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to the new one, the lurker, the regular and the old timer

I’ve noticed many people quitting lately. I’ve come across boxes of business cards from conferences that happened years ago and realized many of these people aren’t around anymore. Well, I’m sure the people are around, but their online persona has disappeared. Dozens of more people show up everyday and it makes me even more desperate to reach out to the people who have been here from the beginning…Angela, Colleen, Chrysta, Bree, Brittany, Sarah, Beth, Shannon, Dawn, Mandy…I know you all by name and seeing your email address in my inbox is a constant comfort to me that things haven’t changed that much and that people do stick around.

I’ve realized that while I have been plodding away with all of this because it is so much of who I am, I have been doing it with blinders. Unless something or someone stands right in front of me and says “LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT THIS.” I often miss it. It’s not that I don’t care, because I genuinely do, there are just some days it feels like such a fight to keep going myself. No matter how long you have been around chances are you have noticed a change. People are commenting less, reading less, clicking through less…but they certainly aren’t caring less. I have kept all of this up because first and foremost it is for me, for my girls, for my own emotional health. In all of the surviving I have been doing over the last several years I feel as though I am suddenly coming out of a dense fog surrounded by thousands of new voices and I’m convinced that each of them is more talented, more resonating and more entertaining than my own. Five years ago I would have felt an overwhelming desire to quit. Today I’m grateful to still be numbered among them, noticed on occasion and I will be eternally grateful that I have been able to help a handful of them.

I know there are things I need to upgrade and update. All this mobile theme talk…mine is practically non existent. Photos don’t show up. *shrugs* Not everyone cares that my site is easily navigated on the latest and greatest phone. They care that I show up on occasion and that I continue to fight through the difficulties I’ve been dealt.

That’s what I care about too.

Technically speaking the tools I’m using to put my words out into the world are outdated and certainly not geared towards prime traffic or major exposure. But my heart, my heart has grown on these virtual pages. I feel as thought I don’t belong to much of anything and yet I have been blessed to be a part of everything. I know so many of you. I wish I knew so many more of you. Writing has become the infrastructure that holds me up through the darkness. It may not be eloquent, properly punctuated or executed but they are all tiny threads that combine into one unbreakable rope that keeps me upright.

To those of you who are just starting to find your feet on this path so many of us have been on for so long? Welcome, I hope you find all the joy and wonder I have found in my time here. I’m grateful to be here with you. To be counted among you as part of this social network that has brought us together like never before. Nothing should be scary anymore, nothing should be impossible because suddenly we have access to thousands of men and women who have been were we are or are headed where we too are going.

I know people are still out there reading…the numbers tell me they are. Even if they weren’t I would still keep writing because maybe someday someone will stumble across them when they need them most. Like Hande in Turkey who is pregnant and scared. Or Vinessa who is going through invasive treatments to get her baby here. Or Erin who is scared that her mental illness may pass on to the children that she too is so desperately trying to get here as well.

Six years ago I sat down and thought “I’m going to start a blog. If Heather can do it, so can I. And maybe one day I too will make someone laugh until they pee or feel until they cry.

I never imagined I would have landed here.

Keep it up, whatever your part is here on the Internet, because you matter. You matter to me. From the lurkiest reader to the most engaged, from my very pregnant best friend I talk to daily to the girl I hugged that one time in an elevator.

You matter.

(Yes, you…what you have to say matters.)

eight months-9929

Completely unrelated, a photo of my very chubby baby pinching her own pinchable parts and poking her bellybutton.

It just feels strange not to include a picture when I have so many.

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Comments off.

As a more recent lurker (I can’t remember how I found you – but I love your writing and spent about 3 hours reading past entries!) I am thankful that you’ve stuck with it. Had I found you when I was struggling with infertility, your words would have resonated deeply. But – now that you have your sweet babe (and I’m expecting #2), I love sharing in the mommy moments.

Completely unrelated – how do you like the BG Artist prints? I’ve heard that they leak where the artist’s label is sewn on the back. But! They are adorable! (And what on earth is that adorable polka dot diaper also shown?)

Casey Reply:

@evsmarie, Congrats on #2! I’ve never noticed leaking at the labels (and I paid super close attention today for you!) The polka dot thing is a Bebe au Lait hooded towel. Love it.

I adore your blog. I do not comment a lot (anywhere, really) – but I have been thrilled the few times you have commented on mine! I think your writing and your photographs and your family are just beautiful. xo

Casey Reply:

@amanda, Thank you, and I don’t comment nearly enough myself. But I’m working on it, swear.

i just don’t really care if anyone’s out there, i’ll keep doing it because i like it. but it is odd, and noticeable, how people ebb and flow.

Casey Reply:

@j grumblies, I’m used to the December die down and the winter sads and the summer photo fests…which is why I don’t ever panic, just keep on keeping on.

