Have you ever looked around and felt as if you are in a swirling vortex of negativity and complaints? The last few weeks have felt that way for me. (I mean, it’s pretty much my fault for writing about religion, accepting others, pregnancy, teddy bears and politics within a week’s timeframe. That’s practically begging for naysayers and namecalling!)

I asked twitter for suggestions of what I could write about that NO ONE would have a problem with.

Some people said things like “Cake! Cupcakes! Chocolate! Donuts! BEEF!” In the back of my head all I could see was Jillian Michaels making the gagging face she always makes on Biggest Loser, which then makes me think of all the people who would have a problem with me watching reality TV. Or TV in general. Or with the existence of Jillian Michaels in general.

Other people said “New shoes! Vacations! Massages! Shopping!” Sure, all of those things are great! BUT WHY ARE YOU SPENDING MONEY ON SUCH LAVISH THINGS IN A RECESSION WHEN PEOPLE DON’T EVEN HAVE A ROOF OVER THEIR HEAD? I have become a cynic over the joy that is saving up for and finding the perfect pair of leather boots. (Leather? ANIMAL RIGHTS YOU BABY SEAL CLUBBER!)

Then there where the people who said “Hugs! Kisses! Being in love!” To that I say “HERPES! LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD! LOVE IS FOR FOOLS!

Really the only things that didn’t set off the tiny little cynic in my head (sidenote, the cynic in my head is a middle aged woman with a cigarette in an old yellow barcalounger.) were the suggestions of “Baby giggles! Orgasms!” I dare you to be cynical about baby giggles. The other one? I’m not going there…the cynic says nice girls shouldn’t talk about such things. But I say the cynic needs a good romp in the sack with her husband. (Wait, now someone’s offended that my inner cynic is a woman and that she’s married to a man and I just suggested they do it.)

I have a love affair with quotes. I have had different ones on my business cards for the last year. One said “It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.” -Erma Bombeck and the current one is “Character, like film, develops in darkness.” -Yousuf Karsh (This one means a lot to me after spending the last year recovering from Lupron.)

I have the quote “Everything will be okay in the end, if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” -Anon on my bathroom mirror.

I have a bracelet that reads “Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.” -Indira Gandhi

My name, Casey, means brave. One of the biggest things I have worked on over the last few years is forgiveness. Not only forgiveness of others, but forgiveness of myself. I am not perfect. Not to mention there are people who have no problem pointing out how imperfect I am. Some people even save up months of ammunition simply to point out just how awesomely imperfect I am.

People can be shockingly mean and grumpy.

There’s no need to add to that particular subgenera of society.

Be the change you want to see in the world.” -Mahatma Gandhi

Next time you want to be mean to someone? Don’t. Smile. Walk away. Scream into a pillow. Listen to a baby giggle. Have an orgasm.

And be sure to let me know how that works out for you in the long run.

Comments

  1. I love the saying- God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called.

    Also, I think the saying I’ve been wanting to put on a vintage pearl bracelet will say “I don’t shine if you don’t shine”

    and you know me, eternal glass half full, so my heart is so heavy and weary from the abundance of negativity lately. I take always somehow it personally. All of it.

    Steph

    Adventures In Babywearing Reply:

    @Adventures In Babywearing, I know how to type in order usually. *I always somehow take it personally…

    Rachel ~ A Southern Fairytale Reply:

    @Adventures In Babywearing,

    Steph,

    Casey, Me — we are blessed to have your light in our lives.

    Adventures In Babywearing Reply:

    @Rachel ~ A Southern Fairytale,

    twinkle twink!

    Kirsten (Results Not Typical Girl) Reply:

    “God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called.”

    ((fist bump to Moosh and Steph))

    That rocks. Like you two.

  2. That last line plastered a really big smile on my face. I too love quotes. Thank you for sharing some of your favorites.

  3. Case,

    I love you so much.
    You know this.

    Even when you’re “in the darkness” your light still shines for others.

    I’m so sorry you’re being attacked, you don’t deserve that.

    When I think of you, the words that come to my mind immediately:
    ‘ Hope, Love, Strong’

    This is what you are for me.
    more than that, you are my friend. my heart sister.

    love. you.
    on the dark days, text me.. i’ll send you goofy things ;-)

    Love your quotes, live your quotes.

    love you

  4. My baby girl is ten months old and she hasn’t laughed yet. Not even a giggle. Every day I try to do something that might tickle her funny bone but to no avail.

    Thanks for rubbing what I’m missing in my face.

    Mom from Vernal Reply:

    @mommyshorts, I think you have missed the entire meaning of this particular post. It may not be baby giggles that brightens your day but there is something if you look for it. Life has it’s happiness. Sometimes the happiness is buried a little deeper and the discovery is part of the process of appreciating whatever it is.

