When I moved into my house I allowed my black thumb to purchase three supposedly “unkillable” houseplants.

I figured if I could keep them alive for a year I’d allow myself to purchase more, maybe even grow a flower outside.

My houseplants successfully survived more than an entire year.

Then I brought home a baby.

I am pleased to report that the baby is still very much alive and well.

her perch.

The houseplants?

Um, well.

Not so much.

The entire last month has gone by in a blur of boobs, bottles, sweatpants, full arms and a full heart.

My parents visited last week and the aptly named Gramma Flower helped Addie plant my four big concrete planters. While we were at the nursery she used terms like “vinca” and “coleus.” All I heard was “blah blah blah you’ll feel really guilty if you kill all these beautiful flowers.”

planting flowers with grandma.

my front porch.

So I am now attempting to keep five living things fed, watered and safe from the hungry jaws of fluffy widdle bunnies. (So maybe I only have to keep the flowers safe from the impending doom of the rabbits…but I read Bunnicula, those creatures are not to be trusted.)

Vivi is a kitty napper. Due to sheer force of will the child is unable to snooze for longer than 15 minutes at a time unless it is either A) right before bedtime or B) bedtime. Which isn’t horrible. But it sure does leave me feeling wholly unproductive at the end of the day. (Just ask the houseplants. Oh wait, you can’t. They’re very dead.)

She has started to smile (unless by the same sheer force of will she has very well timed gas) and I am pleased to report that she will officially cost her dad a lot more money and grief than previously planned with her giant gummy grin and full head of deliciously furry baby hair.

29 days

As if there was any other option.

Comments

  1. Sunshine says:

    Excellent post! I don’t do well with houseplants either, but kudos to keeping the kid alive! ;)Your child is beautiful and I can understand how your plants would be lower on your list of priorities! Congrats!

  2. That’s okay. House plants just collect dust. As if you need anything else to put on your list, am I right?

    Enjoy that little babe.

  3. Eh, plants come and go. Amazing newborn-ness? It’s fleeting. Enjoy it. Worry about plants later. Say when Vivi goes to kindergarten. ;)

    Oh how I adore her tiny self. Wish I could come visit and snuggle her.

  4. I want to smoosh her.

  5. You already have Addie so you know how it is with little girls. I had a boy first and when I had my daughter I went crazy with clothes. She looks just sooo cute in all the little dresses. My husband quickly realized a daughter was more expensive than a son!

    Hopefully your plants survive the summer!

  6. The US flag is not supposed to touch the ground, ma’am. Please don’t let it in the future?

    Jimmy Reply:

    @Boxer, If you think that was an egregious act, you should have seen the retirement ceremony for the flag. The Boy Scouts tried to hold each corner over the fire to give that flag a proper retirement, but two of the Scouts couldn’t stand the pain when the little plastic corners melted onto their fingers and they both prematurely dropped the flag into the fire.

  7. You totally have appropriate priorities. Man, keeping those plants alive is really hard.

  8. She’s so presh!

    And me and houseplants? Do not mix. Or outdoor plants. It’s BAD.

  9. If the ability to raise children is determined by the ability to sustain plant life, my children are clearly doomed.

  10. Chrysta says:

    Meh. Houseplants are highly over-rated. I’ve never been able to keep any alive, either. I do ok with my lawn and shrubbery (Monty Python, anyone?), but I don’t even bother with annuals because they die. Every. Stinking. Time. And I’m not talking about at the end of the season when they’re supposed to.

    And? It’s hard to get much of ANYTHING done, let alone bothering with mere plants, when you’re walking around your house with your cracked, drippy boobs hanging out, hoping they’ll heal a bit between the kid’s trips to the bong. No. I swear I’m not spying on you. :)

    Vivi and her hair ROCK. I want one. BAD.

  11. I want to pinch her little elbow. Those little dimples are too much.

    I, too, am a killer of plants. Yet, Zoe keeps planting seeds.

  12. BUNNICULA! I didn’t know anyone else in the world read those books besides me!

    your flowers are lovely.

    your babies are gorgeous.

  13. you produce much prettier children than houseplants, anyway.

    i planted seeds that littlebean gave me from her mom’s morning out program. i have never grown anything from a seed before (except her, i guess).
    i was overjoyed that these hearty little plants that said they needed very little started to sprout after a week! stems and leaves…
    that was mid-april.
    the dam flowers have yet to even bud.
    what does that say for my parenting skills??

    let’s just keep on with the adorable little girls instead.

    oh, and here’s to better naps in your future!

  14. Could you please kill my houseplants? Seriously, please??
    I swear there is a care package coming…I cannot swear that I now will not include a packet of seeds.

  15. I have never fully trusted anyone with healthy houseplants ;)

  16. I can’t decide whether the correct response is NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM or zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzsszquee!

  17. Wait until Addie has her first Prom and your husband doesn’t understand what exactly it is your buying besides the dress. Then he sees his baby girl walk into the room looking like a princess, HIS little princess. PRICELESS. Happened for us a month ago. Was almost worth surviving the teenage years. Almost. :)

  18. Those photos make *my* uterus hurt.

  19. Your posts are making me look forward to the birth of my own second child in August SO much! I love that picture of Vivi sleeping – what an adorable little angel. (P.S. Those containers looks fantastic and have me almost changing my mind about not having flowers this year.)

  20. Plants, schmants. The most important thing is- you make the most delicious babies. Please feel free to take and post lots of yummy pics (in all your free time…)

  21. You have two absolutely delishly lovable and gorgeous children!

    Sending you lots of love and blessings and some relief for all of you – rest is good and so needed so I hope you and your family start getting plenty of it.

  22. Your daughters are thriving beautifully, you can always get new plants.

    I hope Vivi learns to sleep a bit more in the day so you get some rest.

  23. The house plants cannot snooze on your shoulder like that little baby.

    I kill plants too, luckily my hubby has a green thumb!

  24. Random rant tangent: When I brought V home people bought me houseplants! Who does that? And who gets miffed if their plants are dead 3 months later?

    Oh btw, I would still be in a cocoon of newborn basking if I were in your shoes too, succumb to the non-productiveness, that time is up so quickly *g*

  25. OMG, Miss Vivi is getting so BIG! Make her stop growing!

  26. Cursing the firewall here at work today that blocks Flickr so I can’t see the adorable Vivi. BAH.

    Congrats on keeping another human alive for a month or so! :) heh

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