I think it’s so awesome and strange that so many of us started our blogs within weeks of each other but it took so long to finally find each other. Anyway, girl, I’m still on Blogger and you know, several months ago they contacted me and told me thank you for still sticking around after so many bloggers moved on to other platforms. LOL!! Mainly it’s because I’m afraid and also lazy. And it works. It gets my words out there. So glad we have it.

Love you

Steph

Casey Reply:

@Adventures In Babywearing, Aww, you’re like Blogger’s golden child! I’m so happy we were brought together the way we were.

Love you right back.

I just started reading your blog about 6 months ago and I love it. I used to be super into healthy living blogs but since becoming a Mom it’s nice to read blogs that I can relate to. Plus your writing is beautiful and your kids are too. That picture is great!

Casey Reply:

@Sarah S., Heh, no healthy living here unless happiness counts! (as she shoves chocolate into her mouth)

My blog crush on you gets bigger and bigger every day, Casey.I love that you’re you for you and your family. I love your blog just the way it is. I think you’re the one that’s got it exactly right-you’re doing all of this to find your happy place, and the rest of it- the recognition, the love, money, whatever- comes as it may.

Casey Reply:

@Lindsay, Awww, shucks. And yes, everything that has come I never expected, but I’m enjoying it as it lasts.

I am normally a lurker as well but wanted to say today that THIS blog is one of what I use in my head as an example of what I want my blog to be…and with or without my own blog I would be here daily.
I can’t resist seeing all the squishy parts you show us ;)

Jennie Reply:

@Penny, Me too!!!! I absolutely adore your blog, Casey. I aspire to be able to put my thoughts and feelings into words like you do. Don’t change a thing. You blog is perfect just the way it is…and so are you!

Casey Reply:

@Jennie, Thank you guys. You’re the jelly in my donut.

Casey Reply:

@Penny, AWWW. Someday I’ll show you my squashy parts and we’ll be truly bonded in sisterhood. xo

Keep it up! —-from a regular lurker in Arizona…

PS–I love your baby’s diaper! What kind is it?

evsmarie Reply:

@Windy, The diaper she has on is a Bum Genius (artist print series). Cottonbabies.com has a sale right now – buy two get one free!

Windy Reply:

@evsmarie, ooooooo…..I have not yet used Bum Genius. Just newborn Fuzibunz and Cutiepoops right now on my twins. I will have to take a look!

Casey Reply:

@Windy, BumGenius are what I use 90% of the time. They’re great, especially if you have a chubby baby.

You left a comment on my (very new) blog that I so desperately needed.

Casey, I’ve poured over your past posts about depression just hoping that I can find a tether to grab onto to help pull myself out of *this* darkness. Your comment yesterday literally scooped me out of the deepest darkest hole I’ve ever been in.

I appreciate you so much for sharing and for caring. (cheesy, I know) Know that you’re making a difference in this very BIG world.

Love you.

Casey Reply:

@Stefanie, What you said, I’ve so been there. Trying so hard to stay afloat but wanting to just collapse under the weight of everything. I’m so happy I came upon the post that I did and I know it will help plenty of others.
xo

I’m a not-so-recent-reader, very-frequent-lurker, and all-around-Casey fan. I guess sometimes I feel awkward about commenting because I don’t have babies, but your writing resonates with me in so many other ways. I struggled pretty heavily with depression about 18 months ago and only just recently have been able to truly say “I’m happy now” and mean it. Your posts on depression, jealousy and struggling with something out of control, and staying in the moment resonate more than you ever know. You’re a refreshing voice in a world full of noise, so thank you for that.

On another note, I really enjoy reading about your girls. Addie is growing up to be quite the awesome young lady, and Vivi? Nom-city! I’m so happy she picked you to be her mom – Vivi & I share the same birthday and my mom is also a fabulous Taurus lady (I give a wee bit of merit to astrology), so I know how special that bond is. Vivi is indeed a very lucky baby, as is Addie to have you for a mom.

So, anyways, lots of rambling, but here’s to coming out of lurker-ville in 2012. Love your blog!

Have a wonderful day! XOXO.

Casey Reply:

@Nikki, Thank you Nikki, I’m so happy to hear that you’re doing better, it hits me so hard when I hear about someone not doing well. I just want to scoop them up and make it all better even though I know I can’t.
I love these little girls and am thankful everyday that I get to be in charge of them.

I do not comment often, but I am so happy you are so willing to share with us.

Casey Reply:

@Editdebs, Thank you, I’m so happy you’re willing to come back.