    Sarah Reply:

    @mom from vernal

    i think that quite possible mommyshorts did get it and was being funny….

    just sayin’

    Della Reply:

    @Mom from Vernal, Nah, I think she really nailed it: no matter how innocent the intent or uplifting the topic, someone can find a way to shoot it down.

    In other news, babies giggling WHILE I WAS READING THIS POST provided exactly the intended effect at this house. :)

    You should check out the book 14,000 Things To Be Happy About. It’s more of a list of Things The Author is Grateful For, or things you might appreciate. Actually, better than the book is the daily calendar…. you’re less likely to get sucked in, and more likely to look at it daily… (or at least once a week if you’re like me.

    Also on the list of happy for me: floofy messed up morning hair (on babies, big kids, or husbands).

    Also, while produce shopping yesterday, I found an apple that is as big around as a CD. Biggest one I’ve seen in my life. The toddlers are lusting after it while I write this… they’re cracking me up.

    mommyshorts Reply:

    @Mom from Vernal, I rushed over here to defend my comprehension level but I see others have already done it for me.

    Yep- just trying to be funny. That’s my shtick:)

    KAREN Reply:

    @mommyshorts, Good, I was hoping you were not as unhappy as you sounded. Some days are harder than others to find things that make us smile. Have a great week.

  5. I love quotes so much – and all of those you listed are classics.

    Definitely needed this message today!!

  6. I needed this. I need to remember this often. Right now I’ve got an angry parent of one of my students that I need to forgive. Even if she has been ugly and mean over something so incontroversial. Maybe forgiving her will help me keep her from consuming my thoughts, causing me to be the cynic I hate being. On to baby giggles and orgasms. :)

    Michelle Reply:

    @rebecca, I have a quote on my fridge “Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” I try to live that, it makes such a difference.

  7. Just don’t giggle during an orgasm.

    Holly Reply:

    @Untypically Jia, Depends on your relationship. I could see that happening in our house.

  8. It’s been a long time since I commented on your posts, but I’ve read religiously since Bennie sent me to you almost 3 years ago! Today’s post hit a spot because I’ve been feeling the negativity creeping into my mind recently. I wanted you to know that I’ll be using some of your quotes on my FB as reminders of how great we should ALL be!!

    I wanted to go back several weeks and congratulate your family on your upcoming blessing! Even though you feel so crappy, you are able to brighten the days of many people around the world through this blog. So, thank you!

  9. I love this post.

    Winston Churchill is remembered for many quotes, but one of my favorites: “Kites rise highest against the wind – not with it.”

  10. Just wait until the mean people look away, and then stick your tongue out at them. It’s hard to not smile when you are sticking your tongue out at someone…and as a bonus…Everyone else thats sees you sticking out your tongue will smile too! Can’t go wrong using the problem solving skills of a 4yr old. 8)

  11. Your inner cynic and my inner cynic should get together and eat cupcakes (while Jillian isn’t looking) because I too struggle with this.

    There are so many times I have to pull away from social media and even IRL friends because the negativity is overwhelming me. My own cynic is enough negativity that I can’t often take people who are vocally negative. Those are the days where I hit up the library, find a good read, and ignore everything outside my own little sanctuary.

    As far as forgiveness, I’ve gotten really good at forgiving others, but I’m still working on forgiving myself.

    -Abby

  12. I loved this post. As I have loved all of your posts. I have often thought of commenting such sentiments, on many of my favorite blogs, but have fallen into a pattern of anonymous stalking. This just reminds me that the more good I can say the better, so that the negative people (who always seem to talk the loudest) don’t drown out all the positive.
    For every negative comment you receive just think about how many people like me exist who are silently sending good karma and positivity your way!

  13. maybe thats why i am so grumpy lol, i wont tell you which of the two i havent had for a yr but……

  14. Hi, it’s me again. So kind of awkward, but I thought that I’d just tell you that I included you in a blog I wrote a while back on the blogs that inspire me the most. I just thought in case it would make you feel good, I’d let you know. Keep writing. I highly value your honesty and insight.

    http://tricfic.blogspot.com/2010/08/open-to-void.html

  15. Ummmmm…..I have no idea because i have been so negative I am REALLY behind on reading you blog….so all I am going to say is that you havent said anything negative to me and HUG!!!!! :)

  16. Your quotes are now on my fridge. I made room for them beside “be silly, be honest, be kind”. “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.” “If you do not change direction, you will end up where you are going.”

    And some people need to follow the idea of ‘if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all.’

  17. Um…what Rachel said – ditto!

    ditto to Jia too… (*snorfle*)

  18. Call me a hater or negative or whatever, but someone who orgasms after hearing baby giggles has serious mental issues.

