“Your belly is still squashy.” *poke poke poke*
“That’s because it carried two babies. The more babies it carries the more babies I have to snuggle, the softer my belly needs to be. Would you want to snuggle with a hard mom?”
“Nope. So that’s why your chest is squashy and your bum is squashy and your legs are squashy?”
“Yep. All the better to snuggle you with.”
“So you’ll never get unsquashy?”
“Not until I’m out of babies to snuggle.”
“Vivi’s squashy because she’s a baby and we have to snuggle her right?”
“Right.”
“Someday will I be super comfy like you?”
“Yep. It’s one of the best parts of having babies. Becoming their favorite comfy place.”
I read a biography a long time ago about a mother and her daughter said something like “I’m so glad my mom was always comfortable. She always felt like a mom. She never tried to fit into worldly stereotypes. She was just happy being our mom.”
As Addie was poking my soft parts it would have been so easy to use negative self talk, the word fat or begin talking about how I needed to work out. Addie may have ignored me completely or she may have listened to every word I said and I would have planted a seed about what she is supposed to look like as a girl or woman.
I am happy and I am healthy.
On my squashy parts is where both of my girls like to lay their heads the most.
Why would I want to say something negative about them?
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Comments off.
By Kerri. on 10.20.11 1:45 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @sixuntilme
This is truly lovely. Thank you for this.
By C @ Kid Things on 10.20.11 1:48 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @kidthingsnet
She does look very happy right where she is. Beautiful.
By Shan on 10.20.11 1:55 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @mandy4matt
Wonderful!
By Angi on 10.20.11 2:02 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @OnlyAngi
awesome
By Sara on 10.20.11 2:04 pm | Permalink
This makes me feel better about my squishy parts!! <3
By heidikins on 10.20.11 2:04 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @heidikins13
I love this. My mom never talked about diets or exercising or being fat, although she was significantly overweight. As an adult woman with my own squooshy bits, I am lucky enough to not inherit any body image issues from my mom. Sure, I have my own insecurities, but they are mine, not hers.
Gah, I just love this post. Love, love and more love.
xox
By Pgoodness on 10.20.11 2:06 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @pgoodness
I adore you and your squishy parts.
By bessie.viola on 10.20.11 2:14 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @bessie_viola
I love this so very much. It’s truth, every word.
By RsqAnimals on 10.20.11 2:15 pm | Permalink
Perfect!
By Carina on 10.20.11 2:20 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @jet_set
Mamas make nice pillows.
By lceel on 10.20.11 2:22 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @lceel
Me either.
By Paige on 10.20.11 3:11 pm | Permalink
I try to remind myself of exactly this when I am feeling bad about those extra pounds I never can get rid of. My son loves to snuggle with me in a way he doesn’t with his dad and I know part of that is because I am “squashy”. Thansk for saying it so well.
By Ashley on 10.20.11 3:17 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @ashleyb1182
Oh, man. I love this so much.
By Suzie on 10.20.11 3:17 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @eBayQueen
Love this! Trying to learn to love my squishy parts!
Suzie
By Stacey on 10.20.11 3:21 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @twinmomoftwinz
I’ve got plenty of squishy parts. That said, I’d like to make them less squishy but for me and my health not to fit some mold of what a woman is supposed to look like.
Thus, I love the message here: Squishy is ok! Our young girls need more of that and less of certain images in their faces.
Stacey Reply:
October 20th, 2011 at 3:23 pm
@Stacey,
Ooops “squashy” not squishy
By Dana on 10.20.11 3:33 pm | Permalink
Beautiful, exactly how I feel and what a great example you are setting for your daughters.
By Jaime on 10.20.11 4:21 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @jamesandjax
This is such a great post that I’m sharing it on my FB page. I love that you didn’t cave in to negative self-talk and enjoy those squishy parts. I’m going to adopt that perspective too! Thank you!
By Kylee on 10.20.11 4:30 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @twopretzels
“Yep. It’s one of the best parts of having babies. Becoming their favorite comfy place.”
–
This brought tears to my eyes today. Thanks.
I leave work each day at 1:15 to go pick up my daughter Lila from preschool. Then I wash her up and change her clothes and tuck her into bed with a book for a nap. I sing. She’ll rub my hand…
Then after that, I grab my Vivienne and I rock her and she smooshes into me and I hold her for 15 minutes before I have to go back to work. She just melts into me before I put her in her crib for her nap. And today? She was rubbing my arm while I rubbed her back.
Oh, I love these girls. I love this Mommy role. I’m happy being a softy.
Thanks for this post.
By molly on 10.20.11 4:55 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @adayinmollywood
We poke a lot of cushy bellies in our house. All look good to me. Even my stretched out butterfly tattoo on my tummy.
By kristen self on 10.20.11 4:56 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @amelias_mommy10
absolutely love this post!!!!!! i have lots of squashy parts from infertility issues and then my pregnancy… but i think amelia likes me squashy parts so they are fine by me too!