I haven’t known you from the start, but I’ve known you from MY start. You’ve gone from “Hey, she’s from Indy! I want to know her!” To someone I’ve met, shared Greek food and Just Dance with. I’m horrible w/ commenting only because I sometimes feel I have nothing intelligent to say – but now that I know you better I always watch for what you’re doing and saying. I’m glad that blogging helped me find you and all the other GeekGirls – otherwise I don’t know where I’d be today!

Casey Reply:

@Sarah, Must have more Greek food and dancing. Stat.

Sarah Reply:

@Casey,

I’m up for Greek food and dancing any day! There is never enough of either!

I’ve missed out on the past few GeekGirls parties b/c of crazy holiday-ness…but I’m hoping there’s another one soon!! I miss getting out with my girls!

Very well written, and I thank you for your words. My first year anniversary of blogging is coming up and I am so happy to say that I have enjoyed it. Too bad I didn’t start it five years ago, but there are reasons for everything. It was the perfect time for me to have started when I did.

P.S. I appreciate the time you took in talking with me last week. I love you and am so glad that we found each other again via Facebook! LOVE YOU GIRL!

Casey Reply:

@Rose, Happy anniversary! I still remember mine. I’ve got your back, always and forever.

This post spoke to my heart today. I’ve been considering giving up blogging over the past few days. But this post reminds me why I can’t.

Who, me? Casey, we must have that cup o’ joe, or whatever it is you drink.

And a HUG.

Casey Reply:

@lceel, Whipped cream with a bit of hot chocolate underneath you wonderful man, you.

Hi Casey! I recently de-lurked to you on twitter and I just wanted to comment and say that I’ve loved your blog for a long time. I’m just beginning to let my guard down on my own blog and am grateful for bloggers like you who make me feel so welcome. Thank you for that. I hope you have a great day!

P.s. I did get new slippers for Christmas. Hooray!

Casey Reply:

@Krista, I wore my old slippers today (the ones with the elastics hanging off the back) and I had cats chasing my feet all. damn. day.
xo

Well, I’m still here. I love your blog. I’m here because I relate to your words and I feel them. That’s what keeps me coming back to blogs. I have to feel a connection.

Also? We shared like 3.5 hours on a plane together. I couldn’t believe my luck that you were forced to talk to me for that amount of time :)

Before BlogHer I admired your writing but then I met you and you were just as genuine in person. That keeps me coming back too.

Now, I can honestly say I want to quit my blog at least two times a month. It is difficult to see so many bloggers I read becoming bigger and better. And after 5 years, I can’t even get people to subscribe to mine.

I know that’s not what is important. I write about deep dark secrets on my blog and a few people come and always read and always support me. That’s what is important.

You know I want to be a freelance writer. I have to believe this will happen for me someday too. I’m chasing that dream no matter what my blog stats are.

Casey Reply:

@molly, I’m so glad you came up to me in the airport and that we were able to have that time before all of the craziness in San Diego. It’s so big out here, on the Internet, it’s finding those few that mean everything that does matter.

I’m a lurker and occasional comment-er (and stalker of your Flickr, simply because Vivi and Addie pictures make my husband and I both melt, LOL).

Some days you need to hear that someone is listening. That someone is reading. I hope this message reaches someone who needs to hear it, including you, knowing that no one is alone, especially with the internet around.

*hugs*

Casey Reply:

@Sarah @ TM2TS, It’s true. And as a regular flickr stalker of many others, I totally get it.

Casey, I’ve been reading you since there were only like 20 posts on this blog! I read about your struggles with infertility while my husband and myself were starting our battle with it. I sang with joy the day you announced that Vivi was coming, and you were one of the first people I told when I found out in August that we are expecting, finally, after 2.5 years of struggle. I have no blog, I have no twitter, so it’s hard to know you read what I write to you… but I like to think that you do. I like to think that you know just how much your blog has meant to me over the years, and if it doesn’t, well I’m de-lurking once again to thank you. Thank you for being real.

Casey Reply:

@Melanie O, I have you in my warm fuzzies folder. I know this for a fact.

I’m mostly a lurker, simply because I read at work and don’t usually have the ability to click through and comment… Also, as someone who blogged 4-5 years ago, left, and just recently came back, I do see the difference in the landscape these days – but I totally agree that the amount of caring is still the same!

Casey Reply:

@meekasmommy, welcome back! and thank you for coming back. :)

I’m dying over that photo. Too cute. Love you girl, I love that your heart is in the right place.

Casey Reply:

@Barb @ getupandplay, I’m dying over Charlie in your Christmas photo….I LOOOVE HIIIIMMM.

It’s funny you should write this post, because I was just thinking the other day that after four years of blogging, yours is pretty much the only site that I’ve been subscribed to since the beginning. Your stories and your photos keep me coming back. The blog doesn’t make the person, the person makes the blog.

Ahh, baby chub! Feel free to keep that coming, haha.

