You? You are my sunshine. You also have a lot of questions (like A LOT)…so…here…I shall answer them.

I have peed on every dollar store pregnancy test in Marion, Johnson, Hendricks, Hancock and Hamilton County. It’s become a party trick…see how quick I can make the second line show up. I’m to the point I can make the pregnant line show up before the default line, I’d show you…but…no.

I am eight weeks. I think. Pregnancy math is hard. Apparently it starts before you even get pregnant. I am due  at the end of April/early May (I think) which is also when my birthday is. Look, I know I waited a long time for this…but I’m not sure I’m ready to share my birthday yet. We’ll discuss.

I know eight weeks isn’t out of the woods. But frankly I was tired of being in the woods by myself. And besides, if something were to happen I would tell you anyway so regardless I would have dragged you all into the woods with me at some point anyway. Here, bug spray, you’ll need it.

Yes. My husband is an attorney. No. We do not have insurance. Yes. This scares the hell out of me.

Hyperemesis. Nope, not this time (so far. yay!) It hit me like a ton of bricks with Addie between seven and eight weeks, this time it’s just a gentle slime of nausea that ebbs and flows with the occasional barf and numerous dry heaves. If *this* is the morning sickness so many books talk about? I want a trophy for surviving with Addie.

Yes. I’m aware that with the difference in sickness there’s a good chance this one has some extra parts. Which means there could be a little tiny penis inside me. This unnerves me greatly.

Things I forgot about? The pee. How I can produce so much pee at all hours of the day is beyond my comprehension. And my hair. Which probably shouldn’t follow the pee thing, but still. My hair hasn’t been falling out. Which is totally awesome. And it’s all lustrous and bouncy. Go pregnancy hair! Also? Pregnancy boobs. The titty fairy giveth and birth will taketh away.

The biggest thing I forgot about? Making people is exhausting.

How did I tell Cody? I threw a stick at him from across his big lawyer desk at work. Exactly how you pictured it, I know. Nothing says surprise! like an overpriced piece of plastic your wife has peed on to really drive the point home.

Does Addie know? Yes. We told her after I had a particularly rough day with the barfs. She wasn’t happy. (Remember, this is the kid who shouted “I DON’T WANT KIDS, THEY’RE TOO MUCH WORK.” at the dinner table. Amen kid, amen.) However she slept on it and now she thinks it’s a capital idea. But she makes everyone who comes in contact with me promise to take care of me. Which is cute when it’s Cody but gets awkward in the Costco checkout line.

Nickname? Mozzi. As in the little charming bald guy from White Collar He can’t be dead. If he’s really dead? You’re dead to us USA writers.

Most of all? The emotions. Pregnancy is full of so much funny (gas! boobzilla!)…but it’s shadowed by so much stress.

But with all the comments yesterday (!!) this one in particular struck me (thank you Sarah)…I need to remember nothing has gone wrong. I need to quit thinking about it as if something has. Because it hasn’t. Well, except for the grilled cheese Cody made for dinner. That? WAS WRONG.

I am allowed to be happy about this.

Bridget said “Miscarriage and infertility steal a part of you. The part that lets you hope and dream with reckless abandon.

Well I’m stealing them back.

So there.

Comments

  1. I am so thrilled for you Casey — congratulations to you and Cody and of course Miss Addie. :) Even if kids are a lot of work. LOL

  2. Congratulations Casey. I’m so glad to hear about your journey.

  3. Sherry Lane says:

    Such a good comment by Sarah, and I totally agree! I had a molar pregnancy miscarriage in 2005, and when we finally got pregnant again in 2008, I was a MESS the whole.9.months. I know it’s easier said than done…. But looking back now, I wish I would have enjoyed it more. I can’t wait to hear every step of this!!! Thank you so much for sharing it with us all!

  4. I am so happy and excited for you, I could cry! Yay, Casey, yay! <333

  5. YES! Steal them back!! And you’re right, we’re happier to be in the woods with you. (pass that bug spray again, would ya?) :)

  6. I know about that waiting feeling. Being afraid to be happy. Waiting for something to go wrong. (Did you know I miscarried before having Zoe… and miscarried before having Ana? And then my whole nucal measurment thing. Ugh) It’s hard to grab on to the happy and live it. But you steal it back and hold onto it for everything it’s worth. Because it is SO worth it. You so deserve the happy.

  7. Bridget said “Miscarriage and infertility steal a part of you. The part that lets you hope and dream with reckless abandon.”

    Well I’m stealing them back.

    I LOVE that!!

    And I also love how you told your husband! I think its perfect :P

  8. Steal it back! I like to imagine that I’m good with a sneak attack, I’ll help if you need it! :)

    Also, YES re: USA.

  9. I got to thinking after the announcement post the other day, and this post definitely made me want to say… it struck me that maybe God was waiting for you to get exactly where you are now. Your attitude is different, and you’re at a point where you were ok with what you had – I specifically remember how sweet the post was about how Addie was enough for you. Plus, you have helped a world of folks by relating to them and helping them put their feelings and struggles into words. It’s just always so neat to me to be able to watch how He works with timing, the things he’s able to accomplish that we can’t see, and the things he has in store for us. :-)

  10. I am so happy for you! God Bless you all!!!!

  11. I haven’t even read this post yet. I was so excited to see that you are pregnant that I had to COMMENT! Congratulations! I wish you much peace as you go through this journey.

