Many of you have asked about our! first! house! that I posted about almost three months ago.

You know? The one with peach and pastel aquamarine paint downstairs and bright red and bright teal paint upstairs?

Sound familiar?

Well. The house will still be occupied by us, someday. We’re doing a rehabilitation loan since the house is in need of some serious love and care. And coats and coats of paint.

COATS AND COATS I SAY.

Anyway these rehabilitation loans were pretty much planned out by the same people who planned DMVs (out here they’re called BMVs. As in Bureau of Motor Vehicles. And yes, I giggle every time I say BMV.) If not the DMV people then surely someone with a vested interest in psych wards or ulcer care because we are both about thisclose to one or the other.

Some loan person down in Texas has every bit of information about Cody’s and my existence on the planet short of a blood sample and what color our eyes are (hint, six eyeballs that live in this house are blue.) At this point we are pretty much at their mercy, whoever said “Don’t Mess With Texas” seriously meant it.

Did I mention the busted pipe in the ceiling that flooded the kitchen when we had the water turned on for an inspection?

I didn’t?

What about the carpenter ants that were eating the inside of every wall downstairs?

I left them out too?

How about the fact that one person in this whole process who shall not be named is quite possibly the only human on this planet I have ever come close to maiming with a blunt object?

I know I told you that when they sent over our original paperwork they had our loan set at $190K instead of $108K. (see previous sentence.)

Did I tell you that the moosh has a crush on our contractor? That she thinks he’s “really handsome and kind of dreamy?”

Speaking of dreamy, did I mention the intensely dreamy bamboo floors we’re going to have installed?

Or the fact that we have to pay $375 every 14 days to keep our application open? (Again, refer back to previous statement about blunt maiming.)

Our real estate agent is still my friend on facebook because she has seen me do the ugly cry. More than once.

So yes. We will still be moving. Eventually. Into the house that we originally picked out.

And when all is said and done?

IT WILL BE GLORIOUS. And hopefully all people involved in the process will still be alive and intact.

Because right now it’s really not looking good for that person over there.

Comments

  1. Oh. Mah. Gosh. What a freakin’ mess, Casey! So sorry that you are having so much trouble with this, and so sorry that it isn’t the fairy tale you deserve.

    Someday, you might look back on this and laugh. I hope.

    Casey Reply:

    @Tina, I’m already laughing, manically. Stroking my blunt objects.

  2. They should have special criminal courts that deal with women maiming with blunt objects under these circumstances and they all should be found NOT guilty.
    I am not violent by nature but this is a lot to cope with, calmly and sensibly, a LOT.

    Casey Reply:

    @Wilma Ham, As @avitable said, Cody could get me off in court.

  3. I’m sorry about your woes and all that, but BAMBOO FLOORS!!!!!!!

    WAHOO!

    Someday I will join you in the ranks of the fancy pants.

    Casey Reply:

    @Camille, DUDE! They were on clearance for $3 sf!

  4. I’m a little bit bummed I couldn’t find a picture of your contractor on the website. :)

    sandy Reply:

    @Lindsay, me too! ;-D

    Casey Reply:

    @Lindsay, Um, I’d give you my opinion on him too but he reads my blog and I don’t need to make our working relationship awkward, like I probably just did.

  5. PLEASE do not get rid of the red and blue!!! I love it!!!!

    Casey Reply:

    @Marty, Then YOU live in it. *shiver*

  6. I have been wondering if you were moving soon…

    Sorry that things are moving soo slowly… but I can’t wait until you are in a new fabulous house!!

    Casey Reply:

    @ClassyFabSarah, It will be soooo worth it.

  7. Let me know when you need a painting friend!

    Casey Reply:

    @Jen, Dude, I convinced the husband to pay someone to do it. I WIN!

  8. Ooooo. Bambooooo. Want.

    (Minus any miniature bugs resembling Pandas that may come with it. Heee.)