Casey Reply:

@Lauryn, Oh, gosh. I’m blushing. thank you. And there’s plenty of chub to save the world.

I’m a lurker, but had to comment on the adorable photo. I love love love that diapers (its my favorite in my daughter’s stash!). I also love love love that she is pinching her chub (I have a chubby baby and rolls are my weakness). Carry on :)

Casey Reply:

@Michelel, I may save the artist series ones for photos on purpose. *may*

I am in your blog shrubs right now.

no, no, I’m not.

just a friend up in the mitten waiting for tulip time when i can see you again. and you can meet the charlie.

thank you for always writing words. they were some of the first I read in this ‘sphere o blog…and I am still here after almost five years of blogging, so that is something, yes?

Casey Reply:

@Katie, DON’T LOOK! My Christmas lights are still on the shrubs *shame*

I can’t wait to see Dutch dancing again. CAN NOT WAIT.

Thank you for writing this. I often feel like I really have nothing to say that anyone will actually care about, since I’m not one of the “big” bloggers. But I still like writing my little stories, sharing my thoughts, and throwing out some pictures anyway. If nothing else, I like to look back and see what I thought or had to say.

That picture above is absolutely hilarious! :)

Casey Reply:

@Jocelyn @ ScooterMarie, After meeting so many people who do what we do…no one is big, no one is small…I divide it into kind and…not.
You’re on the kind side, and that’s what matters.

Jocelyn @ ScooterMarie Reply:

@Casey, Thank you! Comments like yours, a kindness from basically complete strangers, are one of the reasons why I’ve come to love this crazy blog world.

Casey Reply:

@Jocelyn @ ScooterMarie, Bingo.

How wonderful are you? I mean, really?

Casey Reply:

@Kylee, I hear women who have daughters named Vivienne are the cream of the crop.

I almost quit a few weeks ago. Instead I decided to just be real and share what I hadn’t been sharing. It’s made all the difference in the world. I’ve re-found my love for writing again. I’m so glad I didn’t shut down, but I do understand how it happens.

Casey Reply:

@Issa, Oh that makes my heart happy. You are wonderful. NEVER forget that.

hi. i miss you here. come back more often. oh, and hug me on an elevator sometime would you? xo

Casey Reply:

@Kim, I’m so working on it. SO WORKING ON IT.

ya, when I started writing a blog 5 years ago I had NO idea what I was getting myself into :) .

And I love that picture. Mmmm baby.

Casey Reply:

@Tarasview, Seriously. This place needs to come with a warning or something.

I am a lurker, but I adore your writing. I often re-read your posts. Sometimes I just pick a point in time and read around.

Casey Reply:

@Rachel, Is it weird to admit I do that too? Just to see how far I’ve come…thanks for lurking and delurking today.

Long time lurker… occasional commenter… I can’t even remember how long I’ve been reading your blog, but I do know I have told many people about you. It must feel kinda weird to know that people all over the world say “I know this wonderful gal named Casey” even when we don’t really technically know you, we know about you and your life and your ups and downs. I’ve referenced you, I’ve sought guidence from your blog, I’ve felt sorry for you, I’ve felt happy for you, but most of all… I’ve envied you. Not in that jealous cat fight way, but in a “wish I had that life” kinda way and a “wish I could write like her” kinda way. You are definitely an inspiration to many many people out there so I’m happy that you refuse to change or give it up. Old, New, Borrowed or Blue you have a story to help everyone that stumbles upon you.
Keep doing what you’re doing!

Casey Reply:

@Shannon, You’re super kind Shannon, and thank you. One of my favorite parts of the Internet is when I do meet people we can just pick up as though we have been friends our whole life. Thanks for sticking around, coming back and supporting me.

I have only sorta quit. I am still reading and thinking about writing. But, I am feeling that as my kids have gotten older that and my “me” time has gotten shorter, that I needed to be more present.

And I didn’t like feeling pressure to keeping up with the commenting on all my friends’ blogs. And the funny thing, is, since I have allowed myself that, I find commenting as less of a “job” and more of commenting because I really really want to. And maybe I will be back to writing. But, for now, it is right for me right now.

Casey Reply:

@Inthefastlane, I totally get that, some days it just feels good to wander around, find new places, leave supportive comments. Other times I have so much to write there isn’t enough time. It is hard to write as kids get older…for so many reasons.

I love your blog and your words…your honesty and your heart…and I love how I came across this today because I needed it. Badly. I nearly ditched my blog this week because I started getting sucked into comparing my work with others and the whole blogging/mommy blogging world…was feeling pressure about my writing style, content, my blog’s design…(sigh) I had to go back and think about what’s important to me and why I’m writing. It’s for me, for my emotional and mental health yes, but it’s also for other women, other people who need to know they aren’t alone. I’m so grateful I read this piece…I’m encouraged to keep going. Thank you for saying this.

