Over the last year I had become so laid back with this getting pregnant business that I barely even bothered to keep track of my periods. (look away daddy!) Besides, I have an app on my iPod that does it for me. It even has an icon of flaming boobs for those few days of fire before your period comes. Boobs set on fire, period comes three days later. Easy right?
Well towards the end of August my chest had been set aflame but I didn’t bother to tap it into my app right away for whatever reason. When I finally got around to entering my teats of flame and fury into the program I noticed my period was supposed to have started three days earlier.
2005-2009 Casey would have lost her mind and already peed on seventeen pee sticks had she even been seven minutes late on her period.
2010 Casey’s first thought was “Oh crap. My endo and PCOS are totally back because my period is being all wonky again.”
The next morning I hemmed and hawed over peeing on a stick. I hadn’t peed on one in a really, really long time and I wasn’t sure I was up for the disappointment, however, I knew if I peed on the stick my period would start exactly four minutes later.
Murphy’s Infertility Law.
So I peed. I haven’t even bothered with the whole bravado of hiding the stick with the wrapper or a tissue, counting down the requisite 180 seconds and then doing a big TA DA! reveal of the answer in years. Nope. I just sit there and stare at it. In my nine years of marriage I’ve only passed one pregnancy test, I’ve failed hundreds. So my expectations?
So I sat there. Staring at the stick. Yep. There was that first “control” line. Boring! Like I haven’t seen this one before. Then all of a sudden something else appeared. A SECOND LINE. What the! NO! I DON’T MAKE SECOND LINES APPEAR! I AM THE ANTI-SECOND LINE! It wasn’t a very dark second line, but there was totally a line there. I think.
I checked it in different lighting.
I then scanned it in and emailed it to Emily.
Emily furiously googled and then Emily confirmed, yep. I MADE A SECOND LINE APPEAR!
There was only one thing to do after that, buy more pregnancy tests.
I went with the dollar store version first. However I made the mistake of running out to the dollar store in such a hurry I forgot to comb my hair, wear a wedding ring or show any form of self care whatsoever. So when the old man behind the checkout counter asked the jittery disheveled lady buying eight pregnancy tests at eight a.m. if she was okay, I shouldn’t have been surprised.
SUCCESS! I OWNED THOSE DOLLAR STORE TESTS!
Then it was time to google due dates and how far along was I and ZOMG CHINESE CALENDARS!!1!
Oh, where’s Cody during all of this? At work.
I of course had Full House type fantasies in my head of making him a meal of baby carrots, baby corn, baby back ribs and Baby Ruth for dessert but that all kind of flew out the window when I discovered that for the second time in my entire existence I had the power to make multiple lines appear as if from nowhere with my pee.
I found out I was pregnant with Addie using one of those digital tests. Truth be told when you’re dealing with one pink line and one I think it’s there but I’m not quite sure let me scan this in and send it to my best friend lines? Digital tests are worth every penny.
Moment of truth. I bought a digital test (okay 3) and went to Cody’s office where I secretly peed on one before he knew I was there.
I MADE IT SAY PREGNANT! THOSE SUCKERS CAN’T LIE! PWNED!
I walked down the hall to Cody’s office and instead of doing some grand gesture of celebration and togetherness, I threw the stick at him across his desk. I ooze romance and surprise.
His reaction will be up for debate for the next hundred years, next time you’re at our house for dinner we’d love to tell you the story.
But he knew right away what it was and what it meant.
I haven’t barfed for a while. In fact I haven’t taken a Zofran in over 36 hours. Doing this with Addie would have put me in the hospital. This time? I should have thought…18 weeks! I’m better! The morning sickness has passed! NORMAL PREGNANCY FOR ME!!! However my thoughts went more like, 18 weeks, I’m not even the slightest bit sick. Something is wrong. I miscarried. Mozzi is gone. How am I going to tell Addie? On and on worst case scenarios until 2 am when I finally passed out from exhaustion.
I called my doctor first thing this morning (I’m insured WHEE!!!) and they got me in right away.
I wish I would have timed how long it took for the nurse to find the heartbeat because it felt like an eternity when in reality it was probably only 22 seconds.
Mozzi was there. Lower left quadrant beating away at 152 BPM.
I cried. (Then silently scolded Mozzi for scaring me again.)
I knew when I got pregnant that this was going to end in one of two ways. No baby or baby.
And for the moment all signs point to baby.