    Holly Reply:

    @SciFi Dad, Actually, there has been research that proves exposure to women who nurse and to babies increases overall sexual desire in other women. It seems to trigger hormones that lead to wanting to breed. ;-)

    SciFi Dad Reply:

    @Holly, Nothing ruins a good joke faster than science.

    Loralee Reply:

    @SciFi Dad, SNORT!

  19. One of the benefits of being a small time blogger is that I don’t get any hate. That’s a plus. Because I take things personally. REALLY personally. My skin can be so thin sometimes.

    You can’t make everyone happy all of the time. It’s not possible. So, you work hard to make yourself happy and your family happy and everyone else can bite it.

  20. I love this post! I have a hard time not crying when I hear a baby laugh! So sweet.

  21. I also have a problem with the negativity but I find it’s easier to combat if I just give myself permission to deny the negativity into my field of vision. I don’t watch the news – instead I read articles about issues and listen to podcasts from NPR if I want to be informed. Local news is entirely manufactured fear. When I have facebook friends that are routinely negative, I hide them. I limit friendships with negative people. That doesn’t mean I bail on friends in need – but you know who the negative people are – they are negative even in good times.

  22. Just remember that when someone asks you “What would Jesus do”, freaking out and flipping over tables is a valid answer.

    Michelle Reply:

    @Kait, I think I might need that for my fb status. So true, and so good (in the right place)

  23. Sorry for all the negativity, lady. But for everyone who says something negative to/about you, there’s a bazillion people who have something positive to say to/about you.

    xoxoxo

  24. Mean people suck.

    But you? You are awesomesauce.

  25. Amy in StL says:

    I was never sure what my inner cynic looked like – until I met our office assistant. My inner cynic looks – and now sounds – just like her. Always frowning, dressed frumpy with bad frizzy hair and always with a negative outlook. It’s the one bright thing she’s brought into my life – she gave my cynic a face and voice other than my own.

  26. How did you know this was exactly what I needed to read today. Spent most of last week feeling like I was either tripping and skinning my own knees or like someone else was banging my head into a wall and then kicking me on my way down. Will now focus on baby giggles. And maybe, if my husband is lucky, orgasms.

    And if you need someone to be nice to you, come find me and Abby :)

  27. Also, I should mention that you’re now in my blogroll. Cause I think you’re that cool.

  28. people make me grumpy. wait! that is more hate! argh!

    but i do love baby giggles. and orgasms. and orgasms that lead to baby giggles nine months later.

  29. One of my most played tracks in iTunes is the 15 second clip of my 5 year old laughing. Always, anytime I need it, it’s there to lift me when I need it. If I could figure out how to make it a ring tone on my phone, I would.

    (My older daughter is a quiet laugh-er like her mother)

    I’ve long said that if I could bottle my daughter’s laugh and sell it, I’d be a millionaire. Infectious, joyous, smile-inducing.

    I have a difficult time with people who think they are entitled to spew every mean thought they have with the intention only of bringing someone down. It saddens me, and it seems so FREAKING COUNTERPRODUCTIVE to what most of us seek in life – to grasp on to the happy moments.

    Anyway – grab your happiness anyway you can. Whether it’s cake or gettin’ a little somethin’-somethin’ from the hubs. Don’t let the cynics get their oozy bad attitude on you :)

  30. Just wanted to tell you that I think you are amazing and awesome and brilliant. You are a light to so many, and people enslaved to darkness can’t stand those emanating light. So poo poo on them. Also, baby giggles and orgasms are the shiz. Love you for making them a part of this post.

  31. You’re awesome, Casey.

    Thanks for the fantastic quotes too!

  32. Now I feel like a complete nincompoop for sending you my unsolicited feedback. Next time you turn off comments, I’ll respect that. =)

  33. Hey, haters, you can bite it. You can even choose what “it” is! And just cancel out any sewage you are spewing towards my girl Casey, I love her (((((((((this much)))))))))).

  34. Casey,
    I am so very, very sorry to hear you’re being attacked. I just want to send very, very gentle hugs your way. Your posts always make me think, and it makes me sad to think people are attacking you. Wish I had a baby giggle around to enjoy but barring that (since stalking someone in the store would probably would be bad….;) I hope things are looking up soon. Take care.

  35. There’s always someone. I try to tell myself that they must be very small and unhappy people that get joy from being a hater. Yup, doesn’t work out very well for me. :)
    Of course I won’t yell anything while around you in case it causes Mozzi to starting doing flips.

  36. Thanks for keeping your chin up despite all the negativity, Casey!

  37. This is perfect, Casey. And funny to boot.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by April Northstrom and April Northstrom, Holly. Holly said: Good stuff. I don't hate it. RT @mooshinindy: new post! http://tinyurl.com/2cm3mp3 everybody hates everything!! [...]