here but not there, hiding.

I am not doing well.

Sorry you have to watch this.

But thank you for being here.


  1. Oh Casey, I feel for you so much! I’ve battled depression and anxiety for much of my life and HUGS to you. I know how hard that can be and how tough it can be to keep going. If you ever need someone to talk to I’m here. I hope you’re okay and know that you have all kinds of support.

  2. I call it the “monster.” It’s the only was to describe how it completely overtakes life.

    My thoughts are with you.

  3. Oh babe! I am sending you fierce hugs and loving thoughts. I wish I could do more. You are completely incredible and I so wish I could make it all better. Keep on fighting and if you need me, I am here.

  4. I’m sorry you are having a rough time. I hope that it gets better very soon.

  5. will still be here. hope things start looking up and you start feeling better.

  6. I am sorry that you are in a bad patch. It sucks when I have been there. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  7. One of the hardest things for me to admit openly. I’ve dealt with PPD & anxiety after both babies and for the first time with this pregnancy. It’s under control now (“benefits outweighed the risks”!) but when I was in the middle of it during my 1st trimester & early 2nd when people would ask me, “Are you feeling better?” I would say out loud, “Yes…” but would think, “Physically, yes. Emotionally? NOPE.”

    BUT people can’t help and be there for you unless you TELL them. You’ve done a good thing.

  8. As a card carrying member of the Moosh Fan Club, I offer a smile and open helping hand whenever you need one.

  9. Lot’s of love and prayers sent your way. Things don’t always go well, but know that we are here to help you pick you up and dust you off when you are ready.

    Waiting in the wings…*hugs*

  10. Sending internet hugs & prayers your way.

  11. I’m so sorry. I hope the sun starts to shine for you soon.

  12. I know what it’s like when the monsters come back. Best of luck to you, Casey.

  13. Anxiety sucks. I’ve dealt with it for most of my life, and unless you’ve felt it, it’s hard to explain to others how consuming it is. HANG IN THERE!!!!! XOXOXOXO

  14. hugs to you casey.

  15. I wish badly that I could do SOMETHING? If I can, you’ll tell me, right?

  16. Would a pair of Wiggles tickets put a smile on your face? No? Damn. I’ll keep brainstorming.

  17. Love you.

    I’m not sure if this will even mean anything, but even in your dark moments you seem like an incredibly cool person/wife/mother/friend. And gosh, I envy those that get to hang out with you all the time.

  18. Hugs.

    I am so impressed with you putting yourself out there and allowing us to watch. You are amazing as a writer, a photographer, a mother, and simply as a person. Hang in there.

  19. can you get some cotton candy? that usually makes me feel a bit better. sometimes kool-aid works too. (((big hugs))) you know you can do it, well, we know you can, just listen to all of us.

    Two-Four-Six-Eight…I think you’re really GREAT!!! I even wore my short skirt for that cheer.

    Rick Reply:

    Heck, even I’d wear a short skirt if I thought it would do any good. But you don’t want to hear me sing:)

  20. ((((BIG HUGS))))

  21. Seems to be going around. I’ve been feeling really depressed/anxious lately, too. Makes you wonder if it can spread through the internet.

    Hugs to you, and I hope you know you’re loved by many.

  22. I’ve tried to comment on many of your posts of late but nothing I type up seems adequate. So just know that while you don’t know me, I feel like I know you from reading your blog. I appreciate your openness on here. I can’t imagine how hard this latest post was. I wish you luck and send prayers your way that you will soon be back to feeling like yourself!

  23. Hey, I’m thinking of you. I too have had my share of anxiety and depression. PLEASE don’t forget we all love you and are here for you. You are wonderful, smart, competent, and fabulous. Even if you don’t feel that way inside. If you want to talk, I’m me and I’ll give you my cell if you want it. I’m sure you have lots of friends who care about you, but I do too. Hang in there, girlie, this hell doesn’t last forever. I promise. ~Susan

  24. First, you don’t ever need to be sorry.

    Second, you can and will get through this suckiness.

    Third, I’m calling you right now.

    Love you, lady.

  25. Awww. *hugs*
    It was great to meet you, even if you felt like your head wasn’t in the best space to fully enjoy the con.

  26. Casey, take all the time you need for you. I’ve had struggles with major depression & anxiety, so I can relate your words. I’m pulling & praying for you. And I’ll be here when you have more to share.

  27. Hugs. Just great big hugs that might not mean anything but I mean them to mean everything. Hugs.

  28. I’m sorry.

    Your picture is still fabulous though!

  29. PPD and anxiety suck. I know because I suffer from them as well. If you need anything don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m always here.

  30. Oh girl – you need to grab that little girl of yours and fly over to Vancouver for some fun! I could take you Whistler and we could take pictures of our sweet children. I will force smiles back into you!!!

  31. And by the way – I am serious. Come here. You will love it. Except that rainy season has started today. But maybe the sun will come out if YOU come. I will have a word with God about it. K?

  32. ((hugs)) I know your pain though ours may be different. I am good at the hiding. Too good maybe. You get used to the hiding behind the camera/plastered on smile/the excuses/etc. etc. etc.

    Keeping you in my prayers…

  33. {{hugs}} You’re in my thoughts

  34. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hoping that you feel better soon…

  35. Kristen McD says:

    Hold tight. You’ll make it.

  36. Hang in there lady.

  37. It probably isn’t something that cheese dip and really amazing Mexican will help, but next time (or anytime) you decide to come down to Louisville, I know where to find some. And sometimes it helps momentarily.


  38. *HUGS* and a blankey. you’re not alone.

  39. SO, SO sorry, sweetheart. This is the first post I’ve read in a while, since I’ve been so busy at work. I’m just so sorry. Hang in there.

  40. Hang in there. You have a lot of friends pulling for you and ready and willing to jump in and help with anything you’ll let them do. It’s hard to see it when you feel this way – but you are one lucky lady.

  41. xo

  42. Hugs to you. Here if you need me.

  43. I think you are amazing, no matter what. Someday I hope to tell you that in person. I offer all the support and prayer you need.

  44. I am so sorry. Thinking about you.

  45. **HUGS** Thinking of you, and praying things look up again soon.

  46. Let me know if you’d like anyone to send down chocolate, grilled cheese sandwiches or warm blankets. Those always help.

  47. I’m sorry! Fuzzy hugs your way. Please remember that some of this is probably still medication induced. It *is* going to lift. I’ll pray it lifts quickly and that you feel light and happy again soon!

  48. Hang in there, Casey. I’ve been lurking on your blog for quite a while now, and I always look forward to your insightful and pithy comments. I hope that this hard time passes quickly for you. Know that everyone out here is cheering for you!

  49. much love to you. You know if you need anything I am here for you. Just like you were here for me over the summer.

    ((hugs)) and prayers honey, it sucks but I know you will come through it.

  50. heart. breaking. for. you. may there be peace where restlessness reigns. may there be understanding in the midst of confusion. may there be hints of joy in the darkest places. may there just be a small crack of light today to flood your soul and give you comfort.


  1. [...] On Monday, I saw a retreat from the world. [...]