    Casey Reply:

    @Must be Motherhood, Is it ironic that I’m already kind of a Panda and I’ll be walking on the food of the pandas?

  9. oh man, talk to BurghBaby! She just went through similar plumbing and reconstruction drama at her house before they moved in.

    I hope things get worked out and soon you’re all settled in!!!

  10. Cody could get you off.

    In court, I mean.

    Casey Reply:

    @Avitable, Bwa ha ha! Lawyer humor!

  11. And bankers wonder why they’re hated so.

    Casey Reply:

    @lceel, I NEVER SAID IT WAS MY BANKER. *ahem*

  12. I can’t help you with much – but when it comes to paint and bamboo, I got your back.

    Casey Reply:

    @DesignHER Momma, oohhh the bamboo….

  13. Dude, what Jayesel said. We spent $10K for repairs on a house that we didn’t own because we HAD to for it to pass inspection. Apparently inspectors get a little cranky when turning on a faucet causes a lake to form in the family room. WHO KNEW? And then there was the mold. The awesome, awesome mold allllll over the place that had to be banished, but the bank who owned the house refused to let us in to do it ourselves and instead wanted us to hand over tens of thousands to a “licensed” company who was going to charge $1000 to replace a bi-fold door we could get at Home Depot for $80.

    We’re moved in now, and I’m almost ready to say it was all worth it. First I have to figure out how to fix the death trap of a hole in the front yard, though.

    (Hang in there. It gets worse for a little bit because MOVING SUCKS, but then it gets better. Promise.)

    Casey Reply:

    @Burgh Baby, Everything you said. Can I call you in tears? Because holy cow.

    Burgh Baby Reply:

    @Casey, Seriously, you totally can. We spent so much time posturing and arguing with banks and lawyers and real estate agents that I honestly thought we were going to be homeless. Instead, we’re living in a really freakin’ big house that someday I will love.

    You will be, too. Eventually. ;-)

  14. My boyfriend bought a foreclosure around this time last year, and while it was not the nightmare you’re currently experiencing, it was definitely some kind of bad dream. The woman who owned it before us was subletting it to about, oh, TWENTY TENANTS–tenants who left the windows open during a rainstorm and let their dogs all over the carpets and walked everywhere in muddy shoes. The white carpets had turned interesting shades of blue, brown and pink, we spent the winter with saran wrap over the windows to keep out gigantic drafts, one bathroom is STILL not usable, and yes, there were…VERMIN. Oh, and then the HOA got involved and made the boyfriend pay over a thousand dollars for a new door because, and I quote, the old one “wasn’t an approved color.”

    …next time, we are NOT buying a fixer-upper. Period. In conclusion, I’m really sorry. I know it’ll all work out eventually, but getting there can seriously make a girl contemplate gross bodily harm.

    Casey Reply:

    @Talulah, We saw fixer uppers like that and avoided any one that smelled like pee. It was just better for everyone involved.

    Talulah Reply:

    @Casey Avoiding the smell of pee is generally a good idea. Our sticking point (ew) was the obvious presense of mouse droppings and ****roaches.

    Pee you can clean up. ****roaches are forever.

  15. It’s karma – because you unfriended me on Facebook!

    Took it personally,
    Anonymous

  16. It’s karma – for unfriending me on Facebook. The universe is kind of a bitch like that.

  17. Wait… you have a house (I don’t know what state of acquisition you’re in, so “own”, “want”, “like”, whatever) that’s worth $110k (according to June real estate pricing) and it needs $190k in renovations?

    Woah. At that ratio, would it make more sense to demolish and rebuild? Is there something miraculous about its construction that’s forcing you into renovating instead of rebuilding?

    Casey Reply:

    @SciFi Dad, No no no, they did our paperwork wrong. Instead of typing in $108K they typed in $190K.
    A TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE MISTAKE. Right?
    Blah.
    Our offer was $108K, the house is worth $145K as is and we’ll be putting about $30K into renovations so if the bank would just shape up we’d be in good shape.

