because Cody is ruining my child and when I say Cody is ruining my child I mean that the bar is ruining my Cody which in turn is ruining my child.
He leaves early and stays late to study. the moosh claims she cannot fall asleep without a hug from her dad (tender right? IT’S ALL A PLOY, I’m onto her little game) which in turn leaves her hysterically sobbing into the phone to Cody while she squeaks out,
Last night I had the brilliant! idea of giving her a picture of Cody to hold while she fell asleep.
But the only one I could find was a leftover engagement picture.
Nothing really says “go to sleep little darling” like a picture of your parents when they were 18 and 21.
I gave her the picture anyway since we still do resemble our previous selves (uh, enough.)
“MOM! CUT YOU OUT OF THIS PICTURE! I ONLY WANT DADDY!”
“You can deal with looking at me, I’m not cutting it up. Good night, go to sleep, I love you, no bedbugs and all that jazz.”
Yeah. There you have it. My existence in my daughters world can be negated with a well placed Barbie sticker.
Enjoy the quiet satisfaction that she is only four and is already stabbing tiny hot pokers of teenage angst into my weary heart.
Your youngest and most favorite daughter that could have never possibly caused you this much heartache and grief,