  12. So I’m curious- is it cheaper to pay the medical bills outright instead of paying for a private insurance plan? I guess I don’t understand. I’ve heard of a lot of people who are out of school, have a job, have a house, etc but don’t have insurance. Are the premiums too high because of your past procedures? My hubs is still in school and I’ve had a lot of problems medically, but we still have an insurance plan. Please don’t think I’m being rude, I’m just geniunely interested in the obstacles so I can understand better.

  13. I am so glad you’re stealing back the happy. I do have to say, though, girl baby clothes are so much cuter than girl baby clothes. :)

  14. Oh, Casey! I’m so so so happy for you! Congratulations!

  15. I’m so over the moon for you. I know how much previous experiences can steal the joy, but DON’T LET IT! (Although sometimes it’s hard.)

    Looking forward to your pregnancy chronicles.

  16. Congrats! I am so happy for you! I know you thought the journey was over, but good things happen to good people!

  17. Am I allowed to open with congratulations again? Because that’s what I’m thinking.

    I’m sure Addie will be a spectacular big sister, once she learns about the upside of younger siblings (forced playmate who a) is too young to argue and b) worships the ground you walk on, someone to blame stuff on, etc).

  18. What great news – congratulations!!!

  19. Nice FAQ update.

    Your comment that it you are allowed to be happy and that you are taking back the joy made my heart sing a little song. That is the way that it should be. Embrace it!

    I know that if/ when I am ever given the same chance I intend to make a memory feeling of every moment possible. This baby deserves nothing less, so go for it! If you want to go crazy with it you can get a “baby on board” tshirt and wear it every day. :)

    I hope you are feeling great!

  20. I’ve been “away” for most of the week, so missed the initial announcement, but I am so thrilled for you!

    And I’m glad you’re stealing the hope & dreaming back – you deserve to be so happy!

    I look forward to hearing all about the journey (and glad Addie has warmed up to the idea of being a big sister!).

    CONGRATS!

  21. Steal, steal away!
    Hope and dream with reckless abandon…I am finding myself doing that more and more each day with this pregnancy.
    xoxo

  22. Your hair doesn’t fall out when you’re pregnant? That is the coolest thing I’ve ever heard! I shed like a freaking alpaca!

    (do alpacas shed?)

  23. When Dave was still in law school…I got pregnant. Not having insurance scared the CRAP out of me, but I found a practice that offered to see me the full length of the pregnancy (including the 20 wk. ultrasound, GD testing, and birth) for $2500. Maybe you could find that to help you out. There’s a good chance that it will be in a clinic type setting, but don’t let you scare that away! I LOVED my OB and nurses for Paige and would’ve gone back, but go figure, they don’t take you when you actually do have insurance, which is kind of nice for those who truly need their services. :-)

  24. Woot! So very very happy for you :)

  25. I leave for 2 days and miss reading your blog and miss this HUGE news!!!! I am so very, very, very excited and happy for you Casey. What wonderful news for you and your family. Thank you for sharing this with us and bringing us into your woods as always. :) Much happiness and continued health,
    Chris

  26. My journey through the hells of secondary infertility caused me a whole lot of fear and worry while pregnant with the twins, but that hyper-aware state also let me be present for every minute of that pregnancy. Nothing got by me and I mean all the wonderful stuff too. I turned that fear into a deep connection to the process that I did not have with our first. Wishing you just the best!

  27. A reminder to read the heck out of Amalah’s calendar at alphamom.

  28. YOU GO GIRL! Steal back those dreams.

  29. Congrats! My daughter was due on my birthday…but she decided she wanted her OWN day, so she was born 3 days before my birthday. Now we celebrate a birthday week at our house :)

  30. I’m so glad you don’t have hyperemesis this time. I had it bad with both of my pregnancies. It was worth it, of course (completely worth it)…but it was also miserable.

    RE: insurance. Are there any birth centers in your area? They tend to be better-priced (and they tend to provide excellent care too). :)

  31. You go, girl. Steal them back.

    I will be praying for and thinking of you. So so so exciting!

  32. Yea-yahoo. Again.

    I am a health lawyer and can counsel you on health insurance options if you need them, just email.

  33. congratulations and continued success against the gnarly hyperem (it’s less menacing if it has a cute nickname). i had it w/my 2nd baby (yes she’s a girl) and was hooked up to IV through a picc line for 5mos. suckage major to put it mildly so i feel ya, sister. much health and happiness your way. you deserve it mama!

  34. Congrats on the new little one! I just found your blog and have been reading some of the archives. I just wanted to say thank you thank you thank you for writing about what you do. I have been a depression sufferer and PCOS patient for years and people can’t understand either one when I am trying to explain it to them. You put into words those dark moments so wonderfully.
    It’s so nice to see that even with PCOS, you are going to have two wonderful children running around.
    I can’t tell you how many times I have laughed out loud, sympathized, and cried at many of your posts.
    Thank you again for putting words and a face to two diseases that affect women on a daily basis.

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