**direct link to my article here.**

A long time ago I was asked to participate in an annual online rally for and in behalf of new moms on Mother’s Day.

The topic is postpartum depression and I was asked to write a letter to new moms about how “this too shall pass.”

There are 24 women participating, doctors, authors, nurses, social workers and most of all, moms.

The reminder email came while I was in an ugly place. I had intentions of writing witty prose about how you’ll look back at those days of PPD and pat yourself on the back for making it through.

But I never had time to pat myself on the back because I was thrown headfirst (no pun intended) right back into the depression I have always had. I’m afraid to go back and read what I wrote and submitted…it will go live later tonight (a new post is going up every hour all day.)

But after reading through the other submissions that have gone up this far I am proud knowing that I wrote mine when I did. The other women have written brilliant things. And it is going to help a lot of new moms see the silver lining, and maybe after reading 24 survival stories they will be able to keep calm, call their doctor and carry on.

My submission doesn’t have such a happy ending. Yes, postpartum depression ended for me, but the other depression, the one not induced by sleepless nights, colic and wacky hormones has not ended, nor will it ever end.

But what I learned is that my depression will never be the end of me. I will keep going.

Some days will be uglier and far more exhausting, and those days may turn into weeks.

But I will keep going.

Because I know, I KNOW, that even though I can’t feel it now? There’s happiness out there. And I will keep myself surrounded by those things that bring happiness until one day the outside and the inside click. And I will be able to truly enjoy my lovely little life without a giant black cloud enveloping my brain.

The articles are brilliant, a lot of the women you may already know. I will link mine directly when it goes up (here it is!) but until then, there are a dozen others already up, moms who get PPD and got through it. Once, twice sometimes even four times.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you. But if it’s not so happy for you today, don’t feel guilty, because the happy isn’t all there for me today either.

xo

Comments

  1. Happy Mother’s Day to you girlie.

    Love you much & so thankful that I can call you friend.

    xo

  2. ((hugs))

    Thank you for your honest portrayal of depression.

  3. Thank you for the reminder that there’s someone else out there who gets it.
    Happy Mother’s Day to you!

  4. Thank you for the reminder that there’s someone else out there who gets it.Happy Mother’s Day to you!
    +1

  5. I am honored to know you. Thought of you today when I needed a filling for cinnamon rolls, and used your recipe. It was my treat to myself on Mother’s Day. Hope you are as good to yourself as you deserve today. xoxoxoxox

  6. Yours is brilliant too. We are all at different places. You wrote honestly and bravely about where you are, which I know will speak to many readers. I’m so happy you are a part of this wonderful day. Many blessings to you.
    - katherine

  7. Happy Mother’s Day, my beautiful friend. It’s never ending, but again, you handle it with such grace.

    Steph

  8. I just read your post over on the PPD site. I loved it. You and so many women captured what I have been feeling like…but I thought I was alone. I thought I could just tough it out and work harder. Thank you for being a voice for us. Thank you for being you.

  9. just read it. I hope I don’t have to tell you – but I got your back. you know that right?
    xoxox

  10. I just read the postpartum progress post. Thanks for writing it. It helps to know someone else feels the same way. Happy Mothers Day.

  11. Melissa says:

    I just read your article at postpartumprogress.com. Out of all the articles I have read today (I refresh my page every hour) yours touched me the most. Not just because I’m in the throes of the worst of PPD but because I also don’t have insurance. I called my insurance company to be told with a snuff “oh, we don’t have mental health benefits, nope, none” And the first group meeting I can find is in two weeks. I still can’t talk about it out loud, but I applaud you for doing so. Thank you for honesty.

    Casey Reply:

    @Melissa, I’m so sorry.

    I wish someone, anyone would listen to us.

    It costs so much more than money to leave so many women suffering. The relationships with our kids, our loved ones and sometimes even our lives.

    I hope you can find the help you need and deserve, and until then I pray that you’ll be surrounded by people who get you.

    xoxo

  12. Today was an AWFUL day for me and reading this helped me know I am not the only one. I have struggled with depression my whole life and after my 2 pregnancies. My youngest is going to be 2 next month and I still feel like I have PPD. I often wonder how that could be??? For the past 2 weeks I have felt myself slipping in a hole. I wish I could feel like it will pass but I don’t.

    Thank you for being so honest. That means so much to everyone who has ever felt like this.

  13. casey- this is me hugging you and applauding you for your strength and voice.

  14. Kathleen says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I felt the same way yesterday–and felt so guilty about not being happy. Sometimes that is just not possible.

  15. Thank you so much. It’s so good to know that I’m not the only one who struggles on mother’s day…then feels guilty for it. Your post was beautiful, as always.

  16. And it’s also good to know I’m not the only one who struggles daily to make an effort…just to get out of bed and try.

  17. Happy Mother’s Day. Thanks so much for being honest. Too many people try to sweep depression under the rug.

  18. i think you’re amazing. the truth and the honesty is what makes your story more extraordinary than others. everyone has their tribulations, regardless of age or motherhood or marital status. you’re giving voice to this part of your life- the not so pretty part- and in the process allowing yourself to win, not this darkness. you honesty makes my heart ache and sing all at the same time. please take care of yourself as you are greatly loved, even by those of us who only know your “virtually.”

  19. Thank you for posting this, and the post above. I just wrote about depression on my blog earlier today. Depression suck, thank you for being honest!

Trackbacks

  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by mooshinindy. mooshinindy said: new post. http://bit.ly/bR1lun the one about the mental health of moms. [...]