It’s no secret that I don’t love facebook, but given what I do it’s a necessary evil. I consider facebook my Internet equivalent of a nasty rush hour commute. It has to be done if you want to keep your “job.”

I think it’s messy. And yet it’s kind of the best way to keep in contact with the people in my life who don’t blog or who don’t want to come to my blog and risk seeing pictures of my internal organs.

Also it just felt strange when my Grandma in Law who is older than a lot of things on this planet showed up in my friends list right next to Tanis. Something just felt off about that.

So last night I performed a facebook intervention. I kept the people I’m related to, the ones who knew me before Cody, the ones who were at my wedding and the ones who have seen me do the ugly cry. If I hurt anyone’s feelings I’m sorry, it’s nothing personal. Truth be told I was never on facebook much, every time I clicked over there it was “GROW CORN!” “MAFIA WARS!” “SARAH SENT YOU A DRINK!” (and truthfully if “Sarah” was really my friend? She’d know not to send me dirty martinis, same goes for you “Jenny,” if you really knew me? You wouldn’t send me growing gifts. Truthfully I’m the only person I know who can kill virtual plant life.)

The poking, the quizzes, the likeness, the so and so became a fan of toe fuzz and suggested you become a fan too!


So here’s what I’ve done.

I made a moosh in indy fan page. Where I can keep all of you my lovelies. Where I don’t have to worry about my frail little grandma reading about my latest escapade with a syringe full of menopausal death.

If you feel so inclined won’t you please be a fan of moosh in indy? (Fan sounds so strange. But whatever, apparently if facebook were a country it would be like the fourth largest country in the world and I’m guessing that it would be a little heavy on the dictatorship, so if facebook says fan, I say fan.)

And also, how do you use facebook? Do you think it’s kind of messy? Like myspace graduated from college with a generals degree yet never amounted to anything much to the disappointment of his parents (who ironically were just college kids themselves?)


  1. Facebook is the cattle farm of the Internet.

    Casey Reply:

    @Avitable, moooooo.

  2. I used to be all up in facebook’s grill. I was addicted to (fluff)friends, to the tune of multiple hours per day. I wish I was joking.

    Then, one day, I snapped out of it. Now, I use facebook to…. (in order of importance):

    (1) post 1-3 status updates per week, important in my case because I am 38 weeks pregnant. this item will move to a much lower priority level in about 3 weeks.

    (2) post pictures of my son (and rarely, the rest of my family) once or twice a month,
    so that (a) those friends and family to whom I would normally email this stuff, don’t have to get all those emails and (b) I don’t have to worry if I left someone off the emailing list and (c) if there is someone who I normally wouldn’t send it to, but who thinks of me and wants to know what we’re up to, they have access to that stuff.

    (3) Some days, you just gotta take a “how Mormon are you?” test (my regular-protestant, not super FB savvy mom was all “you’re mormon?”)

    (4) posting old pictures of people, myself included, to the embarassment of all.

    (5) Flair. I don’t send it much any more, but I do like searching ‘em and saving the buttons to the “found” folder in My Documents.

    Casey Reply:

    @Della, I’m 50% Mormon, so there you go.

  3. I didn’t get Facebook for a long time because I thought it was creepy. Then I started on Twitter and Facebook seemed way less creepy.

    I actually like FB a lot now. Especially the privacy filters. I can be friends with people without really being their friend. Friends in name only.

    Casey Reply:

    @Ohh Betsy!, I’m not so good with the filters.

  4. And, I think I like it because I always ignore games, quizzes, and invitations to causes. Not that I don’t like causes. Cause I do. Just not on Facebook.

  5. I have to say I like it, but then again, all my friends (all 60 or so WOO HOO) are either my in-laws, people I know from ward/stake or actual real life friends from high school/college. I think Facebook is alot less creepy than MySpace–had a profile on MySpace (the minimum they would allow) only so I could keep up with a cousin’s page. At least Facebook isn’t quite so sleazy feeling as My Space was.

