I don’t rant very often.

But I spent the afternoon with my family at the mall.

Shoe shopping.

We were woefully unsuccessful.

And I left grumpy. But not because of the shoes.

Because of the teenagers.

Let me say this, neither Addie or Vivi will ever be allowed to leave the house in shorts or skirts that end above their fingertips.

There wasn’t a single girl wearing these…things, who wasn’t constantly pulling them out of her crotch.

I saw more butt cheek fold today than I’ve ever seen on MTV, VH1 and E! combined. ON TEENAGERS.

I had to physically restrain myself after seeing a MUCH OLDER MAN ogle a girl in a short skirt.

I wanted to take her to the side, grab her by the shoulders and say “HONEY. YOUR BUTT. IS HANGING OUT. WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE (11 years ago?) THAT WAS ILLEGAL. A MAN OLDER THAN YOUR DAD JUST ENJOYED LOOKING AT IT. COVER THAT UP. HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR YOURSELF.”

Then there were the bare midriffs.

YES.

Never have bare midriffs been acceptable unless you are on the beach/pool, near a beach/pool or walking to the beach/pool. Even then? Bare midriffs are debatable. With this being the case about bare midriffs, they are certainly not okay on TEENAGERS at the MALL in INDIANA in SEPTEMBER.

Google “cute teen clothing?”

YOU GET THIS.

WHEN DID THIS BECOME OKAY?

Google “modest teen clothing?”

You get…well. Let’s just say some people have some ideas about over the top modesty.

Shouldn’t there be some middle ground?

That being said, there were some girls who did cover themselves. Who dressed to flatter their body instead of flaunt it. I wanted to congratulate them. Thank them. THANK THEIR MOMS. The best part? They were the ones that stood out in a sea of non existent denim and tiny tank tops with multi colored bras hanging out from underneath them.

So.

That’s my rant.

(See also, ice cream is more delicious this week than other weeks. Make of that what you will. *ehem*)

Comments

  1. My mom called my sister and I the other day to thank us for always shopping at Gap and J Crew. Apparently my 17 year old cousin’s girlfriend is more of the 5-7-9 variety and my family was horrified.

    Casey Reply:

    @Corrin, I decided long ago that I will be more than happy to spend more on my girls clothing so they can feel comfortable, express their individuality and stay covered. Today only enforced that.

  2. Best line in this post: “There wasn’t a single girl wearing these…things, who wasn’t constantly pulling them out of her crotch.”

    Awesome.

    :)

    Modesty has gone the way of the corded telephone.

    (I was really hoping that the midriff/Brittney Spears thing wasn’t going to come back…)

    Casey Reply:

    @ky, I still remember I had a party at my house in sixth grade. We had a rotary dial (corded) telephone. The foreign exchange student from India didn’t know how to work it. Just like I’m pretty sure some of these girls don’t know how to shop. *sigh*

  3. I have NEVER been a short shorts/skirts person. And I prefer to wear a swim shirt when at the pool. No bare midriffs here.

    My cousin has always been the opposite and her mother allowed it. I don’t get it.

    Every article of clothing I purchase must meet my modesty standards, which are and always have been fairly high/well covered. Sometimes this is beyond frustrating when the items you’ve included are considered “fashionable”.

    Casey Reply:

    @A, Even if I didn’t have religious modesty standards my knees would be and always will be covered. Period.

  4. OH GOD. It’s all very much like a frenzied, aggressive visual and mental assault, isn’t it. I have close cousins who are like my nieces that are 18 and under, and my goddaughter is 12. I have told them all, if I EVER see them in ANYTHING revealing or “sexy,” I will burn their closets to the ground. Not on my watch, dammit.

    Now that you mention it, I’m going to go thank all the moms who enforce this, or seem to, because I’m gagging at those shorts that I see EVERYWHAR.

    Casey Reply:

    @Jurgen Nation, I’ll bring the matches.
    AND THE SHORTS. THEY WERE EVERYWHERE.
    AND THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN ANYWHERE.

