Hi Dyson, it’s me, Casey.
You have to understand that when I picture your product development meetings you have a giant photo of me with a goofy grin at the head of your boardroom. A huge picture of me with a giant sign off to the side stating “THIS? THIS IS WHO WE’RE SELLING TO.”
Because Dyson? I’ve bought it.
I dare you to find someone else who had “Use a Dyson Airblade” on their life list. Not only have I used a Dyson Airblade, I may or may not go out of my way to dirty my hands if only for the chance to use the Airblade again. I may have even once scolded someone in a public restroom for using paper towels instead of the marvel of hand drying that is the Airblade.
And don’t even get me started on your vacuums. If I could? I would buy another Dyson just to detail my original Dyson. The pioneers dreamed in acres, I dream in square feet (of carpet.) Although, if you could find a way to make vacuuming my stairs less of a swear inducing task? I’d really appreciate it. Thanks.
So as I stood in BestBuy on Saturday and watched my husband stick his hand in and out of your new fan, the Air Multiplier I wondered, have you taken it too far? I mean, the commercials claim that my current fan with blades is unsettling me with buffeting, and that I don’t even realize that this unpleasant buffeting is occurring. And that I won’t realize the utter unsettleingness of it all until I’m in the presence of a Dyson Air Multiplier.
I WANT TO BELIEVE YOU DYSON!
After all, I was doing the same thing in Target on Wednesday. Sticking my hand in and out of that darn fan JUST BECAUSE I COULD. Wondering if maybe, deep down on some level I was becoming a calmer, less buffeted person simply by being in the presence of this fan.
Are you to the point now where your consumers are so loyal (hi, me) that you could go all Emperor’s New Clothes on us? That you could make a fan, charge an astronomical amount of money for it (A FAN!) and trust that after my near religious experiences with both my vacuum and the Airblade I will just go for the Air Multiplier no questions asked?
IS THIS YOUR BRILLIANT SCHEME DYSON?
I mean, look at Apple. If they started making baby monitors that looked super cool and promised you that you never even realized how well your baby could sleep until you used an iMonitor, you bet people would be lined up for days just to get one.
Even though really?
It was just a baby monitor.
That looked cool.
I’ll bet you there would even be people who would get pregnant just so they would have an excuse to purchase one.
So give it to me straight Dyson. Are you lying to us?
Because the only buffeting I’m aware of involves a big warm bun, a huge hunk of meat, medium rare with mustard ‘be nice, Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes big kosher pickle and a cold draft (root) beer.
That kind of buffeting? I can totally handle. And really, there’s no unpleasantness there at all.
Looking forward to hearing from you.