Vivienne made a very dramatic entrance into this world, apparently it wasn’t in her plans to be four days late and she made sure we all knew that she was not happy with the delay.
Vivi has had to return to the hospital every day this week for one test or another.
Today’s being an x-ray.
There’s something about your baby’s tiny body being held down by a stranger on a giant cold table while you watch from behind a leaded wall. And that something is not wonderful.
She has four doctors appointments with three different doctors in the next week, one of them a specialist whose office is almost an hour away from my house.
Something is wrong with her but no one knows quite what it is yet. Pardon me for not going into details, I’m very tender on the topic at the moment.
This wasn’t how I pictured things. It’s very exhausting. It’s kind of scary. It’s also very hard because I can’t fix it.
My milk production still hasn’t kicked in, I have a very dedicated doctor and lactation consultant and together we’re doing everything possible to make it work. Even Vivi’s doctor said most women quit by now, especially under these circumstances, and that I am making a heroic effort with everything I’m doing to make breastfeeding possible.
That made me feel better.
But spending half your day in doctor’s offices and hospitals is not relaxing and makes this whole milk making business tricky.
But I’ll keep going.
Because she’s so very worth it.