  5. Danielle Randall-Bartholomew says:

    Yes,,,, Yes….. and YES! If I were to EVER TO EVEN TRY to leave the house as a teenager dressed like a “2 bit hussy” (dad speak) I would have been turned right around and told to go put on some REAL clothes. lol. But then again I did not really wear makeup till I was about 23…. And my mom is a make up artist for Christian Dior. I just NEVER felt the need to “dress to impress” I was a teen in the 90s, the era of Grunge…. So flanel shirts and tattered jeans, converse and dark hair were popular. ALL fine by my dad. lol. I had a steady HS boyfriend and I never fely ugly or uncool for not wearing slutty stuff… I was uncool and unpopular for VARIOUS other reasons. =P . I have a little girl, Rochelle (5 weeks old) and 2 little boys Connor 6 and Miles 3… I hope to teach ALL of them to respect themselves more than to misrepresent there “morals”. The moms/dads of these scantly clad little GIRLS need to focus on being the parents and NOT there kids FRIENDS.

    Casey Reply:

    @Danielle Randall-Bartholomew, I just felt better covered. I always have. And I still don’t know how to put on makeup, can I borrow your mom?

    Nichole Reply:

    @Danielle Randall-Bartholomew. Oh the ’90s! I’m hoping large flannel shirts become fashionable again right around the time my daughter gets to her teen years.

    Tamara Sz Reply:

    I have thought this so many times. May my daughter raid my husband’s closet!

  6. I agree with everything in this post but one thing: the man. It’s not the girl’s fault that he’s being a disgusting creep. But yes, please, cover yourselves. No one needs or wants to see your bum.

    Casey Reply:

    @Lauren, Of course it’s not her fault for his actions. However, had she been covered there would have been no butt cheek fold to look at.

    Melissa Reply:

    @Casey,

    Just saying – there are pedophiles out there that would look no matter what the girl is wearing…which is scary in and of itself!

    Casey Reply:

    @Melissa, *la la la I can’t hear you!* (Also? I check the registry near me often. Sigh.)

  7. AMEN! It’s awful on so many different levels. If they’re dressing like that for their “friends” or the boys(and you know that they are) then they’re after the wrong boys and they need real friends.

    Casey Reply:

    @Amanda, Yes. I will be their real friend. I am a good friend. Plus? I’ve got the modesty thing DOWN.

  8. AMEN, sister!! I was at a college football game today, and mind you these girls were a bit older (18-22ish), but the average length of shorts on these girls was horrifying.

    I must be getting old, but honestly the amount of butt cheek I saw today was not okay.

    Casey Reply:

    @Erika @ Bird E, Can you imagine your bare butt cheek pressing into bleacher seats? *shiver*

  9. I agree completely. And we are headed to Woodfield Mall tomorrow and oh my, I imagine I’ll be covering up my boys’ eyes.

    Steph

    Casey Reply:

    @Adventures In Babywearing, Well, all those billboards. Yeesh. Good luck my friend.

  10. You would have a field day at my college. Or yanno, multiple heart attacks.

    Casey Reply:

    @Karen Sugarpants, Canadians are guilty too? Sad.

  11. I always wonder when I see those girls at the mall ‘did their moms not see them when they left?’ and if so ‘is that ok with them?’ Because it seems the norm.

    My boys are grown but my grands are coming and man I’m scured…..

    Casey Reply:

    @pam, Oh, I told Cody yesterday that I’m scared to death. But! We’re more prepared for it than others may be.

  12. I also can’t stand babies/little girls in bikinis. Why do we want them to think at such a young age that showing off their skin is what makes them “pretty” or even “cute” All girl bellies will be covered in my house for a long long time.

    Casey Reply:

    @Jamie, Addie is not allowed in bikinis. I’m not sure she’d even want to wear one if I were to ever actually let her.

  13. After we moved from Idaho out here to VA, I can remember sitting @ the mall and just being…overwhelmed by the lack of clothing (if it can be called that) on all the teenage girls.

    Even if I didn’t have to wear longer shorts for the same reason that you do, I’d still wear longer shorts–no cheek chillers here, thank you very much. Same goes for my adorable 6 week old baby girl–it’s hard, but you can find cute modest (w/out going to the modest extreme…I’m thinking of those bathing suits that looked more like wetsuits that came out of Utah a few years ago) clothes for little girls w/out having your little girl look like a prosti-tot.