    SciFi Dad Reply:

    @Casey, Ah. I thought the loan you talked about was for renos only! That makes a lot more sense then.

  18. I’m so sorry your first house is being such an experience! Ugh!

    We were torn between bamboo and cork – we have cork. Sometimes I wonder if the bamboo would have came complete with Pandas and then I realize I must have been drinking.

    I hope the house stuff gets better for you!

    Casey Reply:

    @Jess, Do you ever want to pin stuff to your floor?
    I’m glad this is our first house, all this work after law school is kind of good, since we’re already in the frame of mind of stuff sucking.
    Silver lining right?

    Jess Reply:

    @Casey, The hubs is always joking about just pinning reminders to the floor but he hasn’t tried it yet. I just like that you can’t hear the dogs thudding across the floor when they get up to high speeds.

  19. That $375 you’re paying…goes right in the pocket of that person dragging their feet

    …or at least it seems like it

    Can’t wait for the before and after pics:)

    Casey Reply:

    @Rick, Lender credits baby, LENDER CREDITS.

  20. There may not be pics of the contractor but his website sure is dreamy! All that crown molding and miles of dreamy tiles. YUMMY!

  21. ah, best of luck. Selling/Buying a house is such a pain, going through it all myself as well.

    it will be all worth it!!!

  22. I can personally vouch that your contractor rocks. And the Moosh is not the first little girl to declare him dreamy! I’m mentioning this because I know he read your original house post and thought it was hilarious. He’s just cool like that.

    Just think how AWESOME it is going to be to celebrate this year’s holidays in your own home. All the sucky stuff will eventually fade away.

  23. The moosh has a crush on a guy named G*** SNODGRASS???

    **snort**

    (Sorry, G***.)

  24. Ugh. Sounds like a total pain. But just think of how wonderful it’s going to be. In this case think of the DESTINATION, not the journey. ;-)

  25. Where in TEXAS do you need me to go? Cause I would totally kick someones arse for you, but only if you want me to.

    :) Hope things get better in the house saga soon!!!! Are you sure you want to paint the walls? I thought you liked those colors.

  26. When you 1st blogged about your future home, that night I had a dream that Amby & I went to visit you and the walls of your home were lined in bright-colored candy! It was beautiful! Needless to say, your mini-me couldn’t have been happier! ;) Ahh the things we dream about…

  27. Oh gosh. What a mess. Grrrrr….for you!

  28. Ah, I’m sorry. I had a similar story about getting into our home last fall. It sucked. We are STILL remodeling.

    Thanks for an update. I was wondering what the heck was going on.

  29. Casey-
    I’m really sorry things are going so slow for your move. Did I ever tell you about the time we were getting ready to move on a sunday 1 month before my due date the house was barely packed at all on Tuesday and my water broke at 1 am wednesday morning? Yeah, trying to organize a move from the hospital (mandatory 3 day stay here) is not so easy. We still moved on time (!), though, and had a shisha (celebrate the 6th day after birth) for our new little girl. But then I slept for 3 days.

  30. hey! what good is a hot contractor if we can’t see a picture of him? just sayin’….

  31. oh noes! That stinks, but I am glad that someday, hopefully before the Moosh starts college you will be in your happy house. Just know that I LOVE to paint and when you are ready I am a mere 5 hours away. You can make it up to me by coming to vacuum pretty much whenever you want. But bring the fancy Dyson because my Kirby is one heavy mo-fo.

  32. I feel your pain. We were thisclose to doing the same thing, with a house that needed some “updates” like a kitchen and some bathrooms. And it was going to be GLORIUS, I say. Until it wasn’t.

    But that’s a story for another day.

    Now, no braining the mortgage people while you wait, it only makes the process move slower! You can brain them AFTER the closing.

  33. Oi. Good luck lady.

  34. What a nightmare. Yuck.

    Love that Moosh loves the contractor. hee hee