By suzanne @ pretty swell on 10.20.11 5:07 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @pretty_swell
Amen, sister!
By Misty @ The Family Math on 10.20.11 5:15 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @mistymathews
I’d probably place this in my top five favorite blog posts I’ve ever read. You are so right, and I needed to be reminded of this.
By Dwija {House Unseen} on 10.20.11 6:04 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @HouseUnseen
I heart this. Heart your outlook. What a blessing for your little ones to see your example
By Jamie on 10.20.11 6:06 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @chosenchaos
Bookmarked this for the days I need reminded… which is often. My 5 year old insists I’m having another baby because my belly looks like. Sigh.
By Anne on 10.20.11 6:33 pm | Permalink
Ditto… I was once told by my nephew that I was built for comfort and not speed!!!
By Patricia on 10.20.11 8:35 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @patmanasan
Thank you for this. You brought tears to my eyes and sunshine to what was looking to be a bad day.
By Nichole on 10.20.11 8:54 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @nicholee
Good stuff.
By Katie on 10.20.11 9:42 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @katieunscripted
So love this.
By christine on 10.20.11 10:07 pm | Permalink
My 4 year old calls my stomach and breasts my “pillow parts”.
And we have a Vivi too! Violet is 12 months old, and before she was born I didn’t know any other Violets, now they are everywhere!
By heather mcconnaughy on 10.20.11 10:53 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @comfortablyme
My niece tells me quite often that she likes my belly. It’s squishy and a=soft and a good place to lay her head.
My almost 9 year old daughter told me she was happy I was squishy, because I was comfortable to her. About two months ago she was embarrassed that I was taking her to the park. It goes back and forth with her.
Either way I give her a hug and a kiss and tell her I love her just the way she is.
By Sheyenne on 10.20.11 10:57 pm | Permalink
What a beautiful post. I love that your conversation with your daughter went like that. It’s a beautiful concept and so true.
By Becky on 10.21.11 3:13 am | Permalink
Thank you for making me re-think the way I view myself since becoming a mum xxx
By Katie on 10.21.11 10:11 am | Permalink
I love it!!
I constantly criticize myself and it’s hard to see it positively. But it’s oh so true. I don’t want my bf to be only muscle, so why would others want me to be that way? It’s only me putting this pressure on me!
By Jessica V. on 10.21.11 10:22 am | Permalink
Twitter: @bubzaymamma
Thank you for giving me a new appreciation for my squishy parts. Of course I never thought of it like this. SO the next time my son tells me that it looks like my back has gills I can explain this to him. “it’s all for you, baby!”
By Marta on 10.21.11 10:24 am | Permalink
Twitter: @marta28
I love this. I think I may need to save it for when I feel down about my squashy parts =)
By HeidiLee on 10.21.11 10:28 am | Permalink
So well said Casey!!! What a wonderful positive message to offset all the negative body images for munchkins growing up today!!!
By kate on 10.21.11 10:43 am | Permalink
This is exactly what I needed to hear (read) today. Thank you.
By Al on 10.21.11 12:12 pm | Permalink
not gonna lie – I’m smiling and tearing up. Sometimes I look at my size 14 self in disgust, but sometimes I remember that my kids love hugging me, all of me, and they think I’m beautiful. thanks for posting.
By Bethany on 10.22.11 3:07 am | Permalink
Twitter: @bethany1699
oh casey. Every time I think you can’t get any awesomer, you do.
By What I’m Reading on 10.22.11 8:12 am | Permalink
[...] I love view of our post baby bodies. Thanks Casey::: Squashy Parts [...]
By Jen on 10.24.11 11:50 am | Permalink
Twitter: @jenprays
I love this! I’m going to use it the next time my 8 year old son says I need to work out.
By Sarah on 10.28.11 3:41 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @skprkc
I love this. You have like 50-60+ years to worry about thinness and hard bodies and that stuff when this season is over. Now is not the time to be giving that stuff any mental space.
Hugs!
SK
By Weekend Wanderings on 10.28.11 11:56 pm | Permalink
[...] And now I have a new love for my squashy parts. [...]
By jerilyn on 10.29.11 9:19 am | Permalink
sweet way of thinking about it. I think I’ll be squishy even when I’m done having babies (thanks to having babies!)
By 11 Weeks to a More Organized Life & Home: Week 3 (10 Minutes of Exercise) » Blessings Overflowing on 10.30.11 10:17 pm | Permalink
[...] about exercise. I am not trying to diet and lose weight so that I look “good”. (Moosh in Indy has a good post on this subject.) I want to exercise for my [...]
By Vanderbilt Wife on 11.02.11 9:43 pm | Permalink
Twitter: @vanderbiltwife
What a beautiful picture and way to look at my body. Guess those two big squashy parts are useful for something else besides endlessly nursing the baby!