    Whatever happened to covering up and a leaving a little mystery to the imagination?!!

    Casey Reply:

    @trena, Cheek chillers! I would consider Idaho/Utah fairly modest, but I’m still even blown away by what girls wear there.

  14. I actually wore some stuff like this in my day (sans butt cheek), and I turned out all right. IF there’s a key to pulling it off, it’s to not wear more than one little piece (ie only short-shorts, not short and super tight). But also, I had a strong moral code and wore stuff as fashion and didn’t do a lot of flirting.

    Casey Reply:

    @Erica, You did turn out wonderfully, you are also incredibly tall which makes a big difference in how things fit you as well.
    Truly it’s the butt cheek that unnerves me. If I can feel my knee hanging out? Surely they can tell their bum is?

    Liz Reply:

    @Erica, Whew, thank you. I thought I’d be the only one with a similar comment. I wear stuff like that all the time — except the shorts-so-short-you-can-see-the-inside-of-the-pockets, mini skirts, and belly shirts, but only because I like my ass covered, and I have a cheeseburger baby belly that no one needs to see — and like you said, the key is moderation. If I wear short shorts, I’m wearing either a full tank top or tee shirt with it. More revealing clothing can be fun and flirty, if done right, and if you have the confidence for it.

    BUT, do I think teens should be wearing stuff like that? No, no, and no — especially not the shorts-so-short-you-can-see-the-inside-of-the-pockets. JUST no.

  15. I used to teach middle school and could not believe the parents that would challenge our dress code. No bare shoulders, shorts and skirts at least as long as their fingertips, no bare midriffs (OBV), and that’s about it.

    “But… but that’s all there is in stores. There aren’t any other choices,” the mothers would sputter. AS IF.

    Casey Reply:

    @Mama Bub, That was our dress code in school and they actually enforced it. When did the whole system fall apart?

  16. I heard a comment once about too-short shorts: “two more cheeks to powder.”

    And Casey? Don’t look at prom dresses – you’ll have a heart attack.

    Casey Reply:

    @CaySedai, Oh. OH. I’ve already told Addie she can have any prom dress she wants AS LONG AS IT COVERS HER. Honestly, celebrities at award shows wear more dress than some of those…things.

  17. mommabird2345 says:

    I’m on that modesty soapbox with you. My husband and I constantly say “our kids are NEVER dressing like *that*”. My husband has also been known to loudly scold MEN oogling at (preteen/teen) GIRLS and I’m proud of him for it.

    Enough with the revealing clothes already designers/manufacturers/department stores. Bring back clothes that are appropriate for young girls!

    Casey Reply:

    @mommabird2345, I think Cody wanted me to go have a talk with those girls yesterday. But at the same time…it’s not my place. Or is it? I don’t know.

  18. Urgh, the few times I tried to pull off something raunchy as a teenager I just ended up feeling awkward, so I gave it up quickly.

    Yay for ice cream! (Am on somewhat the same schedule.)

    Casey Reply:

    @Grypo, Exactly, I hated being uncovered. And dude, ice cream is delicious. Zits? ARE AWFUL.

    Grypo Reply:

    @Casey, I *just* had a scoop! (Or two. Possibly three, but not four, nuh uh!)

  19. Mini Rant: Those shorts with high heels. What are you, a hooker?

    Casey Reply:

    @Headless Mom, Little kids in high heels period? GRRAAFFDD.

  20. Oh my goodness gracious. Someone please Pass the prunes!

    Casey Reply:

    @Gramma, Yes. Please, join me. Matlock is about to start.

  21. I work at a high school. I have seen outfits like this and worse, and it just makes me sad for those girls. These girls think that modesty is not “cool” and will do anything to fit in. I tell these girls that self respect is so important, and you don’t gain the respect of others (especially the boys) by dressing that way. In conversations I have had with some of the male student population, they actually do not respect the girls who do not wear a lot of clothes. Plus, as you pointed out with that creepy older man, it is very distracting to the male population! Good rant, much appreciated. If only you could get them to show this post on MTV??

    Casey Reply:

    @Carla, I don’t get where the message is muddled to these girls? Boys don’t like it, you’re uncomfortable, adults can’t take you seriously, creepy people…longer shorts…is that so hard?

