I’d hate to speak for all married people, but given we’ve been doing this for almost a decade and neither of us have smothered each other with pillows in our sleep or ended up on an episode of Dr. Phil or Maury Povich, I dare say I’m somewhat qualified to hand down the following advice to you.
Your fights with your darling doodle lover bug are going to follow yearly themes. Some themes will carry over from year to year, others will end after a year only to reappear several years later.
Your first theme will probably revolve around sex, money or responsibilities. Such as “IT’S YOUR DAMN RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE YOUR DAMN SOCKS OUT OF THE DAMN LIVING ROOM AND PUT THEM IN THE DAMN HAMPER.”
This fight will most likely follow you forever. Sometimes there will be twists thrown in such as socks shoved under the couch or piled into a heap at the bottom of the stairs…but let me tell you now, there will always ALWAYS be socks. Literally or figuratively. Give up while you’re ahead sister.
Money fights blow. Hard.
Sex fights, well, there’s a blow joke in here somewhere but I’m to afraid to commit to it.
When and if you have a child there will be a new fight. The “who’s life is more important” fight. I hate this one. Yes, I KNOW your job is not all fun and games and in our situation you make the money and I’m grateful for that but I’m the one at home that doesn’t get to pee by myself or eat a meal in peace or have grown up conversations or OH MY GOSH WHERE DID MY PERSONAL SPACE GOOOO???
Above is Cody’s and my 2006-2008 themed fight. There are so many variations on this one your head may very well explode.
The last year and a half have been pretty fight free. I’ve accepted the socks, we’ve accepted our roles in our family and we’ve had the money fight so many times beating a dead horse is an understatement. (It basically comes down to this one, if you (meaning me) don’t spend it, you don’t fight about it. As much.)
Generally speaking we are a very happy married couple. If anyone loses their mind it’s generally me and it’s generally because there’s something else going on (depression, booo or pregnancy crazies, yay!) However tonight I learned that even the most solid couple cannot survive one particular life event unscathed, no matter how good their communication skills are.
Assembling IKEA furniture as a couple is the leading cause of men sleeping on couches and women throwing power tools.
IKEA blinds you to these inevitable facts with ligonberries, meatballs and cramped allen wrench wielding fingers.
You’ve been warned.
Mozzi may have a dresser now but she almost lost her parents in the process.