Yeah. So, that’s how my day started yesterday. But yesterday was Saturday.
Want to hear how my day ended on Friday?
I was attacked by a duck.
A white one.
Addie had a picnic at her preschool, I was sitting on a blanket discussing the upcoming Indy 500 with some other parents when this duck wanders over. For some reason the duck felt the need to stare me down. Considering I’m eight times the size of a duck and I know how to prepare one in orange sauce I figured the duck would see I was eating lettuce and just waddle away.
Looking back at the photo of the duck (thanks for capturing the horror Erin!) the duck has a crazy look in its eye.
Addie came up with the term “peckle” which is completely appropriate, considering she watched the whole thing, kid is scarred. Yells at anything with wings bigger than her foot “DON’T PECKLE MY MOM BIRD!”
The crazy eyed duck was just there…being a duck…then it charged! at my face! It hopped up on my right arm and pecked at my forehead four or five times until I screamed and flailed so loud and hard the duck had to either bail or lose a major organ.
I DO NOT KID! There were witnesses!
I don’t care if this is karma for my post threatening to bust a cap in their feathered fundaments. IT IS ON.
Alfred Hitchcock and Colonel Sanders were both onto something.
Birds are creeps. Tasty tasty creeps.