- First of all I would like to thank my body for taking on this task, I know it’s not an easy one, but man, you’re great.
- Second I would like to thank a certain receptacle in my life for supporting me through my multiple heaves. You haven’t let me down once. You know who you are. *wink*
- Third, I would like to give a little nod to all those pregnancy tests I mercilessly peed on, thank you for always humoring me and showing up with that second little pink line.
- I would like to thank the kiwi fruit for always tasting good and for allowing this pregnant lady to poop on occasion.
- I would like to thank the makers of cherry slushees although it would be much more convienient if the slushee maker were in my fridge door instead of a water dispenser. Just a thought…
- I would like to thank Mexico for exporting your delicious Coca-Cola and allowing Costco to sell it. Man, I thought all hope was lost when I couldn’t find cola syrup in the drugstore anymore, but Mexican Coke? You’re just the greatest.
- Where’s DVR? Is he here tonight? Man, DVR, thank you. Anyone who has ever worked with you knows why.
- I would like to thank Phenergan for being cheap, generic and putting me to sleep so fast I forget to barf.
- I would also like to thank my body pillow, my couches and various other soft surfaces in my house for accommodating so many naps.
- Of course I have to thank my daughter for believing that that soft spot on my belly is in fact a a baby and not acknowledging it for what it truly is, a soft spot with a tiny lime sized baby somewhere underneath.
- I would like to thank Ami, for selflessly arriving in your chariot of Cheerios simply to wipe my brow and scrub my toilets. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to repay you.
- I would like to thank those of you in the maternity wardrobe department. To those of you who have given of your clothes so selflessly when I realized mine were lacking to say the least. Even when you realized my bum is exponentially bigger than yours and that my legs are undeniably shorter than yours.
- I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the multiple pregnancy apps I have downloaded and read each morning. You’re sage wisdom on soda crackers and ginger for nausea is simply invaluable knowledge.
- And last but not least, I would like to thank Cody, my love, for having the balls to knock me up.
- OH! The fans! I have to thank all of the fans out there on the internet that believed in me when I couldn’t even believe Oprah. You guys are the frosting on my cake. The marshmallows in my hot chocolate. The butter on my bread. The zofran in my medical cabinet. Thank you thank you!