    Casey Reply:

    @trena, Isn’t myspace still uber sleazy? Facebook is just dipping its toe into the sleaze pot?

  6. Not a big fan of FB. I just deleted a lot of my wall posts and made my albums private. Really I just got tired of it and all of the requests to farm animals. Not for me anymore. I’ll keep to being a fan here if that’s ok :-)

    Casey Reply:

    @Midwest Mommy, I’ll take it, as long as you’ll still get in a car with me. And not tell my husband about my driving.

  7. I started using Facebook right about the time it started. It used to be everything when I was in college. Now I just use it to look people up, find out random information on new friends, stalk old friends to find out where they are now and generally waste time. As a communication tool? It totally sucks.

    Casey Reply:

    @Tutugirl, You hear that facebook? One of the “originals” says YOU SUCK!

  8. I use Facebook pretty much to just keep in touch with people. Sometimes I feel like I have way too many friends on there because I find hard to deny anyone who requests. However, I’ve become an expert on “lists” – keeping people in safe categories so that when I do post something – pictures, video, notes, etc – I can control who can and cannot see it. Also – I’ve learned how to control who shows up on my “news stream” or whatever so I don’t have to see all that mafia war and farm town crap.

    Casey Reply:

    @Meredith, I’d rather just ignore someone’s existence than risk their farming habits.
    Does that make me a horrible person?

  9. I did that a while ago but I’m due again. I like having my circle of trust on there since the kiddos’ pics are on there for family. :)

    Casey Reply:

    @Karen Sugarpants, And here I am doing the circle of trust finger thing…in public. Switch to awkward turtle in 3..2..1..

  10. So smart! I’ve been thinking of doing the same. I’d spend a lot less time there if I did!

    Casey Reply:

    @Headless Mom, It really is a time saver.

  11. Facebook HQ is about 10 minutes down the road and with all the tech talent in the area you’d think they’d find a way to make the interface intuitive. I’ve wasted so much time trying to do rather mundane tasks it’s infuriating.

    That said, sure helped when we wanted to have an informal HS reunion and was largely the cause for the high turnout.

    By the way, there is a delete all invitations button or something like that but I totally get the grandma issue. My mom opted not to join, whew!

    Casey Reply:

    @Rick, Blow it up! Blow facebook up!
    I mean, uh, thanks for the tips.

  12. My mom is THIS CLOSE to getting clicked “ignore all invites from this person.”

    I use Facebook to keep up with friends that I actually care about, especially my friends from New Zealand.

    And honestly, Facebook is practically my only connection to three of my four siblings. It’s a sad fact.

    Kim Reply:

    @Sherry, ha! I hear ya. My mom is a facebook stalker. She comments on EVERYthing.

    I use facebook to keep up with people I know. I try to purge my excessive friends (I use that in the facebook sense of the word…) every couple of months.

    Casey Reply:

    @Sherry, It’s the old people who ruin it for EVERYONE! The old people and the teenagers.

  13. Oh, and I feel the need to say I have been on Facebook since 2004, so an early adopter, if you will. In some ways it is much improved, in other ways it is full of garbage.

    I’m done now for real. Although I could go on and on since I helped develop one of the largest apps on Facebook.

    Casey Reply:

    @Sherry, MAFIA WARS? *poke*

  14. You see, I was a facebook user waay back when it was just a handfull of college students with too much time and internet access.

    It was the perfect way to connect with high school friends while maintaining a polite distance.

    There were no news feeds, stupid as heck games, or 12-year olds.

    It was like heaven – just pictures and poking and writing on people’s walls. It was simple, uncomplicated.

    Now? Now it’s like hanging out with a bunch of 12-year-olds on acid and mountain dew.

    Way too many extras, not enough quality content, and my profile is basically a dead end.

    RIP Facebook.

    Casey Reply:

    @ClassyFabSarah, One giant dead end. RIGHT HERE.

  15. I have a Facebook account, and I use it mostly to sporadically (read: once every few months) check in on people I went to school with years ago.

