moosh in indy.

November 10, 2010

This photo was taken in San Francisco over two years ago.

So much has changed since this moment.

Three and a half babies have been added, one has been taken away.

All of us have been hurt and damaged in so many different ways since that night, and when I think about just how much…

I’d rather not think about it.

Sure, we “know” each other on the Internet. We know that she lost a baby, she lost a child, she lost a pregnancy, she lost a best friend, she lost a sister, she lost a husband, he lost a wife, her dad may die any day and that she just received a diagnosis of cancer. For the most part we handle each other with kid gloves. But all these “shes” that live in your computer also have real lives. They are the frustrated mom at the mall, the grumpy lady in the checkout line at the grocery store, the impatient woman at the pediatricians office, the jerk that cuts you off in traffic.

It’s funny that we can see and accept the scars and the wounds of our virtual friends online but sometimes in real life we are unable to give the people around us the benefit of the doubt.

If five people in one picture who were practically strangers two years ago have had so much happen to them since the photo was taken?

It’s safe to say every single person out there is nursing some sort of wound. Be it fresh, freshly healed or a deep painful scar.

I wish we could all act in a way that nurtured the broken hearts around us instead of assuming that most hearts are cold and hard.

Please take better care of each other. We are all so much more alike than we are different.

Comments off.

I love you, lady. You’re a peach.

Exactly b/c you just never know. Always offer empathy for someone struggling… no matter what appearance it takes on.

-Abby

Beautifully said, Honey.

I love this. You are completely right…

Casey.

I’ll have proper words for this later.

For now.

YES YES YES.

and love you and your heart.

How right you are. Thanks for the reminder to be more mindful.

girl…that right there will preach!

love.

This is beautiful and so true.

Wonder how we could make this mandatory reading for everyone with internet access…

Casey Reply:
November 10th, 2010 at 10:47 pm

@helli haha narf, If I could have one wish tonight, that would be it.

It’s like we walk around on mute. Thanks for the reminder to turn up the volume a little. Everyone has a story. Everyone.

p.s. used/credited your Maggie/Ann photo on listentoyourmothershow.com today. THANK YOU OVER AND OVER!

Isn’t that the truth? I think it’s something that comes with age. We come to realize that even though we might have once thought that we were being singled out for some sort of horrible crime, everyone, in fact, has something hard. Varying degrees, of course, but something.

I try to remind myself that we can’t know what private battles people are fighting. It isn’t always easy to remember. Thank you for the reminder.

I just really really like you more and more all the time.

It’s the truth. So often, I start to get caught up in asking “why is that person such a jerk?” when I feel wronged or mistreated somehow. And I’ve been trying to practice reminding myself of the word “wounded.” We really are all so wounded and we live out of that sometimes. And then we need each other to heal so we just HAVE to be a little more understanding.

All that to say…”yeah, what you said.”

There is so much we don’t know even about the people we think we know so intimately. Compassion is nearly always the right path.

Lovely, Casey. Well needed reminder. xoxox

I need a like button.

There is such love and tenderness and kindness, here. Thank you. For reminding me that I have all of that in me to give, in all ways.

Blessings.

When I think of all I have lost since this picture was taken (friends, a baby, family) and all I’ve gained (a son, new friends) it makes my head spin. And to look at that picture and know of everyone elses losses and gains and it takes my breath away. We have all been thru so much. Everyone has.

Everyone has a story. Everyone hurts. Be kind. I couldn’t have said it as well as you did, Casey.

I love ya.

I love you. You have the sweetest soul.

So thankful you wrote this.

Thank you, Casey. You’re such a strong voice for so many, and the voice of reason when it’s needed.

*standing ovation*

As I said earlier, I so admire your ability to be calm & level-headed. You are such a loving, generous human being: I’m proud to “know” you. Thank you for helping me remember that everyone – friend or not, known or otherwise – is going through stuff, too. <3

Preach on, sister!

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Casey-moosh in indy., Sarah Mae, ParentDish, punkinmama, HeatheroftheEO and others. HeatheroftheEO said: RT @mooshinindy: new post. http://tinyurl.com/25gqab7 everyone is damaged. [...]

I just wrote a comment, but then I deleted it. On purpose.

I’ve had a super craptastic night tonight. This post is good. And needed. Unfortunately.

Amen!

Amen. Hallelujah. Amen.

Thank you for saying this. We all need to hear it.

So so true, every where I turn lately I’m finding people be more open and sharing with me and I find out “their story” and we are all hurting. And hurt people *hurt people* whether we mean to or not.

Love you,
Steph

Required reading. Can this please be printed on the front page (home page) of the New York Times. I needed to read this. Pretty sure the entire world needs to read it, too.
Thanks!!

Perfectly stated.

Lovely.

I don’t even know why I’m leaving a comment, because all I want to do is nod my head and say “yes.”

Well said.

You have done a good and wonderful thing here. I see your gorgeous smile in every word.

Perfectly said. Can’t really add anything else to that.

This seriously made me cry.

Such an awesome post, thank you for making us think!

Wow, just thinking about what you said about how much has changed in each of your lives since then, really spoke to me.

And the reminder to treat each other kindly is much needed in our world today. Thank you.