  22. It’s so ridiculous. And the mainstream stores carry such smutty clothes for little girls. My Girlies won’t wear shorts or tank tops. Not only because I don’t want them to…they aren’t comfortable. I hope the feel that way forever.

    Casey Reply:

    @Lene Bond, Addie is the same way. I know a lot of it is the example of the girls in her life (mainly me.) And for that I’m thankful.

  23. So well put and I agree completely.

    Also, this post makes me want to go back through your archives and see what you posted every 28 days or so starting from this one and working back. :)

  24. I KNOW. It’s an epidemic of butt cheeks and hip dimples. These girls have no respect for themselves, and they wonder why the.boys don’t either.

    I have 3 daughters, and I will beat them up if I ever catch them in clothes like that. although I’d like to think that they’ll learn all my “you have inherent value, respect yourself” life lessons.

    Their mothers aren’t much better, though. So. figures.

  25. I just don’t get it – the clothing doesn’t even LOOK good and actually is not very practical – I mean, who wants to walk around all day pulling down their shorts or worrying that they’re going to be cold or wet if it’s raining when they’re wearing that torn up shirt?

    Casey Reply:

    @Melissa, Or All that extra shaving you have to do! The less shaving the better!

  26. My husband is helping to renovate a high school and everyday he comes home horrified by what the girls are wearing and that the high school administrators let them. If these girls can’t respect their bodies by wearing comfortable and attractive clothing, then who will? Nobody, that’s who.

    Casey Reply:

    @ami, I’m all about ladies active wear. I don’t have to dig a single thing out of my butt ever.

  27. My bathing suit is a dress, a fairly longish dress, I think that sums up my stance on it quite nicely. BUT when I was young, I was one of those hoochie momma girls and had to figure it out on my own, apparently the adults in my life just waited for me to grow out of it rather than tell me it wasnt an option. I am SO embarrassed now when I see pictures of the teenage me. Ugh. At least I stopped right? Thanks for this, I totally cracked up.

    Casey Reply:

    @Jana, Maybe that’s why you have boys. :)
    Needless to say, I’m glad you figured it out because you’re lovely.

  28. sigh. i just… i can’t even… so sad…

    Casey Reply:

    @nic @mybottlesup, yeah. that was me after one hour at the mall yesterday.

  29. AMEN! I can’t stand to see a style that makes you look like a tiny whore on purpose. And I don’t want to see any butt cheeks unless they are my infant son’s (so cute! But not in public!) I just want to yell at these girl ‘do you have a mother?! Does she know you look like THAT?!’.

  30. Midriffs are back? Ugh, ugh, and ugh!

  31. OH. MY. GOODNESS. I couldn’t have said this better. Girls are parading in and out of Abercrombie and Forever 21 wearing almost nothing. You need more then 2″ inseam, girls!

    It’s great that these girls are all confident and stuff, but they all think they have to dress like that to get a boys attention.

    I wasn’t even allowed to wear a two piece bathing suit at that age.

  32. Sing. It. Sister.

    I have an 11-year-old girl, and she’s 5’6″ tall and 128 lbs of curves. A sixth grader should not have to shop in the Junior section yet, because what’s offered there? IS HORRIFYING.

    Luckily, I’ve talked to my girls for YEARS already about what’s appropriate to wear and what’s not, and what image you want other people to see, and what that says about you. And now you know what her favorite place to shop is? JCPenney’s. I’ll take it.

  33. I fight this battle every single day. My daughter is 12. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sent her upstairs to change before we leave the house because her shorts are too short. Ugh.

  34. Where are the parents of these girls? Just because her friends shop at Abercrombie, Aeropostale or Hollister doesn’t mean she should. However, the power is all in the parents’ hands. If you don’t buy it, sales go down and stores scramble to find something that will sell. Trouble is, we have way too many mothers who happily fork over money to dress their daughters like sleazy tarts.

    Morals and decency has gone right out of the window as well as all of the progress women have made in advancing their sex. Girls are still presenting themselves as sex objects. Their shorts have gotten shorter, their shirts have gotten tighter. Meanwhile, boys’ shirts have gotten looser and their pants and shorts have gotten longer and baggier.