    Given that few people actually know my identity online, I don’t have the issue you have. I think there are two friends in my list that I met blogging.

    Casey Reply:

    @SciFi Dad, You want to be mysterious? I CAN BE MYSTERIOUS TOO!

  16. I’ve had the same problem. I basically use Facebook for ‘real life’ friends and family, it’s awesome for keeping in touch since so many of them live far away! I do have a few bloggie friends on there (you included, yay!) but I keep it pretty separate from my blogging life.

    I also HATE HATE HATE all those stupid apps. OMG. Don’t people WORK??? How on earth they have time for all that crap, I’ll never know.

    Casey Reply:

    @Jen, I figured we’re kinda like *this* (fingers crossed.)

  17. I joined facebook back when it was still a closed community, and at first it was a pretty decent time-waster. Back then, it was little and cute and you wrote on each other’s walls and that was…really about it, if I remember correctly. And then suddenly it exploded into this huge horrible thing that I don’t even know how to navigate and is constantly sending me emails about games I don’t want to play and people I haven’t talked to since middle school. IT IS A NIGHTMARE.

    I only use it because for some of my friends, that’s the only way we have to keep in touch. Otherwise, I shun it like the plague. Looking at it gives me hives, no joke.

    Casey Reply:

    @Talulah, Nightmare. Yes. *shivers*

    Talulah Reply:

    @Casey, If hell had a website, I’m pretty sure its page design would look a lot like facebook’s. *shudders*

  18. I don’t Facebook (or Twitter).

    Does that mean there is something wrong with me?

    Actually, I try to avoid my computer as my hubby is in IT at work, and has a computer business from home, so I feel surrounded by technology all the time and like to get away from it all.

    I can see the point of Facebook though, especially with family in Europe, but they don’t use computers out of work either, so, I’ll keep up with the phone calls and snail mail. :-D

    Casey Reply:

    @Michelle, It only means you’re still normal.
    Not sucked in. AVOID! AVOID!

    Michelle Reply:

    @Casey, Someone thinks I’m normal – yay!!! Will have to tell the kids that! :-D

  19. I just ignore all of the 100 and some application-related “requests” I have on Facebook…and I tell it to ignore Mafia Wars and other games that get really annoying on the newsfeed. I do enjoy it for keeping in touch with high school friends though.

    Casey Reply:

    @Kari, My husband is ADDICTED to Mafia Wars. Like has fake profiles so he can play Mafia Wars with himself.

  20. I started using it when it was closed also, had to have a specific school email address. I don’t like most of what it has evolved to, but it is still useful to me – to keep up with relatives and far away friends, to disperse information quickly, and to post and peruse photos. I don’t use it nearly as much as I used to though, and I ignore every application (and all requests from my mother!)

    Casey Reply:

    @Susie, Looking through other peoples photos just makes me green and nasty. It’s best that I don’t do it.

  21. I feel like I’ve neglected Facebook since I started using Twitter so heavily. I have a blog fanpage, but I don’t use it as much as I should (tsk, tsk). I’ve also been recently flooded by friend requests from folks from high school that I haven’t spoken to since 1996. If we haven’t kept in touch since then, do you really think I want you all up in my business now? Decline! Ahh…this cyber world is just a bit much at times.

    Casey Reply:

    @DWJ, Phew. I’m realizing that a lot of people don’t love the facebook. Why don’t we all quit and leave it to the farmers?

  22. I’ll be your fan! Facebook can get really crazy sometimes, can’t it? One day I decided I was just going to start blocking applications unless I really, REALLY wanted to keep them. I felt a little bad when my sister in law would send me a hug or a smile or something, and I would click “BLOCK” – but I got over it quick. Now I barely get any requests at all, and that has helped my FB experience be less messy…

    Casey Reply:

    @Katie, Thanks! And facebook is happy that you still like it.

  23. I have a facebook. I like it a lot more than MySpace where I had named my page “this hurts my eyes” because myspace is no place for those of us with ADHD! I used myspace sparingly and mostly to follow bands I liked. When I switched to Facebook, I was calmed by its whiteness :)

    I like that I am back in touch with friends from HS and college that I had lost track of. I like to play word games with some of my friends.

