Hey kid,

Now that you’re fully mobile I’d just like to admit that one of the most not awesome things about parenting is waking up to you staring at me.

Seriously, scares me to death.

Last night I discovered something even more not awesome.

Rolling over in bed to you on my pillow, STARING AT ME.

And you’re always like “What? Isn’t this bed big enough for the three of us?” Not completely understanding that waking to a staring set of eyeballs is the kind of stuff nightmares are made of.

I mean, there’s other stuff that kind of sucks when I stop and really pay attention to it, an elbow to an unassuming boob, clippy barrettes shoved so deep into my scalp they draw blood, stepping on Polly Pocket crap in bare feet and the constant CONSTANT sticky.

But today at lunch? I taught you how to stick orange peels in your teeth.

feeling peely

I also taught you how to farmer blow in the shower. Take that phlegm!

By far the best lesson learned? When I taught you to yank your dad’s leg hair when he rendered you helpless with tickles. This is a skill that will serve you painfully well in life.

I get to be with you everyday.

stay at home awesome.

We have a backyard for you to explore.

the great backyard

A house for you to play in.

shadow moose.

I love love love you you you.

Please stop staring at my while I’m sleeping.

xo

Comments

  1. LOL.

  2. Beautiful post, lady.

  3. oh gah, my middle son does this, i actually get scared at night that “tonight he is gonna be there staring at me” so many things that are weird about parenting, gross, ugly and beautiful!

  4. Love this.

  5. Oh yeah, that’s the best stuff of life.

    And also- I think I dread the feeling I get when I can SENSE the eyeballs staring at me before I even open my eyes. Fareaky.

    Steph

  6. Stepping on Polly Pockets is the worst. My foot hurts just thinking about it.

    Love the backyard!

  7. over here, we think she’s pretty awesome too.

  8. Have to admit…glad to hear my own little odd-duck is not the only one that does this. Fortunately, she decides to go to Daddy’s side of the bed to stand and stare.

  9. Yeah, that is always a weird one. If they’d just say something, but the staring makes them all zombie like.

  10. The other fun thing to teach them at this age is the Wet Willy (wet finger in someone’s ear). Just make sure you teach her first & make the rules so that she is NOT allowed to do it to you (taught in my house as something you do to boys).

  11. I hate being stared at while sleeping too. Any my older two have taken to SNEAKING into our room, because they don’t want to get “yelled at”, so you’re sleeping, and you hear a floor board creek. Then nothing. And you doze back and then there! it is again! So you sit up… no one. Only to find out they are CRAWLING into your room. GEEEZ. Gives me the creeps just typing it. =)

  12. Agreed. My nephew is so creepy with the staring in the night. But they’re so delicious you kind of forgive them.

  13. Beautiful photos!

    And farmer blow? I guess you need to teach me, too!

  14. Sweet thoughts. I kinda miss those rude awakenings, though.

    Love the photos.

  15. So funny. Love that Addie girl.

  16. I shut my door every night just because of those moments where I have been scared right out of my skin by my child. No whispering or tapping, just staring. What is so weird is how you can actually feel it before you even see them–instinct or something. Very sweet post.

  17. i totally hear you. hilarious.

  18. dear addie-
    i too enjoy climbing into bed with my mom and staring at her until my jedi mind tricks make her open her eyes. then i tell her how stinky her breath is. she usually laughs and pushes me off the bed.
    your friend,
    ainsley

  19. Our girl use to stare at her daddy (she’s 16 now, so she just runs in like a herd of elephants, love those floorboards). She also use to come in and whisper “I’m whispering so I don’t wake you, but can I turn the tv on?”

  20. Aww, the moosh can farmer-blow in the shower? What a good little Hoosier :)

  21. Your beautiful kid did this to Trinity when she was visiting our house (the whole “stare until you wake up yelling thing”). And I laughed and laughed. Because Trinity does it to me. KARMA! (of course my Dad laughs when Trinity does it to me because I did it to him….)

  22. Oh your fantastic pictures! Seriously.

  23. How beautiful! You are indeed both lucky girls :)

  24. Sounds like someone needs to install one of those crazy lock contraptions on another certain someone’s new bedroom door. ;)

  25. My oldest is not much of a stare at me in my sleep kid. If she comes in while I am sleeping she wakes me up. My youngest is still locked in the crib (love that) but time will tell!

  26. I live in an old house for just this reason: squeaky floors and doors wake me before the stare down.

  27. Amy in StL says:

    I’ve never heard it called the farmer blow but yeah it really teaches snot a lesson! Also, my little spanielly dog does this but he usually punctuates it with a hard poke with his nose if you don’t feel him staring.

  28. If you think Polly Pockets are bad, you should try stepping on Hot Wheels cars – ouch!

    Only you could make writing about something you hate sound so beautiful.

  29. Oh, how I feel your pain. One of my twins learned very early how to climb out of his crib. Silently. He would come, of course, to my side of the bed and stand there, sucking on his pacifier, and stare solemnly at my face from 3 inches away until some sixth sense roused me out of unconsciousness and into a flat out adrenaline rush because NO ONE should EVER be watched for ANY period of time from THREE INCHES AWAY.

    Yes, that is a run-on sentence. Yes, it is.

  30. is farmer blow like a snot rocket? ’cause that’s awesome.

  31. I just wanted to thank you for the beautiful Blissdom post you wrote (below.) I didn’t want to comment there and take away someone’s chance to win the necklace…but I did want to tell you how much I enjoyed getting to know you a bit better last weekend. You are one super-fun gal and it was awesome to chat and talk with you!

  32. Absolutely beautiful…both this post, and your daughter. These posts will mean the world to her when she is older.

  33. that is up there on the freakiness scale and The Chicken still does it to me. What is even creepier is when they feel the need to come in the bathroom, sit on the stool or the tub ledge across from you when you are *ahem* conducting business to chat with you. Why, because you aren’t really that busy…are you mom?

  34. So you mean that I can’t escape the staring thing that my cat does while I’m sleeping when I have kids? Damn. (Does this mean that the kids will be plotting to kill me, too?)

  35. it’s called FARMER BLOW?

    Well I’ll be.

    Gah. I love her. Send her to me. Miley and Michael say hi.

  36. This is why Theo will be in a crib until high school. The thought of that FREAKS ME OUT OMG.

  37. i love this post. i need my little boys to read it and STOP STARING AT ME WHILE I SLEEP! I almost died laughing on the farmer blow comment – my husband totally does that! I accused him of making it up but I guess I’m totally out of it. Must be a midwest thing and I just missed it…Anyway – you rock.