Casey Reply:

@A’Driane, I hate feeling that pressure, I’m not sure anyone is immune to it. Take a break. Come back to it when it feels right, and when you do you’ll wonder why you ever left.
Or at least that’s what’s happened with me.

I’m a lurker turned blogger, and just love reading what you and other bloggers share. I wrote a little bit about this community — and how precious it is to me — on my blog the other day: http://ow.ly/8oInW . Really grateful, friend, that you do what you do and write what you write. I appreciate every word of it!

Casey Reply:

@Sarah — Inspiration-Driven Life, That was a damn good post Miss Sarah. *applause*

The use of that picture of Vivi is kind of unfair because I’m thinking all these deep thoughts because of your well-written post and then just end up giggling at the end at the cuteness that is Vivi. Insert sigh of happy here.

Casey Reply:

@Ohh Betsy!!, Wait until I send you the one of her giving herself a purple nurple.

Thank you for writing this. I’m a faithful Babble reader, and have lurked around your personal blog for a few weeks now. I think what drew me to your blog was your fantastic writing, and being a fellow Hoosier (born and raised in Indy!)
I actually started a blog of my own recently, because I have become a stay at home mother. I hope my blog will help me organize my thoughts and archive my memories, as well as help me grow as a writer.
As of right now, my readers consist of me and a few of my family members and friends…and I’m okay with that. I have not been brave enough to share my blog with others, but maybe someday I will find the courage to.

Casey Reply:

@Heather, Hoosiers unite! My friend was just in an article about stay at home moms who blog being happier about life since they have more interaction than ones who do not.
When you’re ready to ‘come out’ let me know. :)

I haven’t commented lately, but it would take alot for me to quit you! xo

Casey Reply:

@Angie, You’re my dress twin. :)

What’s weird, and maybe a little sad, is that I’ve only ever known this quiet side of social networking, of blogging, of not commenting. To me, that’s normal. I see that there is this giant community. I hear about all the wonderful stories of people helping people. But I don’t…feel it.

I think that’s okay. I think it’s okay because I still believe in it. I know that people who need help can get help. I know that people that have talents are sharing them.

And yes, sometimes I do wish I was on the receiving end of all that….love, of all of the good that I can see and hear. But even when I am not, even when it feels like my words are going unread and they have just faded into the black hole of the internet, I see that someone else has been heard. I see that someone else is right where I am, or was, or may some day find myself. And it’s okay. It still seems worth it. Because in the end, knowing that it’s *not* just for me, that all of this is not something I solely benefit from, that’s much better.

Casey Reply:

@Rylee, The quiet side can be just as powerful as the loud noisy side…because the quiet side doesn’t come with all the extra drama and meanies. There are times I wish my side were a little more quiet…but the grass…greener…cliche.
You matter. Promise.

For so long I lurked and boy am I am so glad I finally spoke up! I’m hoping to keep doing so more. And for the record, I still laugh at myself over how starstruck (blogger-struck?) I was when I actually got to meet you and Vivi :)

Keep on doing what you’re doing…cuz it rocks!

Casey Reply:

@Beth, Ha! I’m so glad you spoke up and brought candy with you!

Beth Reply:

@Casey, I like to make a good first impression, you know :)

Thanks for sticking with it!

Casey Reply:

@katy, right back at you babe.

Yes. Yes. YES.
I write like nobody’s reading. Because first and foremost, my site is FOR ME. If someone else nods in agreement, or has a “me too” moment, I am over-the-moon. But, yes, that’s how I deal with fewer comments and feedback. I know it’s for me…feedback is just gravy ;)

Casey Reply:

@alimartell, Oh how I love gravy. Literal gravy.

Your post really hit home for me. I just started a blog myself. Its for me and my sanity. My outlet, my space.

I love reading your blog – it is insightful, funny, and like a warm, cozy sweater on a cold day. I come here to feel uplifted. And, damn, if those babies of yours are not the cutest things!

Casey Reply:

@Kristen, I’M A SWEATER? Ohh, thank you! Best wishes on your journey!

I’ve been around awhile and I’ve noticed the same thing… more traffic, but less commenting. Sad.
I love all your writing, but I guess I only comment when I feel like I have something to say. Maybe I should change that…
Love all the baby pics too! :)

Casey Reply:

@Krista, I blame people reading from mobile devices and readers…things have changed with how we have to read blogs and what’s most important is we’re participating, even if it isn’t with comments.

I am pretty sure that only like 5 people read my blog. But that’s okay… I am not trying to be Dooce or The Pioneer Woman… I can’t. In my heart, though, I am a writer. And I need a place to write. Your blog has inspired me, and I think it’s wonderful. I’m glad you’re not going anywhere.

