Hey look at me! Talking about my cats again! Pretty soon I’m just going to go into a complete cat lady montage wearing a bedazzled cat sweatshirt with attached collar to the tune of “You Light Up my Life” as I gaze longingly into their eyes (well, eye) Only it has to be the Debbie Boone version of “You Light Up My Life” the LeAnn Rimes version is way too normal for what’s going on up in here.

You know what I forgot about owning cats and a piano at the same time?

They will jump up on the keys in the middle of the night and walk across them, but instead of being level headed and thinking “Whoops! Forgot to close the piano keys and those pesky cats are at it again!” you think “A MURDERER GOT INTO THE HOUSE AND IS PLAYING THEIR OWN HORROR MURDER MUSIC WITH THEIR RUSTY HOOK BEFORE THEY MURDER ME IN MY BED AND I THINK THERE WAS A LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT THIS OR IF NOT MAYBE I’M GOING TO BE THE SUBJECT OF ONE…”THE PIANO PRELUDE KILLER”…OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND KIRSTEN DUNST WILL PLAY ME BECAUSE SHE HASN’T BEEN IN A GOOD MOVIE FOR A WHILE SO LIFETIME SPECIALS MUST BE NEXT FOR HER.”

You know, or something like that.

I also found two entirely new ways to feel like the absolute filthiest person you know.

A) Purchase a large dark multicolored wool rug and watch as your formerly clean house becomes littered with tiny little wool rug threads that stick to everything and look like you hate vacuuming or performing any sort of regular house maintenance at all. Attempt to blame said rug when you see company’s eyes shift downwards towards your fiber covered floor and see the obvious look of judgement when they assume you are attempting to pass of copious amounts of cat hair and filth as “rug fibers.”

I SWEAR IT’S THE RUG.

B) Adopt two cats from the Human Society only to discover that one of them has a tapeworm a week later (Hint, it’s not Wink.) The levels of disgusting range from “OH HI CAT WITH A GIANT PARASITIC WORM INSIDE OF YOU.” to frantic cleaning and decontaminating every surface ever touched by said cat, which is convenient given that the rug already has you working overtime with vacuum in hand.

Whoever said animals were easier than kids is A TOTAL LIAR.

Poor girl that sat next to me at church asked me some question and I responded with “I spent the morning cleaning up tapeworm segments from my cat.

Parasites, rug confetti and gorilla paw cats.

wink remains unplussed

It’s how we roll these days.

Comments

  1. Lol…the piano thing got me going! One of our frenchies is a rescue…Miss Molly..the toothless wonder. We wouldn’t have her any other way though. You’ll get your kitty all fixed up in no time!

    Casey Reply:

    @Shan, Stupid piano. Good thing I’m not freshly postpartum or I’d be peeing myself every time it happens.

  2. Oooh. Tapeworm does not sound good. But the piano? Made me laugh out loud. I’m sure had I been there I would have peed myself.

    Casey Reply:

    @Jenn, I can’t wait for it to happen to Cody when I’m out of town.

  3. oh you so know that’s going to be a Lifetime movie now…I mean how can it not, with a title like that.

    We have Barney tumbleweeds….I totally understand your pain with the rug.

    Casey Reply:

    @Domestic Extraordinaire, Barney tumbleweeds…heh.

  4. The rug was NOT bad. I didn’t even notice {but then I again, I live with a 1/2 inch of Cheerios}. Your kitties are sweeties. Sorry about the tapeworm. :(

    Casey Reply:

    @Cherie, My Cheerio days are coming. OH THEY ARE COMING.

  5. Tapeworm eek! Hope your kitty is tapeworm free soon!

    Casey Reply:

    @Jenny, Me too, and I hope the process isn’t as gross as it has been. Blech.

  6. Aww your polydactyl little guy totally looks like Kitty Softpaws from Puss in Boots: http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/23200000/kitty-softpaws-puss-in-boots-23247611-425-389.jpg

    Casey Reply:

    @mac, Wink reminds me of puss with the whole Tabby thing…but the one eye thing…Wink VanGogh Softpaws has a nice ring to it…

  7. Aw, piano kitties! And kitties who are sick. :(

    My poochie-poo had mange and kennel cough when I adopted her. She was pretty disgusting for awhile. And then there was the carsickness and the occasional naaaaassssty accident in the house (thank you, tender stomach).

    I’m pretty sure my friends and family thought I was nuts-o for hanging on to her. But you know what? She can still bring a smile to my face faster than just about anything else.

    I love your kitty stories. Keep ‘em coming!

    Casey Reply:

    @Senora H-B, So far the worms are the only gross thing we’ve contended with, but I’m ready to be done with it.

  8. I always try to reason with my clients that the tapeworms make for an excellent story (this usually get me odd looks). Your vet should be able to get you some Drontal dewormer for them. Also, don’t be surprised if you see more – it can take about a week for them to pass all the worms(joy!).

    Casey Reply:

    @Tina, My vet agrees that they are disgusting. She even shivered in horror with me. I love her.

  9. Our cat got tapeworms this summer and it IS especially disgusting. My daughter still walks around saying “Shadow had worms coming out of his BUM!!”. I don’t love that.

    I need to get a rug that I can blame stuff on for sure.

    Some lady at church asked me how I was doing yesterday and I said “my son got suspended for punching his Aide, my house is a disaster area, my husband is still unemployed and I have a massive headache. You?”. I bet she would have preferred your answer ;)

    Casey Reply:

    @Tarasview, Too bad we weren’t on either side of her, THAT would have taught her to make small talk.
    We haven’t told Addie what’s going on with Percy. Some things are on a need to know basis.

  10. I saw the pictures of Wink on Flickr, and was telling my husband about him. He looked at me, and said “Now you really want a new cat, don’t you?” LOL

    But anyways, tapeworms are SO gross, but the kitty is worth it.

    *hugs*
    Sounds like you just need a big cup of coffee!

    Casey Reply:

    @Sarah @ TM2TS, At least the one eyed cat isn’t the one with the worms. He has enough problems as it is.

    Sarah @ TM2TS Reply:

    @Casey, those paws, though? I want! He’s so CUTE, and he comes off as this sweet, good-natured cat!

  11. I like that you used the word “nonplussed” in this post.

    well done, vocab ninja, you.

    Casey Reply:

    @Katie, Doesn’t he look like a cat who would use the word nonplussed? I think it’s the thumbs.

  12. Oh my, that is a lot of cleaning to do! Sorry about the cat having the tapeworm, can’t say I would want to experience that :(

    Casey Reply:

    @BeachMama, I’m not sure anybody would. If they did? I’m not sure I would want to be their friend.

    BeachMama Reply:

    @Casey, ha ha, that was my polite way of saying, I am so happy I don’t have a cat and am allergic to them so I never will ;)

  13. I laughed myself silly over this. And then I stopped and really looked at the pic of your cat. You know, he really does look like he’s wearing white gloves. Or mittens. I think he needs a monocle.

    Casey Reply:

    @Andrea, As soon as I can photoshop one onto him? IT WILL BE DONE.

    Andrea Reply:

    @Casey, I will most certainly wait patiently for this. Thanks! :)

  14. Wink totally looks like he’s wearing white mittens! Hey it could be worse, you could have 2 (old) dogs and 3 (young) cats, yes, like us. They are one hilarious pack, and the hair never. ends. Love the stories! Sorry about the worms though *shudder*

    xo

    Casey Reply:

    @leel, The worms are gone! I can sit in my own house once again.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] walked in from day one and pretty much owned the place. He’s had a few struggles, first there were the worms, then he somehow got a huge laceration on his neck that got infected. He had to have an antibiotic [...]