Vivienne made a very dramatic entrance into this world, apparently it wasn’t in her plans to be four days late and she made sure we all knew that she was not happy with the delay.

one week

Vivi has had to return to the hospital every day this week for one test or another.

Today’s being an x-ray.

There’s something about your baby’s tiny body being held down by a stranger on a giant cold table while you watch from behind a leaded wall. And that something is not wonderful.

She has four doctors appointments with three different doctors in the next week, one of them a specialist whose office is almost an hour away from my house.

Something is wrong with her but no one knows quite what it is yet. Pardon me for not going into details, I’m very tender on the topic at the moment.

playing on daddy.

This wasn’t how I pictured things. It’s very exhausting. It’s kind of scary. It’s also very hard because I can’t fix it.

My milk production still hasn’t kicked in, I have a very dedicated doctor and lactation consultant and together we’re doing everything possible to make it work. Even Vivi’s doctor said most women quit by now, especially under these circumstances, and that I am making a heroic effort with everything I’m doing to make breastfeeding possible.

That made me feel better.

But spending half your day in doctor’s offices and hospitals is not relaxing and makes this whole milk making business tricky.

But I’ll keep going.

Because she’s so very worth it.

one week

Comments

  1. love you, friend.
    Massive prayers and love from my heart to you and yours and precious Vivi

  2. I spent the first year of my now 5yr old’s life going back and forth to the children’s hospital (2-3hrs away) trying to figure out what was going on with him. But as hard as that was, I had the first month as “normal” before the scary began.. I’m sorry you’re going thru this!! She is precious and hopefully the drs figure out what’s going on with her. ((Hugs))

  3. Hugs and prayers to you all…I hope it turns out to be nothing, or easily fixable. Doctors are wrong all the time. ;)

    If it does have anything to do with the jaundice, please please please make sure they check her for Biliary Atresia — the earlier BA is diagnosed the better chance it can be cured.

  4. Adding to a long and wonderful list of people praying for you and Vivi. If cookies and peonies would help in the least? I’m ON it.

  5. Cinthia says:

    I hope everything turns out ok… prayers and blessings!

  6. sending up so many prayers for you & your family. hang in there gal!!

  7. Lots of love and strength your way. She’s gorgeous, you’re awesome and you’re all so loved.

  8. Love and prayers for Vivi and all of you.

  9. prayers. and lots of them.

    but I am sure you already know that.

    she looks absolutely perfect to me, if that means anything.

  10. She is beautiful. I’ve been at Riley Hospital myself and know others who see docs there, if you need a good specialist, there likely is one there. Prayers for all.

  11. OH Casey, she is just beautiful!

    I hope everyting gets figured out for sweet Vivi soon. SO sorry you feel a little helpless right now. Thinking of you all the time!

  12. Just saw this post now – I am hoping everything is OK – she is so, so beautiful. xoxo

  13. I hoping from your next post, that things are better, but in looking at her, Casey, she’s just perfect. And I know you and Cody and Addie have it in you to love her through anything anyhow. <3

  14. I’d offer to pray, but you and I both know that’s futile at this stage. I’ll have a good thought for you and your littlest girl.

    Please keep us informed.

  15. I’m a Riley mama. My daughter is a heart baby– multiple holes, open heart surgery at 4 months. 3 other surgeries within the first two years for other birth defects. She’s beautiful and perfect and good as new now, but I know what its like spending the first months of your little one’s life in a children’s hospital– sanity wrecking. And its very heart to BF through it. I only lasted 9 weeks.

    If its heart-related, I’ve been there and am happy to share what I know and where we’ve been. Your baby is seriously gorgeous. And usually newborns are not, even though people will say they are. Vivi is really something special, mama. Sending light to you and your family.

  16. Prayers for you all, especially sweet Vivi.

  17. Thinking of you and your daughter.

  18. IndyY'all says:

    So sorry to hear of all the speed bumps. I work at Riley if there’s anything I can do to help.

  19. She is so precious. Sending you much love and hugs and good wishes that everything will be ok.

  20. Isto é, muito possivelmente, a mais bela mensagem que você já escreveu. Eu amei cada palavra. Tendo acabado de retornar de minhas férias na Italia primeiro bonita, eu posso apreciar mais do que nunca a beleza de uma vida simples vivida na quietude de inspiração. in brasil

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  1. [...] week and a half ago I wrote about something being wrong with Vivi and so many of you came out to support us through the scary unknown that is a sick baby. I just [...]