Casey Reply:

@Rachael, Thank you…and if of those five people (which there are more, promise) you help one of them? It’s all worth it. ALL OF IT.

LOL The timing of this post is just to perfect. I have been seriously considering blogging again, but have been (up until your post) really wishy-washy. Thanks for the kick in the pants. :)

Casey Reply:

@Lauraszoo, Do it do it do it do it do it. Jeff would want you to do it too.

Thank you.
For being you. For writing. For being real.

Casey Reply:

@Brittany, Thank you for all the same things.

I love your blog! It is real. And I like real. : ) I have a very small mommy blog that I rarely get comments on. But I do it because I know 2, 5 or even 10 years down the road I will be able to laugh and maybe cry at some of the events that have transpired. I also hope one day my kids will want to look at the pictures and read the stories about them. It keeps me writing. And it is a great outlet…even if nobody ever reads it again. Keep writing and I will keep reading!

Casey Reply:

@Amber C., I love going back and reading about things I would have forgotten about. It’s one of my favorite things to do.

I’ve been lurking faithfully for, hmm, a year or so? I think I’ve commented only once. Sorry about that. But I’m out here enjoying your writing! :)

Casey Reply:

@missohkay, Itsssohkay! (Sorry, couldn’t help myself.) :)

***verklempt***

I can’t believe you actually mentioned me by name!!!

Casey, you made it okay for me to talk about my own depression. You made me realize that staying inside my hole doesn’t help anyone. And that being super open about it when I am well can be especially helpful for those around me who may be struggling, but haven’t yet come to an acceptance of the disease they live with.

I did quit commenting so much, partly because I finally figured out how to subscribe to blogs so that I wouldn’t miss anything, but now I read them in Google Reader instead of on the actual blog.

Also partly because you’re doing so well lately that I figure I can sit back and just let you enjoy it. When you’re having a rough time, I feel more compelled to let you know that I’m rooting for you, but maybe I shouldn’t restrict myself that way.

Also too? Now that we’re FB friends I see you all the time, and I’m sure you see wayyyyyy too much of me! I have a blog that I use sometimes, but I like FB as a medium because I’m really only entertaining in short bursts. :)

All that to say, I love you Casey. Keep writing. <3

Casey Reply:

@Chrysta, You’ve been by my side for SO LONG. Through EVERYTHING. On my list of “people I must meet before the world ends” you’re on it.

Chrysta Reply:

@Casey, That wasn’t fair. Now you made me cry for real. And I don’t cry. Not unless I’ve had no sleep for at least 48 hours or am borderline psychotic.

If you’re ever in the DC area (well, at least for the next three years – we ARE in the Army) come stay at my house. I’ll make you Starbucks hot chocolate with whole milk and a little heavy cream on top. (Tried that the other night and it rocked my world. You need some.)

Thank you for writing, Casey. The words that you have used to describe your depression and anxiety have given me the words that I needed to say to my family and friends to help them “get” what was “wrong” with me.
Thank you.

Casey Reply:

@Hannah, Oh, that makes me so happy Hannah. So. so so so so happy.

Hi. That picture almost made me hop in my car and drive to Indy. :)

I’m glad you’re here. I started reading you SO long ago and I’m not going anywhere. :)

Casey Reply:

@pgoodness, You’re one of the best people on the Internet, I hope you know that. And this baby…she’s worth the drive.

I’m so glad you wrote this, because this has been heavy on my heart lately. I’m just not feeling it lately (my own writing, that is), and spend a lot of time wondering what’s the point of it all? You reminded me of why I did it in the first place – it soothes me when i write without overthinking, and I can look back and see all the precious stories and photos of my children that would never exist otherwise.

I’m also so eternally grateful for the wonderful people I’ve met through blogging – the ones far away and the incredible group of people right here in Indy, including you!

Casey Reply:

@Angie @ Just Like The Number, Right back at you. Breaks, they need to be taken. And you need to stick around for a long long time, for as long as there is Just Dance and cupcakes in Indy.

You…you are just awesome. I’m so glad I know you. :)

Casey Reply:

@Mary, You are magnificent. I still need to get you and Miss H on camera. Sooner than later (you hear that weather?)

I don’t know which category I fit into, but I’ve been doing this for a year now and I am not going anywhere.
I am commenting less, trying to maintain some sort of balance between live life and online life.
But your words always matter to me. I don’t know who you think is more eloquent or resonant, but I do know that I nod my head and cry real tears or grin like a maniac when I read your words.
I also know that I curb my potty mouth(which is freaking hard, yo) to comment here and I nominated your beautiful self for a couple of Bloggies. Which means that you must be doing quite a bit more than a little bit right.