    I don’t get any mafia wars/drink/farmville invites or notices because I banned them all. If you get one of those, click on the button to the right of that post and it will ask if you want to ban all posts from So-and-so or all posts from Farmville (or whatever irks you). I click on ban posts from Farmville and never see another (until the newest silly game comes out!)

    I also click don’t show posts from Nancy (or whoever bugs you!). That way she still appears in my friend list and I can check in on her if I choose to but don’t get her million posts about how terrible her life is.

    As a teacher- I get a lot of kids asking me to be their friend. I reject all of those requests. I do however have a Mrs. Faro facebook that I will allow kids to join. It is actually a great way to keep in contact with my HS students who I do not see everyday. I can easily remind them when I will be in their building again or check on progress of their projects.

    Casey Reply:

    @Mim, Ooh, I want to be a fan of Mrs. Papadakis (my second grade teacher.)
    I wonder if she’s on there…

  24. um, i haven’t read all the comments…. but i’m like one of the last 13 people left on earth that does not have a FB account.

    i guess i just don’t get it.

    my bff keeps trying to get me over to the dark side. she mentioned “hey, look! like, all your fam is on it”… and i replied ” all the more reason not to be…”

    i bet the quizzes would be fun.
    but nobody on earth would care bout the answers.

    i won’t even tell my fam about my blog. well, not the “bonbon” one.

    Casey Reply:

    @mpotter, Don’t do it. There’s another girl up there who doesn’t facebook or twitter. Really, it’s better that way.

  25. Oy with the facebook. And the poking and the presents and the pillow fights and the maffia families and the people with a thousand friends. Really, it’s not necessary. It hurts my brain.

    Casey Reply:

    @Tice, *POKE*

  26. I barely use it. Mostly, I just play bejeweled and occasionally pimp my current post. To me, it’s the evil step-mother of the Internet. Better to be avoided.

    Casey Reply:

    @Issa, I prefer bratty step child. The one you’d like to ignore.

  27. facebook is getting messy in our world too..with my husband a pastor at a pretty huge church here in indy…just tons of requests from people i hardly know? what if someone posts crazy pics of me from college? what if an “earthy” friend drops the f bomb? what about political crap i can’t seem to convince people i don’t care about? and don’t even get me started on mafia wars, farmville, yoville,?? how well do you know joe blow quizzes…ugh. it’s getting over and underwhelming…what to do…

    i might start “defriending” a lot of people….

    Casey Reply:

    @heather, Doesn’t that sound so bad? DEFRIENDING?
    There needs to be a simpler term.

  28. p.s. i love love LOVE your blog so please don’t shut me out of this one!! ;0)

    Casey Reply:

    @heather, never ever.

  29. Unfriended and I didn’t even have the decency to notice. Sadpants.

    Eh, not really.

    Upward and onward!

    Although you should totally follow me back on twitter someday. It’d be like fulfilling a life goal. What, is that not proper twitter etiquette? No?

    Eh, oh well.

    Casey Reply:

    @Miss Grace, I thought I was following you! Blergh. Bad blogger. BAD.
    I am noooow!

  30. Seriously I have enough farm animals to take care of that actually breathe AND poop in real life that I don’t do the whole farm town thing and the quizzes, one said i’m only 75%hillbilly.. and really i’m like 99.7%. I like to keep in touch but honestly 1/2 my “friends” are hidden.. but I will gladly be a fan of moosh in indy – cause you rock it!! lol

    Casey Reply:

    @Tiffany, I’m only 50% Mormon on facebook, so, you know, not so accurate.

