*clears throat* Hi. Hello. I’m Casey and I refuse to go to the bathroom in front of anyone over the age of four except for female nurses in a hospital setting.

Aside from Addie coming in after age four to have a little conversation with me, no one has ever seen me go to the bathroom except for female nurses in a hospital setting.

But Casey! Cody saw you birth a baby! Surely that’s not any different!

I’ve only birthed two babies in my 29 years and both times something marvelous and distracting came out in the form of a baby. I can assure you, never in my 29 years has something marvelous and distracting come out aside from humans.

You’ve been married ten years! You’ve gone camping! You’ve stayed in hotels! You’ve been in the hospital! You’ve been pregnant! YOU LIVED IN A ONE BEDROOM ONE BATHROOM APARTMENT!

You’re not going to get me on this one. I would rather die a slow horrible death from backed up poop and pinched in pee than go to the bathroom in front of my husband. PERIOD.

What about your close friends and family?

I’ll just say I’ve never seen a single one of my girlfriends naked. Sadly I am well aware of the ones who DO NOT SHUT THE DOOR ZOMG SHUT THE DOOR OR WE CANNOT STAY IN HOTEL ROOMS TOGETHER.

I have spent the last three days in a very small hotel room with my mom and only sister. We all shut the door. And keep our bits covered. If we can do it, you can do it.

I guess if you want a little backstory, if I ever wanted to become instantly unattracted to a boy in my younger years I would picture him taking a giant sweaty too much Mexican food pit stop. Attraction CURED! Not to mention, you may *think* you only have a #1 to attend to. But sometimes #2 can appear! OUT OF NOWHERE! Or there’s the dreaded #1.5 in the form of giant echoing farts against cold porcelain.

Even when I’m old and in diapers while Cody is still strong, able bodied and nimble, I will pay some young woman nurse good money to come in and change me. I’m sure Cody would offer, but honestly him paying the young nurse lady would be a much grander gesture of love and affection in our senior years.

So when did you first break the “potty in front of a loved one” barrier? WHO’S WITH ME?

Because with me is really the only place to be.

*shuts door on way out, you’re welcome.*

Comments

  1. I’m pretty much the exact opposite. I’m a door open unless we’ve got company kind of person. I MUST NOT BE BOXED IN.

    I rarely even shut the door to shower. (Only if it’s cold!)

    Sarah @ TM2TS Reply:

    @Catie, I thought I was the only one. ONLY time I’ve closed the door was when I visited my folks. Then I did, simply because I was scared to death of my dad walking in, LOL!

    Jennifer Reply:

    @Catie, Gotta say I’m with you ladies too. Guess I just don’t think it’s worth closing when one of my kids is just going to open it and come in anyway.

  2. I haven’t pottied at home without an audience in years. If it’s not a kid or a pet, it’s the husband.

  3. I have never. EVER. And neither has my husband. Because…no. Just no. I think those parts need to only be used for GOOD with one’s spouse watching.

  4. “Or there‚Äôs the dreaded #1.5 in the form of giant echoing farts against cold porcelain.”

    HILARIOUS! and yet so, so true. I refuse to let anyone see me use the bathroom. My 3 year old will occasionally bother me while I’m in there, though.

    Also? Leaving the door open grosses me out… I don’t wanna see, hear OR smell what’s happening in there, yo.

  5. I’m a closed door kind of a girl and I really get annoyed when Daren walks in. He just doesn’t get me. Or he has a death wish.

  6. With you. I thought it was a little weird that my husband would NEVER even run in to grab something, or let me, but once I got used to the idea I can’t imagine people just haning out while one of them is using the toilet. Ick. And weird.

  7. I’m with you. Nope. I do not go potty in front of husband. And I don’t allow him to go in front of me. Door must.be.closed. He’s never tried to walk in on me. I don’t have a sense of humor like that. He wants to stay married, so he does not walk in.

  8. My husband and I have a strict closed door policy thankyouverymuch. Bathroom time is private time.

  9. I don’t mind peeing in front of friends. But never poop.

    & NEITHER in front of my husband. Ever.