    This goes all the way back to whoever is writing the checks to buy these clothes for their daughters and 99% of the time, that’s the mother. If she is not teaching her daughter anything about morals and self respect. She’s teaching her daughter that her daughter must have an unhealthy, warped and sexual concept about herself in order for her to feel worthy. Meanwhile, men of all ages are ogling their jailbait daughters.

  35. My hard and fast rule is “If I can tell, by casual observation,what kind of underwear you have (or don’t have) on, you need to go change. You too, 12 year-old boy with your pants hanging 6 inches below the top of your plaid boxers. No one wants to see that. Same to you, 30 year-old woman with the blouse so tight/thin I can see the pattern/seams on your bra. It pleases me to no end to hear the words “This one’s cute, Mom, but not that one. It’s not modest,” come out of my 6 year-old daughter’s mouth.

  36. Just another reason I hope I have boys if we decide to have kids. The only clothes fights will have will be about wearing their pants no lower than their hips and if they wear a ball cap to wear it right.
    Plus I think it’s a smaller hurdle to teach them to respect girls than it is to teach girls to respect themselves.

  37. I work at a high school.

    And, YES.

    That is all.

    OurLittleAshley Reply:

    @OurLittleAshley,
    Also, my mom didn’t even let us wear thongs. She’d take them from us and give them back once we graduated high school. Ha.

  38. My parents would have never, ever let us buy stuff like that while we were living under their roof. Never. Now I was on the chubby side, so I *wanted* to cover up–but either way, I was taught that modesty was more important than fashion. To this day, I still wear pantyhose to church. It’s just the way I was raised.

    I have two sons myself… I won’t have to worry about them buying this crap, I just have to worry about them liking girls who wear it. My husband and I have the opposite difficult task of teaching them that the girls who cover up are the ones most worth getting to know!

  39. I am SO with you on this. I’m the mother of three boys, so thankfully I’m not battling the problem in our home. But I’m surprised at how permissive some of my friends are with their daughters. Even the very young girls in borderline provocative clothes. I support your rant. :)

  40. Thank you. It needed to be said.

  41. Michele Turney says:

    You can not tell me those girls don’t have some serious case of chafe.

  42. Preach it, girl! I just took our 5 year old back to school shopping last night and was terribly disappointed with the selection for young girls. We let with only socks. Today, we had better success, but geez, these poor girls–they have a heck of a lot working against them.

  43. I rant every single time I am anywhere that teenagers gather. I am horrified by what parents allow their children to wear and the choices those children make. I also have 2 girls (3 and 5). I have little doubt that they will take my name in vein a million times because I love them too much to let them undervalue themselves that way. Check out the GIRLS department at Target. As in clothes that my 5 yr old can wear. Those even cross the line of what I think is acceptable sometimes.

  44. I lose sleep every time I see my niece and realize that in eight years my daughter will be the same age. Not just the clothes she wears, but the attitude she wears them with. It’s disheartening.

  45. If your pocket is hanging out the front of your shorts/skirt? TOO SHORT.

    Good heavens.

  46. I read this on my phone when the email came through while I was at a food court with my mom and son and there was a girl, maybe 15, who had her hand in front of her crotch the whole time, constantly pulling her shorts down. I don’t get shorts like that at all, they’re basically denim underwear. Let’s just call it what it is. =)

  47. I agree that clothes are too short and too tight. Our school district dress code is knee length for skirts and shorts, shirts must have sleeves, and no midriff baring or plunging cleavage sharing. I must say though that it is has been very hard to find skirts that reach knee length and knee-length shorts are almost impossible. I have no problem with my daughter wearing a skirt that is fingertip length with a pair of shorts or tights on underneath to avoid gawkers. My daughter did get sent to the office last year because her skirt wasn’t long enough and I was the one who left her wear it and actually told she looked cute that morning. This year we have been much more aware while buying back-to-school clothes and I have noticed a trend of longer skirt lengths!

  48. How many of these girls do you think were at Britney? :)

  49. Oh…. how I dread having teenage girls.

  50. Oh thank you, Jesus, for blessing me with boys. Amen.

    I actually had a similar experience at the mall today, walking behind a girl and seeing her butt cheeks with every step. Horrifying.