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pregnancy and poop. a tragedy.
February 7, 2011

Pregnancy and poop.

A loathsome relationship for most any gestating female.

One that no one really wants to talk about.

You either miss it or wish it would stop.

Very rarely is there a middle ground.

I am one of those who misses it, dearly.

There have been occasions where it has come…and I have cried.

Pregnancy, Zofran and iron pills are the trifecta of the anti-poop in my world.

Then again I want to be pregnant, I don’t want to barf and anemia I do not love.

*sigh*

But there is one tiny, fuzzy oval shaped lining in all this…awkwardness.

The kiwi.

my love for the kiwi is boundless.

The kiwi has the ability to make a rough day go a little smoother, without the side effects of gurgle gut, the sweats and your mouth watering (I’m looking at you chemical laxatives.)

Without troubling you too much further with this poop talk…I will end with this.

God bless the Kiwi and the tree it rode in on.

Related posts:

  1. Depression? Pregnancy? You know, because they’re so similar.
  2. a pregnancy acceptance speech of sorts.
  3. Poop, Pastrami and John Mayer.
  4. Links of poo.
  5. I am the pregnancy rule.

Comments off.

By Domestic Extraordinaire on 02.07.11 2:55 pm | Permalink

I love kiwis-had no idea of this additional benefit, although aside from when I am pregnant this has never been an issue.

Also, how do you get the cute heart shaped insides kiwi. I had one with lunch and it was not cute like that.

Although I ate it fast, I may just have to have another to investigate this heart phenomenon.

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 3:01 pm

@Domestic Extraordinaire, photoshop. the kiwi *kind of* had a heart shape to it, I just helped it along.
are you disappointed in me?
(still! eat more kiwi!)

Domestic Extraordinaire Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 3:12 pm

@Casey, You totally used the powers of photoshop for good so how can I be disappointed in you?

Colleen Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 5:25 pm

@Casey, That photoshop… it’s totally full of magic isn’t it?

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:03 pm

@Colleen, I never use photoshop. Ever. Nope. Not me. Just for fruit. Yep. Juuuuust fruit.

Colleen Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 9:31 pm

@Casey, There is no photoshop here. I’m afraid of the time I might spend playing if I coughed up that cash.

By mrs.notouching on 02.07.11 2:58 pm | Permalink

New Zealand should make this their national poem. Amen.

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 3:02 pm

@mrs.notouching, Amen to the amen.

By Aimee Greeblemonkey on 02.07.11 3:15 pm | Permalink

Word.

By ClassyFabSarah on 02.07.11 3:15 pm | Permalink

Please forgive me in advance for the @ssvice, seeing as I’m not pregnant nor have I ever been pregnant.

But I am somewhat of a poop expert. The poop whisperer.

Here goes. Have you ever tried Metamucil? I can make it into a ****tail of deliciousness so you never even know you’re drinking it. I highly recommend the sugar free versions and I like the pink lemonade flavor. I mix up a bit with water and then mix the whole thing with a bit of sprite. Definitely fixes the texture ick.

But seriously, it’s a little bit magical.

And now I need to stock up on kiwis. Good to know.

Tina Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 4:25 pm

@ClassyFabSarah,

the poop whisperer…..funniest thing I’ve heard all day. LOVE it.

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:04 pm

@ClassyFabSarah, I have to be careful with the drinkable stuff because if I drink too much at the wrong time it all comes back out the wrong way.
Pregnancy tummy, not my strong suit.

By Bree on 02.07.11 3:17 pm | Permalink

Seriously I HATED that part of pregnancy.

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:05 pm

@Bree, What’s funny is it’s the memory that seemed to stick with me the most, the horror never faded with time.

Bree Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:09 pm

@Casey,
What I remember MOST is the “ahem” second birth. You know what I’m talking about. OUCH.

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:30 pm

@Bree, Yeah. I had drugs. Really good ones. I remember seeing it, which PLEASE NO THANK YOU EVER AGAIN.

By AnnD on 02.07.11 3:24 pm | Permalink

I hear you! I had horrible constipation with both of my pregnancies. I ate a lot of prunes and that seemed to do the trick, and they are actually really good! Really sweet!

Also, have you ever tried one of those Fiber One bars?

My God. I’m runnin’ for the bathroom before I even finish the thing!

Krystle Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 3:56 pm

@AnnD, OMG the Fiber One bars. THE FIBER ONE BARS!

*WARNING* DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT eat more than one of those puppies per day.

You think you regret the one you have per day? Try two.

Wait, don’t. Miserable w/ a capital M.

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:06 pm

@AnnD, Costco. Fiber One bars, they were on sale.
I have one every morning at 4 am.

By EmJ* on 02.07.11 3:39 pm | Permalink

I had no idea. This is definitely a battle I am fighting and I am pretty sure I am not winning. I need to go buy some kiwi ASAP!