    I don’t even go to the bathroom in front of my child. I shut the door.

  10. My ex-husband would do mean things like light a candle and spray hairspray or air freshener across it at ne while I was unable to move, or pour cold water on me while I was showering. Cruel. So when I met my new husband, I made it very clear that potty time is private time, and he was to knock first and get permission before visiting me while I shower. It works well for us. My kids, they are pottytraining so potty time is community, but that will stop. Already my 3 year old son doesn’t want my help.

  11. With you 100%. After birthing my first child the nurse helped me to the bathroom and then proceeded to look at me like I was insane as I insisted she shut the door. I don’t care if all and sundry did just see my business, the show was over.

  12. AMEN. NO, you may not watch me potty. My wedding day was the one exception to this rule, since SOMEONE had to hold up the dress.

    My husband and I are on the same page with this. I do not want to witness that, and I don’t want him to witness ME. Even when I was in labor and hooked up to a million monitors I shut the damn door; I was suffering enough indignity. Sheesh! ;)

    So glad to hear someone with a good marriage say this too. So many people try to use this as a qualifier of intimacy, but no. Just no.

  13. Jana from Germany says:

    When I had I sicnificant other and we lived together in a one bathroom appartment, I went to the potty with him there. But it is different, because I have MS and if I have to go then I have to go this instant or wash my clothes. And that is much more embarrasing than number 1.5! Not that I did not have episodes of: I have to change clothes again, aaaarrrrgggggghhhh! But it was not that often if I choose to ignore him there with me.

  14. I feel the same way. The only exceptions I have made is if I REALLY have to go #1 and my husband is in the shower (we have 1 bathroom), I will announce to him that I’m going so that he won’t look and I’ve done it a few times with my best friend in a situation where she was getting ready in a bathroom and just didn’t take the hint to leave when I really had to go (she must be a door open kind of girl). Never ever ever will I do a #2 in front of anyone except my kids.

  15. Amen, sister.

  16. mommabird2345 says:

    My husband and I are eight and a half years into our marriage, and we both shut the door no matter what. There are some things your spouse should NEVER see. Ick.

  17. NEVER!!! I have been with my husband for 14 years (married 7 of those years) and neither ONE of us would ever go to the bathroom in front of the other. I have peed in front of my sister and she’ll do anything in front of anybody! But, that’s the extent of who can see me during “private time.”

  18. I am totally with you. I’ve been married 11 years and my husband still has no idea that I poop. I will take an extra shower or ask him to run to the store for milk or wait it out until he’s asleep. But I will not just nonchalantly walk into the bathroom and poop. That would be so weird.

    I do see him pee a lot, because I follow him around and chatter at him, but he’s never seen me pee. That would also be weird.

  19. Word. I stand beside you in no public peeing solidarity. I know we have the same bodily functions but I do not wish you to share in mine or me to share in yours. Ever.

  20. Me. Too.

  21. You’re so funny. I couldn’t be more opposite. I frequently use the bathroom in front of girlfriends and my husband. I do see your concern about the accidental 1.5 you can never predict that one.

  22. I’m with you and EXTREMELY worried. DH just saw me in the restroom while I was at the hospital for my d&c on Friday. He refused to let me go alone. (He’s onto my tricks. In 8th grade I locked myself in the restroom to avoid surgery.) He didn’t “watch” but now I’m worried. What if he can’t stop thinking of that when we are *finally* cleared to have sex again?

    I’m pretty sure we’ll be fine, but really, it unnerves me.

  23. I have no problem going in front of other people. We have four kids and one bathroom. Pre-children, we kept things private, but it became more and more difficult to do that with each child. Now, the line is drawn at wiping. No one in the room while I wipe, please.

    I never go in the bathroom when my husband is pooping because I just don’t want to. But it’s not taboo or anything.

    In terms of life and all the hellacious things that can happen in the living of it, I figure pooping and peeing in front of another is pretty much no big deal.

  24. OMGoodness…I am 100%, totally and without a doubt WITH YOU ON THIS! My husband and I BOTH shut the door. I have no desire to see things come out of his manly bits and have no desire to allow him to see me squatting on the john. Seems that my kids even outgrow the urge to barge in on me around the age of 6 or 7…thank God! I grew up in a house where this was not a big deal…funny that I now think it is!

