So I took Addie to Lagoon yesterday.
For those of you not familiar with Utah, Lagoon is Utah’s local version of Six Flags or Knott’s Berry Farm, but watered down. Much like Utah beer.
I grew up going to Lagoon at least once a year so being able to take my little kid? YAY! FUN!
In true Gramma Addie fashion she declared “NO UPSIDE DOWN FUNNY BUSINESS!”
I however had a different plan and snuck her onto TOTAL upside down ride before she had the chance to realize it went upside down.
The little girl giggled so hard she almost fell out of her chair.
Cody told me that if we were going to be spending the money to go I’d better get her on some bigger rides, none of this sissy baby ride business.
I figured since the first upside down ride went so well that Addie was a super tough roller coaster lady and we were going to have so! much! fun! So I set my eyes and first born on Colossus.
Again, for those of you unfamiliar with Lagoon, Colossus was the biggest rollercoaster back in the day. A big drop and two loops. Upside down loops.
Addie saw it, looked at me and gave me a look.
I responded with “YAY! FUN! ROLLERCOASTERS!! WHEE!!!”
Her look didn’t change, and it certainly wasn’t a “YAY! FUN! ROLLERCOASTERS!! WHEE!!!” look.
She was being such a brave soul I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I wasn’t brave enough to go on Colossus until I was 14 and even then I only went on it to impress a boy.
We strapped in, she grabbed my hand so hard I lost feeling in my fingers.
The whole way up I kept saying “YAY! FUN! YYAAAYYYY!”
Her look didn’t change.
That is until it changed to fear.
And then crying.
By the time it was over I was seated next to a sobbing pile of “BOO ROLLERCOASTERS WORST! MOM! EVER!” Addie.
Thankfully all I had to do to change her mind about life was go on a ride where the centrifugal force landed her in my armpit and back into fits of giggles.
Sure she was tall enough according to the ruler to go on Colossus, but I began to wonder who thought up these height rules. So I went on a ride called Wicked which according to the ruler Addie was tall enough to go on but I decided to try it out before getting Addie on it.
Had Addie gone on this so called Wicked ride her brain would have been rattled loose and any chance she had at a college scholarship would have been shot. As soon as I shot up over the first hill my brain screamed at me “YOU’RE OLD WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?” Then it started going over just how many chiropractic appointments it was going to take to undo what this thing had just done to me.
Never would I have taken Addie on that thing.
Then again when I got home Cody said “I DIDN’T EXPECT YOU TO PUT HER ON COLOSSUS!”
Parents of short humans? Height restrictions on rollercoasters are crap. Try them yourself first and if your butt puckers at all? Keep your kids off them.
You know, unless you like watching your kids cry and giving them nightmares.
We spent the remainder of the day on much calmer rides, many of which spun. Which led my brain to spin, again causing it to scream “YOU’RE OLD!” It took a Zofran (thanks pregnancy!) and an hour under a shady tree looking like a recovering alcoholic to be able to stand upright again.
Oh we had fun. So much fun. Her sensible youth balanced out my easily nauseated old age and we skipped through that park and showed it who was boss. Addie declared it the BEST! DAY! EVER! and the declaration stuck until she got to Grandma’s house and got to play in the pool with her cousins.
I sometimes wonder what life would be like when any day could suddenly become the BEST! DAY! EVER! at a moment’s notice. Seems to work out for Addie pretty well.