mother’s day milk.

I have never seen a pig at the fair asking the other pigs where she might get some cabbage leaves for her bra.

hungry pigs.

I actually had my bra done up and my shirt down today and Addie asked “Where you going all dressed mom?” Alternately, I was asked by the same little girl, “Mom, when ARE you going to put those away?

Breastfeeding is touted as the “BEST THING FOR BABY!” While I’m not going to argue with that, I feel it very important that we as nursing mothers move to have an italicized byline that reads “makes moms temporarily crazy!” Everytime she hops on I can feel a little bit of my brain seeping out by way of my areolas. Maybe it’s just me (and Vivi) that have been brought to tears of frustration, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let these enormous lady lumps fail me.

Why breastfeeding is such a challenge will be brought up with God some day, right along with “why do boys get to pee standing up?”

miss vivi's bow.

Do you have any idea how wonderful this little head smells? My uterus literally contracts at the scent. In fact I took so many Vivi head hits today that I began singing Sublime songs to her.

Her first words will very likely be “YOU’RE SOOO PREEETTTYYY!!

Happy Mother’s Day y’all. I know mine is complete. (And that a majority of it will be spent completely topless. GO TEAM BOOBS!)

a guest post on motherhood from my mom idol.

The beautiful and talented Casey has asked me to write a guest post while she is hopefully resting after pushing a small human out of a very tiny area.  (The fact that someone would call 10 small centimeters “fully” dilated just astounds me.  But that’s a topic for another day.)  Casey asked me to discuss something I’ve taught my children that I hope they never forget.  Nothing promotes such thoughts of maternal legacy (and ice chips) like a person in labor.

This has actually been something I have been thinking about lately.  What exactly have I imparted to my children?  This past year I have taught my children at home.  Yes, you read that correctly, I’m a homeschooling mom.  Now at this very moment, many of you are questioning my sanity and mentally picturing me wearing a denim jumper surrounded by a herd of socially inept children.  For the record let me state that my level of sanity is decent (today was a good day), I don’t own any kind of jumper (let alone a denim one), and I ‘only’ have three very social children (which occasionally feels like three too many.)

This past year I have taught my three year old how to write her name.  I’ve taught my son how to do long division and my middle child how to multiply.  Together, they’ve learned where Australia, Africa, and Antarctica are on a map.  They know the capital of China and that haikus came from Japan.  We have discussed the differences and similarities between Buddhism, Islam, and Hinduism.  We have studied the lives of influential leaders like Nelson Mandela and Gandhi.  We have underlined prepositional phrases and circled adjectives.  There have been science experiments and art projects.  We’ve read books, had piano lessons, and taken swimming classes.

And I hope they remember it all.  Every last bit of it.  Especially if they are ever on Jeopardy!  I’d love to hear one of my offspring say in a charming, well adjusted voice, “You know, Alex, I owe my 52 day win and cash prizes of more than $1.6 million to my beautiful mother.  She taught me everything I know.  So now, I’m going to buy her a beachfront condo.”  Because that?  Would be AWESOME.

But.  If I had to, I could narrow it down to two things I hope my children never forget.  Two things that I hope I have taught them to do.   The first one is:  You help the people you love when they need it.  You help them when it isn’t convenient, when it isn’t easy, when it isn’t fun.  You help them, even if part of you would rather be doing something else.  You help them grieve or you help them celebrate.  You wipe their tears or clean their bathroom.  Because loving people means serving them.

The second thing I hope my children remember is this:  Sometimes you have to say no.  Sometimes you have to put yourself first and say ‘I can’t help you today.’  There are times you need to unplug the phone, clear your schedule and take care of you.  When you truly need to do that, it isn’t selfish and it isn’t something you should feel guilty about doing.  It is loving yourself.  And that is as important as loving others.

If my children can remember these two things, I will feel like a success.   Even better?  They will have become a success.

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Ami can be found at her fresh shiny new blog here. The one I forced her to start, also known as the one she’s so happy she started. She’s going to buy a farm near us and raise pigs, I adore her. She is also in the midst of losing her daddy to cancer. She’s a jewel. I hope you like her as much as I do.

