Let me tell you a little about my life so far in 2010.
I get to cook. A lot. Counter space! A fridge that has it’s own zip code! A dishwasher that does everything short of load and unload itself! A kitchen faucet that is more bendy than Sting! It’s spectacular. Three meals in a day is hardly enough to keep me occupied.
Every night Cody and I do this little ditty called P90X. Maybe you’ve seen the infomercials. Yeah. It’s one of those workouts. The leader dude is named Tony Horton (or as I call him, Tony Ho) and if you were to be in the same room when Tony is telling me what to do you would hear me break my New Year’s resolution to swear less.
But here’s the thing. I’ve done the Shred thing with Jillian. Jillian is a wench (edited to honor aforementioned resolution.) I hate her. And her little backup minions are way to big on the smiling! and the perky! And I’m sorry, but when someone says “THESE ABS DON’T COME FOR FREE!” it makes me want to sit on her and force feed her a cheeseburger while I have a Klondike bar and yell something like “I’LL BET THOSE EYEBROWS DON’T COME FOR FREE!” Tony’s a little more my style, even though his workouts are over an hour, make me swear and leave me whimpering when I get out of bed, stand up or basically do anything other than breathe, I’ll stick with him (As long as Cody does it with me, I have the motivation of a five year old doing taxes when it comes to working out.)
After our workout we shower and gather again, only this time wrapped in faux Snuggies. (His is Broncos themed, mine is the Rolls Royce of stupid blankets with sleeves from Brookstone.)
It’s a darn good thing I got mine in pink because Cody has Rolls Royce Snuggie envy.
Once relaxed and Snuggified we each do our thing, him watching football, me looking at funny pictures of cats exploring the very depths of the Internet. Often times you will find us playing Super Mario Bros. on the Wii. Have you played this game yet? Let me tell you, Mario (Cody) can either help Luigi (me) out or screw him over royally which includes but is not limited to jumping on his head, pushing him into black holes, nailing him with turtle shells, taking all the mushrooms for himself or squashing him off screen.
We’re learning to play civilly.
It helps that Tony Ho takes the brunt of my anger.
Not to mention it’s really hard to be angry wrapped in a freaking oversized backwards robe.
(shockingly, I wasn’t paid for any of this…)