    Tiffany Reply:

    @Casey, take your 50% and my 75% that would make us 125% mormonbilly and that’s better than being nothing I suppose;)

  31. I love Facebook, but I’m kind of a snoop and you can find out some really good scoops on Facebook.

  32. I get what your saying but for me it’s not like that. I have “found” many friends I have been wanting to get in touch with over the past 25 years. I now see their kids grow. Laugh and cry with them. Oddly enough a few were near my all along and because looks change and people change, we had no idea. Now I find they are my kids friends parents and I couldn’t have chosen better friends for my kids.
    Also, family members otherwise no contact with, now Family reunions are not just once a year or only in the summer and when we DO get together for a real reunion, it’s not ackward, even with those from out of state or out of country cuz we are already friends on FB. Just saying.
    If I were famous like you, FB would be a totally different experience. Yes I just used famous and you in a sentence cuz they relate. Accept it sista, on the net- your famous.

  33. All I know is that if one more person asks me to join the FB Mafia, I’m going to hire the real Mafia to take them out.

  34. I just did a FB cleanup myself. It was wonderful. I got rid of the people I’d friended from high school that I didn’t really know that well, and whose updates were totally boring, all about one subject, etc. I hate all of the quizzes, poking, flowers, blah blah blah. I hide all that stuff so I don’t have to see it.

  35. I have two facebooks. SHAME ON ME. One is people that I went to school with, family and really close friends. The other is for internet people. I’ve noticed that the internet people tend to throw more cows at me and want me to grow farms or join their mafia. the real lifers, not so much. They aren’t as into it. I maintenance my real life account, but rarely visit the internet account.

  36. Three things: First, I will be laughing forever that your husband has fake accounts so that he can play himself on Mafia Wars. Because my husband has thought of doing the same thing. He probably already does and just hasn’t told me. Mostly because I wouldn’t ever stop laughing at him. Second, I have un-friended people because, seriously, if you don’t talk to me IRL and you have 456 other friends, it’s just too much. But then they are all ‘whyyyyyy aren’t you my frieeennndd anymore.’ And I have started to have to block people. Third, I had to remove people that I work with because they were talking about me. On facebook. Using my name. Yeah.

  37. I’m totally with you. It’s nice to have a way to stay in touch but I could do without all the invites to throw imaginary snowballs and such…

  38. I’ve been an on-and-off again FB user since 2003 or 2004. I remember when it became open to high school students and I thought it would be ruined. Then I was a Resident Assistant in college and I didn’t want to see what my residents were doing, because I would have had to confront them. “Hey so-and-so, I’m here to confront you about your wild party habits because I saw it on FB and my boss says I can use FB as evidence…” AWKWARD. And everyone would hate me. So I quit. then I joined up again when I left college because some people are appalled at the idea of keeping in touch by a phone call, letter, or email. And I like the person enough to overlook that.

    Now I work full time in college housing and students STILL don’t get it. If I’m your friend on FB AND your boss, why would you post a photo showing that you like to binge drink with minors? Heads have rolled. We put a FB addendum into Resident Assistant contracts. Sigh. It didn’t used to be this way.

  39. I like Facebook except for all the requests I get to join people’s fan pages.

    Just kidding.

  40. I am not sure about Facebook. Somedays its okay. I do like to see what others are doing and seeing the networked blogs, but at the same time, I don’t know. Most of the time Facebook and I battle it out because of errors, but oh well.

    I do use it for my business. Not sure how that is working out yet.

  41. apparently I am going to HAVE to join facebook for some thing that I’m doing. ugh.

    NECESSARY evil indeed.

    I’ll be your fan love :-)

  42. Facebook is too complex. Whatever happened to calling people or emailing them to stay in contact. The applications make me crazy at times. I only go on it now about once every 3 months

  43. My boss thinks FB will save the world. Literally. Was denied a promotion at work because I just don’t love it. I am just not a mafia wars kind of gal. I can’t take care of my plants at home let alone take care of a virtual garden. I joined in the spirit of corporate digital marketing strategy (we are now spending more on free marketing channels like FB than we are on the ones that charge). And we have 107 fans. That already work for the company. Change the world? No. Give the boss a way to sound uber-trendy in his strategy? Absolutely. Too bad he is a few years too late!


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