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This post is also part of Tiny Prints Mother’s Day Campaign All Tiny Prints Mother’s day cards (and Father’s day cards) are completely customizable and can be sent straight to your mama or papa. Cards can even be scheduled ahead of time, while it’s probably too late for Mother’s Day, Father’s Day is just around the corner. I was compensated for my participation in this campaign and am very much sharing with Ami. Opinions and statements are our own.

meet vivienne, the baby formerly known as mozzi.

Meet Miss Vivi.

miss vivi.

Born May 4, 2011 at 8:18 am in 3 pushes. 7 lbs. 13 oz. 20.25″

Curly haired, chubby and perfection in a baby.

Vivienne means “alive” or “lively.” Her middle name is Jean, just like Aunt Cheryl.

miss vivi yawns.

We’re working on getting to know each other, but I can already assure you we’re going to get along just fine.

I’m not sure any other baby has come into the world to this much love.

Thank you everyone.

xo. Cody, Casey, Addie and Vivi.

spoiler alert. there will be a baby.

plaque by @lisaleonard

We’re leaving for the hospital. 12:56 am EST May 4, 2011.

xoxo

eleven months pregnant.

Today Katy Perry asked me if I felt paper thin, like a house of cards, one blow from caving in.

Thanks for asking Katy, but no, I feel the complete antithesis of paper thin.

Round, robust, thick and sturdy are a few adjectives that come to mind.

We walked around the mall yesterday and I shocked myself every time I realized the reflection of that comically large pregnant woman was in fact, me.

Today is my “official” due date, and while I’m still on the outs with the word “due” I feel it’s better than using the word “expire” or “lapse.”

However I have decided that every day that passes by after today will be considered a month. Tomorrow? I’ll be 11 months pregnant. If I do go two weeks past? Say hello to Casey, 24 months pregnant.

I’m very happy that I make such a hospitable environment for babies, my only fear is the “I” word. Induction. It was brought up at my last appointment. As soon as he started into the “I” discussion I began to move my head back and forth in a very adamant “no” wondering when he’d figure out that my fervent head shaking meant “NO INDUCTION!” not “check out how bouncy my hair is with this new shampoo I’ve been using!

Ah yes, then there’s all of the advice.

  • Chew fresh basil! (ew.)
  • Cold plain yogurt! (where?)
  • Hot baths! (nightly! but, still pregnant.)
  • Mini trampoline! (I have a balance ball! Bounce bounce bounce everyday. See also: still pregnant!)
  • SEX! (PFFT.)
  • Spicy food! (It hurts going in, staying in and coming out, no thank you.)
  • Eggplant! (Delicious! But, still pregnant.)
  • Red raspberry leaf tea! (Tastes like artichokes! Still pregnant.)
  • Chiropractor! (Love mine, however, still pregnant.)
  • Castor oil! (Sweet love almighty no.)
  • Evening primrose! (I’m still not sure where people are telling me to stick them.)
  • Cold stone cupcakes! (MMM! Still pregnant!)
  • Pedicures! (Every two weeks! STILL PREGNANT!)
  • Acupuncture! (So I’m trying this one this week.)
  • Acupressure! (See: If acupuncture doesn’t work.)
  • LUSH sex bomb! (I smelled good! Pregnant!)
  • Walk! (SO. MUCH. PREGNANT. WALKING.)
  • Pennyroyal! (Googled=TOXIC!)

All of this silliness has simply led me to realize that this kid will make its appearance when it’s darn good and ready.

But there’s still this anticipation and uncertainty which is both wonderful and stifling all at once. Let’s go see a movie tomorrow! You know, assuming I don’t birth a human. What’s for dinner? Bean soup! You know, unless I can’t make it because I’m birthing a human. What are you doing next Thursday? No idea! But I could be birthing a human!

Cody acknowledged today the whole surprise element is probably killing my spirit unicorns slowly. I just don’t do surprises well! At all! And this! ALL SURPRISE! But I am still happy. Still enjoying my daily kiwi, naps and baths. And like someone said on twitter “I’ve never seen one stay in.”

So there’s that.

SO WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THIS WEEK? May I live vicariously through them?