Casey Reply:

@Joules, Oh shucks. And it’s true that commenting is the first thing to go, but personal balance is so important.
You should also know I have a plugin that will curb your potty mouth for you. :)

Joules Reply:

@Casey,
This is a ****ing test.

Joules Reply:

@Joules,
Haha, awesome:)

Casey Reply:

@Joules, I will say it doesn’t edit in my emails though. Heh.

Joules Reply:

@Casey, Derp. Promise not to test it again:)

Your perspective helped me tons through my sister’s infertility, and all those procedures she needed. I appreciated your advice (I brought donuts to the HSG!) and beyond that, just adore you.

And oof. Vivi’s belly. Love it.

Adore you. xo

Casey Reply:

@Sarah, Thank you, and thank you for being there for your sister, even though I don’t know her, I know how important it was to her to have you (and the donuts) there.
xo

I pretty much never comment (though I did email you once, and you replied…in fact I’m the very last quote/excerpt in the post you linked to about gratitude, hope, and inspiration…man it feels a bit awkward/pretentious to say that). I love to read everything you say – your words are beautiful, and your feelings, descriptions, honesty, love for your family – they’re the kind of things that make us all feel like we DO matter, so you hit the nail on the head with that thought/this post. I’m so glad you’re willing to share yourself with all of us. ♥

Casey Reply:

@Aly, I have a special place for the people in my warm fuzzy folder. :)

[...] is YES. I’m pretty sure I’m going to I need to continue writing. And I have some of you (Kim, Casey, Catherine) to thank for my renewed sense of purpose with this blog. You’re right—our words [...]

I’m not sure what category to put myself in, I’ve never liked categories though so that may be why. I’m certainly new and I certainly lurk. You have made me feel until I cry. Sometimes I comment sometimes I don’t. Your site feels comfy and homey, no flash needed. Thank you for being here.

Casey Reply:

@Jamie, Oh thank you, and it’s been fun to see your site grow as you’ve participated so much over the last several months.

My path to you came through several different blogs that eventually led me to Babble while I was pregnant. I’m a mostly lurker, occasional commenter, and new blogger myself.

Your blog is an inspiration of words and pictures. It’s truly a pleasure to check in every day. Your girls are beautiful. Oh that baby chub! Addie’s smile! I love it! But the kicker for me – I’m a veterinarian – specifically a surgeon for our local humane society – and you adopted 2 ADULT kitties! And one had special needs – that just melted my heart. So many people overlook adults when they’re thinking of adopting. Those 2 little furballs sure are lucky!

Don’t ever stop writing and taking pictures!

Casey Reply:

@Tina, Oh thank you Tina, I never knew I’d win so many hearts by taking in these two cats who are currently marking up my windows with nose prints staring at squirrels.
It’s just one of those things, (my sister is a tech at an eye care hospital) you buy local and you rescue animals.

I would totally fall in the lurker category on almost every blog I read. I definitely care (or I wouldn’t read) but I don’t know 99% of the blogs I read in real life. Plus I read on my iPod a lot, and (lazy of me I know) it’s hard to comment on an iPod… so mostly I don’t. But I am here! And I am often behind but I do eventually read every word of the 50+ blogs I follow.

Casey Reply:

@Kaycee, That’s really admirable. I read on my phone a lot and am guilty of not leaving comments as well, but I use facebook like buttons voraciously.

Kaycee Reply:

@Casey, They should make an easier way to comment on iPods and phones, then I totally would more often! :) Posts stay “unread” in my reader for awhile if I want to comment on them but then if I haven’t had time on a computer to do it I usually mark them read again after about a week. I figure I am too far behind to comment at that point. :)

I’m late to the party Casey, but I read this yesterday on my phone. I had to come back and comment. First, you’re amazing. I read every comment and your response. You know your readers. You care about them. It’s obvious. Second, I wrote yesterday about something real and scary and SO PERSONAL. And I got more information on Twitter about my son and his “things” than I’d gotten out of months of therapy. There’s just something about this community and it’s ability to help, share and inform. It’s awesome and you, my dear, are among the best.

Casey Reply:

@Angi, Well thank you, and I’m so glad that you were able to have such a breakthrough yesterday, no sense in going through the hard stuff alone.

The hard part for me, or I guess the easier way to lurk, is to be a relevant commenter. At times it feels like I would just be adding to the stock-photo responses and just seem like a follower.
I appreciate your blog and will definitely work on commenting more relevantly more often.
Thank you for continuing to write and share your beautiful family and life with us.

Casey Reply:

@Gamanda, Thank you, and to be honest if I can’t think of something profound and relevant to say? I won’t say anything. I just don’t think “NICE POST!” is very genuine. Sometimes I’m at a loss for words, know I need to say something but only one word comes out.