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:07 pm

@EmJ*, There’s also votes for Fiber One bars (which totally work as well and are in fact TASTY!) and the powder stuff, but I do not love that stuff.

By Krystle on 02.07.11 3:54 pm | Permalink

Love it… you’re so cute!

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:29 pm

@Krystle, Ahh, glad to know the poop talk hasn’t diminished me in your eyes. :)

By Holly on 02.07.11 4:09 pm | Permalink

I can second the Fiber One bar advice. Those things have an effect the tv commercials don’t mention. If you’re constipated, it’s worth a shot.

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:31 pm

@Holly, Which is the real reason they came out with the smaller 90 calorie bars.

Calories my butt…

By Amy in StL on 02.07.11 4:31 pm | Permalink

When I was in South Carolina, I saw a Kiwi farm. They grow kind of on a trellised vine. I was amazed that we can grow them in this country and swore if I ever had a sunroom with enough height, I was going to try growing one. I had an avocado seed grow into a big enough plant one time to get a bloom!

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:31 pm

@Amy in StL, My current Kiwis are from California!

By Brooke on 02.07.11 4:41 pm | Permalink

:knocks on table: So far, at 25 weeks, all is well on the poop front.

Heartburn from simply gulping in heaps of air? Now that’s another story.

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:32 pm

@Brooke, Ah, see. Rarely if ever do I get heartburn (maybe twice?) :knocks on wood as well:
(truth be told I’d take the poop over the heartburn. sorry.)

By Windy on 02.07.11 4:42 pm | Permalink

Nothing a good enema, (followed by a worthy toilet plunger for your poor toilet), won’t fix I say!

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:32 pm

@Windy, Yeeeaaahhhh…I’m not there yet. I just acquainted myself with the Neti.

Windy Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 11:40 pm

@Casey, TMI? hahahaha! All I know is Zofran is both heaven and hell all in one tiny, exspensive little white pill. What’s a Neti?

Casey Reply:
February 9th, 2011 at 1:36 pm

@Windy, Neti Pot, an enema for your sinuses. It’s pretty fantastic.

By Must Be Motherhood on 02.07.11 4:44 pm | Permalink

Oh, I feel yer pain. I’m stopped up in general and worse while pregnant. (I’m a dried apricot gal + KashiGoLean cereal for help in that department.)

I was using Metamucil during my first preganancy but didn’t use it all–and found it in the cabinet while making brownies one day. Thought, hey! we can all use extra fiber in our desserts, right? Didn’t remember to tell my spouse, who thought he’d been POISONED the next morning. Let’s just say his system is a little more delicate than mine b/c it barely affected me at all. Ha! I tricked him with Poop Brownies!
Still cracks me up to this day.

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:33 pm

@Must Be Motherhood, Dude, it would do the same thing to Cody. Which is why I’ve never done it.

By mary on 02.07.11 5:10 pm | Permalink

don’t know if works for pregnancy but with my son a day of many strawberries and watermelon usually moved things a long

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:33 pm

@mary, I’ll bet it would, but strawberries and watermelon are hard to come by in the dead of winter in Indiana…c’mon SUMMER!

By Colleen on 02.07.11 5:27 pm | Permalink

I wonder if it would help our household situation if I started feeding Ana kiwis on a daily basis. Hmm. (She’s actually quite enjoying the Sunsweet individually wrapped prunes though… and those are also capable of magic.)

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:34 pm

@Colleen, Kiwis are a girls best friend.

By Jenny on 02.07.11 5:49 pm | Permalink

I have the opposite problem while I am pregnant. I wish there was a middle ground. *Sigh*

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:34 pm

@Jenny, So weird how some people are opposite. CONSISTENCY PREGNANCY, CONSISTENCY.

By Christina on 02.07.11 6:37 pm | Permalink

Ah, the magical kiwi fruit. Such power it wields.

The clear, tasteless fiber powder additives can help, too. Especially if the nausea makes eating other fiber (like the Fiber One bars) hard to do.

Hope this stage of pregnancy “passes” soon. (I’m groaning at my own poor excuse for a joke.)

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:35 pm

@Christina, Clear and tasteless with my super sniffer is a total lie. The filtered water out of my fridge smells.
The Fiber One bars are my 4 am go to. Yes. I have a 4 am go to snack.

By Mrs. Wilson on 02.07.11 8:01 pm | Permalink

Hooray for kiwi and it’s, erm, poop-inducing abilities!

I’ve been having the opposite problem. 32 weeks of diarrhea, FTW!

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:36 pm

@Mrs. Wilson, I take your FTW and downgrade it to a BOO.

Because seriously.

Mrs. Wilson Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:41 pm

@Casey, At least there’s an end in sight, right? That’s what I keep telling myself.