What a beautiful soul you have…. this is gorgeous. Just like you. Thank you for the reminder….

What a beautiful post, Casey. Thank you.

Thank you so much for this – this? Is beautiful.

Amen.

you have such a big, sweet heart

Love this.

Love.

Amen.

That is one thing we pray each day where I work – that we would see beyond the masks that people are wearing to the hurts beneath, and that we would be able to see as God sees, to hear as God hears and to love as God loves.

Everything in the post yes blah blah blah awesome etc….let me get to the important point:

I took that picture.

“Perhaps strength doesn’t reside in having never been broken…but in the courage required to grow strong in the broken places.”

Up at 3 am for craptastic reasons. This was a lovely thing to read.

Love the message here. Thanks.

Nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said. Lovely post. Bears repeating that when interacting with people onlinr, remember there is a real human being behind that username.

Wonderful post Casey! So very true.

Wow. You are so insightful, and always know how to put into words what I’ve been thinking about.

You rock!

YES.
If I was some sort of internet hacker (and the fact I just used the phrase “internet hacker” tells you that I’m totally not), this would be on every single person’s computer start up screen this morning.

You make an excellent point. It’s easy to focus on the forest and forget it’s made up of individual trees sometimes.

We are all so very precious.

Truer and more important words were never spoken.

This, young lady, is why I love you.

So wonderfully put. I think I needed this reminder today.

So true! And yet, so hard to remember, when that lady in line in front of you glares at your child, or that guy in the Beamer cuts you off in traffic… the list goes on. Thank you for reminding us, that we aren’t the only ones having a bad day!

It’s been 10 years since we lost our son. As horrible as that was, I’ve become a better person because I’ve carried this thought (that you have beautifully written) with me. Little Sam made me a better person.

I knew I liked you for a reason. Hope the mama is feeling better and healthy inside and out. Kisses.

While I belive in giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, some people are so hatefilled they just drain all the energy out of you. (Hey, secretary; I’m looking at you!) I truly believe in helping others and offering everyone a smile – but sometimes it’s makes me very weary.

Amen.

Also, SIGH.

Yes to this. A huge yes to this.

I try to remind myself of this very thing all the time. In as much as I silently plead with others to see me as the same flawed flesh and blood as them, I try to do the same.

It’s not easy, but it’s right.

Thanks, Casey.

Thank you Casey.

Felt seriously damaged yesterday. Sorta do today too. Kinda nice to not feel so alone in that.

This is so beautiful… We are so alike, and we should cherish this so more. Be kinder to each other. Not have fear of hurt speaking through us. Be open to others.

Thank you for bringing this thought to me today, especially on Remembrance day…

Just plainly BEAUTIFUL.

This gave me chills.

my beautiful, loving boxer dying and I can barely keep it together lately.

I think the woman working at the shoe store last night reads your blog. She treated my tear stained, could barely form a coherent sentence self with such kindness. It was the greatest thing anyone could have done for me at that moment.

thank you for writing this.

Wow. Just wow. I needed that reminder.

So true. Think of what a better place the world would be if we all treated everyone better!!

My Mom used to always remind me when I felt someone was treating me badly, that chances were high that person was treated badly by someone else. The only thing that can break the cycle is kindness.

You have such a good heart. Thank you.

This is perfect.

I like to think I was an empathetic person before I became a widow, but I know I am now. And it hit me all at once the first time someone told me, “You don’t look like you’re mourning. You are so much stronger than I am.” When, really? I was completely shattered inside. My point is, you can’t tell anything about a person by their appearance (or even their behavior sometimes). It doesn’t always work, but I try to be mindful of the fact that you don’t know the other person’s life.

There is a lot of irony in this post that compares to my life.

When my best friend was abducted, killed, and found dumped in the Mississippi River a month later, my virtual friends were like “OMG let me do anything and everything possible for you.” While my real life friends were like, “oh get over it…he must have just fallen in” I was like WTF!

Ugh….

You said it. I’ll heed it.

A perfect reminder.

Great post. I have a tendency to approach people in real life cautiously while online I am much more understanding. I will have to remember this. Thanks.

Excellent reminder.

Here via ChibiJeebs, today.

This was a perfect post for me to read today. Thank you for the reminder!

This is a wonderful sentiment, and something to aspire to. That said, it’s unfortunately unrealistic. First, because if this were the way the world worked, there’d be no need to extend empathy to the people who piss you off during the day because they would be extending you empathy as well and not doing things like cut you off in traffic.

I think it might be a little easier just to remember that most of what other people do isn’t about you; it’s about them. So let it go.

I don’t want you to think I disagree, because I don’t disagree with your point. I just think the suggested application is a bit lofty. We can’t all take active care of everyone we come in contact with. Try to be understanding and not take offense to their behavior, yes, but we all have limited time and resources and friends of our own to share those things with.

Beautifully said. Now can you write one for all the people on the Internet who think it’s ok to trash other people? There’s no hope for the trolls…but I wish the anonymity of the net didn’t make it so easy for people to say hurtful things.

Or maybe I should just learn to let it go…healthier, I guess.

Love, love, LOVE this post. So true!

I just happened to read this and one other post today that reminded me why I believe we should all try to be better to each other every day. Thanks for writing it.

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