I appreciate every post, more than you imagine. Your point of view reassures me that for every dark time, there is a bright spot just ahead. Your honesty is tremendous.

This of course goes without saying, but I also appreciate every Vivi chub monkey picture.

Casey Reply:

@Ella, Vivi Chub Monkey. That is what I shall be calling her all day tomorrow. (and thank you xo)

Lurker from Mozzi belly times, and occasional twitter conversation. I found you when my depression was at it’s worst, and have never been more grateful. Also, I would totally drive 2 hours to see those gorgeous girls, and have you take my little’s pictures. Vivi is so stinkin’ squishy, I can’t stand it.

Casey Reply:

@Kirsten, There’s a plaque on Vivi’s wall that reads “and mozzi makes four” I sometimes forget that this baby went by Mozzi for so long.
I would love to take your littles’ pictures. Thanks for sticking around doll.

Um, this post is awesome and I needed it. Life gets so busy that it’s easy for me to go “Oh, no one CARES about my mundane day, I don’t need to BLAWG about it.” (I’m southern, remember.) But people do care, at least the really good ones. Thanks for the reminder.

Also, OMG, Vivi. She’s so squishibly squeezable even SHE can’t resist herself.

Casey Reply:

@Jen L., Oh I care. I would notice if you were gone. Believe it or not I WOULD TOTALLY NOTICE.

Keep up with your darlin’ suthin’ self.

I couldn’t comment until I read through every single comment and now I’m all fuzzy and warm and have nothing to say.

Except that I too have noticed lots of people going and coming… and going away again. And it’s good to have friends that will stick around for a long, long time.

I’ve been reading for… a long time? At least 3 years. Probably more like 4? Can’t remember. Anyways, I lurked for a long time before I commented but so glad I did.

Indy is much warmer and fuzzier now because of it.

Here’s to the many awesome years ahead!

Casey Reply:

@ClassyFabSarah, I’m so happy you spoke up, both for the friendship and the cookies. xo

I am one of the lurkiest of lurkers. . .I don’t feel like I have anything add to the conversation, so I don’t comment. But I have to today. I love your writing and I hope you never stop. It makes me happy to see a new post. You have such a graceful, honest presence amongst so much snark elsewhere on the internet. Reading here is refreshing and has helped me feel so much less alone fighting depression. Thank you for giving such an honest unashamed voice to something so crippling. xo

Casey Reply:

@A different Casey, Casey’s of the world UNITE.

Your comment gave me goosebumps, so thank you. Thank you so much.

Oh my, have I been blogstalking you for four years now? Pretty darn close, anyway.

By the way, your chunk is so cute. I <3 BumGenius Jet Setter. I own two now. Yay sales!

Casey Reply:

@Emily, I have two of each of the Artist series too! NEED MOAR PATTERNS!

Emily Reply:

@Casey,

Ah, I know, cloth is addictive! I bought Albert in the new Freetime all in one, and if I had a girl, I’d be all over Lovelace. I might just buy it anyway. ;)

First of all, the second half of your second paragraph really resonates with me…

I’ve been blogging a while myself and I know what you mean about folks coming and going. I actually just posted yesterday that one of the main reasons I keep blogging is because of the friendships I’ve made through doing so.

Anyway, I always love your words and aspire to your quality of photography. Your photos simply make me swoon and I’m so glad to have met you and that you are still here writing your lovely words and posting your beautiful photographs.

xo,
Elaine

Casey Reply:

@Elaine, Thank you Elaine. I could never turn my back on the people that lurk and type from the other side of my screen.
You included. :)

I keep saving this post in my reader to give it a proper read… and I finally have.

I mostly want to say you matter to me too. You, and that baby with the chubby belly, and that girl with the curly locks. It brightens my day to see you pop up in my reader… or on my facebook. I’m so happy that all of these years later we’re still connected by this crazy internet.

[...] never know when their story will touch someone or bring someone back from the edge. You may think you have nothing to add, nothing to say, but you do…you have you to [...]

I missed this the first time around perhaps because according to my calendar on the 10th I was at Animal Kingdom. I’m so glad you linked back to this so I could read it.

I’ve been blogging a long time but only really aware of the whole community and world of blogging for the last year or so. Before it was my words and my friend’s eyes. Now, there’s all this hierarchy and exclusivity that I can’t stand. The endless popularity contest.

It gets hard to feel like your words matter when mixed in with 1000s of others and their words. I completely understand how people quit. But this for me was never about popularity or money or endorsements. Its about my words. Though I won’t deny I wish there were more friend’s eyes that read them.

Marta Reply:

@Marta, ALSO. I comment on every blog post I read. If I didn’t comment it was because I didn’t read it. I wish commenting was a regular part of everyone’s reading habits!