For a long time Cody and I played three little pigs with our lives. Only the third little pig was the the moosh and she just kind of came along for the ride given her building abilities are still a little underdeveloped and one can’t really build a house from cheese and unicorns.
For the longest time Cody and I were building a little figurative house together. It wasn’t anything great but it was ours.
Then law school came.
Looking back over the last three years it is a miracle that Cody and I came out the other side of law school still married.
For the naivety I had while in the thick of law school I am grateful.
Cody and I continued building our lives only instead of working on the same house, we were simply building houses next door to each other. Same street, different addresses. Cody kept building his higher and stronger out of really expensive law school bricks while mine came more slowly. I had to make each brick by hand and hope it would stay together.
At several points my bricks crumbled. I was left with nothing but a pile of rubble and the shadow of Cody’s towering mansion. I knew I couldn’t stop him from building his to help me, after all, that mansion he was building was going to be my future too.
So instead of asking him for help and relying on him I eventually pushed my pile of rubble back up into a mud hut. I just didn’t have the energy to build my house brick by brick over and over. Eventually I gave up and pitched a tent. Waiting for Cody to finish his mansion so I could move in.
His mansion is done.
Everything one would want if they could build a life with someone else.
But the truth is? The mansion is empty. It’s his accomplishment. I wasn’t really around for any of it. I just get to move in to this perfect life he’s created for us while I was off to the side struggling to hold myself together for the last three years. We both take blame for the distance between us.
I never asked, he never offered.
This past week has brought out the wrecking balls. We’ve destroyed the mansion together.
We’re back to a pile of rubble.
And it’s the best pile of rubble I’ve ever seen. From it we’re going to start building OUR life, brick by brick.
The way it should have been from the beginning.