    When my only son was learning to potty train, I even had to MAKE my husband show him how it’s done (and heck no, I was NOT in the room) because all he’d seen at that point was his Momma…and that don’t quite cut it in the pee department for boys!!!

    And, I have skillfully and very carefully fooled my kids into thinking that Moms DO NOT FART! Lets just say I have mastered the art of being discreet without anyone being able to detect it. AHEM. Thankfully, I am not an overly gassy person or this might have been an impossible task.

    Geez. You have no idea how hard it is for me to dish about this topic! Only for you, Casey! :)

  25. Yeah, no open-door bathrooming. Ever. Ugh, soooo not okay.

    xox

  26. Have you let one slip in front of Cody? Or are you just every guys dream? (bc my husband thinks I’m gross for leaving the door open – but I grew up in an open door family – don’t blame me, blame my mother!)

  27. I’ll happily go #1 in front of family and close friends but NO WAY NO HOW for #2.

    Can I tell you a gross story? My aunt does not have the same, er, boundaries. We were visiting my great aunt, sharing a bedroom and bathroom, and I was flossing my teeth before bed. My aunt came in and started pooing. IN FRONT OF ME. WHEN MY MOUTH WAS OPEN BECAUSE OF THE FLOSSING.

  28. My mother used to think it was appropriate behavior have us go into the bathroom with her to have a conversation and she would actually GO, to come in and do #2 when I bathed, or corner me on the toilet to have a conversation. Yes we had a lock, and she always found the key. Needless to say, my bathroom is a sacred place, and I am a blessed woman to have a home with two bathrooms. The end.

  29. Amen and amen. When my water broke with #1 child, I called my husband to the bathroom door. His mother burst through it.

    Things simply have not been the same since.

  30. No way, no how. We’ve been married for 26 years and hubby has NEVER seen me potty. If he needs something and I’m in the bathtub, he will knock and wait for me to tell him it’s okay to come in. Bathroom time is private time. Period.

  31. We are a pretty closed door family- with a couple of exceptions.

    A few years ago, I had surgery and I couldn’t wipe myself if I went pee. So… poor hubby had to do it for me.

    And when we were first dating, we had a very drunken night out that led to me asking him if I could hold ‘it’ while he went pee. And he said yes! He is the most private person in the world… so this is still funny to me to this day!

  32. I will pee in front of anyone, anytime. I’ve had two kids and my bladder, well…the ole girl just isn’t what she used to be. However #2 is a locked door, bathroom fan on situation.

  33. Never. My husband has NEVER been in the bathroom with me while I was using the toilet. And vice-versa. We also make sure to turn on the exhaust fan so we don’t hear the other person’s business from the next room. It’s just polite, for God’s sake.

  34. Amy in StL says:

    I’m totally from a closed door family and I’m glad my manfriend is too. A couple of my girlfriends though; not so much. I don’t even like going potty in a public bathroom around people I know. I usually try to go to an end stall at work. My mom and I go at different times when we’re shopping – I have no desire to share what I’m doing in there with someone I have to look in the eye.

    OH, and what’s up with co-workers who take the stall next to you (out of 10) when you’ve clearly gone to the end stall and no-one else is in there? Privacy!!!

  35. I have been married for over 13 years…but I do not potty OF ANY KIND in front of my husband. No ma’am. And certainly not in front of my friends. NO!!

    I mean, I even freak out when I’m peeing near one of my friends in a public bathroom.

  36. Savannah C. says:

    I’m so happy I’m not alone. I work in an office with perdominantly women, and they all think I’m crazy because I A)don’t like hugging/group hugs at work
    B)I ALWAYS close the door to the restroom–no matter what!!
    C)I’ve never ever seen anyone in my family naked, and vice versa

    Savannah C. Reply:

    @Savannah C., Oh and I also don’t like talking in our public bathroom while we’re both “going” haha

  37. Interestingly, I’m reading a book about French culture, and the women say they never, ever walk around naked in front of their husbands. Hot lingerie, yes, naked, no – they seem to think it is too crude.

