That is the circumference of my waist this evening.
4 weeks from my due date with my second baby.
I used to live my life in 28 day increments.
I am 28 years old. My birthday is on the 28th of April.
This year was my golden birthday.
I said it was going to be good and good it was.
There is even a chance it will end with me having my long awaited baby on the last day of my golden year.
(But I’d really rather that not happen, no offense, I really don’t want to share.)
I have been craving watermelon and Mexican food.
I have spent the last week nesting. And not just “kind of” nesting. But serious down to business there may be chapter about this being a problem type nesting in the back of some pregnancy book nesting. It happened with Addie too. Two weeks ago I was happy to be somewhere soft and horizontal and at 4 am Monday morning suddenly EVERYTHING needed to be done RIGHT NOW.
My very existence has been overtaken with parallel vacuum lines and perfectly dusted baseboards.
I had an astronomical to do list tapped out on my iPod on Monday morning. I checked off the final thing last night.
Pack a bag for the hospital.
Because I’m going to be having a baby. Any day now really.
I am so happy. So excited.
But there is still this lump. This phantom pain in the back of my heart.
While it seems as though everyone drank from the same fountain of fertility and found themselves pregnant, I know this isn’t true. I know because there are women left without their babies. Babies they are waiting for. Longing for. Desperate for. I know many of them are staying quiet, back in the shadows because their pain is all to real, and very much at the forefront of their mind.
They’re living their own 28 day trial right now, be it pregnancy tests, adoption papers, medical exams or results.
Every time Mozzi moves I drop what I’m doing and place my hand on my swollen belly. She’s in there and she’s mine.
My little miracle.
My daughter. (Well, okay, confession, I’m still convinced it’s a boy.)
28 days isn’t nearly enough time to appreciate how far I’ve come and how blessed I am.
But I guess that’s what eternity is for.
Taken at 28 weeks. When I was still kind of nimble and could get off the couch without mooing.