Fasten your seatbelts dear reader. I am a hormonal wreck with a blog.
The weather does this thing in Indiana, something I never saw in Utah.
It changes, quickly. I don’t even check the weather anymore out here because it has never, EVER been right. Ever.
A sunny morning could dramatically change to a storm in a matter of moments. When looking out the window at a storm with my kid I know in that it will pass over in fifteen minutes and that it’s not even worth rearranging our day or giving any consideration to.
If the rain sticks around for awhile we don ponytails, waterproof shoes, umbrellas and leave the white tshirts at home.
Other times we’ll be watching a storm and it will change dramatically. Tornado sirens go off. I worry about where our 72 hour kit is. How we would find Cody. What’s even worse is when these kinds of storms happen when I’m out driving alone. I have to choose between pulling off the road or risk continuing on.
Other times I find myself sitting in a downpour. But I can see blue skies just a few miles away. The cloud just seems to be following me around. Head a few minutes in the opposite direction and suddenly I’m under those blue skies, wondering what the heck I was so worried about and wondering if the storm that had me so freaked out ever really happened.
This is depression for me.
I never know when it’s going to sneak up on me. There’s no forecast for such things. And just like the weather there’s no way to prevent it or move it along if I’m just not in the mood for crappy weather.
When I’m in the thick of it I really only have two choices. Pull off or keep going, risking the consequences.
I know it will go away. But when? Sitting under that raincloud staring out at blue sky that is so close is soul crushing sometimes.
Why am I one of the ones stuck under the cloud without an umbrella?
I hate that I will always have a fear of those stupid storm clouds no matter how blue the sky is.