  38. HAAA! I held off for many, many years, but when I was pregnant, I was so sick that sometimes I would be barfing and just desperately have to pee. So my husband saw me then. And he chose to stick around. He’s weird like that. But NEVER NEVER NEEEEVVVVEEERRRR #2. Oh, no. At home, I usually have a little boy with me. Remind me some time when we’re in the same room to re-enact the story of helping my friend Meredith pee in her wedding dress. There’s a visual that can’t be missed.

  39. I’m so with you!! My boyfriend and I went to India with his parents. We stopped a truck stop/motel type place to use the restroom. They didn’t have one so they opened up a motel room for us to use. He offered to hold my hands so I could balance over the traditional-hole-in-the-ground-toilet. I declined vehemently and did just fine without the help. Glad other people like privacy too!

  40. I’m the total opposite. At least with family! My sister and I shared a hotel room and all bets were off dude. We peed with the door open, changed in front of each other, just totally didn’t care. haha.

  41. This is something we are going to have to agree to disagree on. I grew up as a dancer and have revealed my woman parts in a large dressing room toooooo many times to know who the hell has seen them. Now the husband and I do not poop or fart with/around/near/etc one another. We know it happens but we prefer it stay out of sight/mind/aroma/etc.

  42. We are a family of sharing people. I do strongly draw the line at letting the children wipe me though. Yes, they have volunteered. Many times. My issues are all public bathroom related.

  43. Ok, so I can’t wrap my brain around this one. I haven’t pooped by myself in over 4 years. It’s like you guys are all “Oh, I’ll drive my minivan everyone in a while if I really need to fun an errand, but other than that I always drive my INSANELY AWESOME HOVER CRAFT.
    Obviously you drive the hover craft!!! But how? HOW??!! How do you get them (all of them!) to leave you alone?

  44. Uhm, if she can see me put my man parts into her, she can see me use them in any other necessary endeavour.

  45. My husband and have been together 9.5 years and counting with no bathroom business in front of each other. I will die before use the restroom in front of my husband. My 3 year old likes to burst in on me to tell me urgent 3 year old news. I will give him until he’s 5. Plus, I figure I still help him out with his potty issues, so it’s only fair he can talk to me in the potty. He is starting to tell me “Mommy, I need privacy” but in the next breath it’s “Mommy, help me wipe!”

  46. I’m soooo with you, Casey.

  47. AH! I had two babies in Mexico and with my second (Vivienne) — I was assigned TWO MALE NURSES. I HAD JUST GIVEN BIRTH.

    Omg.
    Omg.
    Omg.

    I cried. (Actually I sobbed.) I wouldn’t let them touch me.

    All that to say, um, I get it.

  48. I have absolutely no problem peeing in front of people I know well. I don’t know why that is. For some reason I relate it to marching band and having to change in front of people a lot. But #2? No way in hell. I hold it if I have to. And if I think there’s even a chance someone will hear me make a sound? Or a splash? I’ll still hold it. I’ve held it for days. DAYS.

    It was not fun.

  49. In 17 years my husband has never seen me in the presence of a toilet save one medical emergency and that one bad night of tequila but there was only praying going on. No peeing. Seriously we built the bathroom in our house around this principle. Keeping the marital mystery alive…right?

  50. I’m pretty sure you’ve seen me naked at least once. Remember that one time I thought you were gone, but then you came back and SURPRISE! I had already ditched my clothes? Sorry. That’s just how I roll.

    As you know, my family pees with the door open. And well, sadly my mom and dad poop with the door open. Oh the shame. I’m more than comfortable peeing in front of people and seeing other people pee. But poop? I stand firm on my position that I do not and never have pooped in my life. (Except the one time I let Billy walk me through the use of an enema.)

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  1. [...] and I were at dinner last night with some friends and after the comments on my post about CLOSING THE DOOR WHEN YOU GO POTTY PLEASE AND THANK YOU I’m pretty sure I’m the majority. But the table assured me I am in fact in the [...]