Casey Reply:
February 9th, 2011 at 1:37 pm

@Mrs. Wilson, bingo.

By Sarah on 02.07.11 8:08 pm | Permalink

Oh….ooooh…yuck. I remember those days. I don’t miss them at all. Good luck to you!!

(P.S. Photoshop use is totally forgiven in this case…I LOVE that picture!)

Casey Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 8:37 pm

@Sarah, I’m just digitally projecting my love upon a sweet little fruit.

By Jen L. on 02.07.11 10:57 pm | Permalink

UGH, I remember that part now. Mine was bad during pregnancy, but downright EVIL during those pesky postpartum days. Wish I’d had your knowledge of the kiwi. Here’s hoping things are moving along for you soon. (Couldn’t resist. Love you, love your photoshop.)

Casey Reply:
February 9th, 2011 at 1:37 pm

@Jen L., Dude, while still in the hospital I warned Cody “if I’m not out in an hour? I’m probably dead.”

By designhermomma on 02.07.11 11:04 pm | Permalink

mt. dew is my kiwi. So is steak n shake.

But it always comes with a side of gurgle gut.

Casey Reply:
February 9th, 2011 at 1:38 pm

@designhermomma, After my FiberOne mistake yesterday…gurgle gut is something I can live without forever.

By Elizabeth Kaylene on 02.08.11 12:49 am | Permalink

An alternative to coffee or Miralax (or both, sometimes)! Thank you, Casey! My GI system thanks you!

Casey Reply:
February 9th, 2011 at 1:38 pm

@Elizabeth Kaylene, A here here to the Fiber One bar as well (one at a time though, FOR REAL.)

Elizabeth Kaylene Reply:
February 10th, 2011 at 7:14 pm

@Casey, DULY NOTED.

Also, for some reason, tea seems to be helping, too.

By Melissa on 02.08.11 4:01 am | Permalink

Take extra magnesium supplements… it will help unclog the pipes naturally. I took a Cal/Mag/D supplement while pregnant and felt fantastic!

Casey Reply:
February 9th, 2011 at 1:41 pm

@Melissa, Will be trying…furiously scribbling on grocery list…

By Kari on 02.08.11 9:41 am | Permalink

Maybe this would help?
http://holycrap.ca/

(I am tempted to order some just so that I can put it on the table the next time I have company!)

Casey Reply:
February 9th, 2011 at 1:39 pm

@Kari, I’m shaking my head at Canada. Which is rare.

Kari Reply:
February 9th, 2011 at 1:49 pm

@Casey,
Ahh! But did you laugh?
Hoping the rest of the pregnancy goes well!

By Katie on 02.08.11 1:25 pm | Permalink

mc donalds and starbucks are my kiwi.

works every time.

Casey Reply:
February 9th, 2011 at 1:39 pm

@Katie, *ehem* I’ll stick with my little kiwi.

By lili on 02.10.11 2:14 am | Permalink

Hi,
I am sure you know this :) , but just in case:
plums fresh and dried, and flax seeds are definitely worth trying.

By Lisa on 02.10.11 3:42 pm | Permalink

If the nausea will let you try Floradix from your local health food store. Kill the anemia and constipation with 1 capfull/day. My blood clotting issues that affect AF, anemia, and chronic constipation are not a problem when I’m religous with my morning 20ml’s.

By Ashlee on 02.17.11 2:38 am | Permalink

I totally know what you mean! i’m only in my first trimester and I’m already DREAMING about being able to poop!!!

By Erin on 02.17.11 12:01 pm | Permalink

I feel your pain with the pooping. Or lack thereof. This may be a case of TMI but my mom has always called pears “Nature’s bottle brush”. Hopefully the kiwi & pears can help keep you going. Be well. I think of you often.

By moosh in indy. » homestretch. on 02.25.11 8:00 pm | Permalink

[...] There’s the poop. [...]

By moosh in indy. » the one about the illusion of perfection and why it doesn’t do anybody any good. on 03.07.11 1:25 am | Permalink

[...] That “flawless” girl you admire? She gets ingrown armpit hairs and sinus infections too. Those girls in the latest Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition? You know at least one of them had to do a shoot on her period. Hollywood starlets get stinky gas and pap smears too. Hunky leading men get back zits and ear hair. And even more comforting? Taro Gomi was right when he said everyone poops. (Unless they’re me, then they just eat kiwis.) [...]

By MommyNamedApril on 03.13.11 9:33 pm | Permalink

uhg. with my last pregnancy i wouldn’t poop at ALL for a week and then i’d spend two days while my body absolutely cleared it ALL out. then we would start again. awful and painful.

i have found though, that the GAP drink works really well – equal parts grape juice, apple juice and prune juice served hot, like tea. it’s tasty and really does help get things moving. drink several glasses a day :-)

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